7 replies to this topic

[Heartbroken]

My husband has been taking Cymbalta for appx 2 years. 2-3 weeks ago he ran out and changed insurance carriers at the same time, so he opted not to pay for it full price and completely stopped taking it. I have noticed a difference in his behavior the last couple of weeks. He has been extremely irritable and border-line mean. By nature he carries his stress with him, so i assumed that he was feeling more stress than usual. Until last night, when he told me that he has been unhappy in our marriage for over 2 years, that all I do is nag him and pick on him, I put pressure on him to do certain things (ie: buy a house, take a new job, buy me things, etc). Like I said, I just thought we were going through a rough patch at no point did I think that topics of divorce and child custody were on the table.

He was totally irrational last night, I could not get a word in edge-wise to defend myself and he went from one unrelated topic to the next, like a man obsessed. After hearing everything that he had to say to me, I had what had to have been the closest thing to an emotional breakdown. I felt alone and in dibelief that my marriage was ending. I started thinking that it was strange that we had been making all of these plans for our future and then all of a sudden I am being told that he is unhappy for 2 years. So, I googled Cymbalta this morning and found this website. In no way am I trying to minimalize how my husband feels and maybe he really is unhappy in our marriage, but after reading many of the posts, I am starting to beleive that he is experincing withdrawls from this drug.

If there is any advice that any of you could give me, I would greatly appreciate it. My husband is a wonderful man, whom I love very much. If our problems are being caused by this drug, please help me try to help him. I am certain that he will not want to go back on it and then try to wean off, since he has already been without for 2-3 weeks, which I completely support, but I suppose I just need to underztand what to expect and for how much longer.

Thank you in advance for your help.

[MaureenV]

My husband has been taking Cymbalta for appx 2 years. 2-3 weeks ago he ran out and changed insurance carriers at the same time, so he opted not to pay for it full price and completely stopped taking it. I have noticed a difference in his behavior the last couple of weeks. He has been extremely irritable and border-line mean. By nature he carries his stress with him, so i assumed that he was feeling more stress than usual. Until last night, when he told me that he has been unhappy in our marriage for over 2 years, that all I do is nag him and pick on him, I put pressure on him to do certain things (ie: buy a house, take a new job, buy me things, etc). Like I said, I just thought we were going through a rough patch at no point did I think that topics of divorce and child custody were on the table.

He was totally irrational last night, I could not get a word in edge-wise to defend myself and he went from one unrelated topic to the next, like a man obsessed. After hearing everything that he had to say to me, I had what had to have been the closest thing to an emotional breakdown. I felt alone and in dibelief that my marriage was ending. I started thinking that it was strange that we had been making all of these plans for our future and then all of a sudden I am being told that he is unhappy for 2 years. So, I googled Cymbalta this morning and found this website. In no way am I trying to minimalize how my husband feels and maybe he really is unhappy in our marriage, but after reading many of the posts, I am starting to beleive that he is experincing withdrawls from this drug.

If there is any advice that any of you could give me, I would greatly appreciate it. My husband is a wonderful man, whom I love very much. If our problems are being caused by this drug, please help me try to help him. I am certain that he will not want to go back on it and then try to wean off, since he has already been without for 2-3 weeks, which I completely support, but I suppose I just need to underztand what to expect and for how much longer.

Thank you in advance for your help.

Oh hell, what a rotten situation to be in. You're not the first 'partner' to post on here about what's happening in their relationship, and the others have been similar to yours. People who felt they were travelling o.k. then all hell breaks loose.

One of the withdrawal effects is 'depersonalization' which is hard to recognize in ourselves until we've recovered. I also wanted to separate during that time, not just from my husband, but also my daughter!! I nearly lost a very close friend due to my behaviour towards him. If it wasn't for his good nature I would have. Afterwards I directed him to some of these posts to show him it wasn't the 'real' me.

No, I'm sure he doesn't want to go back on at this stage, but if I were talking to him, I would recommend it. His body still hasn't adjusted to being without the drug, which can take a lot longer for some people. People who drop the drug cold turkey also risk a recurrence of symptoms from time to time for the next 1 - 2 years, according to the experience of some here.

He wouldn't need anything like the dose he was on. If (eg)he was on 60mg, or even 120mg, a 20g dose per day would help enormously. The important thing to remember with Cymbalta is that if weaning, you MUST take a dose every day - it has a very short half life - trying to 'stretch it out' or taking it every second day just doesn't work for those who've had significant withdrawal symptoms.

I read an article on The Guardian (Uk) on the weekend you may find interesting. There are not too many parallels with your situation, but you may find the detachment the woman made from the way her husband was behaving interesting.


http://www.guardian....unson-interview

There is also a thread somewhere on this site titled 'husband is mean'


Stay in touch, Maureen.

[cookie]

Dear Friend:
It is nice of you of doing research on your husband illness and antidepressants. (I wished most family members did that too). From what I´ve read, Cymbalta withdrawal is very hard. As her wife, keep on being understanding with him, and support him specially during withdrawal. As a Depression sufferer, I can say that Depression itself is not easy. Depressive people lack energy and motivation. Maybe this is why he feels too much pressure when you ask to him (to buy a house, take a new job, but you things, etc). When one suffers from depression life demands seem huge. It is very important to go to the root of the relationship problem. Maybe right now it is not the right time (during withdrawal). When he gets a better, maybe it will be the right time to talk about the relationship. Maybe you´ll find out that cymbalta withdrawal was causing his irritable personality, or maybe you´ll find out that there are things to fix in your relationship???. You are the one who knows your husband. I just give you my thoughts to try to help.
In this site you´ll find a lot of useful information for weaning off cymbalta.
regards
C.

[River Gal]

I can tell you he is not thinking clearly right now. I went through the same thing he has and I am so thankful for a patient loving husband who stuck with me when I needed it most. He needs you, I think.

[Heartbroken]

I can tell you he is not thinking clearly right now. I went through the same thing he has and I am so thankful for a patient loving husband who stuck with me when I needed it most. He needs you, I think.

Thank you everyone for your advice. I am still am not quite sure what to do. I have just been keeping my distance, as has he. It is evident that he is still very upset about the other night, but I forwarded this website to him, in hopes that reading about others experiences might make him realize that cymbalta may be a factor. I am certain that our marriage can use some nurturing, but whose doesn't. I just hope and pray that we can make it through this. For those who have suffered these mood or personality changes did you prefer your loved ones to back off and give you space or to be extra loving and so on. Any insight is greatly appreciated. i would hate to see my marriage end over some stupid drug that was supposed to help.

[Doob]

I am 8 wks or so cold turkey.
I tried so hard to push my wife away during the first month or so of withdrawl. Lucky for me she is stubborn and
loves me. Once I was coherent enough to be rational things were on the mend. Cold turkey is tough. This site
helps so much. I know until I started to share my feelings here and to my wife, I could not control my emotions.
Good Luck- Keep sharing.
Doob

[cookie]

Dear Heartbroken:
In relation to your question on if we prefer our loved one to back off and give us space or to be extra loving?....I think I prefer BALANCE. When my family members back off, on one hand I feel well because I can do whatever I want, but at the same time I feel that they are not getting involved in my illness. When they are extra loving, on one hand I feel well, and in the other hand I feel that they treat me -differently- because I am ill. So again, BALANCE, between both is important.
The best for you
C.

[MaureenV]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I am still am not quite sure what to do. I have just been keeping my distance, as has he. It is evident that he is still very upset about the other night, but I forwarded this website to him, in hopes that reading about others experiences might make him realize that cymbalta may be a factor. I am certain that our marriage can use some nurturing, but whose doesn't. I just hope and pray that we can make it through this. For those who have suffered these mood or personality changes did you prefer your loved ones to back off and give you space or to be extra loving and so on. Any insight is greatly appreciated. i would hate to see my marriage end over some stupid drug that was supposed to help.

Hi Heartbroken,

Unfortunately all I can add to this is that our loved ones can do nothing right. Hover in order to make sure we're o.k. and we're p'd off with them; stay distant to give us our space and we're p'd off with them.

Lord knows how they tolerate it. I suspect I became a classic passive-aggressive. I won't tell you what I need but I'll sure as hell let you know if I think you haven't guessed right.

I think all you can do is not respond too 'strongly' to anything; puts and awful lot of the burden on it you, I know. Did you get a chance to look at the article I posted the link for? IT was along those lines - a woman who just had to stand back and let him let off steam until he came to his senses.

I would also recommend keeping a daily diary of events; not to confront him with to show him how horrible he was, der, but to see if there's progress. There's a chance he'll also be oblivious of how bad he actually was, which is what happened to me. I came across a few emails I sent to a friend, and cringed. He could do no right, and I could do no wrong.


regards, Maureen.