Ok. On finding this site, I wept. Other people suffer too. And this, Im sorry, but its really really reassuring for me. This is what i've needed to see! Ive been on this wretched drug for about 20 years i reckon. My dose has gone from 30mg to 60mg to 120mg. Chronic Depression. PTSD... blah blah. But the real problem was addiction.
My dose went up to about 150 (i think) when i gave up drink and illegal drugs (my self prescribed medicine) in 2016 following an attempted suicide by hanging... Without d&d my life improved immeasurably. So i figured i could come off the meds (i had a feeling that the drink and the drugs were creating the depression, and given id never been totally honest about my abuse id willingly accepted medication). But no doctor would support me. Which feels criminal, having read what i've read on here.
Anyway. To the point:
I have been personally tapering down for 5 years, and am now down to 30mg... but cannot get across the line. Im currently on 30mg every 3 days and retake as soon as the side fx kick in. Its horrible. Its like my body is wrapped in an electric fence. And i just want to be free of this poison.
I read about Bead counting.... so can someone clarify? Can i just remove 5-10 beads from each capsule every 3 days (in my case), and reduce like that? To finally rid myself of satans grasp?
ANy help or advice would be most welcome. And i wish you all the very very best.
Love and Light.