Finally.
I'm seeing a distant, faint glimmer at the end of a very, very long and dark tunnel.
Thanks in huge part to many of the suggestions posted on these forums, I think I've figured out some kind of convoluted system that works for me. After fighting headaches, nausea, flu-like symptoms, rage, and vertigo for weeks, I've reached a point where I am removing two additional beads each day. That pace seems to agree with my poor, confused brain.
So, for those of you who might want to try something different (who knows? it might work for you), here's my daily routine:
Every morning:
After methodically counting, mis-counting, re-counting (and inevitably re-re-counting) those damn miniscule, poisonous, diabolical white specks of evil incarnate, and then carefully (and with much cursing) shoving them into a gelatin capsule, I gulp it down along with
- 3 x 300mg of choline
- 1/2 tsp of butter oil / fermented cod liver oil -- cinnamon-flavored, praise the lord!
(or 5x 1,250mg fish oil soft gels, depending on my mood and my desire to swallow 1/2 tsp of fermented fish goop)
- 3 x 150mg of L-Theanine (Suntheanine)
- 1 multivitamin.
Diet: I've basically cut sugar and caffeine out completely and am trying to eat as many veggies as I can, especially leafy greens.
No soft drinks. I only drink water, the occasional fresh-squeezed OJ, and herbal tea: lemon balm and/or liver detox.
Also, like some sort of resilient partial-sun perennial, I make sure to get a minimum of 15 mins of direct sunlight every day. Helps with my seasonal affective disorder. If I'm struck by incapacitating laziness, or it happens to be a dreary, overcast day, I use a blue-light therapy lamp for 30 mins.
Most importantly, my exercise regimen: 30 mins of aerobic exercise (65% of maximum heart rate) every day. Let me repeat: I get tragically sweaty for thirty minutes at a time, arms and legs flailing while my heart beats 130 times a minute and my brain second-guesses my every move. And I subject myself to this all-too public humiliation at my gym, in front of disgustingly beautiful, fit, spandex-clad humanoids, seven days a week!
Honestly, after reading about it and finally getting my butt to the gym and experiencing the benefits of vigorously moving my limbs, I think exercise is the single most important thing you can do to get through this. Even better if you can fit in some anaerobic exercise a couple times a week as well. This will really push your body into repair mode like nothing else.
The biology of it all is absolutely fascinating, and I highly recommend Younger Next Year by Chris Crowley and Henry Lodge. If you're not prone to random fits of physical activity of any sort, this book will make you feel like crap... initially... and then it'll make you rush out and buy a heart rate monitor and proceed to do things you never thought you'd want to do as a self-respecting adult. If you're the type who has always been one to engage in physically challenging stuff on a regular basis, well, then, congrats! (and I secretly despise you for your discipline and athletic prowess ,
Now, mind you, all of this may come crashing down on me at any moment and I may return to post a retraction and a sheepish apology, but for now... HURRAY!