Hi everyone,
I came here about 2.5 years ago to find info on getting off of Cymbalta. I had been on it for about 5 years (60mg), and due to a major botching of how patients were handed off during the transition when my old doctor retired, my prescription was unable to be delivered, the new doctors office didn't think to let me know there was an issue... I was already 3 days deep without having my prescription so I decided to stick with it and continue cold turkey as I was planning on getting off soon anyway. That was NOT how I wanted to do it at all, I wanted to ween, but since I was so mishandled in the transition, I didn't trust the new doctor and her office, and it took me awhile to find another doctor since I had no insurance - cold turkey was my only option....
And what a horrible option that was. Months of brain zaps, my right side was numb and tingling constantly (I could pat myself on the face and not feel it), nausea, problems sleeping, instantly becoming irritated and enraged, muscle spasms (many things broke during this time since I couldn't keep a grip on anything)... I mean I ran through the gamut of most of the side effects everyone else has dealt with on here. But after 6 months 90% of all the physical effects had subsided, by the end of a year they were completely gone. But that brings me to my next part of the update along with some questions for those who have been off it long term.
After the year mark, although the physical symptoms were gone, mentally I still don't feel right. I feel as though the emotional numbing somehow pent itself up so I had to deal with a 5 year backlog of feelings that I thought I had dealt with an passed. If you've ever seen The Crow, where at the end Eric Draven put his hands on the villian's head and makes him experience 8 hours of his fiances pain, all at once - that's what it feels like emotionally. I feel like I'm still sorting all of this out, I have problems handling situations and my emotions but I'm learning healthy ways to deal with it. After another year of learning to handle my anxiety better, sorting through that emotion backlog has gotten easier, although I could still cry over the simplest things (I guess that just makes up for not feeling or crying for 5 years while on it)
My main issue, and question to those that have been off it for awhile; do you still feel like yourself? I feel like I've lost myself somewhere along the way. It's been so long that I don't remember how I used to be before the cymbalta. I don't know if it's something that the Cymbalta caused, or the withdrawal, or if this is just what it feels like to live with un-medicated anxiety again. I used to be an avid video gamer and that was one of my best stress relievers, but now I just sit and look at my games but have no motivation to actually begin playing. I've become more withdrawn from my social circles, and the more time I spend alone the more difficult it is to try and get out. I find immense comfort in being alone now but I also really miss social interaction. Has anyone else felt this way? Any suggestions? I would love to feel like myself again but I'm not sure after this 7.5 year long ride that the "me" I remember is still there
I appreciate anyone that took the time to read through my experience. I'm not trying to terrify anyone with what I went through. I firmly believe that the symptoms I experienced were made worse because of 1.) going cold turkey and 2.) the intense stress I was dealing with because of the whole doctor issue compounded with other personal issues. Words of encouragement to those getting off of Cymbalta currently, no matter how you are doing it - It WILL get better. It may take way longer than you thought, but it will get better and you will get through it. There were some really...really bad days that made me question a lot, but those days become less frequent. You can get through this.
