Pika_Dream, on 30 June 2010 - 12:01 PM, said:
Hello Everyone.....
Today makes my first week off Cymbalta. I quit cold turkey. Before anyone starts raving about what a bad idea that is, let me say that I did not have a choice. I got fired from my job in April, so since then I have been having to pay full price for it which is about $140. Our credit cards are maxed out and we are barely making bills now, and I still haven't found a new job....so it had to go. I am sort of glad about it anyway, because I have been on it since January of 2009. Previous to taking Cymbalta, I have always been very skinny- couldn't even really gain weight when pregnant....so you could imagine my surprise when by May of 2009 I was having to go up to size 8 pants....when I have always been like a 5/6. Well....another year later and I am now 40 lbs over my normal weight....a feat pregnancy could not even attain! I am now wearing size 12/14. I absolutely HATE it! I have a huge jelly roll oozing out from the top of my pants, I am getting new stretchmarks from how big I have gotten (and I barely had any stretchmarks at all before now!). My stomach and thighs are covered with this nasty, cottage cheese fat. It makes me so angry. My sex drive has been completely gone since I started taking this medicine, much to my husband's frustration. I'm not so sure if that is because of the medicine or because when I look in the mirror I look like the nasty fat people I used to shake my head at when I would see them out in public thinking "I'd never let myself get THAT bad". Sigh....I HATE being naked now....I'd rather throw up than look at myself naked. If I could shower with clothes on, I would. My husband keeps telling me he thinks I am still beautiful and somehow that just makes me feel worse. Its like "Shut up and stop looking at me!!"
Since stopping the Cymbalta last Wednesday, I have been going through absolute hell....I was taking it for Fibromyalgia, not depression, so my pain has returned full force, and amplified like I never thought possible. I have found myself completely exhausted....its like my brain is getting so overworked trying to keep me conscious that its giving up. I sleep all afternoon. Its hard for me to climb the stairs, I get really dizzy and have to stop. I have been having some major mood swings and emotional problems. I cried yesterday when they showed this guy his car all re-done on the cable show Overhaulin....then two things crossed my mind. Why am I watching a guy TV show...and WTF am I crying for? Its a CAR! Cried when I saw Deadliest Catch last night too, cuz its when Captain Phil had his stroke....made me think of when I lost my dad, and I sat there and just wailed. I have been screaming at my husband and kids....it just feels like everyone around me right now are just the stupidest people drawing breath on this planet. Every time they open their mouths to say something I just roll my eyes....and I know they aren't doing anything wrong, but its like I am just mad anyway....wish everyone would leave me alone. Been having panic attacks too, and I have never had those. THEY SUCK! Keep having really vivid dreams, so vivid I think I am awake and they're real. Only can tell I am dreaming when I wake up and realize the dream actually made no sense and couldn't possibly actually happen. To add to this misery, I think the withdrawal is actually causing my depression from age 16 thats been under control for years to resurface. I'm not dealing with being unemployed and not being able to find another job....seems that once you have been fired from somewhere- no one cares why, they just don't want to hire you. They figure if someone else got rid of you, you must not be worth anything, and right now that is exactly how I feel. I think I would feel a million times better if the weight would start coming off.....at this point, I don't care if I am in pain, or moody, or angry, or even unemployed. I am just tired of looking like a lazy fat slob! If I can start looking like sexy me again, maybe I will start feeling like sexy me again. Sorry to rant.....just had to let you know that for all the problems this medicine is supposed to solve, it just created a ton more I didn't need....I think I am worse off now then when I started taking it, and I will never take it again. I'd rather be in tremendous pain, but thin and able to like myself, then pain free, fat and ugly.
Dear Pika:
It touched my heart to read your story. There are many things that have happened to me also, and is the first time someone puts them in words.
I was also always very skinny. Gained 52lbs on cymbalta, ending in size 14. I wasn´t eating that much, all the people around me (family and friends) would always complain of how fat I was. You are so lucky your husband tells you how beautiful you are in spite of the additional weight.
My sex drive is zero. But I think having zero libido, is not caused by the weight gain. I am sure there is something linked to the med/chemicals and sex desire.
The good news is that one CAN lose weight. After 5 years of being fat, I lost 31lbs by doing exercise and eating healthy.
Sleepiness, dizziness, mood swings, crying, rage, vivid dreams are withdrawal symptoms that I have also experienced. Shocking to hear that you took cymbalta for fibromalgia (not depression) and withdrawals is causing old depression to resurface. Scary thing!
But the paragraph I feel more related to, is this one “and not being able to find another job....seems that once you have been fired from somewhere- no one cares why, they just don't want to hire you. They figure if someone else got rid of you, you must not be worth anythingâ€
I´ve done so many job interviews (60 interviews in 2 years) and none of the companies wanted to hire me. This made me even more depressed.
Pika, human beings are so demanding. Now you complaint about the weight gain, and say that you don´t care about the pain, moody, angry, unemployed. But I tell you that I did lose weight and still I am not happy because I am moody, angry and unemployed.
You WILL lose the weight!!!!! .......
Hugs
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