10 replies to this topic

[ittybittysmitty]

Triple whammy on the road today..i have had a bad day already then get pulled over for speeding and I couldn't find my insurance card PLUS my tabs are expired...i can't stop sobbing..

This crapalta has made me so fricking spaced out i don't pay bills on time my moms care has completely taken over my awareness to the point I'm not taking care of my business...

I have had suicidal thoughts since this just happened because nothing had been going my way for weeks..my fibromyalgia had prevented me from going to church events and a boat cruise and now this..i just wish something good would happen! I asked God why I'm here other than being at moms beck and call.

Please give me some words of encouragement..im desperate for HOPE.

[Carleeta]

IBS, yes it sounds as though you are truly going through a very rough patch right now. Well, I'll tell you a story when my mom needed my care, I just so happened to get pulled over when there was a road block. To my surprise my car went passed it's yearly inspection by 2 weeks. Let me tell you I certainly know how your mind is going in all different directions right now. It's ok! This happens to everyone, and you certainly have reasons for forgetting things important to you self. Show up for court and explain how consumed you have been with your mothers care.

As far as your physical pain, you are not alone here with others, we have our good and bad days. Trying to relax on the bad days (if you can with the care of your mom) and, please rest as much as you can when you are not caring for mom....

I'll pray your days get easier for you.....

Hugs and prayers to you

[gail]

IBS, yup, what a bad hair day you have had!

I read your previous posts. Something good did happen, you started therapy last week. Church events and the boat cruise can wait.

I wish I knew the words to say to sooth you.
I have not walked in your shoes.

But I have walked a very difficult path, and all I wanted to hear, pleaded to hear is that I was gonna get better. When in times that I just wanted God to come and get me, and believe me that this happened many times, a little hope here and there got me through it. Tiny little things.

Again and again, months after months, that went on. I did not think that I would make it through.

So I am telling you IBS, you are going to get better!
You will be OK. And, by the way, God never leaves us an entire day in misery, catch the tiniest bit of hope that comes your way. A few minutes here and there. As Fishinghat used to say, may God bless you!

[TryinginFL]

IBS

 

I'm so sorry that you have had a day from hell.  I don't know why these things always seem to happen in such quick succession, but I certainly understand!

 

Within the past month, I was backing out of my driveway and didn't see a car coming (Yes, I did look) - I was going a whole 3 mph so it wasn't major to my car  -  just a scraped bumper and bent  tail pipe, but his crap car was a little worse. I called a cop and she asked if any injuries - answers were no and I was not given a ticket.  A few days later, my insurance called to tell me the shithead had an attorney and was claiming personal injury!  Guess he wanted a new car.  My insurance is State Farm, so no worries there, but omg...   apparently very prevalent in this stupid state.

 

2 weeks ago a pipe broke in one of my bathrooms and was gushing water like a fountain for probably 2-3 hrs before I went to bed and walked down the hall "squish , squish".  My bedroom, the one bathroom, hallway and closets were absolutely soaked - about 2 inches of water on bathroom floor.  Finally got a service out at 230am and they left at 445am -- left 5 huge fans that sounded like a runway, so couldn't sleep for 4 nites - aaarrrrrgggg!!!!!   Even sleeping on the couch in the living room was no help.  Now everything is dried out and I received the bill -- $1430.00   I see several payments there...

 

I know this doesn't help you but just want you to know that you are not alone - when the shit hits the fan...

 

Please try to rest and I know it is difficult with the fibro (I have it too) and especially taking care of your mom.  I have forgotten, excuse me, but how long have you been off the crap now?  It has been 9 1/2 months for me and I find that I tire very easily and my biggest issue is sleep.  I am seeing my PCP tomorrow and am going to ask for something for that - I also feel sad much of the time (not exactly depression, but just not happy).  Do you feel that way too?

 

I send you my love and prayers, dear friend and please try to settle down and take care of you   You will be OK!!

 

Liz

[FiveNotions]

IttyBitty ... while I was on the crapalta I submit my tax filings for 6 years, spent thousands of dollars on weird online shopping, and did innumerable other strange things ... while I was coming off it, I went for 5 months without cleaning my apartment, paid my rent late, didn't pay bills, all sorts of stuff .... because while coming off it I was just too damned sick ... and it wasn't until the beginning of the 6th month off that my mind cleared enuf that I realized what I had / hadn't done ...including that one of my cats had been using the back of my walk in closet to poop in ... and one of the shelves ...while I was sick ...

 

There's no way I could have driven a car ... I'm amazed that you can do that!

 

And, while I was caring for my mom I was just so exhausted I did the same as you ... let my tags expire, and they towed my car! All sorts of other stuff ...

 

you are definitely not alone in having "crapalta" days like today ...just hang in there ... have a good cry, share it here with us ... but no more suicidal thoughts ... you are indeed getting a life ...  getting your life back ...don't let the crapalta keep you down!.

[Blackbird]

I can relate.  For months I was so exhausted I could not even go to the store.  Just ate whatever I had.  And not too interested in cooking either.  It's been over 7 months, and I still have motivation issues.  Just flat, flat, flat.   

 

Oh, and crying and laughing uncontrollably.  Very bi-polar.  It's still a struggle.  Wonder what life is for sometimes.  But then, I think of my kids and grand-kids..and could never do anything.  It would be too hurtful.  So, putting one foot in front of the other, I know that tomorrow might be better.

 

And I'm resolving to get some joy.  Tomorrow I will kick myself to the Y to swim.  Bought some wireless headphones (cheap), so will sing for voice therapy.   Just have to push myself to do these.  Keep telling myself self care is the #1 importance.

 

And this forum helps so much!  Thank you all for being there.

[ittybittysmitty]

Thanks everyone....we've got to stick together!!

Does 'brain damage' sum it up? Hopefully we're not really brain damaged but doesn't it seem like it?!!

FN, i read somewhere that online shopping sprees are a side effect!! Who knew...I've often wondered why i'm so hell bent on buying things on HSN and QVC, Shop HQ...i guess now i can stop beating myself up..Are you over that now? How are you feeling these days compared to then?

"Please try to rest and I know it is difficult with the fibro (I have it too) and especially taking care of your mom. I have forgotten, excuse me, but how long have you been off the crap now? It has been 9 1/2 months for me and I find that I tire very easily and my biggest issue is sleep. I am seeing my PCP tomorrow and am going to ask for something for that - I also feel sad much of the time (not exactly depression, but just not happy). Do you feel that way too?"

Wow, Liz, i'm sorry you're still not feeling yourself...did the PCP give you something and is it helping you?...Hope so! Sleep is so important if we're going to function.

I'm down to about 5 beads today and go down by one, so pretty soon, no more crap...

[ittybittysmitty]

Hi Carleeta,

Well, I'll tell you a story when my mom needed my care, I just so happened to get pulled over when there was a road block. To my surprise my car went passed it's yearly inspection by 2 weeks. Let me tell you I certainly know how your mind is going in all different directions right now. It's ok! This happens to everyone, and you certainly have reasons for forgetting things important to you self

THANK YOU! Wow, we can relate...were you her only caregiver? That must have been a huge challenge but YOU GOT THROUGH IT!! I don't think caring for a parent leaves one regret...I am thankful i'm sharing this responsibility with an agency...no way i could do it alone...Now that I'm down to fewer beads I'm not as much a monster with her.

God bless you dear and blessings on your day!!

[TryinginFL]

IBS

 

I wish you the best as you are working your way off this crap!  Hopefully you will be doing much better soon.

 

My PCP actually recommended Melatonin to start off - I told her I really didn't want any heavy duty sleeping meds.  I think it has been helping along with 1/2 mg Alprazolam at nite. I have actually had a good night's sleep the past 3 !  Should it be needed, I will double the dosage of the Melatonin (am currently taking 1 5mg tab each night) How refreshing that a PCP actually recommended a natural supplement!!

 

I'm happy that things are a little better between you and your mom.

 

Please keep us posted as you finally wean off the poison!!

 

Li z

[Blackbird]

Liz,

I used to take a high dose of melatonin for sleep. Didn't work so great.  Then I read in 'Prevention' magazine that 1/2 tablet of a 3mg works best ( 1 1/2 mg ).  It does work the best.  Also, I worked at a Dr's office this year. He  does mainly natural stuff and  supplements.  He always prescribed  1 1/2 mg for his patients.  Just an FYI.  Hope this helps.

 

Blackbird

[TryinginFL]

Blackbird,

 

Thanks for the advice!  I'll give it a try and let you know...

 

Liz