16 replies to this topic

[kathyms3150]

After being off C for about 3 months I began to feel a lot better. Then about a week and a half ago I started feeling the withdrawal symptoms return. I knew that was possible and they weren't bad so I wasn't too upset, but they seem to be getting worse by the day. I've been trying to stay positive but the past couple days I've started to panic again. I can't stop thinking that I've got permanent damage and there's nothing anyone can do to help. I'm feeling close to how I was when the withdrawal was at its worst. I thought the worst was over. Has this happened to anyone else? Thanks.

[FiveNotions]

Kathy, I hate to say this, but 3 months off just isn't a long time ... you're in one of the tough phases again ... 4 months was, for me, a big turning point ... then 6 months ... then 9 months ... and right now, at 10 1/2 months off, I'm having a rough time again ... not with the anxiety, but with general body aches and pains, night sweats, and the insomnia is coming back ...

You're simply expecting too much from yourself ... you'll go through these phases for months ... the excellent thing is that gradually the good days/phases last longer, and the hard times are less hard and last less time ...

Ride this out, and stop thinking negatively ... you are getting better, very much so ... just read back over your posts, from the very first one up until today ... you'll see how good you're doing!!

Hang in there!

[Carleeta]

Kathy, As FiveNotions stated this will take time, and it might come in phases as she described her own symptoms.  What would help for this panic you are experiencing is to try and not to think you have permanent damage and there is noting you can do.  This though alone is called 'uncertainty' and a quite bit of panic is associated with the 'uncertainty' thinking.  Therefore, please try and not think of things we are not sure of.  Again, as FiveNotions stated there will be good days and then some bad days seem to pop up out of nowhere.  One thing is certain, you are no where near where you were when you first stopped Cymbalta.

 

Please take care.

 

FiveNotions, sorry to hear you are having some set backs.  They will be over soon.  First you have too  much on your mind, and doing so much more than you were a month ago.  Slow down a bit, and do some relaxation breathing or anything which will help you relax.  please

[kathyms3150]

Kathy, I hate to say this, but 3 months off just isn't a long time ... you're in one of the tough phases again ... 4 months was, for me, a big turning point ... then 6 months ... then 9 months ... and right now, at 10 1/2 months off, I'm having a rough time again ... not with the anxiety, but with general body aches and pains, night sweats, and the insomnia is coming back ...

You're simply expecting too much from yourself ... you'll go through these phases for months ... the excellent thing is that gradually the good days/phases last longer, and the hard times are less hard and last less time ...

Ride this out, and stop thinking negatively ... you are getting better, very much so ... just read back over your posts, from the very first one up until today ... you'll see how good you're doing!!

Hang in there!

Hi FN,  Thanks for your quick reply. I know 3 months off isn't that long, but I didn't expect these setbacks to be so bad or last this long. I was thinking they would be milder and last for a few days. Like I mentioned I was going swimming just over a week ago and now I'm incapacitated again. You're right, I was expecting too much, but it's so disheartening...

I'm so sorry that you're having a bad time again. Do you ever feel afraid that it will never go away?

[kathyms3150]

Kathy, As FiveNotions stated this will take time, and it might come in phases as she described her own symptoms.  What would help for this panic you are experiencing is to try and not to think you have permanent damage and there is noting you can do.  This though alone is called 'uncertainty' and a quite bit of panic is associated with the 'uncertainty' thinking.  Therefore, please try and not think of things we are not sure of.  Again, as FiveNotions stated there will be good days and then some bad days seem to pop up out of nowhere.  One thing is certain, you are no where near where you were when you first stopped Cymbalta.

 

Please take care.

 

FiveNotions, sorry to hear you are having some set backs.  They will be over soon.  First you have too  much on your mind, and doing so much more than you were a month ago.  Slow down a bit, and do some relaxation breathing or anything which will help you relax.  please

Hi Carleeta, Thanks for replying. I didn't expect that the setbacks would be this bad. Yes, the thought of having this permanently is uncertainty, but since it seems that our doctor's didn't know this could happen how can we know that it will end for good. The anxiety and depression I feel are causing me to think the worst. How are you doing?

[TryinginFL]

I must agree with FN and Carleeta, Kathy...

 

It certainly does come in cycles - symptoms leave and then reappear again as unpleasant surprises. I am a month behind FN in this miserable discontinuation and I still have things that continue to reappear.  Specifically, the fatigue, body pain and now the insomnia seems to have come back with a vengeance.  I didn't get to sleep last nite until after 3am...

 

Yep, I wonder if there really is an end - no one knows, since we are the first lab rats to go through all of this.  All we can do is be thankful for the good days and not entertain any thoughts of "what will be".  It is irrelevant. It is what it is and there is nothing we can do about it.

 

I hope that this cycle ends soon for you.

 

Liz

[kathyms3150]

Hi Liz,

I thought that the cycles would be milder each time. I'm sorry you're having bad insomnia, do you take anything to help you sleep? I take Ambien and it's been working, but the past few nights I keep waking up.  My anxiety is very bad and I also have the body aches and those hot flushes.

I don't know how not to be afraid that this will never go away. It's too hard to imagine living with this for the rest of our lives. I'd love to tell my doctor to stop prescribing Cymbalta, but I know she won't. And the thing is I still need something for my depression and anxiety. It sure does feel like we're lab rats trapped in a cage with no way out. Sorry to be such a downer. I hope your insomnia goes away soon, it's so hard to cope when you don't sleep.

Hugs, Kathy  

[TryinginFL]

Kathy,

 

Do you have any benzo for the anxiety?  I know how debilitating it can be.  I thank God that mine has finally left - at least for now...I have Alprazolam (Xanax).

 

My Dr. actually recommended I take melatonin to start, regarding the sleep issues.  I have not even been using it for a week, so don't know how this will go.  I will double the dose after a week if it still isn't working and give it a couple of weeks.  If still not helping, I guess we go to Ambien or something along those lines. All I can do is wait and see.   

[kathyms3150]

Hi Liz,

I take Klonopin, but it only helps so much. I've tried Clonidine and hydroxyzine but they don't seem to help. The Clonodine makes me woozy and I know that's supposed to go away in time, but I just don't like the feeling.

I hope the melatonin helps you, I took it once and got very dizzy. None of us should be going through this. I pray that we'll all get our health back.

[TryinginFL]

Kathy,

 

Have you thought about using a different benzo? 

 

Funny about the melatonin making you woozy - so far, nothing for me!

[Carleeta]

Hi Carleeta, Thanks for replying. I didn't expect that the setbacks would be this bad. Yes, the thought of having this permanently is uncertainty, but since it seems that our doctor's didn't know this could happen how can we know that it will end for good. The anxiety and depression I feel are causing me to think the worst. How are you doing?

Kathy, yes your anxiety will make you feel this way.  Try and not give into this anxiety way of thinking.  No the doctors don't know, although neither do we, and in most cases most of the severe debilitating symptoms disappear.  Please give this more time.  As you have seen, you have had good days and this is a very good sign.   

[kathyms3150]

Hi Liz, I've tried Xanax and Valium but Klonopin always worked best. I think my anxiety is so severe I need a horse tranquilizer...lol. Years ago I tried melatonin and it didn't do anything for me. The last time I tried it, a couple months ago, I was right in the midst of the withdrawal, and I think that's why it made me dizzy. Praying that it starts helping you. Hugs, Kathy

[kathyms3150]

Carleeta, I'm trying hard not to think so negatively. Since losing my daughter it's very hard for me to think positively about anything. You're right though, the fact that I've had good days is a good sign. Thanks for your encouragement.

[TryinginFL]

Kathy

 

Please see my post (#9) on forum "Off Crapalta 6 Months or More..."

 

Love, hugs and prayers,

Liz

[Carleeta]

Carleeta, I'm trying hard not to think so negatively. Since losing my daughter it's very hard for me to think positively about anything. You're right though, the fact that I've had good days is a good sign. Thanks for your encouragement.

Kathy, I understand how horrible this is for you with the loss of your daughter.  It's certainly a dark walk alone for you.  I truthfully did forget you have lost her.  Please accept my apology for forgetting.  You are suffering more than just dropping your Cymbalta.  Although now that everything has come back to me, didn't you mention you have a support group (or online) which you and others are suffering from the same loss?  It's difficult to be going through two horrible experiences at the same time.  My losses were different than your, although they were severe for me.  This has to be 10 times stronger than I ever experienced.  I dislike asking you this, although for some reason I am being lead in this direction.  Have you talked to a medium?  Just wondering if you can connect with your daughter and this could bring some unsolved answers for you or make you feel as though she is with you at all times?  I will pray for your healing, as I care about you.....

[kathyms3150]

Kathy
 
Please see my post (#9) on forum "Off Crapalta 6 Months or More..."
 
Love, hugs and prayers,
Liz

(((Liz))) I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time over the loss of your precious daughter. Honestly, I don't think that it ever gets easier. There are times when we can deal with it a little better but going through this withdrawal makes it so much more difficult. No parent should have to bury their child. I understand what you mean about the numbness while on antidepressants and feeling like you didn't work out all of your feelings. For me, while I did have some of that numbness when Kate died, it wasn't enough that I wasn't able to get my feelings out. Hope that makes sense. I did go to Compassionate Friends and also a grief counselor. Maybe talking to a therapist will help you work out any feelings you weren't able to express when you were on the poison. Sending you lots of love, hugs and prayers too my friend. <3. Kathy

[kathyms3150]

Kathy, I understand how horrible this is for you with the loss of your daughter.  It's certainly a dark walk alone for you.  I truthfully did forget you have lost her.  Please accept my apology for forgetting.  You are suffering more than just dropping your Cymbalta.  Although now that everything has come back to me, didn't you mention you have a support group (or online) which you and others are suffering from the same loss?  It's difficult to be going through two horrible experiences at the same time.  My losses were different than your, although they were severe for me.  This has to be 10 times stronger than I ever experienced.  I dislike asking you this, although for some reason I am being lead in this direction.  Have you talked to a medium?  Just wondering if you can connect with your daughter and this could bring some unsolved answers for you or make you feel as though she is with you at all times?  I will pray for your healing, as I care about you.....

Carleeta, Please don't feel bad for forgetting about my daughter, there's no need to apologize. Yes, I belong to some groups on Facebook for mother's who have lost children. It's hard to imagine how many of us there are. It does help to talk to others walking walking in the same shoes. I would never diminish anyone's loss, but losing a child is the worst nightmare. Again, I know your losses are very painful too, I don't like to compare these things. When I first lost Kate I thought about going to a medium but then my faith got very strong and I didn't feel the need. My family and I have gotten signs that we know are from Kate. I know with all my heart that she's safe with the Lord and we will be reunited. It is hard to wait though. Thank you for your prayers and caring. My prayers and caring go out to you too. <3