[MaureenV]

Oh lord, I recognize this.


I mentioned this a month or so ago, saying I kept being suspicious of our two new kittens, and was inspecting them for fleas, but no, I was the only bug.

Mine weren't/aren't as bad as yours as they're not fluid filled, but certainly otherwise the itchiness drives me crazy, and they are tiny little things, groups of them, like flea bites.

(Although I have had several fluid filled tiny otherwise painless blisters inside my mouth in the last month - and I've never had them before in my life.)

I tried moisturizing all over but in a way that made it worse, even though my skin HAD been dry.

I found Pinetarsol good (Australian though I think). But it stinks. And stains clothes.

What DId work well was a talc called Curash. Again, may be Australian, but there should be similar elsewhere.

Seems to happen mostly on my arms, shoulder blades and underneath my thighs.


yours in scratching,

Maureen.

[MaureenV]

p.s. I should have said 'no longer fluid filled' because some in the earlier days were.

Only a very few, and then once I started tapering rather than just trying to alternate days they've just become tiny little things.

Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

I would have them checked out, as they could also be shingles. That what they look like, and
coming off this is very stressful to the body, and that is one of the things that causes this
to breakout in many people.

Is it painful? Do they pop, and then just go away, or do they say open, like a little wound?

Just to be on the safe side, and so you don't treat it with something that may not be the
right thing, and only cause it to spread, go see the doctor.

Also here's the site with a list of all the withdrawl symptoms
http://prozactruth.com/cymbalta.htm

Good luck, and I hope it's on the list so you can see what your dealing with.
Once you see what the withdrawl symptoms are you will be blown away.

Love,
Debbie

[MaureenV]

Hi Madtabby,


Re the Detol, pinetarsol is a bit piney, but i think that's mainly to disguise the ghastly tar smell; as I say to people, apologies for smelling like a newly laid road.

I did think it was Australian, but there must be some version there - it's a widely used product for itchiness, bites, eczema, psoriasis, etc. Initially I was scratching them until I bled, but now try to slap something on them as soon as they're itchy, or put my eczema ointment on the trouble spots after a shower, which seems to help.

I didn't think of shingles (which I had as a teenager), but thought they were mainly on your trunk, and mainly followed 'nerve' lines. That was too long ago for me to remember what the little beggars were like.

AGREED: thank god Mersyndol is OTC. I actually managed to mostly sleep without it last night, and this morning's headache is not as bad as other days, but for a few nights there Mersyndol saved me.

(We've always got 2 - 3 animals so been there, done that, with the fleas.)


Cheers, Maureen.

[MaureenV]

Oh o.k. if it's a competition, can we add the native magpies which we feed?

Our council limits the number of animals you can have.

We did have two little cats, but had a sad accident with one, just over a week ago, who was a desperate tree climber.


We even went to the effort of trying to barricade dangerous branches, chopped off others, etc etc. I've never seen such a desperate 'jumper'. She'd even jump onto everything in the house, including up on your back if you were close to a chair.

poor little girl. Now our other 8 month old wanders around miaowing for her.


:( Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

Madtabby,
Good job looking up the shingles! The thing is on the internet, they do look different than
in person, I would just have them checked out. Oh I know what I forgot to ask do they
hurt at all. Yes they do itch like crazy.

I had all kinds of skin problems during the withdrawls, well stilll getting them now that I
did another 5 mg decrease. My skin is so dry on my shins, and the tops of my feet. My
skin used to come off in sheets when I first started all this withdrawling stuff.

How are you doing today? What's going on with you feeling wise, and physically?

Hope it's getting smoother.

Love,
Debbie

[MaureenV]

Whew!! for a minute there I thought the liver cookies were for humans, and was making a mental note to reject offers of cookies if ever in Canada.

It sounds as though your body really needed that time out. I do hope it's going to make you feel better in the coming days.


Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

madtabby,
I am so sorry to hear that you really having such an awful time. It really makes me so angry as hell
to think what this drug has done to so many of us. The Central Nervous System is really affected by
the withdrawl process, it's talked in length, as in the Neurological System in the withdrawl sysmptons
site that I always give out.

I too had strange symptoms while on this drug, in fact it's sometimes hard to tell the difference,
except when I feel mental clear on my good days.

Your the first person, other than myself who has not had the brain zaps. What I did get even when
I missed a dose for d day or two was this weird clangging like noise in my head, but then would go
back on it, and they stopped rightaway.

What I am getting is these electrical shocks in my lower teeth on the right side. I will go and have
the dentist look at it, but it is on the WD list too.

I just am so sorry that your going through this awful time.

Love,
Debbie

[MaureenV]

"The fans blowing from both sides made me feel like they were blowing my brain back and forth in my skull. More of an annoying feeling than anything else."


Hi Madtabby,

I found at the times when I was not tapering properly that I was incredibly sensitive to noise. Not just loud noise, but the general everyday noise of people's voices etc. Despite that, my hearing actually got worse. Weird.

Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

madtabby,
So glad to hear your doing better. I really am too. The Prozac is giving me some energy! I don't want to
do anything at all, that is stilll my problem. It is like it was when I was on the full strength. It really did
something to me mentallly, cut me off from all real people. It takes everything in me to just call my two
sponsors, and then while I am on the phone with them it feel akward(sp).

I did get the laundry done yesterday which I am so proud of myself. I know that may sound stupid, but for
me it's hughe to do something like that. I also have such a bad back, and live in so much pain that that
soesn't help either. I used to be so out going, and real hyper. Really enjoyed being a nurse, and working.

Well I am just staying on this dose for a couple more days, adn then will do then next decrease.
It's just that the last one was so bad, and the withdrawls didn't hit me until the 9 the day, so that really
freaked me out. I am just so tired of putting one foot in from of the other! I just want to get a life.

Hope today is good for you.

Debbie

Oh I know what I wanted to ask you is I am on 25 mg, and want to decrease it by 2.5 mg so how
much do I take out?

[MaureenV]

Mad tab haven't read the rest of your post yet, but 180 balls is 20mg.


???


Maureen.


Or did you mean taking out 180 balls from a 60mg capsule to leave 40mg???


o.k. I've read it again and I think you mean you're down to 40mg because you've removed 180 balls from a 60mg. ??


To be honest, I think staying at a level for a week or so is not a bad idea. Once you feel better you can maybe start a further decrease. For me, until I got down to 5mg, I found it better to do little hops down; each time I did I noticed some mild increase in symptoms, letting me know I was doing the right thing not going faster, then these would disappear within a week, which is when I'd do the next drop.



One time when our little bichon/cavlier cross wasn't well, I gave her a very old largish wheat warmer as she was shivering. Got up next morning to find she'd ripped open the cover and eaten the very old, very dead wheat. Nevertheless, she was fairly productive over the next few days. Talk about fibre.


cheers, Maureen.

[MaureenV]

Hi Madtabby,


sorry to hear how things are for you. Very difficult to sort out what's caused what and what's causing what.


Hate of hear of all the difficulties with the animals though; they should be a source of joy in the household. Not that my husband would agree with the 'joy' bit after the new cat, Archie - only 1yo but 4.6kg - pounced on his stomach in the middle of the night.

I think that's a wise move with the Cymbalta. I know you want this out of your system, but if you don't do it slowly, you'll always be wondering if you're unmasking underlying symptoms, or if you're suffering withdrawal symptoms, given how similar they are.

I understand exactly what you're saying about your relationship getting worse as you come off the drugs. While in the warm fuzzy place of Lexapro/Cymbalta treatment I decided that there was nothing wrong with my relationship that wasn't in my control (when prior to that I'd been thinking separation was inevitable). It's going to survive, but I can see everything more clearly now and there's more friction now that I've stopped just accepting the c**p that happens along the way.

I can't urge you more strongly to get your hands on that book: Mating in Captivity (Esther Perel). The book's available widely. One thing it taught me was that we can't just go back to our original relationship because both parties have changed. In your case your partner may be wary of committing to the relationship being ongoing because he may not actually be too sure which one is the real Madtabby. But the other thing, the main thing I learnt from all the case studies is that it is virtually never one sided, EVEN if it's just the way we respond to the change in the other person. You're not the person he knew years ago - it's impossible because he's not behaving like the person you knew. Make sense?

You hear so often with couples saying 'they've changed' as though they themselves behave exactly the same way they did when they first met.


p.s. I thought you had more than one cat?


cheers, Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

Hi Maureene, and madtabby,
Just listening to all that you have been talking about brought up so much for me, it was so strange.
I had been reading other stuff elsewhere too.

The thing with relationships is that no two people ever stay the same, but also when you you meet
someone we have on a different mask too. We act, and talk different, dress nicer, the guy dresses
how he dresses when we first met them, then down the road woment start to hate the way they
dress. Same goes for the guy, they loved everything about her at first, and then after awhile he
starts saying things like I don't want you to dress like that anymore. This is how it is where I am
from anyway. We just have that "Honey Moon" phase for a few months, and then the ego boundries
bounce back to the "real me"because we can only not be who we are for so long.

God I hope this is making sense, I still have the hardest time putting into words what I want to say!!

Then all of a sudden one has to go on meds, lets just say they were a wee depressed, no acting
weird or psychotic. Anyway if the other partner does not have a strong sense of self they can end
up taking this on as their problem, their fault, they are not good enough, personalize it, or blame
the other for just being nuts because they have to be on meds. So then the person on the meds
feels all these feelings that they are already having, add the stuff, and behavior of their once
loving partner, and it just makes you feel responsible, and more depressed, angry, what ever.

I do think it takes a very special person, well informed, knowing it's not about them, and wanting
the relationship more than anything else bacause they love that person. It is really hard to do all
of this stuff that we are going through, and we do need our souse to be there for us. If they can't
be, then why do I really have them there? To support me, I have no place else to go, I love him anyway?
I just think it's sad for the person who is taking the meds to not be getting the suppport, and having to
deal with all the fighting, and other crap. Your in therapy, and that's not working either, it does
sound like too much water has gone under the bridge.

Well I have not a clue if I even came close to getting my point across. I feel very disconnected today, and
it makes me so mad. I was a writer once, and now can't put sentences together in my mind or down that
to me sound like they make any sense at all.

I guess it just pisses me off when I hear what some are going through with their signifigant others, and
having to deal with trying to get off the crap. I am so angry right now looking at my life, what there is
of it right now, all due to Cymbalta. I have no friends, stilll think crazy thoughts, it is better yes, and I
am grateful, but I still feel so out of it, and like a freak at times.

tabby,
That was something I wanted to say about you, and you spouse. With you going through the withdrawls
and your thinking it's just you or something is wrong with you. I just had to go back and read all the
withdarwl symptoms yesterday. I needed to read what it does to your thinking, I think it might be
good for you to read them too! Because this so makes our thinking not normal, can cause paranoia,
and so much more in our minds. It is the drug, and not you!!!!

Debbie

[Junior]

Tabby

I just posted elsewhere that you needed to 'go to the well' on hubby's side of the family but having read this thread...maybe I was wrong. I'm so sorry that things aren't going well for you right now. I can't imagine how tough that must be - going through all of that AND trying to withdraw from Cymbalta.

I'm a bit like Debbie..can't always connect my thoughts well enough to put them down on paper (or computer!) ... but... I was wondering what hubby's background is like. I think you said his family is very supportive.. but have they dealt with people being on psychotropic drugs before? Maybe he feels overwhelmed? Maybe, like many people, his natural response is to flee? Whatever the case, and I realise this is easy for me to say, this is a time when you really need to work on you. With so many years of what can be termed 'emotional abuse' behind you, and so many years of discovery (about yourself) lost to the drug regime you've been on, you need this time to work out your identity and what you want out of life. I haven't had the emotional abuse and my 10+ years on Paxil were my choice, but I DO know what it is like having to work out who you are and what you want out of life. I went through that after several failed attempts at IVF, which followed my son's diagnosis (my only child) of autism and intellectual disability.

Whatever happens...just know that we are all here for you.
Warm regards
Junior

[nursedeborah]

tabby,
I am just so sorry that you have this kind of relationship. I also know that we tend to pick mates
that are a little bit like both of our parents, sometime one parent more than the other, but it is
usually a mixture of both.

I too have always followed my PMS, I really started doing it back in 1989, as I had such terrible
PMS. The things I did were not that of a sane person at all.

I seem to always pick men who are not there for me emotionally, but in the start it is always there
for me to see it, yet I have my blinders on.

I have had so much abuse since I was little up until I left my last boyfriend to last me two life times.
I totallly understand where your coming from.

Always here for you!

Love,
Debbie

[MaureenV]

HI Tabby,


Good to hear the positive tone to you voice.

You made me laugh about the dog. There's a great book for kids in Australia about a pet wombat, who thinks he's being helpful when he's being a complete nightmare. He even chews through the back door. We're digging out a tree stump at the moment and the two cats found it entertaining to play there recently after rain, then came inside and scampered over the new, pale blue furniture. Perfectly formed little muddy paw prints all over it. Charming. But we love them anyway, eh?

It's great that you feel you're working WITH your doctor now, too.

cheers, Maureen.

[nursedeborah]

Hey you two,
Both stories were funny about the cats, and the dog.
I just ran into an old neighbor I had years back that had a dog, chocolate lab,
named Remington. He used to come in my back yeard every Sunday, roll in the
poop right before they went to church, and I would always tell them to go on, and
I would wash him up.

Hewas so funny, he really hated church I guess, because that was the onlt day of
the week he did that!!

I forget about me "Doxie's" I had over the years, now there are some really great
stories to tell.

I will have to start throwing my dog, and cat stories in now too!

Debbie

[MaureenV]

Debbie - please do - part of any recovery is finding 'off topic' things which brighten our day and make us laugh.

The more we're able to focus on 'other' things, the stronger we are when it comes to dealing with the rubbish stuff.


Maureen.

[Junior]

Hi all

I don't know what I'd do without my cats. We lock them out of the bedroom at night because, when we lived at the other place, they would come in and out at will. It was ok if they just got on the end of the bed and curled up but often they wanted affection, food, to get IN the bed... If Poppi wanted food she'd just keep coming back. Every half hour. Grrrrrrrrrr... We couldn't lock them out though because the bathroom was across the hall and if we had to go... they'd make sure they got in. Now we have an ensuite :)

Anyhow, they've cottoned on to that fact that hubby is up and about at 6am. He leaves for work at 6.30am.. So, as soon as he leaves the room to get his breakfast, they rush in to see me!! Well, Snags does. Poppi is more inclined to ask for biscuits first. Priorities! So I get Snags wanting to rub his wet nose all over my face after which he curls up under my left armpit. Usually by the time he has settled, Poppi turns up. She sits on my chest and purrs and dribbles. Sheeesh! Too bad if I wanted to sleep a little longer!

Maureen, I love your story about the muddy paws on the couch. We have a choc brown lounge suite so it doesn't show the dirt so much but we still end up with ginger fur everywhere :-I

But I love them. They drive me nuts but I wouldn't be without them. I think ....
Junior

[MaureenV]

Hi Madtabby,


Although the itchiness has completely disappeared, I still sometimes (not every time) get these little lumps coming up with a drop in Cymbalta. Interestingly, now that the itchiness has gone from the rest of my body, the little lumps are not itchy either. The ones in this picture are a week old so nearly gone, but my daughter had her camera handy so got her to take a pic. Only one turned into a fluid-filled blister, the others were just little red bumps, some of them not round.


http://i38.tinypic.com/1qihas.jpg


cheers, Maureen.