As many of you know, anxiety is a struggle for me. i took my last cymbalta over 18 months ago. i went from a quasi taper that dropped me from from 30mg to 15mg to 0 in about a month. so, what we're talking about is cold turkey.
anxiety was an immediate side effect of stopping abruptly. i suffered extreme anxiety, but surprisingly i've never had a single panic attack. i had many many other physical and mental symptoms for about 6 months but they are now gone. at this point its just anxiety and its related components that remain (heart palpitations, racing heart, extremely uncomfortable gut-butterflies, dizziness, headaches, etc etc). it has nothing to do with the C any longer, not directly.
anxiety is the product of an antiquated fight or flight system - a holdover from our hunter gatherer days. it served us well when a hungry bear thought we might make a tasty meal. the sympathetic nervous system"protects" us from danger (what we fear) by keeping us in a state of "alertness". however, we have to tell it what it is we fear. this is where our self-talk gets us into trouble.
the only thing i fear is fear itself (with apologies to FDR). i am afraid of the anxiety that i felt when i first quit cymbalta. THAT is the cause of my anxiety, not any "imbalance" or "damage" or need for brain "re-wiring". there are other triggers, like a song, or an odor or taste of a food that reminds of the time when i first quit the C. they are just triggers.
most recently i've experimented with 5htp which has been effective. i stopped taking it about 7-10 days ago. in the long term i seek a non-medicated solution to my anxiety. in the short term, when i seek medicated relief, i choose to insure that it does no more than take off the edge. you read that right - i want to feel the anxiety. i want to know if it is still there or not. the reason? because it is important to feel the feelings of anxiety in order to accept them. acceptance is the key to my recovery. once i ACCEPT THE ANXIOUS FEELINGS as normal, my sympathetic nervous system will no longer have a need to put me in the alert fight or flight state. accepting the anxiety is my way of telling my system its not scary - its not something of which i'm afraid. if i have nothing to fear - it can turn off my "alert" system - and that, is when the anxiety stops! trying to suppress anxiety only makes it stronger because that means i am telling myself (my sympathetic nervous system) that it is something to be feared.
claire weekes, an australian physician wrote several books on dealing with what she called "nervous illness". she called the acceptance of anxiety "floating" and encourages anxiety sufferers to allow the feelings of anxiety to wash over us and let them pass. i've found many references to her on the web from sites i've come to respect. one i've mentioned before, http://www.anxietyguru.net. i found another site yesterday that gets to the heart of the matter very quickly, http://www.panicend.com. both sell books, very cheap and you don't have to buy them. all you need to know can be found in the site's content and forums.
what is most interesting, is these sites validate what i've discovered on my own, as well as reinforce strategies i've learned with my therapist who specializes in REBT, rational emotive behavioral therapy, the predecessor to CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. i haven't seen my therapist since september but i really feel i've had a breakthrough in the past several days thanks to these web sites. i'm very excited!
both web sites are relatively direct at identifying what it takes to overcome anxiety. i especially like this blog http://panicend.com/stop_panic.html
this is not to say that anxiety won't return. the idea is to become increasingly de-sensitized to the point where anxiety is rather innocuous - unless, of course, the bear is actually trying to eat me ;-)
