[cookie]

Hi Karen:
Your BMI is excellent!!!!!: you shouldn´t worry that much about weight. Plus you eat healthy and exercise. After 5 years of medication it got to a point in which my BMI was 27,3. I am glad I lost the weight.

I am glad to hear your feet feel better after taking alpha lipoic acid and vitamin B12. I read something about the relation between Food Intolerance and Fibromyalgia and Depression. I do not know what kind of doctor or test can diagnose food intolerance. I am very interested in knowing. Have you heard something about this?

The mood swings I am having are undescribable. The horrible, down and dark mood I had this week, was replaced today by a sense of calmness and balance.. The “downs” I have are similar to when my severe depression hit, and my “ups” remind me of the old me before the illness (although not entirely 100%). I just do not know how I will feel once the medication is out of my system. I do not know if this “ups” are also part of withdrawal (like and artificial happiness) and I won´t have them once I am completely off the med. I just do not know who I am anymore. Just so confusing.

However, one thing I´ve learned is to really enjoy those moments of calmness and balance. I enjoy every little thing, every moment. I laugh at everything I can, I find sense of humor on little things.

The guy called me today to know how I was feeling. I had told him previously I was feeling bad but didn´t tell him exactly why. I just admire those couples in which one of the person is completely healthy and the other one has a health problem. I´ve seen on this site different couples, husbands taking care of their wife, girlfriends taking care of their boyfriends. I think that is a proof of love. But in my case, I feel it is unfair to him, he´s a young guy who wants to enjoy life.

Karen thank you so much for being there, listening and sharing. Talking to you has been a lot of help.

Hugs
Cookie

[cookie]

Hi Karen:
Again, I think your BMI is perfect. Take care of yourself but do not be obsessed with the numbers on the scale. The important thing is that you feel well and you are healthy.

My neck is much better, but haven´t gone back to yoga yet. I am doing exercises for my neck to strengthen it. I miss it so much.

Everyone is different. Maybe not all people have problems quitting the med. Maybe people on this site are the minority. Yes, it is sad to read the pain people are going through. But at the same time is a relief to have an explanation to the symptoms I am having.

Today I have felt anger and rage. I feel I have no patience. I am overeacting.

How are you???

[UnitedWeCan]

I think we should all unite so our voice can be heard. The only way we can make a difference is to put all our stories together and send them to everyone who has resources and power to help us. Please send your name, phone #, address and story to pamward36@hotmail.com.

The pills are by weight not by bead count. You will notice some beads are much larger than others. I am back on full dose because I could not handle side effects either. Sorry I have nothing to offer but neither do most doctors or the company. If we make bring enough attention to it, someone will study the problem and write a protocal.

[UnitedWeCan]

cookie, on 23 September 2010 - 10:02 PM, said:

Hi Karen:
After some dark days surprinsingly today I had a pretty calm day. I woke up feeling fine. (I just hate these mood swings!) I never know what to expect?!?!?!. However I shouldn´t complaint, because I do have calm days, I wished I just knew how to make everyday a "calm day"!. I hope I feel well on the weekend because I have social events to go to.

Wow if you are able to walk 4 miles twice a day you are an athlete!

Thank you SO MUCH for your support!

hugs
cookie

[cookie]

Dear Karen: I just came back from a trip. How are things for you????? My trip was great, I felt good most days, energized, happy, enjoyed things. The only thing is that I burst into tears once. But it is not like the -crying without a reason- people describe on this site. The moment I cried I was actually talking about something that really bothers me. It felt so good to cry (I hadn´t cried for 5 years. It felt that I am getting my emotions back). I was able to walk on a treadmill during the trip. I am down to 5mg now.

[cookie]

Hi Karen!
Nice to hear from you! Great that you were also on a trip. Sorry you broke your baby toe. Thanksgiving dinner sounds fun. It doesn´t matter that you gain 8 pounds, if you enjoyed the food!

It is amazing how I´ve changed my eating habits. I ate super healthy during the trip. I am learning how to make smart choices concerning food.

I started my yoga classes again, my neck bothers me, but yoga class helps me so much with my mood and anxiety, that I rather do it. I am so glad to be down to 5mg. I am still having extreme mood swings, and I am more vulnerable but I keep on enjoying the good days, when I have them. I think I´ll be done by january. Then I will find out if the –weaning slowly method- was worth it or not. I am a little bit scared but also excited.

[cookie]

Hi Karen:

Wow 37th anniversary! Congratulations, that is a long time. It was definitely not the time to be on a diet. I am sure you enjoyed the food.



Yes, my neck is still bothering me, and also my lower back. I´ve noticed I am having pains in different parts of my body. I wake up with a pain on my lungs/chest. But I do not complain because the mental/emotional symptoms have improved.



Are you still walking everyday?

[cookie]

Dear Karen:

I am sorry to hear that you are not walking everyday because your toe hurts too much. I hope the new bike is a solution and option to exercise without pain.



Last week was one of the hardest week since I started weaning. I am down to 5mg. Things are getting tougher. The physical pain and discomfort is unbelievable (remember I took the medication for depression not fibromyalgia). I spent the whole week with severe flu-like symptoms, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, anxiety. All I want to do is lay down in bed. Last yoga class I felt terrible, I suddenly felt that I was being torn in 2, and dizziness. So I couldn´t go to yoga class the rest of the week. It makes me very upset not being able to exercise, because exercise was an option to the antidepressant decrease. I have a new symptom: I eat and I feel like vomiting.



I will have to do very tiny drops from now on (maybe 2 or 3 beads at a time). I have to feel well for christmas gatherings with family and friends.

[cookie]

Dear Karen:

Did you try your bike??? With a shoe on??



It is shocking to hear that you are not back to normal with memory and comprehending and that you say wrong words all the time. I do not remember the name of people, places and things.



I never had PMS. Since I started weaning I am having really bad PMS. I cannot function. So it seems that the emotional and physical pain I am having is related to the part of the menstrual cycle I am at. I hope this goes away soon.



Thank you for being there

[cookie]

Hi Karen:

I am sorry that you started to feel pins and needles in your feet after 20 minutes of riding the bike L . At least it is not as painful as waking on your feet. I hope it gets better.



I hope the cognitive issues get better for you. It must be very upseting not remembering what people said or trying to figure out what someone is saying. It is shocking to hear that you see people that you know and you have no clue who they are. That hasn´t happened to me. My trouble is finding words to talk.



I had body temperature problems when I started weaning but now anymore.



My Sunday and Monday were the most horrible days I´ve had since started weaning. The darkness and despair was unbelievable. But the moods swings are also unbelievable. Today I feel fine, calm, no physical pain. I guess yoga has so much to do with it.

[pamela]

Cookie and Karen,

I just read through each and every one of your posts to one another. You forged a wonderful friendship out of this nightmarish experience. It was really nice to see.

Cookie- you and I have emailed a few times about weaning. I was having such terrible withdrawals dropping so quickly that I had to go back up in dosage just to be able to function. I am going to follow yours (and so many others) suggestions and go SLLLOOOWWW.

I counted my pills this morning and I have 370 (YES 370) 30mg pills. That should be enough. I am back up to 20mg a day. I dropped from 30 to probably about 10 or 15 and started having terrible side effects. I also have a RX for prozac that I heard can help with the withdrawal. I feel like a failure to some degreee for having to go back up in dosage but I could barely function and I have to be able to live.

How are you doing on your 5mg?

Pam

[pamela]

karen, on 01 December 2010 - 06:21 PM, said:

Hi, Pam

Sorry you were having such a rough time and had back up a bit in your dosage, but DON'T feel like a failure! No one ever should feel that way with this horrible drug! I had it easy, but I was always prepared to back up if I had needed to since I was weaning rather fast. I was just so impatient and wanted to get it over with since I didn't have many withdrawal symptoms and knew I had a cruise planned in November.

If you can get your hands on some prozac, I've read notes from people that have said it helped them. It sounds like you've got lots of cymbalta to work with. Take your time and listen to your body. Hang in there!!

Karen

Thanks Karen......this does suck. There's no other word for it.
I have been on 60mg, often 90mg if I felt like I needed it. Been on this drug for 4 1/2 years. I have been on nearly every antidepressant out there and this one has BY FAR kicked my butt more than any others. I even got off Paxil cold turkey.

I do have in my possession 20mg Prozac, 30 pills with 1 refill. I am going to go the SLOW route and take out a few beads each week. I feel like a drug dealer when I am scoring them into lines.
I think that I am going to save the Prozac for the last few weeks when I hear it's the toughest.
I am glad to hear success stories such as yourself so that I know there's a light ahead.

It's wonderful to hear that you have recovered from this drug.
All my best,

Pam

[cookie]

Dear Pam and Karen:

Yes, it´s been nice to make new friendships, and give and receive support from others. I am learning a lot through others people´s experiences.

You do not have to feel like a failure for having to go back up. During my process, I´ve found that I rather do very small drops, than making one big drop and feeling bad –all the time-. Actually there have been times in which I couldn´t do a drop, and had to stay at a certain drop for a longer time than I planned until my symptoms subside. To tell you the truth, I do not know if I am going to suffer full withdrawals once I am completely off the med, but at least the journey to zero would not be as painful as if I had reduced very fast.

Karen is a success story. As you see, not everybody suffers withdrawals equally..

Concerning my 5mg, my Sunday and Monday were horrible, the worst days I´ve had since I started weaning, full depression, darkness, despair. Then from Tuesday on, I´ve felt well.

I totally agree on not adding anything (Prozac) until you need it or when things get toughest



KAREN:

Pam is right, it´s so nice to know that there is someone to talk to and who cares.

I am also glad that you got the bike. It doesn´t matter for how long you ride the bike at the beginning. You can always put yourself small objectives and keep on increasing.

Good that you are able to handle body temp problems.

After rough Monday, things are so much better. I have felt well emotinally!!! and have been able to do my yoga which is not only exercise, but also a way to be in contact with people