Hi - new to the site but glad to have found a community that understand!
I am currently trying to come off cymbalta having been on it for about 4 years (prior to that I had been on Seroxat for years). I counted beads to reduce from 90mg to 60mg a year or so ago, and more recently with guidance from my doctor reduced to 40mg.
This is where the issues really began. Since levelling off on 40mg (last 3 months), my mood has been quite low a lot of the time and I am unable to handle things. I have a stressful job and had to go off sick 2 weeks ago as I was starting to get suicidal thoughts quite frequently. I would be in meetings at work and the pressure would be building and i would be thinking of how best to kill myself. I don't know whether this is because of the withdrawals or because i really just can't cope with life.
I really want to come off of the meds (or try to) because I want to experience feelings again, i want to be able to cry, i want to be able to feel anger, joy etc. I also want a libido back (i have been on meds for many years and miss it ). In many ways the easy option is to go back up on my dose and go back to work, but i feel like that is merely putting a band aid on things, at some point the exact same situation will arise. I feel a lot better since taking time out of work but don't know how long I will be able to do that for. What i really want is some space to explore whether i am 1) able to come of cymbalta completely, and 2) able to live life free of medication. At this time the thought of going back to work brings back the suicidal thoughts!
I realise that it is possible that i will not be able to cope without medication and could be on it for life, however i don't want to lay on my deathbed regretting never trying to come off it.
My experience of doctors and psychiatrists has been poor, they just don't get what it is like and think it should be quite straight forward.
I am not expecting anyone to solve the situation for me, it would be good to hear what people think though.
Thanks,
MJ