[katiemac]

I've been suffering from depression and anxiety since I was about 12 years old. It wasn't until my family found out about my self-harming at the age of 15 that I was able to get actual medical help, a proper diagnosis and support. I have been on varying amounts of prozac side then, until about 6 months ago when I began to notice that regardless of the dosage, it just wasn't working the way it used to. My mood dropped severely, after a 2 year period of being completely self-harm free, I started again, life once again became that bleak misery that I had previously associated with my high school years, and my college marks went from high As to Ds and Fs. It was then recommended by my counsellor and my college's doctor that I try using Cymbalta, as they had both been hearing good things about this drug and its effects on other students they were treating. At this point I was desperate, so I excitedly agreed to begin taking this new drug. I wanted my life back. I wanted to be able to create art again and enjoy my classes, and Cymbalta seemed to be the ticket back to normal.

Starting was hell. I got to experience the joys of basically every side effect listed on Eli Lilly's cute little write up, and several that weren't. I was having doubts, maybe this wasn't going to work the way I had been told. My mother is a pharmacist, so I trolled any resources I could get my paws on to read up on the drug. Lo and behold, I stumbled upon this little gem of a website. The panic began to set in, but I continued to take Cymbalta daily as prescribed (60 mg). Over the winter break, I traveled home to spend my holidays with the family. My mum immediately noticed I was acting off, despite having been on Cymbalta for well over 6 weeks. I was over sleeping, then cycling through bouts of insomnia. Then my prescription ran out. It started with pins and needles in my left hand. It spread to the rest of my left side, then began on my right. Headaches, brain snaps, bouts of anger and even physical violence (I have never been a violent person, this scared the hell out of me). Luckily I was able to get a refill, but I knew then that this drug had way too much of a hold on me. I resolved to get off of it as soon as possible.

I feel so cheated. I already lost a semester to depression, and now I can see that through withdrawing from this stupid drug, I'm about to lose another, possibly more... And I'm sure everyone here knows that post-secondary schooling isn't cheap. My professors and department head have been made aware of my situation, but there are only so many strings they can pull. And living several hours away from my family, the only real support I have are a few friends who I'm sure have enough problems without me throwing mine into the mix.

To summarize, I am in the process of taking myself off of Cymbalta, I have made an appointment to discuss this with the prescribing doctor, but I am not too sure how receptive he will be to the idea. Any advice, suggestions or support would be greatly appreciated. I'm only 20 and I want to live my life and create art again.....even if lately I'd rather just curl up under a rock a die.

[Jenni]

Hello. You poor thing. Definitely get your doctor's support to come off it. Go to him with print outs of your research. Let's face it, he is going to give more weight to a more academic website/research paper than he will to this site. We are not scientific! Also, rehearse what you are going to say to him. Rehearse it out loud, preferably with a friend. Don't assume that he is going to be against you - nobody bothered going through med school just for a job at the end. Ask him what the alternatives are to Cymbalta. You may not get the same side-effects from a different drug.

My father is someone who gets every side effect under the sun from any medication he ever takes. He accidentally went cold turkey from Effexor because he went overseas on holiday and forgot his medicine bag (including heart meds, blood pressure meds and Effexor). He says that he had two days of feeling pretty bad and then was fine. So, while nobody would ever advise going cold turkey on any meds, some people don't get the awful side effects. Chances are that those people don't feeel the need to Google until they find this website so we never hear about them. I didn't look for support until I was about to go from 30 to zero (I started out at 90) because I felt a bit rough but could cope ok.

It is possible,under the appropriate specialist supervision, to go from Cymbalta on to a different drug with no tapering off. It might be bumpy but more manageable. I am thinking of fluoxetine as I know that can be done.

Don't write off all meds as one way of helping you with your long term depression. I come from a family of depressives and was first treated for anxiety when I was 18 and a student. You do deserve to enjoy life. Keep nagging your doctor for help

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