To make a very long story shorter, I'm in the midst of finding a new psychiatrist to help give me the proper medication(s) I need. I'm currently on 300mg Trileptal for Bipolar, 60mg Cymbalta for depression/anxiety, and 60mg Wellbutrin to combat the side effects of those two . I've always struggled with finding a medication that could help me, I've been on Lexapro, Prozac, and a couple others I honestly don't remember the name of. I've been doing a lot of research lately to try and learn more about mental health disorders because I didn't feel that my diagnosis of Bipolar resonated with the things I experience, I stumbled upon a Dr. on YouTube who specializes in personality disorders and I have the strong belief that what I experience and why my meds haven't quite worked the way I would like them to before, is because I may have Borderline Personality Disorder. Of course, I'm going to get evaluated to be sure, I just have never felt like anything I have been diagnosed with before makes as much sense as BPD did after learning about it.
I've been sure I want to get off of my Trileptal, and most likely my Wellbutrin too. I was debating staying on Cymbalta because even though I have experienced negative side effects, it's helped better than any other med I've been on (which still isn't much ), after getting the feeling I may have BPD, I'm now about 80% sure I want to wean off of my Cymbalta. I've only been on Cymbalta for a handful of months but I've had short periods where I've had to go without it before and it was the farthest thing from fun. I recently got switched from 30mg twice a day to 60mg once a day, I took the 60mg in the morning and couldn't function due to lethargy. Also, I fell asleep every time I sat down . So, yesterday I decided to wait until the nighttime to take my pill so that I could avoid as much drowsiness in the day as possible, my day actually went pretty well despite the skipped dose. I did get a bit anxious in the afternoon but I had a really good day at work and I got a new job, so that definitely helped my mood. I decided "hey, why not just try another day without it because today went so well?" which is exactly what I'm doing. Hopefully today goes well for me and I don't have to rebound, I did have an odd dream last night (but I've always been an odd dreamer) and the night before, the only weird thing was my dreams took place in the same setting with the same dream people, which is atypical for me. Nothing concerning though.
I'm not sure what my point in making this post was, I guess to see if anyone has words of wisdom/encouragement to offer? Maybe any comments from someone else with BPD? Interesting dream stories?
Also, it's fine if you think I'm totally crazy, but does anyone know anything about or believe in astral projection? I don't have really any opinions, I just find it incredibly fascinating and was really getting the feeling that my Cymbalta dreams/nightmares were "otherworldly" in a sense. If anyone wants to put in their two cents, I'd love to hear!