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#31 MaureenV

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    Am trying to get off Cymbalta 30mg and wondering about brain zaps.

Posted 23 October 2009 - 01:40 AM

Hmm, I see what you mean - I can understand why you don't want to wait to reduce further. Damned shamed there's no 10mg capsule.

How about talking to the ortho surgeon? He's the one who'd be in charge of your drug regime when you're in hospital.

If you were able to 'make up' sufficient capsules with your dose you're taking at the time, in a clearly labelled container, it might work. I have no idea what the hospital's take on it would be. Probably vary from hospital to hospital. With your doctor's o.k. though, I would have thought that would cover you.


As I said earlier, I DO understand a hospital's need to have drugs coming in in their original container, but your case both doesn't fit the bill, AND our method of tapering off is not acknowledged by a large part of the medical profession as even being a good idea.

What do you think of talking to the surgeon. (Or probably better, sending him an email or fax detailing the info. A phone call is prone to misunderstandings.)


Maureen.

(No I didn't think they would be both at once, unless you had major major home support and badly wanted it all over with. An aunt had both hips replaced at once because she chose to have a ghastly six months rather than two only half ghastly periods.)

#32 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 23 October 2009 - 08:59 AM

Since My doc recommended opening the capsules, I am going to talk to her, since I have a pre op with her next week. However, WHAT the heck if the medically approved way to taper since 20 is all we are left with????????????????????????
Maureeen, your help is invaluable, thank you!!

#33 nursedeborah

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    I am reallly trying to get off Cymbalta, and not having, well I am having nightmares even with the decreased does, and clanging in my head.

    I just found this site, and I really need help, I can't do this, I fear I willl never get off this brutal medication.

    Deboreah Wesson

Posted 23 October 2009 - 11:07 AM

V,
Just to let you know about taking meds with you to the hospital. They do allow it with a doctors order,
and to be kept at the patient's bedside to be taken by patient. Also when we do hand you your pills
they are out of the containers that they came in, so you could take the Cymbalta, and remove how
ever many beads that you want to.

Trust me we are so busy, and at times patients are eating their meals, gone to the bathroom, so we
just leave them at the bedside anyway. Not like it used to be in the olden days when I first became a
nurse.

Your other option is to make them all up, you will probally only be there about 3-4 days, and just take
your own. Patients can always refuse their meds, and others are never given because they refuse the
one they didn't take. It's your right as a patient to take a drug or not, same thing with treatment.

As for your BP during the surgery, and all the IV fluids, there really isn't that much to be concerned
about as your well monitored!!! At all times during the procedure, and we know just what to do to
keep all you vital signs within normal limits.

Hope that helped, if I were you, I would stay on one dose until after the surgery. Maureene is right
about the pain deal. It never helped my pain, or depression for that matter.

Being that your going to have enough pain after the surgery(it's not that bad, or that long I should say)
but it's just better to not add anymore pain to what else you already have going on. Just an opinion.

Debbie

#34 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 23 October 2009 - 05:32 PM

Debbie thanks for taking the time to help me, you will never know how invaluable it is.
Vanessa

#35 MaureenV

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    Am trying to get off Cymbalta 30mg and wondering about brain zaps.

Posted 23 October 2009 - 06:55 PM

Since My doc recommended opening the capsules, I am going to talk to her, since I have a pre op with her next week. However, WHAT the heck if the medically approved way to taper since 20 is all we are left with????????????????????????
Maureeen, your help is invaluable, thank you!!



I agree. The only way any realistic tapering could be suggested for a drug which can't be split 'easily' is for them to produce a 15mg and a 10mg and a 5 mg. And, as my GP said, that's not gonna happen because if it was accepted by both the company and the medical profession that many people need this level of help to get off, no one's going to prescribe it anyway.

Remember you can buy the clear gelatine capsules if you don't want to support Eli Lilly buy buying any more of the drug.

Also make sure that whoever agrees to you taking in your own 'made-up' Cymbalta, gives you the o.k. in writing.

cheers, Maureen.

#36 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 24 October 2009 - 12:32 AM

Problem is, I am still depressed, however I doubt Iwill take anything else.
V

#37 MaureenV

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Posted 24 October 2009 - 12:37 AM

I can see you're online so I'll just say I'll answer this later, have to go to an 80th!!

Maureen.

#38 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 24 October 2009 - 12:39 AM

Funny I am in bed goodnight/have fun.
V

#39 MaureenV

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    Am trying to get off Cymbalta 30mg and wondering about brain zaps.

Posted 24 October 2009 - 03:32 PM

Hi Vanessa,


thanks for the good wishes. Drank too much red wine, ate too many little yummy things (baby puff pastry cups filled with caramelized onion and a dollop of goat's cheese anyone?).


The bugger with coming off anti-depressants is trying to work out whether any depression which appears is underlying depression which has been unmasked or whether it's a temporary withdrawal symptom.

I was on Lexapro for six months (had its problems but don't know what I would have done without it), changed to Cymbalta 30mg to see if side effects disappeared, they did, replaced with different ones which were tolerable though. Then went to get another prescription, couldn't see my regular doctor (she had swine flu!) and the one I saw was adamant that 60mg was the lowest 'ongoing' dose (30mg is not available on 'repeat' prescription in AUst), so I had no choice but to take it, and found the increased side effects unacceptable (a few due to other issues with me) and tried to take it every 1 1/2 days, got back on 30mg as soon as I could see my own GP.

I figured if I felt no worse on 30mg Cymbalta, and it was only a 'step up' or 'step down' dose, and a few issues which had been bad when I went on Lexapro had now been resolved, I would try to get off it by taking it every second day, which is when the withdrawal symptoms started.

(I AM getting to the point ... just slowly)

When I discovered what I was doing wrong, I started taking 15mg every day, which was enough to cure me of the withdrawal symptoms because I'd been on 30mg every second day for a few weeks by then. After a few days though I had crushing depression. Even taking or making a phone call was difficult. I just assumed it was depression underneath that still needed treating, which of course made me even more depressed. I increased the dose to 20mg and felt better after several days, and after another week or so dropped down to 15mg again with absolutely no depression.

Still have the odd 'wave' of bleakness, but I can now distract myself until it passes. I found it difficult initially yesterday afternoon, mixing with 40 people of whom I knew precisely two, and them not very well, all that bloody small talk, what do you do, how do you know Friedel etc etc. After a while though I settled in and really enjoyed myself when we spent some quiet time with the hosts. The difference between yesterday and times when I've been depressed is at the end of it I would have felt even worse, having to hide myself away under some sort of shell.

Is anything able to cheer you?

The prospect of having your knee fixed ??
(Or does the thought of going through it all make you feel worse than the solution??)


I'm sure there are websites there, but the only one I know of is Australian, called beyondblue, and is extremely well regarded. It has different checklists, the ones used by doctors to determine 'how' depressed you are.

It might be worth a look. www.beyondblue.org.au

Let me know if the info helps.

regards, Maureen.

#40 nursedeborah

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    I am reallly trying to get off Cymbalta, and not having, well I am having nightmares even with the decreased does, and clanging in my head.

    I just found this site, and I really need help, I can't do this, I fear I willl never get off this brutal medication.

    Deboreah Wesson

Posted 24 October 2009 - 04:03 PM

Hi,
You know what if what I had before was depression, I will take that back anyday compared to this.
I am still far from being out of the woods as far as what this drug has done to me psychologlicly(sp)
it still makes me so angry, and embarresed to not be able to write clear, or be able to remember how
to spell so much of the time. I do feel like I freak. I still don't have any energy, and can't get myself
to do much around the house.

It does come, and go, then all of a sudden just now finally am I starting to laugh, and get angry, to
have approiate feelings again after not for so long. I know we are all at different satages of withdrawls,
and doses, and I forget that at times.

I am just so frigging angry about what has happened to me, and I feel so powerless to do one thing about it!
I don't seem to be able to get out of the house today, take the trash out, or take a shower. Hell I am still in
my pj's, and it's 2:00 pm. I know I had something that was wrong when I first a antidepressant, but never
thought it would lead me to this place.

Hope that all is better with you all today. I know this too shal pass!

Debbie

#41 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 25 October 2009 - 02:54 AM

I am going to bed, and will write to you both tomorrow. I was wondering though how long you have been on Cymbalta and what made you decide to quite taking it.
Take care dear friends
Vanessa

#42 nursedeborah

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    I am reallly trying to get off Cymbalta, and not having, well I am having nightmares even with the decreased does, and clanging in my head.

    I just found this site, and I really need help, I can't do this, I fear I willl never get off this brutal medication.

    Deboreah Wesson

Posted 25 October 2009 - 11:19 AM

Good Morning Vanessa,
I was on Cymbalta, welll still am decreasing, but first put on 30 or 60 mg to start, to be honest
I really can't remember, but I do think it was the 60 mg. I was the one who saw the rep there
and she had this really cool pen, and wanted to give it to my doctor. Well he and I had worked
together for years, and I just grabbed it from her, and said I wanted it, and he, and I were
laughing. The joke was, "Oh I'll be the guiene pig" and he switched me from Lexapro to
Cymbalta.

I never would have remembered this had you not asked. It is painful not just thinking of it,
and I want to blame myself for being on this crap. I know that's not true at all.

I had become so out of it, and couldn't even leave the house, or take care of myself, I was
so confused, disoriended, depersonalization, diarrhea like you would not believe, or con
stipation so bad, my belly would look like I was 9 mo. pregnant. I had the nightmares,
swelling, sweating, oh the list just goes on. I had gotten to where I though my depression
was so bad that it was untreatable. I had been back to the shrink several times, and he just
kept giving me more meds, none of which helped me at all.

So I finally was ready for shoch treatment!, but just went and saw him, and he told be to
cut the dose in half. After 6 days I was losing it!! The nightmares, abdominal pain, sweating
you know the withdrawls, called him, he said it was not due to the meds, to go back on the
full dose. When I did that I wwas fine in a few days, and then went looking online, and found
this place, and also so much information about this stupid drug.

All the things that they said I had, and gave me meds for, I never needed, it was all the side
effects of this drug, and now that I am at a much lower dose I can really tell the difference.
I stilll havee a long ways to go, it really messed with my head, and I am also so tired, and still
lack all motivation. That is so hard on me as it keeps me from going anywhere, calling people
or having a life still.

I just want my life back like it was prior to this crap.

Hope that answers your question. Oh I know the doc was the one who said to go on it due
to the fact I had, had a failed back surgery, and had so much pain!!! I just remembered,
it's like it ate my brain up of all my memories, but they are starting to come back little
by little.

Take care, hope your doing ok today.

Love,
Debbie

#43 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 27 October 2009 - 12:53 AM

Debbie I am so very sorry that you have gone through so much. Depression is such a horrible disease to start with and so misunderstood. I cry all the time, and unfortunately I think my kids think their mother is nothing but a big crybaby. I am in a lot of relentless physical pain as well from my RA and I feel as if I am going in circles. This week, I am on the 20 mg minus 30 little balls. I jusr want my life back physical or mental, dare i hope for both? I cant tell you how much I appreciate your help, and I do hope you will keep in touch with me, and keep me in the loop. People like us have an inexplicable bond that needs to be kept in tact.
Take care
Love
Vanessa

#44 MaureenV

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Posted 27 October 2009 - 01:22 AM

Hi Vanessa,


Is the worst of your pain in the knee to be operated on? I do hope so.


Relentless pain is depressing in itself.


If it's changed recently, a lot of the crying could be to do with Cymbalta withdrawal. I cried all the time, sometimes over nothing. Other times I would see something sad on the news and be completely unmoved. It was like my emotional responses had been flipped.

Are you still badly wanting to be off Cymbalta before the surgery??

regards, Maureen.

#45 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 27 October 2009 - 01:43 AM

I saw you were online but did not know how to start a message to you. No - but I will do what I can to keep to my schedule of Cymbalta. I am on 20 minus 30 beads this week. The sooner I get off the better. I will figure out how to deal with the hospital when I get to it. I hate to whine, but yes the pain right now is in that knee. Both of my knees however are shot. I have rheumatoid arthritis,osteoarthritis fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, spinal stenosis, and four fractures in my pelvis. I have lived like this for the past four years. I kept going as long as I could until my body gave up. In October of last year my doctor refused to let me work any more, and I have found that very hard to adjust to. I live in the U.S. but do not have any family left. I have a husband and two teenagers, and a sister that lives in Nova Scotia, but thats it. Depression runs rampant on my mothers side of the family. My mother passed away 21 years ago, and my dad 18 years ago. So I guess in one way I feel very sorry for myself!!!!!! I am praying that once this knee is taken care of, I will regain some of my independence. Last October I was in a wheel chair, not working and physical therapy has put me back where I am - with a cane and a walker, but the pain is relentless. God only knows what I would have done if I had not found this site, and in particular you and Debbie. You have literally saved my sanity, because I now understand what is going on and why I am behaving the way I am. Thats not to say my family will go along with it!

Keep in touch Maureen, it helps me a lot.
Love
Vanessa

#46 MaureenV

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Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:01 AM

HI Vanessa,


I don't know either how to 'talk' to someone when they're online.


I do know that you can see what someone's looking at !! True!!


I'm not sure how to get there, because most of what I've found out has been because I accidentally clicked on the wrong thing. I think if you go to who's online or somesuch, it will give you a list of who's online and what they're reading.

If I'm reading your post, then chances are I'll answer straight away, or if I don't have time I'll certainly come back to it.

Yes, I hope too that your knee being fixed will give you a bit of a lift.

I've mentioned a book here before that I found good (not that it was relevant to me) called Looking Up, life after sudden disability. It's about a late thirties bloke who fell from a tree when working as an arborist, with his wife 5 months pregnant, breaking his back. Thing is it's a 'humourous' look, and it's really great and uplifting to read of someone in awful circumstances still being able to see the funny side occasionally. Obviously it's a very sad and challenging time, and it's not all beer and skittles; in recovery he suffers from panic attacks, can't stop crying etc etc.

For example, after a few years in a chair, he goes to a program where they get to experience all sorts of sports, to see if there are any they're interested in;; they hoist him up onto a horse and he promptly lets out a 'bottom burp' to put it politely, not having any control over that aspect. He comments that on top of the embarrassment of the situation, came the even greater frustration of knowing he'd missed his moment to blame the horse!!

One of the things I liked about it is that it didn't gloss over the difficulties of , er, ablutions - how to retrain your body; and sex. Things lots of people probably wonder about, but don't get to read about.


There's nothing like talking to someone here.

I was talking to a friend I was pretty crappy to two months ago when I started coming off Cymbalta. When I said that I look back and can't believe it was THAT bad, and yet I can see from what I've written to him that I was absolutely out of order, I'm damned lucky he's the sort of person he is. I also sent him the FDA report that Barney posted, and he was pretty astonished at it all.

I really don't think that anyone other than those experiencing it and those close to them who know the story can have any idea of what it does to you emotionally.

How old are your teenagers?


cheers, Maureen.

#47 nursedeborah

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    I am reallly trying to get off Cymbalta, and not having, well I am having nightmares even with the decreased does, and clanging in my head.

    I just found this site, and I really need help, I can't do this, I fear I willl never get off this brutal medication.

    Deboreah Wesson

Posted 27 October 2009 - 11:52 AM

Vanessa,
I just read what you wrote to Maureene, and you, and I have lots in common with
the medical, or physical stuff, and pain. I guess I just have not been picking up on
stuff that you are saying all the time, but now that I read that I know now what
your going through.

I had a failed back surgery 4 years ago the 24 th of this month. It ruined my life,
and took away my life at the same time. I can't ever work as a nurse like I was
before, and have lot's of other stuff that he damaged as well.

The pain is one of the things that's the hardest to deal with, and nothing I take
has ever really stopped that pain.

Then to have been given this drug for the pain, and end up totally insane from it
and unable to do life, and I really mean that, I just couldn't do anything.

It is getting better, but I still have so far to go to get off this crap, and then to deal
with all that is left over afterwards.

I like the book that Maureene was talking about, and know I should just be so
grateful I can even walk again, because I couldn't for over 17 months, but it's all
this mental damage thatt this drug has done to me still that I am dealing with at
times that makes it so frigging hard.

I guess I too need to look back from where I first started, and see how far I have
come. It just sucks when I have these kinds of days, maybe I am feeling sorry
for myself, but after all the crap this drug to me, I guess I do feel sorry for me.

I am sorry to dump on you. I know your going through so much pain of your own, and withdrawling too!
I just am having one of those days.

This Too Shall Pass! Hope your doing ok today!

Love,
Debbie

#48 MaureenV

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Posted 27 October 2009 - 04:19 PM

Sorry Vanessa and Debbie, if I sounded like I was saying that we should be 'grateful' that we're not worse off, and that there are those in wheelchairs who can see the bright side.


What I meant was that it's a very rare skill to be able to put disaster and humour together, and that those of us who've been through crap situations can put ourselves in his shoes with all the hospital and drug stuff, and be informed by his situation, but at the same time appreciate his wacky sense of humour.


To me, one of the defining differences about things 'being depressing' and 'being depressed' is being able to feel empathy for someone else. When I'm feeling low, I just need to watch the news at what some people's lives are like, or go to one of our local Sanctuary meetings (we help refugees from Africa settle - some have been through living nightmares) and it puts my problem into perspective.

The few times I've actually been depressed though, I couldn't have given a flying hoot about anyone else. I think to myself they can have what I've got, good luck to them, I don't care what happens in my life. It's like it's a burden just being alive, much less having to work out what to put on, what to eat, will I even answer the phone when it rings .....

I wouldn't have even picked up that book when depressed. I only appreciated it once I wasn't.


regards, Maureen.

#49 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 28 October 2009 - 10:20 AM

Debbie, thank you for sharing, I do hope things get better for you. Remember you have a friend here if you need to "talk".

Maureen, I wonder from your comments if you have ever been so depressed that you just dont want to carry on any more. Not necessarily commit suicide, but when it hurts to open your eyes, and your life as you know it has gone, and you know it will not change. I consistently think of people in worse situations, and yes it sucks, but true depression is not helped by thinking of others that are worse off. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I sit and cry or I cry myself to sleep when many many people dont even have a roof over their head, but thinking of it doesnt help, and ya know - Cymbalta doesnt either.

#50 nursedeborah

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    I am reallly trying to get off Cymbalta, and not having, well I am having nightmares even with the decreased does, and clanging in my head.

    I just found this site, and I really need help, I can't do this, I fear I willl never get off this brutal medication.

    Deboreah Wesson

Posted 28 October 2009 - 12:26 PM

Hi you Guys,
I sure know where your coming from Vanessa, and I feel the same way. I also
think that we all have been damage to different degrees by this drug, due to
the dose, and length of time.

Also people are at different stages of weaning process, and where I am right now,
is just where I am, and I can't do anything about it, nor should I feel bad about it.
Oh how hard I try eachday to be there for others, and go to my AA meeting, Alanon
meetings, pray, and still nothing seems to be working for me right now, and it sucks.

I still feel like I did when I was on the full dose right now, and it makes me angry,
which means that I am really afraid!!! Yeah it is scarry living this way, and thinking it will
stay this way forever.

I too have felt guilty about the people in w/c, walking the streets, the patients I have seen
over my years as a nurse, but it still does not remove these feelings, and fears created by
what this drug has done to be.

I am not mad at anyone, I just don't even go there, too tired, and it's negative. I also need
to have support, and that's all. There is enough crap going on in my head!!

Thank you Vanessa for reaching out to me, that is so nice of you to do, and much needed, I
too am always here for you. I understand so much where your coming from.

Peace to all,
Debbie

#51 MaureenV

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Posted 28 October 2009 - 03:59 PM

Debbie, thank you for sharing, I do hope things get better for you. Remember you have a friend here if you need to "talk".

Maureen, I wonder from your comments if you have ever been so depressed that you just dont want to carry on any more. Not necessarily commit suicide, but when it hurts to open your eyes, and your life as you know it has gone, and you know it will not change. I consistently think of people in worse situations, and yes it sucks, but true depression is not helped by thinking of others that are worse off. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I sit and cry or I cry myself to sleep when many many people dont even have a roof over their head, but thinking of it doesnt help, and ya know - Cymbalta doesnt either.




Yes, that's what I mean (but didn't put very clearly) in one of the last paragraphs, and I think it's what really differentiates true depression from just feeling low. I have a good friend who suggests things like walking around the block - that's fantastic when you're feeling low, but a pointless suggestion when you're depressed, sometimes all it does is make you more depressed.

I've been beyond the point of not wanting to carry on, of planning in a lot of detail how to end it all (not this time, but the previous time I was depressed when I was in my early thirties). Once you reach such a low point you really don't care about the impact on others etc. As you wake each day you think 'oh god, not another day to be got through'; if the sun's shining and the birds are singing it's even worse because you feel guilty that you can't drag yourself out of the feeling when there are people who'd give their right arm to swap places.

Sorry AGAIN :)) if I didn't make myself clear, because what you're saying is exactly what I meant. One of the items on the beyondblue website (which incidentally is the same as doctors here use) is 'how often are you so unhappy that nothing can cheer you up'. You could have told me I'd won the lottery and I'd have said 'give it to someone else - I couldn't give a stuff'.

The only difference for me between late last year and 20 years ago is my daughter. I didn't even remotely contemplate suicide this time because the 'benefit' to me was less than the burden it would be to her.

Four years ago the mother of one of her classmates hanged herself from a tree in their garden, knowing full well it would be the 10yo and 14yo who found her - way too late. No note, no warning, no messages of love for the kids. It affected my daughter quite a lot (as you can imagine) and one day she flung her arms around me and sobbed 'please promise me you'll never, ever do anything like that'.

On top of anything else happening in your life, you also have the grind of ongoing pain, which creates a further barrier. My back is trivial in comparison (I need Voltaren every day), but I do remember before I started taking it, and I was still mobile. It's just one long bloody grind, and yours is severe in comparison. Don't feel guilty about the tears; sometimes I think they're a way of washing out the emotional pain.


take care (and November's getting closer ...)


Maureen.

#52 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 28 October 2009 - 11:45 PM

Debbie, my heart truly goes out to you. When I feel as if nothing is working, I try to wonder where I would be without doing what I'm doing. We dont know the answer, but my guess would be that something is helping, not as much as we would like maybe, but it gives me some incentive to keep on doing whatever it is I'm doing. I dont want to know what the alternative is!!!!!

I have spent all day today getting pre-op stuff done for my knee replacement. I am terrified of what the pain will be like. I already take some pretty heavy duty pain meds for my RA. Guess I have to trust those medical staff huh!!!!! LOL.

Take care dear lady, and "call if you need me!"
Vanessa

#53 MaureenV

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 02:03 AM

Vanessa,


did my explanation make sense? I'm not very good at condensing my thoughts, I'm afraid, but was trying to say I agree with you, and obviously didn't make it clear.


cheers, Maureen.

#54 snicklefritz

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    I have been taking Cymbalta for about 4 months, and my blood pressure became quite high. It settled down slightly but now I am trying to stop taking Cymbalta and am down to 20mg. My doctor does not have much experience with this medication and now that I am at 20mg I do not know how to go down further as I understand 20mg is the lowest dose. I am suffering all kinds of wierd effects which I believe from reading here is from the CYmbalta. I really need help in where to go from here.

Posted 29 October 2009 - 02:11 AM

Maureen, thank you so much for sharing in detail what you meant, now the tears are flowing again. Please accept a big hug and know that you have a friend on the other side of the world. I was just going to look up that book. Went through all the pre surgery testing stuff today and all is fine, except that my bones are all deteriorating fast. I am 54 and needing 2 knees, 2 hips and 2 thumbs, why do they all come in twos??????

Have a great day
Much love
Vanessa

#55 MaureenV

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 02:37 AM

Oh, good!!! You had me worried I'd said the wrong thing. Really worried!! I know I can be a bit full on, and certainly didn't want to upset you of all people.


So glad to get your response .... the tears are flowing here too, I'm so relieved.

As I've said (ad nauseum by now) books like 'Looking Up' are only useful if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then, I think, they help a lot - you can actually get your head around the fact that there are things to be grateful for. When you're in that deep dark place of genuine depression, though, they have the opposite effect (triggering guilt etc. - as if you need anything more to feel bad about).


Interestingly, I was emailing a friend yesterday who I looked to for support two months ago (which I only did reluctantly as he has his own relationship drama) and said that I have trouble remembering how bad it was. His response was that if my emails were a true reflection of how I felt (they were) it was REALLY bad.

This is actually the third time in my life I've been on anti-depressants, and it was only when I went on them the second time that I realized I wasn't really depressed the first time.

It was sure depressING - I'd had a 'hut and run' motorbike accident with multiple injuries, inc fractured skull and nose, all sorts of bits & pieces of me given a hiding, not able to work for several months, but told to avoid TV, reading, music, etc etc etc, and the lack of balance following the fractured skull meant I had to give up my recreational passion of flying light aircraft. WHO WOULDN'T FIND THAT DEPRESSING!!

Funny story: the second time I was actually going to end it all. Had all prepared - had been working on it for weeks; work all completely under control; my unit (apartment) details all carefully listed; appointment with the doctor for the Friday night to get a valium prescription 'for a long distance flight) (I had it all timed down to a T). Doctor said: oh you don't need to be paying for a whole prescription - you'll only need a few - I'll give you a sample I have here. !!!! Foiled.

Do they do thumb joints??? I've never heard of that. Is it Titanium they use??

I have a titanium in three different bits of me, and my husband jokes that if I get run over by a bus, he might at least be able to get something for me as scrap metal!


As for coming in twos!! You're talking to someone who's b. glad they do. I was able to have one adrenal removed and live quite comfortably with just one. You do NOT want to be without your adrenal.

Anyways, thankyou again for your response; the sun is well and truly over the yard arm here in Australia (6.30 pm and it's still 28 degrees - over 80F) so I'm enjoying a glass of bubbly, something I couldn't have done a few months ago when trying to first get off cymbalta.

I'm excited for you with this countdown!

take care, Maureen.

#56 Junior

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 06:54 AM

Hey u guys...

I've been following this convo without really being able to join in :S

Now you are beginning to talk my language :-D

There is a HUGE difference between feeling a bit down and Major Depression. Do you know, when I was doing my 4th yr psych thesis (the topic was: Do parental knowledge of depressive symptoms and / or parental emotional intelligence influence their ability to recognise adolescent depression) I found a study that did a survey of depression recognition in Australia. I forget what the number of participants was but it showed that 50% of people could not distinguish between normal sadness and Major Depression. I know someone myself who doesn't understand. I've tried to explain it so many times but she really doesn't get it.

Depression is:
When you can't find simple words with which to have a conversation
When the most simple task becomes extremely difficult
When you .. either you feel melancholic / depressed ... or you feel nothing at all .. really...
When you could either sleep for days... or you can't sleep no matter how tired you are...and it can go on like that for days
When you cry and cry and cry...but don't feel any better for doing so
When you can't even begin to imagine feeling happy
When your face is stuck in a mask
When you wake up with a feeling of dread, wondering how you are going to get through another day
When you'd rather be anyone but yourself
When you struggle to force food down your throat
When you can eat but can't work out what you should eat
When everything is just too hard and you just want to shut the world out

Oh my... just reading over that list is making me feel depressed!!!!

Oh...I forgot about the lack of colour.
Depression is when.. everything is black or grey.. depending on the level of depression
Depression is when absolutely nothing you do or don't do makes you feel any different
Depression is when you kind of just wallow in a big, black hole....

*sigh*

I don't think non-sufferers can even begin to understand just how debilitating Major Depression is. They call it a 'mood disorder' but it's a lot more than that. It is NOT on a continuum of 'normal' mood...not in my book anyway.

Sorry for the depressing post :-I
Junior

#57 snicklefritz

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 07:59 PM

JUnior - welcome to our conversation! I relate to every single comment, I must be one helluva mess.
I do hope you are feel as much better as a depressed person can - gee that does not sound right, but I think you know what I mean????
Are you off of Cymbalta yet? SHare your experience with me if you feel up to it, I would love to listen.

Vanessa

Maureen, will you e mail me at vanessamcoe@msn.com?

#58 MaureenV

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 08:04 PM

Vanessa, you have mail.


Maureen.

#59 MaureenV

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 09:37 PM

Hi Junior,


I didn't find it depressing, if that's any consolation!


I think it's almost a good feeling to have validation from seeing the things listed.

I think for me the biggie would be opening my eyes only to be overwhelmed by the feeling of dread that there was another day to be got through, given I knew most the other things on the list were going to occur, too.

It would be hard to explain to anyone who's never been depressed what it actually feels like to stand in front of your wardrobe and be completely and utterly unable to decide what to put on.

I also think that those who've never been genuinely depressed MAY think they have been, and know that for them, a walk around the block, or thinking about someone worse off etc etc made them feel better, so they think that if you just gave that a go, you might feel better, too. Hard to explain to them just how it actually makes you feel worse (given the powers of articulation seem to have disappeared too).

When I was in a depressING situation a few years ago with all of the adrenalectomy investigations (which went on for 8 - 10 months) I would at least wake up each day hopeful that I was closer to resolution; I could forget about it all when other things were happening; I could put it into perspective when I heard stories of those worse off than me. If I'd never been depressed before I probably would have said I was depressed, but I wasn't - I wouldn't have identified with any of the things on that list, even though there were many days which were pure c**p.

#60 Junior

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 09:45 PM

Hi Vanessa

It's ok. I'm not currently depressed :)
I just wrote all of that to show that I fully understand how debilitating depression is.

Sorry to hear that you can relate to all of that :(

I'll try to give you a brief synopsis of my life:
I'm 47. Suffered my first depressive episode at 18, for no apparent reason. With the knowledge I have now, I'd say it was the onset of Major Depressive Disorder. My next at 25 was also for no apparent reason. A third at 26 was definitely triggered by very difficult life circumstances. The second and third instances were treated with Amitryptline (an older tricyclic) as the more modern a/ds weren't around at the time. My 4th depressive episode was actually anxious-depression and again, was brought on by very stressful life circumstances. I was put on Aropax (Paxil) and it worked brilliantly. 98% better than Amitryptline with far less side effects. My 5th episode is probably linked to the 4th and I went back on Aropax.

As well as depression I also suffer from what I now know to be Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I first sought help for this in 1979 (before my first depressive episode) but the Drs couldn't do a lot for me because it wasn't a known disorder. It wasn't in the DSM until the 1994 edition. I was just given short-term doses of benzos, which I always used responsibly, and sometimes certificates for sick leave.

I am married and we have a son with autism, intellectual disability and ADHD. He is the joy of my life. Unfortunately we were unable to have any other children. We went through 7 failed attempts at IVF. By far the most difficult thing I've ever been through. After therapy I pulled myself together and went back to school. I now have a BA with a psychology major and a Post Grad Dip in Psychology.

I had stayed on Aropax (Paxil) for over 10 years and don't regret it for one second. Unfortunately it was becoming less and less effective and earlier this year I switched to Lexapro. That didn't agree with me, so, after consulting with a psychiatrist, I tried Cymbalta. Ugghhh. 19 days on and 14 days withdrawal. NOT a drug I'd recommend to others. I tried staying off all a/ds for 3 weeks but I suffered extreme insomnia and hypomania. So, I went back on the Aropax..... I'm currently on 40mg and staying there for the moment. I'm going to have to wean off though so my body /brain can heal. I just want to put a plan and some coping strategies in place before I start so I'm seeing the therapist I saw back in my latter IVF days.

LOL that was meant to be brief!!!!

I hope you can organise a plan re: the Cymbalta for yourself before you go into hospital. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you physically at the moment. I'm glad you found us. At least you have some emotional support, hey?

Kind regards
Junior



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