[Jenofhearts]

I have been trying very hard to focus on some of the good things that have come about since reducing my dosage, There are not many but I figure why not note a few and maybe it will help on the journey back, maybe some of you can relate and it will help you to focus on the "upside" of all this crap..

1. Nightmares are no longer the violent, apocalyptic, monster filled roller coaster to hell. (wow! talk about weird dreams)
2. I used to always look for the "what's going to happen next" thing, I have now calmed down a bit, and remember that it is a journey and not a destination (felt almost like I had ADD)
3. I can sit in my new Lazy Boy recliner and actually enjoy the feeling of rocking, very soothing, I sit in it often and remind myself it is going to get better.
4. Not quite as flighty as I used to be (fight or flight) I am trying to fight.
5. Now that I know what the hell made me a completely different person my guilt has gone down.
6. Last but not least of course is all the new friends I have made by finding this haven of help, and the knowing I am not alone.

Now, I am sure this will change on a daily basis... so many emotions, don't know where to put them all. I have decided to start a journal to remember the path I am on, I have to, I am a peri-menopausal, still havin bad ass PMS 47 year old woman looking towards feeling like my "old self" again, where did she go??

Remember...try to think of the good in this, post your better seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, or even years here, we all have to have something good come out of all of this.

Jen