I tapered off an 8 month course of cymbalta in Jan-March. I couldn't do 10% intervals precisely (my doctor thought it was sufficient to use 5 mg pills at a compounding pharmacy). I went from 60 to 0 over 3 months in fairly even 5-10 mg cuts (using 20 mg pills to make the math work). In the last month, I've had a few bad things happen which were inciting depression / anxiety - but I've also felt extraordinarily messed up. This list of things was happening all just in the last month, and although I had some of it before - it was far worse than the worst I've ever had it.
- Migraines
- No sex drive
- Unbelievable suicidal ideation & extensive / obsessive planning of how it was going to be done & where / when , etc.
- Complete mess / nothing getting done / no focus
- Gained 20 lbs (in three months!) - I've been close to the same weight since college (15 years ago), but recently I have had a craving for food to the point where it's almost like self-injury. I eat absolute crap food in enormous quantities. I could easily eat healthy, but instead, I order papa johns...and eat massive amounts (entire pizzas, breadsticks, brownies, etc... and am still hungry, rather, have "the munchies" - it's hard to explain)
- Muscle pain
- Exhaution / lethary / not moving
- Nightmares
- Insomnia
- Anger / picking fights w/ people / overreaction to everything / Isolation (it all kind of goes together for me)
- Waking up more tired than when I went to bed
- Migraines and pain in my face / sinuses
- Heart pounding, especially in AM
I went to a PsyD during this period to try to "talk through" the issues, and that was horrible. I ended up hating him. He told me to "live with the discomfort" and did psych 101 crap about my food issues stemming from a "lack of control" and if i cooked more, I would have more control (did I mention I could barely stand?). He told me that it was ok to gain weight and I should accept it... and then said I had body dysmorphia. (I am 6'1 and 210 lbs, 30% fat... used to be 190, 18% fat...this is dysmorphia?). He also liked to tell me (repeatedly) how "I wasn't special and am too convinced that my problems are unique" - wtf? Ok, yeah I am not the only person w/ depression, right... but how is that helping??
Anyway, today... I opened the drawer to take a klonopin or propranolol for the racing heart (those have become mostly useless as well since the taper) and I saw the duloxitine bottle there... and I was just like, well - it won't do anything, but I'll take it just to see - I can barely even walk from 1 room to another at this point (no energy, muscle pain).
Within 2 hours, I am 70% back to normal and almost everything on that list is gone.
Am I going completely crazy? Is that even possible? 2 hours? Is this the biggest placebo effect on earth? Am I even crazier now than I was 24 hours ago? (I can get to the fear that my brain is permanently damaged another time...)
I was never even that "normal" on cymbalta. That's one of the reasons I stopped it. I had almost no benefit (2 months of anti-depressant effects then nothing - raised dose to 90 - then massive insomnia within days - so I went off).
I don't know what is going on... I just know that the last month has been pure hell, and my body looks like I am wearing a suit of fat... and suddenly, all the pain and clouds over my head and eyes are gone - and I feel like I can actually think and function.