3 replies to this topic

[IWantToFeelAgain]

Hi - new to the site but glad to have found a community that understand!

 

I am currently trying to come off cymbalta having been on it for about 4 years (prior to that I had been on Seroxat for years). I counted beads to reduce from 90mg to 60mg a year or so ago, and more recently with guidance from my doctor reduced to 40mg. 

 

This is where the issues really began. Since levelling off on 40mg (last 3 months), my mood has been quite low a lot of the time and I am unable to handle things. I have a stressful job and had to go off sick 2 weeks ago as I was starting to get suicidal thoughts quite frequently. I would be in meetings at work and the pressure would be building and i would be thinking of how best to kill myself. I don't know whether this is because of the withdrawals or because i really just can't cope with life.

 

I really want to come off of the meds (or try to) because I want to experience feelings again, i want to be able to cry, i want to be able to feel anger, joy etc. I also want a libido back (i have been on meds for many years and miss it ). In many ways the easy option is to go back up on my dose and go back to work, but i feel like that is merely putting a band aid on things, at some point the exact same situation will arise. I feel a lot better since taking time out of work but don't know how long I will be able to do that for. What i really want is some space to explore whether i am 1) able to come of cymbalta completely, and 2) able to live life free of medication. At this time the thought of going back to work brings back the suicidal thoughts!

 

I realise that it is possible that i will not be able to cope without medication and could be on it for life, however i don't want to lay on my deathbed regretting never trying to come off it.

 

My experience of doctors and psychiatrists has been poor, they just don't get what it is like and think it should be quite straight forward.

 

I am not expecting anyone to solve the situation for me, it would be good to hear what people think though.

 

Thanks,
MJ

[thismoment]

Hi MJ

 

Welcome!

 

I understand your dilemma. Can I ask you a couple of things?

 

Have conditions at work changed significantly in the past 6 months or so? I ask this because there could be a correlation between that and your depressing mood over the past few months. "At this time the thought of going back to work brings back the suicidal thoughts!"

 

"I want to experience feelings again. I want to cry and I want to be able to feel anger, joy etc." The state of emotional Flat-Line on Cymbalta is pretty common-- it happened to me, and that's why I had to get off. You say you've been getting depressed (anxiety too?), with suicidal thoughts-- while these emotions are not ideal, they are emotions and that's a start back!! And I understand the MIA libido (like MacArthur, it shall return). 

 

The thoughts about being stranded on Cymbalta for life are quite natural, but it's imaginary at this time and therefore not helpful to dwell on it. 

 

It's true-- the docs don't get it-- while I'm not suggesting you leave them out of the withdrawing loop, it's what I did: I just weaned myself off slowly by counting beads and I never went or looked back. It's clear to me that you want to explore the life without this drug, but are a little spooked to start-- I totally understand that. If your job was "better" (whatever that means to you), would that make the thought of withdrawing less daunting?

 

After 4 years of exposure it would be wise to bead-count very slowly down from the 40 mg-- something like 6 months-- perhaps at a rate of 1/2% (.5%) per day over 200 days, levelling off as required if symptoms become too strong. Let the symptoms guide your rate of withdrawal-- if it hurts, stop reducing each day and level off until you feel stable enough to continue.

 

You are investigating this at the same point-- and with the same symptoms-- as I did. If you want this to be over tomorrow or next week or next month, it won't work; it takes patience, dedication, and commitment to bead-count your way out of the woods. You can do it, and we will help.

 

Take care.

[lady2882Nancy]

Hey MJ

 

Wow you are describing the way I felt on Cymbalta as well as the feelings I got when I was reducing my dose "Down and wishing for the end". Everything stressed me out and gave me anxiety.

 

Have you ever thought of cross tapering to a different Antidepressant that has a longer half life than Cymbalta then once all your symptoms settle down you can gradually taper off the other Antidepressant without all the pain and agony and find out if you need an antidepressant or not. Just make sure that it isn't Effexor which is almost as bad as Cymbalta I hear.

 

There is a new topic "A Trick I Found Worked" which is new under Weaning off Cymbalta which you may be interested in.

 

Take care of you and be well, You are not alone

[IWantToFeelAgain]

Thank you both so much for your replies, they really have helped.

 

I am definitely keeping in mind the bead counting solutions (thanks for the advice around that), and also the other option around switching meds (my general doctor told me i couldn't do this when i asked), however i don't think he really knew what he was talking about! I had thought of this option of switching but there was no way he was going to do it for me and couldn't advise around it - so thanks for your suggestion as that arms me with some knowledge now! I will look at the topic you have referred to LadyNancy.

 

My predicament at the moment is whether because of my low mood to reduce further at this time or try to level out on the 40mg for a while.

 

Thismoment (in answer to your questions)...

 

Work has definitely become more stressful in recent months. If i was back on the 90mg I was originally on then, and I can't say for sure, then I would probably cope a lot better with it all. However on 40mg, with the added stress, it makes me have suicidal thinking. It is perhaps worth mentioning that at no prior time in my life have i had such strong suicidal thoughts, i have in the past wanted to not be alive, however the thoughts over the last couple of months have been more around how i would go about it. It is probably best that I add that these aren't thoughts I am giving serious thought to, however they are thoughts none the less and at times have come in quite a lot.

 

Work isn't the only thing that gives me these thoughts, my personal life also prompts them. Feelings of worthlessness etc.

 

I have also been experiencing a lot of anxiety, resulting in a number of panic attacks. The anxiety arises in all areas of my life, not just work.

 

It is great to hear you have never looked back. I do take a lot of comfort from that.

 

It would help a lot of my job was a lot less stressful, however I don't want to make a rash decision and leave a well paid job. I have considered whether they would allow me to take some unpaid leave (e.g. a year) in order to try to come off of the medication and allow myself some recovery time - this is just a thought though and i am not sure it would be allowed anyway.

 

Thanks again - it is great to have this place to speak to people who understand!

 

MJ