[nursedeborah]

Kris,
It was all worth th read. That's what has been even more of a blessing to me to hear peoples
stories, as I too come here with so much. I also am like you in how my mother responds, or
hers is even worse, as is my daughter so I never talk about this with them. Never really have
been able to explain to anyone, until recently when I was finally able to get out of the house
again. I am still working on calling people, but after total isolation it is not easy.

If I were you, I would stay on the dose you are on for at least 2 weeks, before you decide to
do anothr decrease. There is no race, just a goal, and that's to just get off this crap.

Looks like you have the count down pretty good, there are 9 balls per 1 mg, 180= 20 mg, one
person got 166. All the majority here have gotten the same 180 for a 20 mg cap = 540 in a 60 mg.

If you loook back in the older posts one has it down to the 1 mg, I think that's in the Sept posts,
but everyone can call it what they have counted, and just go from there, right?

Just remember is it is a goal, not a race. We can do this together, and there is so much support
here!!! Keep us posted!

Debbie

[MaureenV]

Hi Krispris,


Good to see you back; I was very interested in your story. I can well understand about the driving thing.

Are you able to get much sunshine to help with your Vitamin D?

Interestingly, in Australia, we're so conscious of being able to make the unenviable claim of having the highest skin cancer rates in the world, that many people avoid the sun altogether, and random health checks have found significant Vitamin D deficiencies.

You no doubt know all of this and more, but I found this interesting:

http://www.femail.com.au/anthony-pearce ... ciency.htm

It mentions a link between Vitamin D deficiency and depression ???

Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

Kris,
Wow! You told my story so well, I just get coffee in the am. I swear it's as if you were inside my
home as you wrote that!

If I would not have read that this am I really would have felt like there was something incredibly
wrong with me. I felt like that anyway when I first got here with the withdrawls, but I saw how
close they were to being just how I had been like since I had even been on the drug.

I too couldn't shower for like 2 weeks at a time, I even wanted to just go, and have someone
wash my hair for me as I couldn't even do that anymore at the sink. I am still like this as I am
coming off this crap. At times I do see a glimpse of my oldself, but then I get a huge wave of
all the withdrawl symptoms, and I just go down like I was on the full dose.

It's like it has taken my will to live away, and I just get up, and sit all day. Right now just happens
to be a really horrible time for me, and I am so full of anxiety, but I also can feel this one passing
too.

This has so ruined my life, me, who I was, what I was like, how I lived. I am nothing like I used to be
at all. I too hate to look in the mirror, as I don't take the time to do anything to my self anymore,
and it's so very sad.

I was even thinking about it the otherday that if I had to obtain a lawyer it would be so hard on me
to do as I am such a mess, how would I follow through?

I am not sleeping, can't eat either, and just laying on the couch. I can't get to the store if I had to
it's just to hard right now.

I just have to hold on, and know I will get better at some point, but it's so very hard, this crap so did
a number on me.

Debbie

[MaureenV]

krispris said:

Sorry to all for dropping off again. I''ve been coping with a family emergency and have also learned a friend of mine died suddenly. I can't write much more. Thank you Debbie. If you would like my email, please let me know. It may be another couple of weeks before I can find what I need in me to check in again. It is just all too much right now.

Thank you everyone. I think of you all here everyday and know I am not alone. This site does help.

So sorry to hear things are not going well for you. Just drop in whenever you can and let us know how you're doing, o.k.?


Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

Kris,
So glad you wrote, and yes would love your e-mail, here's mine freedu2we@verizon.net

So sorry about all the things going on in your life, just know God is with you, and I will keep
you in my prayers too.

Love,
Debbie

[Junior]

Hi KrisPris

Just want to echo what has already been said.

Sorry to hear that things are really difficult for you right now. Don't feel obligated to post. Just know that we are here for you when you want to talk :)

Kind regards
Junior

[MaureenV]

Hi Krispris,


A word of advice: stop looking to your parents for support. If they don't 'hear' what you're saying by now, they're never going to do so. Some people also don't have the faintest idea HOW to support someone, even someone close to them, and their awkwardness and embarrassment at their own inadequacies makes them trot out 'formula' stuff that doesn't even actually make sense.

If I told my mother I'd been on anti -depressants, she'd say 'oh everyone just seems to resort to a pill now if they're unhappy, we didn't have that option'. End of discussion.

I haven't told any family members about it, just two close friends. I've long since given up discussing things with people who are of a different mind. I'm not looking for confirmation that I've done the right thing or the wrong thing, and that's what you get when you look for support from the wrong place.

Anyways, congratulations on your one month.


Maureen (Stranger No 1.)

[nursedeborah]

Kris,
Just good to hear from you that's all. I know what it's struggling as I am having
one of those days. I actually had a few good days in a row, and then it just hit
me a little while ago.

I will just be so frigging glad when this is all over with, as I am so tired of it all.

I am so sorry about your trip home, I know how those are too!

Take good care of your self,
Debbie