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I Am "done"....


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#1 equuswoman

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 09:51 PM

done forever with this poison. The nasty, vile, evil, devil's beads...I am 'done' with it as far as swallowing the 'beads' go. But am I 'really' done? I can't say because I don't really know. I have no idea what the future may bring. I don't know if I will experience any w/d symptoms. However if I do I will deal with them as best I can. I will carry on with my life. I am sad of the injuries inflicted upon my brain by that 'drug' that was supposed to help my LBP due to osteoarthritis. Prescribed to me by my pain management physician. I was not even told of the SE of this drug much less the w/d if stopped quite suddenly. I am a nurse and should have "known" better but didn't...ahhh hind sight is 20/20. The past is history...Life goes on and so do "I"...

 

I did the cold turkey by accident...it sucked. I followed the instructions given me per my pain physician. Dropped from 60mg to 30mg and on day 10 it sucked worse...I found myself knocking on hells door.

I began immediately taking the 60mg Cymbalta again and the symptoms abated.

 

I began my search on the w.w.w. for info on how to rid myself of this 'drug' supposed to "help" me..

I was then I found the forum Cymbaltawithdrawal.com. It was here that I met fishinghat and thismoment. It was here that I first saw "bead counting" and I must say I did wonder WTH is "bead counting"???

 

I am now quite good at bead counting because bead counting is the ONLY way that I have been able to get OFF this POISON! For you see I swallowed the last "1" of the little beads...only '1' and now I am DONE!

 

I want to thank everyone here who has been beside me as I made my journey thru hell and back. I am forever grateful for your encouragement, support and love. For your healing vibes, positive thoughts and prayers. Whatever it was that you did you did it for me and I am always thankful for that...

 

I don't know what my future holds. How much damage has been done to my brain. But I am hopeful because without hope I have nothing. I am determined to make the best of whatever it is that I have left.

I am so glad to be done, done forever with that drug Cymbalta aka "bad ass" drug IMHO...

 

I have kept a journal while on this journey. I will continue to do so, making note of my thoughts, feelings emotional and physical . I only wish to "pay it forward" and give back a little of what I've gotten while I've been here on this forum. I will in a future post list the w/d symptoms I experienced while weaning off this drug.

 

I had an emotional roller coaster kind of a day today. With crying, hurt feelings, irritability and just a "pissed" off kind of frame of mind. I know that tomorrow will be better. If not I will face whatever comes my way.

 

Thank y'all from the bottom of my heart for helping me make this journey as scary as it was. I've made it! Made it to live my life without Cymbalta altering my brain any longer! Thank my God, my family, my friends and especially my "forum" friends. It is they who could R/T the S*** I've been through. I plan to be here to give support to the ppl here now and the ones who will be fortunate enough to find this forum. A forum that has given me my life back!

 

"one day @ a time"....but NOT "one bead @ a time" not any longer...No for you see "I" am DONE!

 

God bless you all,

Now & always,

TheEquusWoman :hug:


#2 Carleeta

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 11:38 PM

Equuswoman. .This was beautifully written! Great Job, my friend!

#3 Wagtail

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Posted 18 March 2014 - 11:51 PM

Equuswoman , I'm actually very excited for you & ditto Carleeta.
Yes yes yes , whatever happens from now on you will be able to get through it
, because you've been through the worst .
You know what the s/e's feel like so you will know what is happening if you feel them coming on .
God bless you & please keep us in the loop !. Xxx

#4 fishinghat

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 07:57 AM

I am proud to know you. You are strength. May the Lord bless the rest of your life.


#5 FiveNotions

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 09:52 AM

And, please don't leave us, EW...stay around .... At least a bit...we need your insight, experience and encouragement....especially those who are just starting the process....they need to know that there is hope, and that we do come through this and move forward with our lives!

I've had to postpone my first bike ride that is to be dedicated to you...we had another snow storm Sunday night....no way I'm going to get on a bike for the first time in over 30 years right now ... Heheh .....weather reports are for temps in the 60s this weekend....so I'm planning to have a go then....

I'll report back in afterwards...if I survive....

If I end up in the ER with broken limbs, will you sign my cast(s) ?

#6 clearglass

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 10:38 AM

Yeah Equuswoman!!!! God Bless you and I will be with you Saturday!!!


#7 gail

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 04:16 PM

Yes, please stay on the forum, we need you!

 

 Inspiration, that, you are!

 

A  new journey begins for you, may it be enlightening. Thank you Equuswoman.


#8 equuswoman

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 08:53 PM

Equuswoman. .This was beautifully written! Great Job, my friend!

Carleeta, thank you for your kind words. I am so glad that you found this forum. You are such an ally to have. Thank you for your encouragement, advice but most of all I thank you for your heart felt prayers. I just thank you for being you and being here. :hug:


#9 equuswoman

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 08:56 PM

Equuswoman , I'm actually very excited for you & ditto Carleeta.
Yes yes yes , whatever happens from now on you will be able to get through it
, because you've been through the worst .
You know what the s/e's feel like so you will know what is happening if you feel them coming on .
God bless you & please keep us in the loop !. Xxx

Wagtail, I thank you for being here on this Cymbalta forum. It is amazing all the ppl that find this forum from all corners of the world. With one thing in mind to get off the poison. PPl here who are so willing to help and share their experiences. I am blessed to know you sweet friend!

:hug:

I am proud to know you. You are strength. May the Lord bless the rest of your life.

 

 sorry for this messed up post fishinghat. I dunno what I did ... lol


#10 equuswoman

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 09:02 PM

I am proud to know you. You are strength. May the Lord bless the rest of your life.

Ah my dear fishinghat, 'tis you and thismoment who met me when I first found this forum. Teaching me the method of beadcounting and patiently explaining to me more than one time just how it worked. I must say I became quite good at the ole bead counting lol

Had I know learned of this method to wean off this nasty evil vile devil's beads I still be swallowing 60mg every nite. But thanks to y'all I am NOT ... not ever going to take that poison again.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart and to you two I will be forever grateful...

May God bless and keep you always and my prayer is that you will in the future be as good as is possible.

:hug: Love TheEquusWoman


#11 equuswoman

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 09:07 PM

And, please don't leave us, EW...stay around .... At least a bit...we need your insight, experience and encouragement....especially those who are just starting the process....they need to know that there is hope, and that we do come through this and move forward with our lives!

I've had to postpone my first bike ride that is to be dedicated to you...we had another snow storm Sunday night....no way I'm going to get on a bike for the first time in over 30 years right now ... Heheh .....weather reports are for temps in the 60s this weekend....so I'm planning to have a go then....

I'll report back in afterwards...if I survive....

If I end up in the ER with broken limbs, will you sign my cast(s) ?

FiveNotions, I'd be honored to sigh your cast but I hope that does not happen when you take that bike ride dedicated to 'me'...

I do plan to stay on the forum. I feel that I have to give back for all that was given me here these past 5 months! I realize that ppl come here and  then get off the drug and move on with their lives. I do plan to stay around and help the newbies who come aboard seeking relief from this nightmare of Cymbalta.

God bless you :hug:


#12 equuswoman

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 09:15 PM

Yeah Equuswoman!!!! God Bless you and I will be with you Saturday!!!

clearglass YES indeed  you will. I will be thinking of you as you near the end of your Cymbalta journey.

In my prayers. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. Prayers & support for you! :hug:


#13 equuswoman

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 09:19 PM

Yes, please stay on the forum, we need you!

 

 Inspiration, that, you are!

 

A  new journey begins for you, may it be enlightening. Thank you Equuswoman.

gail I look forward to staying here on the forum. I wish to give help to those who may follow after.

I want to give back as my journey into the future continues with out my "friend" Cymbalta.

Please let us know how you are coming along :hug:


#14 equuswoman

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Posted 19 March 2014 - 09:27 PM

I am proud to know you. You are strength. May the Lord bless the rest of your life.

Ah my dear fishinghat I thank you again from the bottom of my heart for your patience with me while teaching me how to bead count. Without learing that method no doubt I'd still be dosing myself with that ol' brand name blue/green 60mg capsule given me to help my chronic pain of my LB due to osteoarthritis. Wish I'd never taken the first one BUT that is as they say "history" .... I did but now I am DONE with that poison. That nasty poison that damaged my delicate brain. I don't know what the long term SE may be but I do know 

that I will carry on as long as I can making the best of my life with whatever is left.

You will always have a special place in my heart. Always....

Much love many prayers for you my dear friend...

:hug: TheEquusWoman


#15 Clara

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Posted 20 March 2014 - 07:27 AM

Ew, what can I say to add to what's already been said? Ditto to it all! So proud of you, and grateful for your friendship! Hugs and prayers as always!!! clara :)


#16 equuswoman

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 05:29 AM

Clara, so blessed to have you as a friendā™„

#17 FreeSoon

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Posted 29 March 2014 - 11:29 AM

EW, you are an inspiration in persistence, patience and peace!  Congratulations on getting this drug out of your life forever!


#18 equuswoman

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Posted 29 March 2014 - 05:30 PM

EW, you are an inspiration in persistence, patience and peace!  Congratulations on getting this drug out of your life forever!

FreeSoon: Thank you so much for your kind words. How are you doing? Keep us posted!

Love support and prayers for you, always :hug:





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