[julbug]

Weaned off 60mg, slowly. Counted pellets. Been off 'C' since SuperBowl. Rage..Rage..angry at EVERYTHING! BAD brain Zaps! Cant focus..been trying to do a puzzle..something I loved to do..threw it on the floor. Yelled at the dogs..for being dogs. My DR sent me a registered letter stating he no longer could be my DR if I chose to STOP 'C'. I weaned myself. From directions from this site.

Im in a BAD way. I researched how to commit suicide. I cant live with these feelings!!!!!!


This forum gives good ideas. It gives you a place to vent. But I feel NO support! I have replied to others trying to be helpful, since joining this year. WHERES MY SUPPORT? Could someone PLEASE advise where I should seek out better support? Before its too late.
Im so angry. I dont know what at? I've not been an angry person at anytime in my life..

I have no insurance. I have no DR. I dont know what to do.. I got off this drug due to bad effects it was having on my health. I was always tired and unmotivated. As well as it was $170.00 a month. I honestly believed I would be FINE after all the withdrawl.

I wish I were DEAD!

[lilactree]

He julbug, How are you doing now? I'm sorry that you haven't got enough support yet from this site. I really hope you are feeling better.

[thistlelips]

Hey Julbug,
If you think you're going to hurt yourself or hurt someone around you, you've got to get help right away. Call the help line or check yourself into the hospital or something. Your prime job right now is to keep yourself alive and safe until all the poison is out of your body. Just take it day by day, hour by hour. If there's someplace safe you can go and scream and rage and punch and kick in a safe way, that might be a good outlet. My outlit was tae kwan do and brazilian ju-jitsu. Remember that this too will pass. All will be well. You just have to get there. East clean, drink water, take supplements, breathe fresh air, move your body, soak in a tub. Do what you can just to keep going until the syptoms fade.

[Amber0401]

I am hoping u are ok. And hope u will read this at some point. I try to respond to as many as I can but it's hard. I think most come to vent so don't take it personal. As for suicide that is a fine line. My first three weeks were really tough on me. Sometimes I wanted to kick my cat for being herself, punch my bf for touching me, and screaming at ppl. But then there were days where I felt no one cared that if I just died it would all be over. I lost my marriage, my family, and my job in one year. I had no insurance no doctor no one to care about me. I can remember at my lowest sitting in a hot bath drinking a handle I tequila smokin a butt crying saying I just wanted to die. I sat there holding a razor tellin myself I was a chicken if I couldn't do it. I had been raped and molested by family since I was 5 and never dealt with it and that came out during my divorce which led me to lose family. I wan u to know that I really had absolutely no desire to live an I was so disgusted with myself. But I took that moment of not caring and called someone I wasn't even close to. Told them I didn't care anymore and that I wanted someone to know. He immediately came and got me, took me out of that situation, got me help, and is a very loving bf of mine for a year and a half now. Life can really stick it to u trust me I've been thru it. And there are times where everything feels lost. But u would be surprised what even a complete stranger will do for u if ur are that bad off. When u hit that rock bottom pick up the phone and call anyone. Doesn't matter who. Just someone and see the humanity in another person for u. Read this and know that one year all can be lost but next year u can be in love, moved to another state, got a new job, and started over. It's never too late just gotta give it a chance.