48 replies to this topic

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Firstly, let me say that I am on day 12 of having not taken Cymbalta after having gone from60 mg. / day for over a year, to 30 mg for two weeks then 30 mg every other day for a week. I had to come up with his plan myself because my doctor refused to instruct me as to how to get off this f'ing drug because he felt I needed it. When I asked him what the most common strategy for filtrating off of it is he answered and I swear this is a quote, "There is no strategy because people don't go off Cymbalta." I stopped seeing him after that appt. I was able get break apart the tablets to make 30 mg. for myself in hopes that it would be so bad. I had missed two days of cymbalta once before and the crash was frightening to me. WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULDNT THEY TELL PEOPLE HOW BAD IT WOULD BE WHEN THEY STOPPED TAKING THIS DRUG?! I am having what I can only call a moments respit from headaches and brain flashes that allows me type this right now. I am in hell. I have taken different anti-depressants off and on since college, I'm 44 now. NONE have ever caused me so much misery to get off of. I can't organize my thoughts, my speech is slurred, I spend hours staring at nothing. I went to target yesterday at 10:00 in the morning, I can't remember what for, I sat in the parking lot, I don't remember what I was thinking about, I was not asleep, I did not pass out, next thing I know I was jolted by my cell phone ringing with a call from my children's school wondering why I was so late picking them up. It was 3:00pm school gets out at 1:30 on Tuesdays. I am barely holding it together. I can't stop crying. When I'm not crying I'm going around town having raging fits and angry outbursts with store clerks, gas station workers, people in parking lots then feeling overwhelmed with guilt and embarrassment which leads me to full on breakdown crying for up to a few hours. I have to FORCE myself to think hard just to hold a thought. I had to give my address to someone and I couldn't remember it. Just signing up for this forum almost made me throw my ipad against the wall in a fit of anger because I couldn't fill out the questions. We have a gun in our home and I told my husband he needed to get it out of the house until this is over. At times I feel like I have moments peace without cloudiness and flashes in my brain behind my eyes, times like now. I have to make the absolute most of those times because a horrible storm immediately follows. It was a moment of clarity like that where I told my husband to get rid of the gun and any sleeping pills we have in the house. I would have NEVER thought to kill myself. My childhood best friend found her mother in her garage when we were little girls after she had killed herself with carbon monoxide with a running car. She came running to my house screaming....it ruined her...just ruined her. I would NEVER have thought I would do that to my two little girls. But the other day I sat on the floor of the shower crying and I just begged God to kill me because I didn't want to kill myself. I am terrorizing my children with angry outbursts and then insane crying fits begging forgiveness, my husband is a pilot and is gone much of the time. He is afraid to leave me alone but can't take off of work. I wake up everyday and literally use whatever strength I can pull out to just hold it together long enough to get the girls to school and come home to hide. 8 days of this! Everything I read says it could take months for this to end. I don't think my family can go through months of this without permanent damage. I am not a crazy person in my old life. I was PTA president, I volunteer at school at least 10 hours a week. I can't go to my kids school like this. I am mumbling, crying, screaming, having brain flashes, spacing out for hours, my head hurts, my husband is almost ready to put me in an I patient facility, my little girls are afraid of me. I heard my 8yr old crying herself to sleep last night as she talked to her older sister in the bunk bed above her and she asked her, "do you think Mommy hates us." My older daughter said, "she didn't use to hate us, let's be extra good tomorrow." I feel sick as I just typed hose words. FUCK THIS FUCKING company for putting out this FUCKING drug. It is thing innocent peoples lives. When I think that I got on it because I felt a little down and I didn't feel very motivated...I would GIVE ANYTHING to go back to that problem. Please help me. What can make this better? How long will this last? I have a prescription for Prozac from my obgyn until sept 25 which is the soonest the new psych could get me in. I've heard that helps. Should I start it? I'm afraid. But then again I'm afraid now. I am really afraid of what this is doing to my family and my little girls. I have to get control of this. I can't talk to anyone of my friends because they all have kids at my kids school and I don't want them to gossip or be afraid to let their children near mine. I don't have family here where I live. I am feeling so lost and alone and I don't know what to do.

[brzghoff]

wow,

 

welcome to the forum miseryfromcymbalta,

 

that is a rough way to come off the C. i don't know how much you've read through this forum, but members swear by the bead counting method to withdraw from this drug. i wish i could instruct you, but i went cold turkey, more or less, but from a lower dose and not as abruptly as you. fishinghat is a forum member who is more than likely going to find your post within the next day and respond. he has a tried and true strategy that can help you if you have enough or can get enough cymbalta. 

 

glad to learn that you are getting a new psych doc. unbelievable that your previous psych told you people don't go off cymbalta. he sounds like a drug pusher. i have heard that prozac can help reduce symptoms but do not know when its appropriate or how that strategy works, but others here do

 

take care and good night

[FiveNotions]

Hi MFC, welcome to the forum .... I'm so very glad you found us, and I'm so very sorry you've encountered the hell of going cold turkey off of "crapalta" (our "pet name" for this poison).

 

You're going to get through this, and we're going to help you. Everything you're feeling is what we've experienced ... some more so, some less. But the point is, you are going to get through this!

You're doc is an uninformed jackass. Most of our docs are in that same category. Once you're feeling a bit better, you're going to want/need to get a new one ... likely still a jackass, but perhaps not such a dumb one ...

What you've described, what you're experiencing, are they symptoms that many of us have had when we've quit cold-turkey. It's clear you're quite sensitive to this poison, and the symptoms have hit you very hard. (Brzghoff did a "modified" but still hard cold turkey, I went from 60 mg to 0 in one day, as did others here. Like skydiving without a parachute. Lousy trip, very hard landing, not fun. )

Don't do this to yourself, or your children. You can't care for them and be this sick.

Get right back on the Cymbalta immediately, at the last dose level at which you were stable, that is, weren't having symptoms this unbearable. If you were okay at the 30 mg., great, just go back to that level. If you need to go back on the 60 mg, do that.

It's essential that you get yourself stable again. Then, once you've stabilized, you're going to use the bead counting method to come off the stuff gradually, over time. This will allow you to control the process, rather than it to control you, which is what's happening now. Given that I went cold turkey, I'll let the others here who have actual experience with bead counting give you the details.

While you're getting stable again, use that time to read more here and comment, ask questions, and develop your own plan for how to do this.

Every single symptom you're experiencing is due to serotonin ... that is, a lack of it... Cymbalta boosts serotonin levels in the brain. When the drug is stopped too quickly, it causes a huge drop in serotonin levels. Serotonin is a key brain neurotransmitter, and is involved in the Central Nervous system's regulation of almost every essential bodily function. Without it, the brain goes haywire ... it can't produce/regulate it's own serotonin level because Cymbalta has had control of that for so long.

By bead counting, and coming off the drug slowly, you'll give your brain the time it needs to gradually adjust and to begin to regulate the serotonin by itself.

You're going to be okay, you'll feel better as soon as you start getting the Cymbalta back in your system and your brain is getting enuf serotonin. Then, we'll help you get off this in a way that you can handle.

To repeat, get back on the Cymbalta immediately. Stay with us here, and keep posting so we know how you're doing.

I'll check back in tomorrow morning to write more. The others will be chiming in soon. Help is on the way!

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Thanks for responding so quickly brzghoff. I didn't think anyone would really read what I wrote once I looked back at it and saw how long and rambling it was. I guess what I did was pretty much cold turkey. My husband has even suggested that maybe I go back on Cymbalta until we can figure out a better time to go through the withdrawl. As if there is ever going to be a better time for this. I will NOT go back on this drug even in a small dose just to alleviate these symptoms. I am already here, so many days into being off of it I don't want to throw that away and go back on it just to end up starting over again in a few weeks. I just wish someone could tell me how much longer it is going to be this way. My mind is so cloudy right now. My husband is afraid that I might have permanent brain damage. I do know that my short term memory dropped rapidly after being on the drug for six months or so. It has almost completely disappeared since I have gone off the drug. It just never occurred to me that cymbalta was causing the memory loss while I was still on it. Now that I am completely off it...I just don't know. Darn it. I lost my train of though just now and I don't remember what I was going to say. I'm feeling confused all the time lately. Hopefully I will get another time tomorrow where I can read and write more clearly. Time for sleep and the horrible bad dreams that I know I will have. There truly is NOWHERE I can go to hide from this misery...not even sleeping gives me peace from it because of the nightmares, fuck I hate sounding and feeling like such a victim. I just can't believe I let this happento myself!

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Fivenotions, just reading a message written with strenght and suppor like that makes me feel like I am not as alone as I thought I was. But I am sitting here in tears at the thought that I have to go back on this drug. I'm not too sure if I can anyway because I believe the last words I said to the secretary of the dr who gave it to me when she called to confirm my appointment that I had forgotten to cancel after I decided that I would never go back to him went something like, go fuck yourself I don't give a shit about your cancellation policy you can suck it and so does dr ruttenberg. I said I was a functioning person before this, but I may have forgotten to mention that I curse like a sailor due to having grown up with five brothers. A habit which has come to seem more like torrets syndrome when combined with this withdrawl. Anyway, please, please tell me if you can...I know it is not doctors on here and I won't come back and say "it's your fault, you told me to do it." I promise...but isn't there anyway to just keep pushing through this WITHOUT getting back on it? How much longer can this last? I just can't do it...I feel like I would literally be putting the same poison back in my system that is hurting my family so much right now. I can't lie, I'm not really a hero. I AM. Worried about my family. Especially my girls...but honestly and. Selfishly I want this to be over. How much longer ? Does Prozac work the same way as cymbalta? How did this drug get out there and do this to so many people without anyone knowing it did this? I feel so foolish. Oh shit, I can't start crying again.

[ShadyLady]

Oh, MFC...I experienced the exact same symptoms you are having 14 weeks ago when I abruptly stopped @ 30mg after using my own idiotic down dosing from 120mg to 30mg over a two month period before stopping at 30mg as I thought that was the lowest dose and that was what you were supposed to do!! You poor dear are in full blown withdrawal. I am 58 and don't have any kids at home or a job to contend with in this discontinuation phase that is still so painful. You must get stable as you do have children and your husband is gone a lot I'm sure being a pilot. I, too, have taken just about every anti-depressant that has hit the market starting with Prozac in 1986!

Is there any way you could go back on the Cymbalta by counting out maybe half the beads of the 60mg capsule to try and stabilize and then bead count slowly to ease the radical side effects of withdrawal? I am not one of the smarter members here to advise you, unfortunately, but I do know the wise ones here will reply to your post in the morning. Like Brzghoff said I have read some posts here where others have been out on a low dose of Prozac while on the Cymbalta to begin weaning off as it seems to ease the side effects, but I don't have personal experience with that or bead counting. Like a complete dumbass I jumped out the plane without a parachute at 30mg and am still picking up body parts & scattered brain symptoms.

Do you have any Benzos to ease the insanity and anxiety? I feel so bad for you as the withdrawal is the most frightening thing I have ever experienced...I have stopped a-d's over the years and never experienced anything remotely similar to stopping this devil drug!

Hang on, others will soon welcome you and give their advice and experience. I just wanted to reply & let you know you're not alone and the members here do care and we are all here to help each other.

My prayers and thoughts are with you, dear one<3. This is the place to rant, rave or whatever as we are stronger in numbers
than going through this horrible shit alone as no one else can possibly understand that getting off a drug could be this inhumane:(

You will get through this, we will help you each step of the way.

[ShadyLady]

Whew, so glad to see "Mother FN" has responded!

[ShadyLady]

PS, MFC...I acquired Tourette's 'swearing' syndrome since I stopped the crack!!

[thismoment]

MFC

Excellent advice from FN and CS who are both experienced and knowledgeable.

Your symptoms are perfectly normal for cold turkey.

I see you have chosen not to re-instate, stabilize and wean off. Re-instatement would enable you to wean off slowly with few or even no symptoms. The cold turkey route you've chosen has been successfully navigated by some intrepid souls, but many simply cannot manage it.

"How much longer can this last?" It could well be 8-12 weeks just the way you are right now, with some relief apparent after 4 months. You simply have to plan to endure whatever comes your way in the first 6 months, and thereafter you will see light at the end of the tunnel, and things will improve remarkably in the following 3-4 months.

Plan to get something to manage the anxiety , like a benzodiazepine for as-needed basis. Get some help with the children because your behavior will be less than ideal, yet your modeling will be building the minds of your babies.

This is nobody's fault as there was no intention of harm-- there are only uninformed decisions and innocent trusting souls. It is what it is and you can't go back. Nobody knows how this drug works or what the long-term effects are. Antidepressants are a crap-shoot going on and coming off. The best you can do is wean off very slowly. Very slowly.

In fact you can wean off so slowly that there are almost NO symptoms. Your choice. Advise how we can help.

Take care.

[fishinghat]

MFC

 

You have already recieved excellant advice from your new freinds above. Go back on the Cymbalta and get stable. Snd don't worry you are not alone now. Don't be afraid to come here and just complain, vent or get angry.

 

Once you get stable again we will help you get through the bead counting. Don't worry we are here for you.

 

God Bless

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Hi everyone. THANK YOU for taking time to write back to me. How messed up is it that I woke up this morning thinking about what I posted last night and a few of your answers and I thought to myself, "I'm not going to have this problem anymore. I don't want to be one of this group of people who are still suffering after months and months." As if I could just decide that by not being part of a group it wouldn't be happening because I decided so. My husband is t home right now but I am going to talk to him when he gets home later this morning about what I should do as far as going back on this drug. It seems like if there is a way to do it without terrorizing my children and him that I would be being pretty selfish not to do it just because I don't want this drug in my system. It does seem llike saying that kicking heroin is too hard so I may as well keep doing it but I think that if there is an entire website and group of people who have lived with it that maybe there is some logic to it. But then again what do I know I trusted a doctor with a degree from 1954 to be up to date on new drug treatments.

[FiveNotions]

MFC,
 
I, also, swear like a sailor ... Cymbalta cold turkey or not ... I try to keep it off this forum, but I let 'er rip for sure during the hardest part of the cold turkey withdrawal . . and, I'm laughing out loud and your description of letting your doctor's office/nurse have a blast, full force ! 

 

Whether to continue with the CT, or go back on it, is totally your call ... just please talk things through carefully with your husband (well, as carefully as you can, given that your brain is doing wacky things to you right now) ... and please, put your children and him first ...

 

You may well be risking some permanent, or semi-permanent effects from staying on the CT route ... we here on the forum have observed that there are a number of factors that seem to affect the "hardness" of withdrawal ... age, whether or not we have other physical issues/conditions, our overall health and physical shape when we quit, how many other stressors we have in our lives (children, jobs, marriages, etc.) ... there may be other factors, but my brain isn't quite awake yet ..

 

Regardless of how you decide to do this .. CT or bead counting ... you've got to get a benzo to have on hand for the anxiety ... your brain/body need as much calm and rest as they can get during this process.

 

Also, do you have a support network? ... friends and/or family (other than your husband) who you can tell about what you're doing and who will help you as needed... caring for the children so you can get some rest, helping you with errands, etc etc...

 

I see you're on the thread now, so I'll post for you to read this, rather than write more.

[FiveNotions]

Unfortunately, it's the "old" docs who know the least ... they don't keep up with the true info on these drugs, and they rely almost totally on what the drug reps tell them ... which is bullshit....

 

Excellent decision to talk this over further with your husband. I'm sure he's worried sick about you ... and nope, no need to terrorize your children ... save that for Halloween

 

Just call your doc's office back, apologize ... just tell the nurse/whoever how awful you're feeling ... get the Rx for more of this shit ... once you're stable you'll be able to look for another doc ... I assure you, with few exceptions, they're all idiots ... but with the knowledge you'll get here, you'll learn of to "manage" your doc ... and get off the drug without the doc's screwing you up ... we all had to do it that way ... which totally sucks, because we all had to wake up the hard way and realize that they aren't there to support and help us when we need it the most.

 

I'd been on crapalta for 7-8 years ... every doc I had told me it'd be for life ...

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

I felt really good today for about two hours. I was so excited, I thought maybe it was over. Inside my head I kept thinking to myself, "what do I need to get done before this ends. If this is only going to last an hour or so there are things I need to do! Shit, what were they?" Before I knew it it was over. I'm back to feeling tired and with a headache. Now my ears are ringing. That's new. Mis that a thing too? F#%* me I think that will be the one that pushes me over the edge. Kids are at school and husband is home. I'm going to lay low and maybe sleep. I had a nightmare last night that I was in a mental institution and no one would believe me that I wasn't actually insane.
Could the fact that I felt a little better this morning ...even for two hours ...mean something? I don't think I can get more cymbalta from the old dr. I have an appt for sept 24 to see a new one but it looks like he around 70 yrs old so I'm not holding out a lot of hope that this guy is going to be a pharmaceutical genius. My mom has 30 mg. capsules that she was going to send me....THANK GOD she didn't actually start taking her cymbalta RX yet. I was able to stop her when I could see the writing on the wall for what was happening to me. Maybe I should get her to send it. What kind of permanent damage could be coming- when you say permanent damage what do you mean? Will my short term memory ever come back? Will I stop being so mean for no reason? If I felt better today is it possible that I don't need to go back on it to get stable? Does anyone else want to take there shoe off and throw it at the TV when "The View" is on and Rosie O'Donnell, Whoopi Goldberg and now Rosie Perez are all talking at the same time? Is that a Cymbalta thing too? I'm pretty sure I felt this way before but like I said...no short term memory. Look at me making jokes. I didn't think this was possible yesterday.

[FiveNotions]

MFC, now you've got me laughing again! Throwing my shoe at "The View" ... oh yeah .. everything you've described ... the noise in the ear is tinnitus ... it's another "symptom"/effect of coming off ... actually, I developed it while on the stuff ..and I still have it, comes and goes ... that's what I would call a permanent or semi-permanent effect ... my memory was totally shot for months ... thank God, that's now pretty much back ... except for some huge gaps during the "crapalta years" ... not sure I want those memories back completely anyway! 

everything you're feeling/experiencing is, indeed, related to the sharp drop in serotonin in your brain ... and it all passes ...

Definitely go take a nap .. sleep absolutely as much as you can! It's essential, your brain/body need all the "down time" they can get ... brain is rewiring itself, and that takes a lot of energy!

Two good hours .. that's excellent! It's a "window" ... and it will appear, and open wider, as the days pass ... and, you've sure got a sense of humor ... another huge positive sign!

Come here and vent, rant, rave, laugh, cry ... whatever ... you're safe here, understood here ... we've all been through it, are currently going through it ...

Thank God you caught your mom before she started this stuff! Whew ...

By the time you get in to see that doc, you may have been off cold turkey too long to make it worth going back on it ... Fishinghat, what do you think?

Hang in there MFC! All the effort/struggle to get off this stuff is sooooo worth it!
 

[fishinghat]

Like FN says. Those good times will slowly become longer and more frequent. Hang in there.

[brzghoff]

MFC, don't worry about the idea that you have or even "might" have permanent brain damage. at this point, you have no idea, we have no idea. its not healthy to think about a future that does not exist especially while in withdrawal/discontinuation. its about the here and now. that's all any of us ever have! many people come through this with flying colors how long, it varies. for most, its a roller coaster for awhile - better days come, then a few steps back then four forward a few back, forward and on we go as we slowly improve. everyone is different although there are common threads through our collective experiences. best thing is to get yourself a good therapist (might take a few tries) that focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy. no matter what the outcome, those skills will be the best thing you can rely on in order to survive anything you deal with now and/or in the future.

 

we're rootin' for ya!

[Jones]

MFC
You are making me laugh too. Forget the shoe, I want to get the View with my 45 ! And I'm about a year and a half out !
Hold on tight and keep posting. Wonderful people here.

[ShadyLady]

Hey, MFC...do you not have any Crap at all? If not, I would have Mom overnight me her 30mg. You are under 50, which is a good thing, because I think the ct kicks old asses over 50 much harder based on the kazillion posts I've read here since joining in June. I do hope the side effects ease up but I am believing the cold turkey does have harsher consequences for a longer term than the slow bead counting method. The anger/rage has been a bitch for me and it has caused me to hole up as I flame over some of the smallest shit, though I have had a couple doctor experiences that were deserving, IMO, of my 'Tourette fits!' I didn't experience the 'ear ringing' but many have...another choice at the snack bar of multiple choices of withdrawal effects! Yes, f*#k me running was my mantra with each horror of symptoms in the first 8 weeks. Nightmares, daymares those were some scary flicks to watch and I thought maybe they were defining who I really was!! Well, I need to shut the hole as I'm rambling...still a hot mess some 14 weeks after stopping the dope!

Be kind to yourself and watch the quick anger fires (can't take back words and they can be hurtful!)

You will get through this, we are here to help you;)

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

I was just looking for more info online and ii found his thing that looked like it was from the FDA and it talked about "Cymbalta Discontinuation Syndrome". There is a name for this? I would have come up with something more colorful but at least there is a name for it. The timing of this sucks so bad. Just days before I ran out of of the end the cymbalta we got a new dog from a shelter...a German Shepphard...he is beautiful but an added thing to take care of and feel guilty about when I go nuts and yell at him. We decided to go ahead and sign my girls up for a few after school activities, swim team and art class for my younger, ballet and soccer for my older...oh and an F'ing math program call Kumon which requires that they do homework booklets of math problems EVERYDAY. I am not a "boundaries and schedules person" under the best of circumstances but with his cymbalta shit?! Are you kidding me? I need a muzzle. Between yelling and freaking out on strangers, mumbling to myself as I wander aimlessly through supermarkets with an empty cart then you add in f'ing MATH! The dog food makes me gag, you can fuck right off if you think I am following a dog around my neighborhood picking up his poop in a plastic Baggie, and I am constantly ITCHING! I have scrubbed this dog within an inch of his poor life. There don't seem to be fleas. Why am I itching and no one else in my family can feel this. I feel like there are bugs in my hair - all over me! My husband scheduled some guys to come in and clean our air conditioning vents so that ruined my nap. But who am I kidding I wasn't going to sleep anyway. I haven't actually slept in days. I mean I think I have even asleep- I have memories of nightmares to show for it but I haven't SLEPT. Does anyone get that? Also, this is the busy season for my husband so I am alone a lot right now. I decided to confide in one of my friends that I am not doing so great right now. I told her about the drug. She was silent. I think she thinks that I am always nutty so what's the difference? She hasn't called back but I'm pretty sure the play date my daughter was going to have with hers is no longer on the books. I am feeling like I have been ruining my kids lives before this withdrawal started. Mi say things without a filter that so,e people laugh at and others not so much. I am always "fighting" with someone. A mom at school, one of my brothers, usually moms at school. I don't do women's politics that well. As a matter of fact I suck at it. I think I got on Cymbalta in the first place because I thought it could fix me. I hate my personality. I swear too much, I say goofy shit, I'm obnoxious and I can see the cartoon bubble above almost every teacher who discovers they have one of MY kids at the begining of the year and it says..."Oh great. Which is worse the kid or the mom?" I don't know anymore if I am crazy, crazy from cymbalta withdrawal, crazy and unlikable, or what. I feel like I have ruined my older daughters life and now she is in fourth grade and I only have this year and next year where I can be at her school and help out and now I am ruining it even worse with this cymbalta withdrawal shit. Great. Now I'm crying again and I don't think it is even from the cymbalta this time.

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

More questions....
Seriously, why am I itching so bad? Could it be fleas? This one I wouldn't mind hearing was the result of Cymbalta.
I read something that said taking Benydryl. Yes Benedryl help alleviate the symptoms. Is that what you guys mean by Benzos?

I have Xanax but that makes me sleepy, not calm like it use to but not good sleepy either.

I started thenprozac. My poor husband asked me an hour later if I felt any different. Poor guy. He doesn't get how any of this works. He HATES all drugs. I use to take Lamictal for impulse control / mood stabilizer, cymbalta for depression and adderral for ADHD. He would complain that I needed so many meds. I told him...."Adderal helps me wake up in the morning and remember to take the other two pills, lamictal keeps me from stabbing you in the neck while you sleep and the cymbalta keeps me from feeling bad about needing the other two." Turns out getting off of cymbalta has brought the entire menu on that the other drugs use to prevent. I wonder if lamictal would help me now?

Oh man! I am also taking adderall! I am in full cymbalta withdrawal but I still take 20mg of adderal a day. Does that matter at all? I completely forgot about that.

Ok so let me try to organize a thought here...;
A) Benedryl? Anyone? Helpful? Why? How?
itching? Please be cymbalta not fleas.
C) adderall....problem or helper with this? Should I stop that too?
D) go back on lamictal? I don't have it right now...but I could ask the new dr about it on the 24th.
E) has anyone ever had trouble seeing since starting cymbalta? My eyesight has deteriorated so rapidly over the past year it is weird.

PS I tried ...I can't get more cymbalta right now. I'm stuck until the 24th. Which I think one of you guys said ...would be pretty much too late to go back on to get stable.

F)was I EVER stable? That's a rhetorical question. I think we can see that I was not

When I was little my family would go to Canada every year to our summer home there. We lived near Chicago in a small town. On the long car ride home every year I would make lists as to how I would be different and better that year at school....you know things like, "stop swearing", "stop being a tomboy", "stop being so needy and insecure with friends" (I required constant reassurance from my best friend that I was her "#1" best friend.). I never managed to do any of it. I am 44 now and I hate who I am just as much as I did when I was 10 and sitting in the back of that car. Funny thing is... When I first started cymbalta there were five or six glorious months where I didn't. I became pta president, I didn't lose my temper, I didn't even swear as much....as much...then it seemed to end and the old overly dramatic, overly sensitive me came back. Only when she did - she had no short term memory and cried a lot more. Now I look at my daughter who is 9 and she is SO much like me that it makes my heart hurt. I think of her sitting in the back seat of my car making lists like I use to and I just want to tell her that she doesn't need a list. She is ok as she is. There is nothing wrong with her that I didn't create. I ruined her. Thankfully her sister is more like her dad....confident, strong super easy. Give it time...I'm chipping away at that too. Blah, blah poor me. Poor my kids. My head hurts so bad right now and the only thing that helps is squeezing it. I have a bathrobe belt wrapped around my head and I am using it like a tourniquet. Oddly - it helps.

[fishinghat]

A) Benedryl is helpful because it is a sleep aide and slows down your metabolism. It is not the same as a benzo (short for benzodiazepine, Your Xanax is one of the benzos. Benzos usually work well for most anxiety BUT the manufacturer's recommend not to use them for more than 4 months as you will build up tolerance to it. This means that in order to continue to use them you would need to periodically increase the dose. Not wise for an addictive drug with its own nasty withdrawal.

 

Yes itching is known to be one of the effects of Cymbalta withdrawal. I didn't have that experience but others on here have. I am sure they can contribute to this.

 

I can't help you much with C, D and E but I am sure others can.

[ShadyLady]

Oh, MFC please don't take this wrong:/ I am lmfao as I'm laying flat with an ice pack on my neck staring up at my IPad after reading about the dog tale, the market, the friend (mine aren't calling or coming around much these days and really, I could care less!) and the robe belt wrapped around your head! You have a sense of humor, or maybe I am really warped, even in the throes of withdrawal! I know you are suffering, but your story has brought back memories of my early withdrawal days that seem so distant yet are only a couple months past. Your honesty is real and refreshing for this ol' sick broad and my compassion is great toward your real suffering.

Answers;
I ate Benadryl like candy for the itching (I didn't shower or bathe for 3 weeks which could have been the 'itching!') and for sleep...no luck for me.

ADDERALL, I stopped taking the 25mgXR 2x a day a few months before stopping the C-Crack...now doc has me on Wellbutrin and added 20mg of ADDERALL...took the Wellbutrin for a month and haven't taken any in the last two days or started the ADDERALL. Based on some advice here, I am thinking I haven't given myself enough time off the CYM to just let it be, so to speak, a so I am moment to moment on the sane/insane scale of figuring out what to do.

Lamictal? I don't know...one drug I haven't been prescribed:/ Maybe Brzghoff can answer that question as I believe she has is on it.

Vision? Shot...since stopping the shit. I asked the same question and others shared the same problem and suggested not getting a new eye rx for 6mo., I think that was the answer:( I swear I must have a brain tumor as how could my vision be so f'dupness. That stupid word 'Time' makes me batshit crazy most days, but what is the alternative? I search the internet for the 'perfect' inpatient/re-hab believing that somehow I can be 'fixed' and not have to live through this, Yes, DISCONTINUATION SYNDROME!!

"Was I ever stable?" What is stable? I'm looking at people around me now and believe they are the unstable ones and maybe I put too much thought (cycling) over the years about what stable means instead of focusing on the here and now...not the regrets of a shit childhood of the past and the unknown, likely 'unstable' future, ahead of me. All I have is this day and am trying with all I have to make it have some meaning and joy.

Do you have a psychologist/therapist? If not, have you ever tried therapy? I am not one to speak of the benefits as I don't have one but others here speak of the value and benefits of therapy over the drug therapy!

Sorry if this reply sucks...other here speak with great eloquence & clarity...I chicken scratch posts as I can't keep my train of thought longer than a nano second:/

Hugs and warm fuzzies, Rebecca

[brzghoff]

i take lamictal, have been since cymbalta and since i got off. i think it helps. ask the psych when you see him

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Brzghff did I make you mad? Or offend you with my swearing? If so sorry.

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Today wasn't as bad as some of the days have been, aside from the headaches, ear ringing and nausea. I didn't scream at anyone. That is a lot for me right now. I did have an incident while driving though. I was taking my younger daughter to art class when suddenly I felt completely weak. I felt shaky, nauseous and there were those brain zap things only they seemed to be lasting for almost 40 seconds at a time instead of the quick flash that it has been. I had to pull the car over. My poor daughter was so scared. To make matters worse I threw up on myself. I don't get it. Where did that come from? Poor baby, she is only 8 but she was so calm...she didn't even act grossed out. She reached across me and grabbed some napkins to help clean up. She must have been so scared but she called her dad and told him to come get us because I couldn't drive. Thank God he wasn't on a trip. My husband came to get us and we just left the car on the side of the road. No sooner had I gotten home to lay down before I actually felt better again, except for the headache and ear ringing....this f'ing ear ringing! I can see how it is difficult for my husband to deal with this. It is so inconsistent that he probably thinks I am faking it. It is not like a real illness where you can define it and better yet get help without feeling like people either didn't believe you or think you are exaggerating. On the upside the car I was driving is a rental car. My own car needed a service at the dealer and I had such a full on melt down spaz attack when I went in the other day to leave the car and they said it would take all day....as I recall I said something like, "No I don't want an f' ing shuttle ride home! I can't be without my car all day! I have to go to the supermarket (albeit to wander around aimlessly, crying and struggling to remember what I went there for), I have to pick up my kids from school! What kind of dealership needs more than an hour to change oil? Listen, every time I come here you come up with new shit that needs to be done to this car. Save us the dance and just add on all that shit now. It do it in a half an hour or I'm leaving!" Followed by, overwhelming remorse ..."I'm really sorry, it's not your fault...you are just a poor guy with a crappy job who has to deal with bitches like me. I'm so sorry. But I really do need my car." The guy: "I like my job". Me: "uh, ya, I meant "crappy" in that people get upset with you all the time." The guy: "not really that often." Me: " just bring my car back around I'll bring it back another day when my husband is home". Then I start crying. I mean full on booger running, ugly crying. The guy, "why don't you come back on Thursday. I'll get the dealership to pay for a rental for you." Me : " really? Thanks. I'm so embarrassed." What I should have said is, "ya, I'm batshit crazy. I'll be returning that rental car on Friday morning smelling of puke and febreeze. Then I'm doing us both a favor and never coming back here again. I'll be driving to the Honda dealership two towns over for the duration of my ownership." The only trouble with feeling a little better is that I can now let the full weight of just how crazy I have been behaving all over town sink in....upside: my older daughter said, "you are being really nice today mommy. Did you cry today? ....why do you smell like puke?" Younger daughter, "don't ask, she might freak out again." Ahhhh, the good ole DAY.

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Cym Sik...I'm glad you aren't offended by my humor. Few and far between are the people who don't get offended or just give up on my rants....because it confuses them.

Also, I must apologize to all of you because I was being a little judgy...in my own head. I kept thinking you were all calling me "MFC" as in "Mother Fu*#ing Cymbalta". I was like, why do they all keep starting their notes that way? It isn't really nice...I'm not representing Cymbalta on here, why are they referring to me as if I AM cymbalta? I showed my husband a post to help him understand how there were so many people suffering with this thing and he saw the MFC. He asked what it was and I said it was like like LMFAO or one of those things. He said that didn't make sense. I explained my theory on how helpful everyone was here even though I think they see me as somehow representing cymbalta that you all keep cursing at me and calling me MF'ingCymbalta. I even said how bad I feel that I must have upset Brzghff somehow because they had been sending long messages that suddenly turned short....probably because I swore too much or now they too see me as if I represented the Cymbalta company some how. He said..."that makes even less sense." After a minute he handed me my ipad and said, "look at your user name." I got mad and said I didn't feel like playing his games and that if he didn't like the fact that I had joined a support group that he just didn't understand what was happening to me. He said "YOU don't understand. You are becoming paranoid and making up crazy stuff to make sense of it". I said, "you suck. If you ever go through something like this I will be just as unsupportive and judgmental of YOU!" Then I saw it....Miserable From Cymbalta. And there you have it....pretty much a synopsis of what every night has been like in my house for the last ten days...when I'm not screaming or booger crying. Curse you whoever took the user name I wanted originally which was "Cymbalta Sucks."

[TryinginFL]

MFC  (do I dare address you this way?)

 

Hopefully you have figured it out - I am called TFL - FiveNotions is FN, etc.  I have to admit that really made me laugh!  I'm so sorry that you thought we were all being rude - no one here is rude!  I have not personally welcomed you to our Club, but want to do so  now!  I wasn't on here much the past couple of days - too many places I had to be...

 

I understand how you are feeling - I must admit that there were times I felt that I was dying when I first got off this shit -cold turkey- NOT RECOMMENDED!!!  I did not find this forum until I had been off for 2 weeks so just pushed on and took my trip to Hell.  I have been off for 8 1/2 months now but still have sleep issues and extreme lack of motivation and no energy.  My short term memory has not recovered totally and perhaps never well - I'm getting old!

 

I don't know how I would have made it through all of this without the wonderful people on this forum - you could not hope to find more care and support anywhere!

 

I took (and still do take) Alprazolam (Xanax) and Hydrocodone.  They have been a great help in dealing with the anxiety and pain of fibro and arthritis.  I think you mentioned that you had Xanax - take it!  I often take one before trying to sleep - it helps!  I upped my dosage of the Alprazolam during the worst of the anxiety - I couldn't deal with the constant urge to climb the walls!

 

Again, welcome - I'm glad that you are able to come here to rant, cry or whatever - we all did it!  We are all friends here in this safe place and no one judges.

 

Liz

[Miseryfromcymbalta]

Thanks so much TFL! I didn't think anyone was being rude...I just - assumed naturally that everyone was upset with me somehow and kept calling me that. Uh duh? I get it now. With or without Cymbalta I am challenged by the language and electronics of the modern world. If it were left to me to equip my household with computers and stuff it would consist of a bunch of cords that led to a room in the back where Gilligan and Maryann peddled frantically on bamboo bicycles that the professor had rigged up to creat a computer system.

I can't tell you how good it feels to have found all of you. I thought maybe I was exaggerating it in my own head and that there must be some way that I could control this myself. Just knowing that you guys are out there...hopefully not feeling offended by my "colorful"- as my mother calls them...stories.

I keep finding myself checking back to see if anyone has written anything new. It means so much to me right now. Thanks. Oh shit, now I'm freaking crying again.

[TryinginFL]

MFC

 

Just envisioning your description of computers in your house is hysterical!

 

And go ahead and cry -  you are getting in touch with your emotions again.  I cried a lot the first couple of months and still cry easily about anything extremely happy or sad - in fact, I cry when I read some of the posts here - I feel for these people who are suffering so.  This is a terrible state to be in and we all pray that this crap will eventually be taken off the market.  Unfortunately, the long term effects of discontinuation are unknown due to lack of documentation and number of years this crap has been on the market.

 

I am currently watching my Cubs getting trounced by your Dodgers!  I am an avid baseball fan - originally from the Chicago area

 

It helps to find distractions to keep your mind off what is going on with it (does that make sense?)

 

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers,

 

Liz