10 replies to this topic

[emoothart]

All the things:

 

Two of my kids are in a theater performance - this is week 2 of 4 - lots of late nights and then grumpy kids the next day. I love that they're having this opportunity, but it is hard!

 

Thursday's "brain slosh" feeling.  Didn't hurt but it was bizarre and kind of scared me.

 

My parents are in town for the weekend to see the kids' show.  I love my parents but visits with them are HIGH STRESS for me because of our past history.  

 

My father in law came home from the hospital - the whole family is stressed out - the doctors are pushing for hospice care but the family is divided on whether that is appropriate.

 

This morning a friend came to visit - I was happy to see her but her oldest son has autism so the visit was really chaotic.  Chaos is SO HARD for me.  

 

An hour ago I had an anxiety attack, and although I got through it with breathing exercises I still feel right on the edge of another one, as well as totally exhausted.  

 

I try so hard to hold everything together, especially for my kids and now for my husband who is dealing with so much grief and stress, but I'm so. tired.  I want to give up and sleep, forever and ever.  

 

Sorry to be so negative.

[fishinghat]

Emily, it would be hard not to be negative under those conditions. My brother used hospice in his last month or so and I was impressed with their care.

[gail]

Hi Emily,

Anxiety attacks are so exhausting, I can relate to your sayings. I, also would like to sleep forever in those times and never wake up.

You have something to help ease the edge in those times?

With the kids around, that must be quite an experience. Lucky me, during that time, I was doing OK. It is already hard without having the kids to deal with!

I raise my hat to you! remember that members here are praying real hard for you and others and that all passes eventually...thank God!

[Carleeta]

Emily, WOW life is truly chaotic for sure in your home life.  How is is possible to stay even keeled? It isn't.  The average person would be full of anxiety, so  of course you will be feeling this way.  First, I want to express my sadness for your father in law and the family.  Hospice is truly wonderful.  I realize you there are some issues here with making this decision and I understand this also.  Hopefully this does not turn into and argumentative decision.  If it does, remind everyone this is not about them, and it's about what is best for your father in law.  I also understand there are many individuals who would rather have their loved one in a hospital type setting than in their home.  It's truly a touch decision.  I'm a volunteer for the Hospice in our area.  What I do is A the calls to see how the families are doing; during and after hospice.

 

Your friend's child who has autism must have her hands full.  It's very understandable how this could have been a very anxious day for you and now the upcoming weekend.  Just take a walk around the block, catch a second wind, and then lay down for a bit.  These are challenging times for you

while you are in the midst of cymbalta craziness.

 

Wishing you the best and sending prayers and hugs to you

[emoothart]

Thanks everyone.  Carleeta, I love that you volunteer for hospice.  I've had three grandparents go through hospice care and every time it has been SO good.  I hope that my FIL will be able to die peacefully at home as well.  The difference is that he is 62 instead of 82, and I think it is a lot harder for family to let go in cases like that. 

[Raven72]

Emily, I am sorry that I didn't get to respond before now but I have restricted internet access when not at work.

 

I am so sorry for your rough patch, but I can relate. I had a rough couple of weeks and myself. I commend you through for being such a strong person with all that you have going on. You are a very strong girl and God is truly by your side. I may not be able to relate to Autism but my son as well as myself are both ADHD so I know what dealing with something like that is. I hope that you gain strength physically and mentally in the days to come. I will keep your father-in-law in my prayers.

 

<Raven>

[emoothart]

I wanted to let you know that my father-in-law has passed away.  We were able to bring him home on hospice care for his last days, and he was surrounded by family.  He died peacefully in his sleep.  

 

Those were two extraordinarily difficult weeks for our family, as we were driving out (1-2 hours each way) almost every day to be with family.  Hard on the kids, hard on me, obviously hard on my husband.

 

Now that the funeral is over and we are getting back a little bit of normalcy in our life, I'm continuing to wean down.  Three days ago I started bead counting in order to take approximately 55mg (instead of 60). Fishinghat or gail or someone...that's an ok dosage change, right?

 

The biggest change (which I noticed right away) is that sleeping is SO difficulty. (Sleep issues have always been my main side effect, whether due to med increases, decreases, or just taking my dose too late in the day.) Either I can't fall asleep (hence, this midnight post!) or my sleep is light and unsettled and I don't feel like I'm quite all the way asleep.  This lasts until about 4-5am at which point I sleep hard until my toddler wakes me up between 6-7am.  Then I'm exhausted and yawning all day.  Any suggestions for how to improve this?

[fishinghat]

Most start dropping at a rate of around 1% per day.  Your drop was around 8%, too much in my opinion. Personally I would go backup to 60 for a couple days then start back down at a slower rate. You might get lucky though. Your choice.

[Raven72]

Emily I am so sorry for that your father-in-law passed.  I am glad though that he was surrounded by family.  May God be with you and your family during this difficult time.

 

Love,

Raven

[Carleeta]

Emily, first let me say how sorry I am for the loss of your father in law.  This is a terrible loss and you, your husband, and your family have gone through so much pain.  My prayers do go out to you and your family.  It's hard enough to go through a loss and now  you are trying to wean yourself of cymbalta.  I do agree with Fishinghat that your drop is way too much (in my opinion also).  Like Fishinghat stated, try and please go back up to the 60mgs and start from there once again.  It's difficult right now for you to stay focused on all you've gone through.  So if you can, please start nice and fresh at 60mgs and take it much slower than you have been.....  Please keep us posted.

[Lorelei67]

Have you tried either melatonin or ashwaganda to help you sleep? I am currently using the ashwaganda, and have noticed it has started to help. I still am not falling asleep as quickly as I would like, but it has gotten better than it was a week ago, and once asleep, I am staying asleep. Hang in there. We all feel your pain.