Help
Her next idea was Prozac, two weeks later I am maniac again, and I quit again, with her hesitant approval. She puts me on .5 mg Ativan twice daily, which does nothing, so when she insists on putting me on Cymbalta before upping my dose to 1 mg Ativan daily. I agree pointing out the huge list of reasons I don't want it, and pointing out to her that the main reason I am here is to be able to sleep at night, I want to work out my social phobias with a psychologist. She tells me that doesn't work nearly as well, that my life will continue to be miserable if I don't listen to her. Yes I am quoting her there. She told me to my face, as I am crying over my pains and difficulties that's tearing my family apart that "Your life is horrible and it will continue to be horrible unless you do something about it, and this is what you need to do. Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your life?" I had never said my life was horrible - I had insisted I am very happy with my life but not sleeping greatly interferes with my ability to retain information and therefore in school.
The next time I do my research I come to her explaining to her brain zaps, this that, all those issues I am sure everyone here is familiar about. She flat out denies it, she says those are only listed by federal requirements and aren't actually experienced - and I should trust her cause he pharmaceutical rep told her - as she holds a cymbalta clipboard and pen. She scolds me as if I was a misbehaving child (I have never felt so humiliated in my life) and kicks me out of her office unable to even see straight I am so destroyed by how she was treating me. I had to sit in my car in the parking lot for over an hour to calm myself down before I felt able to drive home. The following meeting, I come prepared - I print off the FDA webpage and the Cymablta webpage statistical information in reference to the occurrence of side effects (which agreed with me rather then her) and she tells me she doesn't know who wrote it or if it could have been faked. I instructed her to use her computer in look it up on the URL I had written down and she tells me it's her policy not to use the computer while with a patient. She ups my dosage to 3mg daily, an extremely high dose, and tells me to take it spaced evenly through out the day totally causing me to accidentally OD (as my prescription was so vague) and causing me to be hospitalized. Where the ER doctor told me if what I said was true about just the ativan the doctor was being irresponsible and just trying to get me to stop complaining the cymbalta was causing me problems. My family insisted I desist from taking, but I had been trained to think (I like to use the term brainwashed) that my family was the enemy in this situation, so whilst I agreed with them - their opinion had been reduced to nothing in my eye, a sin in hindsight.
So as I run into her again I tell her I want off the Cymabalta this is why, and I think she is ill-informed. She scolds me again for not trusting her, and reminded me she is the doctor not those random webpages i find or make up myself. And she says no one is making you take this drug, but refused to write me a script to ween me off or give me any of those free sample packets that she had originally given me to ween myself up. I ended up quitting cold turkey and stopped seeing her, on all my drugs. Caused me a great deal of insomnia, but I have been dealing with that since I was little, so I could handle well, and the occasionally dizzy spell but nothing horrific (thank god).
Now I realize that this is an excessively long post, especially for a first time poster it's borderline rude of me to expect the more experienced members to read this and respond, but I feel she endangered my psychological health and fear she may be damaging others using her 'naughty little boy' techniques and playing the I'm the doctor card to cause others pain and harm. So it all simply boils down to this, any advice?
