[CathyH]

i'm at day 11 and i'm so miserable I can't stand it. Feel on the vergae of the hospital. I cant' even talk about it anymore, but it's all I can think aboiut. I'm such a mess. I don't think I even felt this bad when I was in the hospital before. I have never known so much mental and emotional anguish. It's unbearable.

I did a no no tonight, and took a vicodin. I just ccouldn't stand it. I feel a wee bit better--was then able to at least make some scrambled eggs to get some food in me. Don't know if it will stay down. The jury is stil out on that one.

Help please.

[schmb01]

Cathy, I take Oxycodone for pain related to a medical condition, and I think maybe it did help with some of the sharper edges of my withdrawal, although I still had the huge emotional swings. It may have been what helped me avoid some of the stomach issues, not sure. If you are prescribed it for something, and don't have a tenedency to overuse/abuse it, then taking one now and then shouldn't be a problem.

I know you are struggling, and I wish just words could help you. They help I know, but when you are at that misery point, it still feels miserable. Please, don't take any risks, if you need to go to the hospital, or call someone for medical help, then do it. You can't compare what you are feeling to what others are feeling, we are all different, and our bodies will respond differently to stopping this drug. Success stories are to give you hope, not to make you feel like you are failing at this. Use them to help you hang on, but DON'T be afraid to ask for help. You may need another med to help you through this too.

I wish I could make this go away with the wave of a wand or something, it makes me angry and sad to read what this crap has done, and is doing to all of us.

Take care of YOU Cathy, and use whatever resources that are available to help you out.

Babby

[iliao93]

Cathy, how are you today? I wanted to be sure you you checked out http://www.theroadback.org/index.htm
when you can. the title of the book is:How to Get Off Psychiatric Drugs Safely and is available on the site entirly free!
The site is run by The Road Back International !
When you are able give it a look I think it might help.
Hope you are better today and I will be looking for an update from you.
Hang in there and as TRB Int. says there is hope, there is help!

[CathyH]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am doing a little better today. I replaced my afternoon and evening klonopin with vicodin. Just two doses. I have vicodin for osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia, which don't tend to cause me alot of pain, so I've always got extra. I don't even take it as prescribed ( one pill twice a day). There are many days I don't take it at all. I don't know why I'm defending this. Maybe because I feel somewhere inside that it is wrong to do that, but I'm also doing what i have to do to get through. I just can't stand that level of misery.

I knew I was in for a rough ride, getting off this med, but I never saw that much misery coming. I had no idea a person could be that miserable. I don't think I was even that miserable when I've been hospitalized before. Only one word describes it best: Hell.

Today has been a little better. I was able to get my house straightened up a bit, and even made a simple meal. It felt like a huge accomplishment as i haven't been able to do that lately. But I'm not pushing it--I'm done for the day. I've had my shower, and am now going to do lots of nothing. Although I've discovered doing nothing is sometimes worse. But it feels okay today.

Up until the last couple of days, I've been so full of committment and determination about getting off this drug. Now I can't even muster a hurray. Just trying to put one foot in front of the other without doing any major damage to myself or others.

I can see now what I've read others describing. I didn't really know until now. I mean, some of it, yeah. But not this total mind whatever you want to call it. I don't even know what to call it.

Sorry this is so lengthy. Thank you all again for the kind words and encouragement. I'm still going to keep going, although I'm not terrribly excited about it at this point. But if I caved now, this would all be for nothing. I can't do that.

One question: Could this be the peak, and now I'm on the downslide? I get the impression that the withdrawal gets worse day by day, peaks, and then starts to get better a little at a time. Am I right? God, please help me be right.

CathyH

[Genealogizer]

CathyH, I hope for your sake you're right. However- After a month of tapering, I was switched to 20 mg of Prozac, because I simply could not bear it. I am totally off Cymbalta (for two weeks now) and if I do not take the Prozac on schedule, back come the zaps, although less intense. I have regained my ability to focus, the mood swings and flu symptoms have abated. Before I was switched to Prozac, I too dug into my medicine cabinet- I had hydrocodone from a dentist visit last year, and I was SO glad it was there. Since Prozac, I haven't needed it at all. I have changed my mind about tapering off Prozac as planned; I think now, after having read more about the half-life of Cymbalta, I will wait at least another month before I think about it. Coolly assuming that one can do anything, all it takes is sticktoitiveness, has gone right out the window as far as I'm concermed. I am NOT Iron Woman!

[CathyH]

I can't get my saddistic freaking doctor to prescribe me Prozac, although I know HE knows it helps. He has to know--it's a widely known thing. I don't believe for one second that he isn't aware. Right now, I hate his freaking guts. And I have to see the f*cker tomorrow morning. Please excuse my aggresiveness, but I'd like to rip his face off and shove it up his ass.

I hope I'm right too. I'm waiting for someone to hopefully post that this damn thing peaks and then gradually starts to get better. I really hope that's the case. I don't expect never to have bad days, but I'd like to at least get a break between them.

I just want to feel some happiness and contentment again. Even a little. I don't expect everything to be rainbows and flowers all the time, but PLEASE GOD, not so much misery.

[Genealogizer]

Gah. Not a good visual there....! Would it help if you used my post as an example of what a difference Prozac can make? You are very welcome to print it & take it in with you. In fact there are several other people with the same sort of reaction. I haven't eliminated the issues that cause depression, just want to switch to a different med with fewer side effects.

[CathyH]

I will try to get to that link and read. I'm having a bit of trouble reading right now. My concentration is bad, and retention is worse. But I will try. Thanks for the info.

Today is starting out okay. My husband layed a huge bomb on me last night, so I'm trying to deal with that. I just can't believe he has done this when he knows i'm struggling so much. I guess life doesn't stop just because I'm in pain.

CAthyH

[Genealogizer]

CathyH, how did your doctor visit go? I've checked twice this AM- we're concerned.
For info and to add to your reasons to give your doctor - if you haven't gone already:
-switching to Prozac has enabled me to organize my pantry, with labels and all. I try to do this annually before hurricane season, to be sure the basics are in stock, as we live in FL. Come to find out, since I started Cymbalta, I hadn't done it at all, for three years. And that's even before I started withdrawal. Yet another example of Cymbalta's perfidy! Seriously - now that I am out of it somewhat, I can see that I've been pretty much in a foggy state of mind since starting C.

[schmb01]

Cathy, for me, it was like 2 weeks of pure hell, then, something clicked, and I started some mild cleaning around the house, started to READ again, (that was big, I had a years worth of Reader's Digest collecting dust!) and then it slowly, each day got better, and I never went back to the pure hell again. I still had some rough moments, my nightmares were vivid, but even those started to ease with each day. The think I noticed the most, was that first click of mental clarity, like the fog lifted, and that felt so good, that even the other discomfort, like aches and pains and moodiness didn't seem so bad. Feeling more clear headed helped me deal better with those things.

Don't feel bad about taking your vicodin. You have been prescribed it, and unless you are taking 5 or 6 a day, or taking it to get a buzz, it should be okay as an occasional thing. Yes, you have to be cautious with any narcotic, but again, you aren't doing it to get high, but to get by. (no rhyme intended)

Now that you are noticing some positive things, stay focused on those, and maybe even write down what happens that is good, and hopefully that will shift your focus away from the nasties.

We are all pulling for you, and for each other, so remember that we are here for you.

Babby

[CathyH]

Hey guys......Had my appt. The first thing he did was address the Prozac issue, and he called me "fool hardy" for wanting it. I told him very calmly that I would not be accepting insults, as I am not in any shape. He did change his tune. We talked about what happened before, when he pulled his support out from under me. I told him about my trust issues, and that i felt sad, because I had always thought he was a good doc. I've been with him for 5 years now. We ended up talking it out. I'm feeling better about it, save the Prozac part.

Here's the predicament I'm in right now: My husband informed me last night that he has cheated on me, very recently, and that his job was in jeopardy because of it. Huge blow considering the rough shape I am in. This morning, he called the hospital where he works, to find out what they were going to do, and they terminated him. I'm going from numb to disbelief, back to numb.

The reason I'm sharing such personal info is because I feel this directly affects what i'm trying to do with the Cymbalta. I need to be my absolute strongest right now, and I'm just not, because of the withdrawals. I don't know what to do with it at this point. I don't know if I have some inner reserve of strength that I have not yet tapped into--that would be nice.

I'm going to try to keep on with getting off this drug. I just don't know what is going to happen. I hate it that what has happened has compromised that I am trying to do something good for myself. I don't even want to consider going back on, but that may be a reality. I just don't know yet. I want to hang on, and will if I can. I will go as far as I can, and hopefully it will be all the way, and a success.

Safe hugs to everyone,
CathyH

[CathyH]

I have to be gone for awhile, going to a counselling appt. Then home for a much needed nap. Obviously, I didn't sleep very well last night. Will be on later.

[emoboy44]

CathyH said:

Hey guys......Had my appt. The first thing he did was address the Prozac issue, and he called me "fool hardy" for wanting it. I told him very calmly that I would not be accepting insults, as I am not in any shape. He did change his tune. We talked about what happened before, when he pulled his support out from under me. I told him about my trust issues, and that i felt sad, because I had always thought he was a good doc. I've been with him for 5 years now. We ended up talking it out. I'm feeling better about it, save the Prozac part.

Here's the predicament I'm in right now: My husband informed me last night that he has cheated on me, very recently, and that his job was in jeopardy because of it. Huge blow considering the rough shape I am in. This morning, he called the hospital where he works, to find out what they were going to do, and they terminated him. I'm going from numb to disbelief, back to numb.

The reason I'm sharing such personal info is because I feel this directly affects what i'm trying to do with the Cymbalta. I need to be my absolute strongest right now, and I'm just not, because of the withdrawals. I don't know what to do with it at this point. I don't know if I have some inner reserve of strength that I have not yet tapped into--that would be nice.

I'm going to try to keep on with getting off this drug. I just don't know what is going to happen. I hate it that what has happened has compromised that I am trying to do something good for myself. I don't even want to consider going back on, but that may be a reality. I just don't know yet. I want to hang on, and will if I can. I will go as far as I can, and hopefully it will be all the way, and a success.

Safe hugs to everyone,
CathyH

I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I know that "hang in there" doesn't mean s*it, but really hang in there. If your husband is truly sorry for what he did, things will get better and he will support you in your current situation. If not, healing will be better without him. God, that sucks.

jr

[Sarah J]

Cathy,
You are not fool hardy. And this has to be a terrible time for you to be going through everything. Get a new doctor ASAP.

I have seen three different shrinks and my GP in the past month and asked them how they would take somebody off of Cymbalta. Here is the unanimous reply from all of them:

Cymbalta withdrawal - yes, it happens in about 10% of the patients. We switch them over to 5 days of Prozac which will help them get over the side effects. Then we watch them to see if there really is a "return of depression".

They fully acknowledged that this does happen, but their take is that it is rare. So here is the down/upside. You could in fact have a chemical imbalance. I actually found out that I do have an imbalance, and it is one that antidepressants are not used for as a first course of action.

It is hard because you and everybody else who ends up here is in distress. So distressed are we that we "sound" like we are depressed, when we are experiencing something that DOES happen, just to about 2 of every eight people.

Run, do not walk to another doctor. Find out what their policy is on dealing with Cymbalta discontinuation syndrome BEFORE you even make that appointment. Make sure that you use the words "discontinuation syndrome" to the doctors and staff on the phone, because they are trained not to see it as withdrawal. If they acknowledge this apparently rare (but not to us) horrid thing that happens to us when we come off of Cymbalta on the phone, you will know that you are in better hands than where you are now.

My best to you and everybody else. Oh yeah, I have been off of Cymbalta since January and off of Celexa since April. Antidepressant free for over three months - chemical imbalance - for me yes, but not one that needs antidepressants!!!!

The whole process for me to find out "what is going on with me" has taken me many hours and has not been easy. Several times I wanted to give up, but I knew that something wasn't right. Do not stop until you get the answers you need, research, research and more research. Be your own advocate and leave that piss ant doctor.

Because we are female (sorry guys) we are easily sterotyped into being "depressed" and slapped with antidepressants. Make detailed records of everything that is happening to you. How you feel is how you feel and should never be dismissed.

[iliao93]

Oh Cathy, what a time your having, I'm sending cyber hugs your way !
Don't do anything or make any decisions in haste, take your time to digest what your going through to get over the shock and hurt. I don't presume to know anything about your marrage but have a few thought's in general.
None of us, as I'm sure you know are perfect and we are after all human. Men react to stressful situations very strangely!
If you have a good marrage and the love is there then you two can weather this stormy spot. Try to keep the lines of communication open and deal with things in small steps. Your having to deal with so many pressures all at the same time just isn't fair I know. Try to keep in mind(I know it's close to impossible) your husband didn't mean to do this to you. If he had been thinking of anyone other than himself he wouldn't have done it at all. I know it feels like he has been inconciderate and selfish but sometimes that's just the male reaction to feeling helpless and not in control...he can't fix you!
You need all the support you can muster...I hope people here can take up the slack and be your support system for now.
I do understand, my husband seems to withdraw at the same pace I need him to help me. He acts like he just isn't interested in what I am going through. I am beginning to understand that for so long with my illness and med problems that it's been all about me! I've just come to that realization these past few days on this board and writing to you.
For that I am greatful, it doesn't immediately fix anything but I have managed to get out of myself and start to view things from another view besides my own.
That is all I have time or energy for right now, sorry if there are spelling mistakes or if I haven't made much sense. I'm feeling really lousy and can't get in to my doc until the end of the month. Also I sure don't know what reaction I'm facing when I present him with all this info on Cymbalta. The last time I told him it wasn't working he upped my dose and told me it was the best there was. Grrrrr......
Bobbie

[schmb01]

Cathy, my God, what a load you have been handed! Listen to Sarah, she has experienced hell with doctors, and found one that finally listened to her. My concern for you, if you feel the need for something, is that Cymbalta could maybe make things worse. Since you haven't been taking it, it may not make you feel better, and could really do a number on your seratonin levels, making it even worse than what you are feeling right now.

I know you have been with this doc for a long time, and have a "relationship", so to speak, but you really need a different set of eyes and ears on this. Those that have gone the Prozac route seem to have done extremely well, and I can't help but think that there is someone out there that will listen to you and let you try it. It seems far safer than Cymbalta, and I would hope it will give you some mental clarity to help you deal with your personal situation. I know you likely don't have much energy to deal with this, but heck, if you want to PM me the city that you live in, I'll even make some calls for you.

I can't even presume to offer advice to you on that front, but I will say that I am so sorry that you have to deal with it. Are you in a position to stay with a family member or close friend to give you some space to sort through things?

I know you don't "know" any of us, but I think you can tell from these responses that we want the best for you, and want to help you through this. My thoughts are with you dear, and my ears are here.

Babby

[Cymbalta Survivor]

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I don't know if that helps or not. But I promise that I will.

[CathyH]

Houdi......Your words make me want to dance around the room. You said "You are being very strong. You are getting through, one damn day at a time. You are in the thick of the worst, and you are doing it. How many days has it been? Those are all days that are gone forever. GONE.....DONE......HANDLED. Days you did it."

(Can ya tell I don't have this "quote" thing down yet?)

Day 14 in 24 minutes: GONE....DONE.....HANDLED. Three of the most beautiful words I've ever heard. Your right. I'm not quitting. Not for anyone or anything. I've done 14 DAYS.

I felt some peace come over me today, and found some strength I didn't know I had. THIS IS MY LIFE, AND I'M NOT TRASHING IT FOR ANYONE. I'M GONNA LIVE IT, AND LIVE IT WELL. I'M GONNA RUN ON THE BEACH IN MY NIGHTGOWN, AT NIGHT, AND I'M GONNA LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT. (have i mentioned the beach story?)

I know I probably sound like a lunatic, but I don't care. I'M TIRED OF GETTING BEAT DOWN, AND TAKING IT. THAT'S MY PART IN IT, IS THAT I TAKE IT, AND I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT. BUT I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ANYMORE. NO MORE.

If Bob (my husband) is on-board, then lets go. If he isn't, then move aside. If my doc won't help me, so be it. I'll do it anyway. Even if i get really miserable again, I'll still do it.

Is this normal to go from dragging my face behind me to dancing around the room just two days time? My guess is probably. I'll take the dancing when I can get it, and even if I can't, I'll dance anyway.

Now I know I sound like a lunatic.

[CathyH]

Hey everyone......I'm doing pretty good this morning, and man, am I grateful. It's blowing my mind a little, considering how my withdrawals had been going, and then all this blow up in my personal life. Today, my head feels clearer, I feel stronger, more balanced, more centered. It's day 14 now.

I have an idea of what happened to cause this much needed turn around: I think I may have turned a corner with the withdrawals, and I think I found that inner strength I was looking for. Yesterdays blow out caused me to dig really deep to find that strength.

I realize that this is probably not over and done with, that I may have more bad days, but if I get a reprieve like this sometimes, that is certainly fine with me.

You guys have been wonderful to me. I so appreciate the caring and concern, and the opportunity to say what I need to say and let it out.

CathyH

[Sarah J]

CathyH said:

Hey everyone......I'm doing pretty good this morning, and man, am I grateful. It's blowing my mind a little, considering how my withdrawals had been going, and then all this blow up in my personal life. Today, my head feels clearer, I feel stronger, more balanced, more centered. It's day 14 now.

I have an idea of what happened to cause this much needed turn around: I think I may have turned a corner with the withdrawals, and I think I found that inner strength I was looking for. Yesterdays blow out caused me to dig really deep to find that strength.

I realize that this is probably not over and done with, that I may have more bad days, but if I get a reprieve like this sometimes, that is certainly fine with me.

Cathy - my heart just breaks for you and I am sure yours is breaking as well. The "reprieves" in the withdrawal process are good. You might be over the hump and almost done with this. Please, if your doctor is an ass, find another one, even if you don't need to go to that appointment. It will be your "ace in the hole" if you do find that you aren't feeling better soon. In case the crap hits the fan again, you will have a plan in place and somebody to work with.

Or a talk therapist. I know it costs money and is a pain in the ass. But look at it this way, once you are feeling better, you will be able to function better, get stuff done, feel better and then you can deal with paying for it. I'm not encouraging anybody to go into debt or anything, but aren't you worth it? Isn't a quality life worth it? Never stop trying.

I have been off of antidepressants for over 3 months now - living proof that it can be done. I'll spare you the details, it has been expensive and really a hard ride. But I know I am worth it and so are you and everybody else. Doing this alone if you are having a difficult time is brutal, none of us deserves to suffer.

Please, even if you don't go, find another doctor with compassion that can help you through this, even if you don't want/need medication. Do not settle for more bad days. My best to all of you guys.

[CathyH]

Sarah.....Thank you so much for your compassion. It has been rough, and then the blow out with my husband. But its okay. I believe it's going to be okay. Maybe the worst of this is over, maybe not. That's the tough part, not really knowing. I just have to take it as it comes.

I totally get your point about the new doctor, and I believe that is what I need to do. I just can't quite do it right now. So much on my plate. Me and the doc did work out some issues at my appt yesterday. He did seem to come around about some stuff, and listened (I felt) when I told him I had trust issues with him now. He explained to me that he has to give me his side and his take on things too. I get that, and that is how it should be. It's not a one way street. But the fact that he wouldn't give me prozac still blows my mind. From how he talked, it sounded like he really didn't know about this, that this would help. I didn't argue, just listened. I'm at peace with the fact that I will have to do this without prozac. I really have no choice at this point, and I know it can be done. Hell, I've been doing it for two weeks not without prozac, and I'm still kicking and sucking air. I mean no disrespect of your opinion. Please don't take it that way.

I had a counselling appt yesterday, too. My husband went with me. It was a very explosive and heated and emotion-filled appt, as my husband and I had not yet discussed what had happened. Way too fresh yet. Way. I do feel it's going to work out. Whatever has happened, my husband and i have a lot of love between us.

[iliao93]

Cathy, I applaude your great attatude!
This is just a suggestion, and btw what I am doing for my doc visit. Try printing some of the info here about the use of Prozac and withdrawl to take with you to your next visit. It might help and if nothing else you have made an attempt to help your doc to inform himself. I'm also printing info from The Road Back web site to take my doc .
Your doing great so give yourself a big hug and maybe a nice long relaxing bubble bath !
All my dizzy best,
Bobbie

[CathyH]

Hey Bobbie......Thanks for the vote of confidence. I mean no disrespect, but i have to say I've kind of given up on the doctor thing. I've made it 14 days with no prozac, and am just resigned to getting through this without it. I think I can do it (here's hoping). I have another month until I see the doc again, and by then, I will hopefully have the worst behind me. I do have my klonopin (prescribed), and that does help with the zaps, and also calming me down. I have a panic disorder, and it breaks through even the klonpin, but is much more managable. I refuse to up the dosage of the klonopin, even tho doc will do it, because then i am way overmedicated, and that is what i'm trying to get away from.

I'm like ultra exhausted today, so I think I will give myself that big hug, and then hit the sack after I pick up my son from work at 2.

[schmb01]

Cathy, it sounds like you finally hit the point that I did, where you got some clarity, and actually felt some rational feelings again. It wasn't over yet, there were some bumps with sleeping and just feeling like crap overall from time to time, but you might just be past the horrid mental meltdown stage. Once I got beyond that, I really managed okay with Omega 3 supplements, eating better, and just laying low.

You are right, you dug deep and found that inner strength to forge on, and I wish you all the best as you move forward in healing not only yourself, but your relationship too. Life is ugly sometimes, but the upside is, at least you are FEELING something. I am dealing with health issues of my own, and those of aging parents, and even though being "deadened" with antidepressants might help some, I have found a new appreciation for at least having normal feelings of happiness, sadness, anger and frustration. We are meant to feel them. I wouldn't go back to being a Cymbalta drugged Zombie for any amount of money.

Again, best of luck to you, and keep coming here on good and bad days. It really does help others so see what we have all been through, and what we have overcome.

[Attorney_Victim]

Cathy,
I'm so glad to hear you that you are doing better!! You are a "survivor!" Even if you have another bad day, at least you now can see that it does get easier!! All of us here are survivors, and we should all give ourselves a lot of credit. Someday (hopefully soon), the whole world will know how bad Cymbalta is and how strong all of us are to have survived it!!

[CathyH]

((((((((Hey guys))))))) You are all so terrific!! I'm so grateful to have found you all.

I do feel like I've hit a point where I've found some clarity, some solid ground, even though the withdrawals continue. The emotional meltdown was the absolute worst. I didn't know one could survive such misery. I hope I have rounded some corner, and that it won't get that bad again. But even if it does, I will somehow get through. I did it before (with much help and support), and I can do it again.

Bob committed himself to go through a semi-inpatient kind of psych ward program. They put him on Celexa right away (?). He had become suicidal, and I had to call his brothers wife to come get all the guns and ammo and take it away (he's a hunter). I've told him the same things that were said here: He has to be able to figure out what's wrong, acknowlege it, before he can even begin to fix it. He is in that process now. I pray for the best. I'm believing for the best. But I don't want to rescue him, either. He has to FEEL the effects of what he has done. That doesn't mean I wish suffering on him. As much pain as I am in over it, I still have a hard time seeing how much pain he is in. But if he doesn't feel it and see it and see the damage he has done, he may be likely to do it again, and I can't even go there right now.

Since my recent euphoria (dancing and M&M's and nightgown beaching), I've had a lot of mood swings. It's been an up and down day and a half. But not nearly as bad as the total emotional head f*ck, when all I could do was pull my ass behind me in a wagon and hang on this computer praying for an encouraging word (and they came, thanks to you guys). I've had some small crying spells, some anger and aggression (never knew coffee cups could fly, huh?), pain of course, and EXHAUSTION. I feel like I could sleep for days. Combination of withdrawals and husbands shit bomb, I'm sure. Zaps (not too bad), balance issues, and something new: Everything I'm hearing sounds as if it's coming through a tin can. Annoying, but certainly not earth shattering. Anyway, I'm getting through. Oh, and I feel like bugs are crawling on me, especially when I'm sitting still.

I actually READ some last night. That hasn't happened since May, right before my ECT series (that sucked--Please don't anyone ever do it). That was a breakthrough for me.

Sooooo.......I'm anticipating more lunatic moments, more kitchen dancing, maybe some nightgown beaching (this time with a bra--sorry guys), more M&M eating, taking the advise of the ice cream eating, rocking my car out so much that it annoys other drivers (sorry if you're one of them), earring and perfume buying, purple eye shadow and tie dye shirt wearing.

Day 15: I AM NO LONGER ON CYMBALTA. THE CYMBALTA TAKING IS OVER. I may still be experiencing some withdrawals, and I may not be on that other side yet, but I AM NO LONGER A CYMBALTA TAKER.

CathyH

[schmb01]

Yay Cathy!! I think you are past the point of temptation to take this shit again, and that in itself is HUGE!! You have expressed your thoughts and feelings very well, and that too is HUGE! Take note of these things, they are things to put on your list of accomplishments, and sure signs that you are on your way out of this dark tunnel.

I'm sorry that Bob is having such a rough time, and that you are having to contend with it, but, I am so impressed with your attitude about it. You are on your way, and you have shown that you are a strong woman! I'm very proud of you!

Babby

[iliao93]

Yea Cathy, your doing a fantastic job, way to go!
Sorry I haven't posted sooner to you, I forgot to take "my poison" dose day before yesterday and needless to say I had a very bad day yseterday. I can't wait to be off this junk, but I am stressed out about it at the same time. I don't see my doc until the last day of this month so I have to wait and keep on until then. I have a feeling it might be rough as I have been taking it so long! I am amazed with myself that I managed to get it down from 90 to 30 in just 2 months. But the horrid way I feel if I forget to take that 30 is just plain excruciating. For me the worst symptoms are feeling so weak(#1), crying over everything and anything(#2) and the brain zaps. The neausia, lack of appetite, agitation and insomnia just make all the rest even harder to manage. The thing that really tops it for me is that I am taking care of my 84 yo Mom who had dementia! Not the Alzheimer type but what you get from years of alcahol abuse. We took her out of the NH to live with us about 3 yrs ago.
I'm not sorry we did but it just makes dealing with all this harder. But then as you well know the world and life don't just stop and cater to us just because we are fighting our dragons!
Well, enough of that, so glad you are gaining on your battles and winning the war is in your sights!
Bobbie

[schmb01]

Bobbie, you will have an added challenge for sure in caring for your Mom. I don't know what your plans are, but perhaps discussing with the doc using Prozac to help you wean off of Cymbalta would be helpful. It does seem to help some folks here with the worst of the emotional stuff.

I understand your being nervous, so be sure to take notes here, or print some of what you have read, and go prepared to talk to your doctor about methods to make this easier for you. You are right, life doesn't stop, yet you have to think of coming off of this crap as recovering from an illness in some ways, and be prepared to have people help and support you, because you do have a lot on your plate in caring for your Mom.

I was on Effexor for over a year, and then Cymbalta for roughly the same period of time, so I was 2 years total on these meds, and I understand what you mean by being on it for so long. The thing is, for some, it doesn't matter how long they were on it, some people have a really rough time after only having taken it for a couple of months. It is that powerful.

Just know that there are people still posting that have made it through, and we will be here to help you when it is your time.

Babby

[iliao93]

Thank you Babby, I sure planned to get off, and still do after I take some printed info to my doc. This is the fourth anti he tried on me. We went the Prozac and Celexa route before this and one other I can't recall at the moment. I ended up with side effects on them all sooner or later. He just refused to try anything else once he gave me Cymbalta! All together I have been taking anti's for about 8/10 years now and my life has just become progressively worse! I have finally had my "aha" in realizing I need to get off.
I'm so glad I have found this board, I use to just stick to the FM boards as that is my main issue. When I started weaning myself from the Cymbalta over a several month period I realized it was going to be not so easy!
I was a full fledged "Hippy" back in the day and this is the worst drug I have ever encountered. I have been on 100 mg. of Kadian a day for years and weaned myself way down from it with hardly any problems, and it was the one I thought would be hard(LOL) a piece of cake in comparison.
Thank's again for your input Babby!