5 replies to this topic

[brzghoff]

this is my opinion - but it is based on research, study and most of all, my own experience. you may not agree - and of course i respect that - but if you are struggling with mental or physical symptoms of anxiety and nothing else works, please consider what i would like to share. 

 

many of you know that chronic anxiety has been the single lingering symptom i have experienced in the 17 months after coming off the C. it ebbs and flows but i now have many more good days than bad - sometimes a month or more at a time. however the past week and a half have been very tough - the level almost as high as my original weeks after withdrawal, which has been debilitating at times. anxiety is probably the single most common complaint all sufferers of SSRI/SSNRI withdrawal have in common. it is also common with other drug withdrawals as well. 

 

I pulled this list off a web site, anxietycentre.com. is it very comprehensive and eye opening. the web site in general has some good info, for a higher level of access you pay a fee - but it is not necessary, there is good info for free. they are a legit organization. i have also found it to be referenced by other anxiety websites that i trust including anxietyguru.net. however, anxiety guru does not "endorse" the anxiety centre web site and does not agree on every point they make. 

 

one other caution is from what i have learned from others is that their counseling services (fee based) do have a christian component and some folks would probably have a problem with that. personally, i think religion should not take place in therapy outside counseling you would receive from a pastor or certified church counselor. faith is helpful in personal recovery - but we don't all share the same faith or practice one at all. the free access info does not reflect any faith bias.

 

here's the list: 

http://www.anxietyce...ml#symptomslist

 

i will also add that i do not agree with everything on this site - such as viewpoints on medication and genetic predisposition, but if you choose to browse the rest of the site the points made in the "myths" section are fair to consider. i do not believe that anxiety is a black and white issue. however points made related to their "myths" section that i do agree with is how certain "beliefs" can hamper our recovery (even if there is some truth in them). 

 

what i learned from this list reinforces what i have come to believe over the last year and a half. our symptoms of withdrawal, physical and mental can be traced to anxiety - virtually every single one. of course, we also know that cymbalta withdrawal leads to a rebound of the symptoms related to the very condition for which we were taking the C. I have also realized that we can experience symptoms of the other conditions for which C is prescribed  - but perhaps not all of us. for example, those who took it for pain all of a sudden develop depression when coming off and those of us who took it for depression experience physical pain. 

 

what i found most interesting is that brain and body zaps are also symptoms of anxiety - which means sufferers who never took any anti-d's or other psychoactive drugs can experience them as well. we don't all share the same symptoms of anxiety - which is why i now understand why all of us don't experience the same symptoms of withdrawal either. for instance, i never experienced brain zaps or vision problems. 

 

this is not to say that the C withdrawal isn't responsible, because anxiety is a classic "rebound" symptom of withdrawal experienced by those who also took it for pain. 

 

my take away from all of this is that the anxiety hormones, of which cortisol is the worst, are POISON in high amounts. of course we have read numerous studies about the long term effects of high levels of cortisol pushing through our veins and into our brains. it is not only key to experiencing relief from anxiety symptoms, but to improve our overall general health as well. 

 

i firmly believe that it is very important to make a commitment to ourselves to do the work that will reduce anxiety. counseling - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - is extremely important. it is hard work but i am convinced it is the best of all possible treatments. there is NO MAGIC BULLET that we can take to get rid of our anxiety. medication may be a needed component in the short term but that does not absolve us of practicing the tools learned in therapy - it is not overnight, it takes time. it takes practice on a regular daily basis. we cannot get good at anything we don't practice whether that be driving a car, playing an instrument, skills related to your profession - and yes, getting anxiety under control. we can take years of therapy but we must be honest with ourselves as to whether or not we are really practicing - or just giving up too quickly. it can be confronting at times. recovery is not easy. frustration is a huge component to anxiety and it is understandable to feel after a short time in therapy to collapse on the floor screaming "i can't do this!" - i have literally done that. not practicing the skills learned in therapy is the primary reason that "therapy doesn't work" of course, it can take several tries to find the right therapist. if they aren't officially trained and certified in CBT, then they may not know how to appropriately train you. ask if they are specifically trained in CBT when making your first appointment. therapists who want to hold you hand,  delve into your childhood, "analyze" your past and deflect blame onto others are not doing anyone any favors. it may not be your fault but leaving it at that doesn't help your recovery. when i was first diagnosed with depression (no typical features of anxiety) i had a therapist like that, she was a sweet, kind woman but held me back for five years as she never gave me anything to work on. she didn't mean any harm, she was just not competent. had i gone to a therp that used CBT - i may never have needed any anti-d's in the first place. my classic anxiety symptoms only surfaced post withdrawal.

 

even if we are convinced that cymbalta and its withdrawal effects are responsible, our anxiety and getting it under control is the same as if we've had it all our lives. we cannot will it away and time is not a cure. symptoms fade but relapse is not uncommon. we also recognize that several months later new symptoms replace the old. worry and fear are not components of everyone's anxiety. not all of us have panic attacks. i never have (yet). only recently have i experienced shooting pains in my face and the metallic taste in my mouth and burning mouth sensations. 

 

again, i respect your thoughts and opinions on this subject, but i feel strongly enough to share what i know works for me and can work for you if given the chance. i wish you only the best in your recovery. 

 

with care, concern and love,

 

 

Brz

[Ramona80]

1. I don't know where I'd be right now without my therapist. He has been a lifeline for me. His approach is CBT, and he's been doing this for decades. This is the first therapist I've gone to that uses CBT, and I feel like it's exactly what I need. 

 

2. I agree with you that the symptoms, both physical and emotional, are anxiety based. I've had a lot of physical symptoms in the past 6 months of being jerked all around on Cymbalta, and I've even had doctors tell me that they're actually due to anxiety. The weak, painful legs, the chest pains, tightness of chest, the muscle spasms, the tingling, buzzing, vibrating feelings, and so on...they all turned out to be "fight or flight" symptoms, reflecting a brain that's on high alert. 

[brzghoff]

saw my therp yesterday first time in several months. my anxiety is due in large part because of my husband's intolerance of behavior he sees in me that he also exhibits himself. i have worked hard to change my behavior but he doesn't recognize that he also needs work. he suffers from anxiety also. i've think he has some type of personality disorder, albeit mild. he can be very passive aggressive. i know i can't change this but when he walks in the door my palpitations increase, my chest tightens and my concentration goes out the window. it takes no time at all for us to get into a heated argument. don't get me wrong i love him very much and i know he loves me as well. we've been together for 30 years and married for almost 25. 

 

 

this is how my therp suggest i look at it: lets suppose my husband does have a personality disorder. the question to me was how "should" someone act with a personality disorder? the answer , "exactly how he is acting now!" now lets say i was dealing with a 2 year old having tantrums and obviously doesn't understand logic. how is a two year old supposed to act? "exactly as they are now!" i can accept that behavior in a two year old without getting upset, that's how two years olds are "supposed" to act. my therp says look at my husband the same way. he has a personality disorder, he's going to act the way he does because that's how people with personality disorders are "supposed" to act. in order for me to handle my husband's behavior… accept it the way i do a two year old's behavior. he could be suffering from some other condition that might be easier to accept, PTSD after coming home from war, but accepting the behavior he exhibits due to the condition he has is really no different.

 

my options? 1) i can leave him ( i do not want to do that) 2) i can go on medication again (i don't want to do that) 3) accept his behavior - look at it as a disability knowing its not mine to control. number 3 is my choice. so now i go home and work on that. controlling my temper and anxiety is not going to happen overnight. it is a work in progress. however, last night my husband was very sweet. we got along well. he did use a demanding and what i call a "barking" tone at times but i worked on accepting it as just how he communicates and not take it personally. i also worked at forcing myself to smile. smiling can be a great mood-lifter. last night it worked! will it work today? who knows? but since i worked on it last night, felt i had results, it was a good practice run and gives me confidence i can do this. i went to bed last night with almost no anxious feelings and woke up the same way. so far today is good.

 

he has high expectations as to what "projects" we try to tackle and that they must be done in a certain amount of time. he gets upset if i don't get my projects done according to his expectations. if that happens today i will practice not reacting, accept that he is irrational and isn't aware of his behavior. if he isn't happy with how i approach a task i will simply tell him that i am doing the best i can and i am sorry i am not meeting his expectations - instead of flipping out at him. i will then continue to do my project and ignore him - while working on my deep breathing and mindfulness. if it coms to that - i will see if it works today. i might still get anxious, but its all about the practice.

[fishinghat]

I really sympathize brz. That is a difficult situation. If he won't recognize he has issues (many men won't) then your choices are truly limited. The effort to try and accept his limitations in behavior will be a difficult task. If you succeed, wonderful. If you don't then you will know you have tried everything you can to save the marriage and that will bring some comfort.

 

On a side note, in my extended family when spouses are emotionally incompatible they say something like 'You are allergic to your husband (or wife)'. I find that an interesting way to view it. lol

 

God bless and I wish you the best o luck and patience. I do not want you to self-destruct during this process so if adapting is just too much to handle than know when it is time to get out. Sometimes these things happen and people change. I hope you can succeed.

[brzghoff]

yesterday and today have gone well so far. i did have a short relapse yesterday after lunch, so i went to lay down. when i woke up i was even more anxious, however once i got up and active the feelings diminished quite a bit. another trigger also is getting overwhelmed about the future - plans can be a biggie. of course, anxiety is all about living in the future. we are leaving again next week to go up north and i know what needs to be done, but i get anxious when my husband starts going over the same list of things to get done again and again. that's his anxiety - he constantly repeats himself discussing plans for the future, but i don't need to review them again and again. i can get the stuff done. i am not sure why his repetitive discussions about "to do" lists are a trigger, other than thinking about all the stuff "to do" can be overwhelming. i'd rather just do it and cross it off the list! today has been much better for me i am keeping anxiousness under control. my anxiety triggers him and his does mine, so you can see how we can fuel each other. he recognizes that he suffers from anxiety - he just doesn't recognize his triggers and his behavior that manifests as a result. he thinks its all physical with a touch of uneasiness. 

 

annoyance is a normal reaction to his repetitive reviewing of what we "need to start thinking about" - anxiety is an over-reaction. that is the kind of stuff i am working on. not creating an out of proportion reaction. i've been working on recognizing that its okay to be annoyed, but its not scary. 

[fishinghat]

With time you will become more comfortable with the future and upcoming challenges.