Wow. Good question. I'm just coming to grips with what I had lost in terms of emotional range, and I don't think my husband is very tuned in, which is partially due to his own dependence on cymbalta, you know. It is very difficult and frightening for me, experiencing a full range of emotions this past month as I withdraw. I think I withdraw physically from my spouse (read: leave his presence) when I feel anything too vividly during this process, as I know expressing emotion is not something he (nor his family!) is comfortable about. I've been pouring my emotions into creative projects and physical exercise when I can. I can't always, though.
Is Your Spouse Used To You Not Having Real Emotion?
Started by artistteacher, Feb 01 2008 03:39 PM
10 replies to this topic
#2
LowMo
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Posted 02 February 2008 - 11:35 PM
Funny you should ask. . . .
When I decided to come off of Cymbalta and try EmSam, I was excited to let my fiance know, because I knew she was frustrated by my depression and never really understood it.
We were driving back from her mother's house and I said that I was coming off of Cymbalta (we were both haters of the "wonder drug"), and that for the first time in years I had hope for the patch that I would be trying. I told her that I loved her, but over the next month I wasn't sure if I could be the strong one in the relationship. I asked her if I could count on her to support me during this time.
She said, and I quote "Nope. Its not going to work and I am not a psychiatrist, I shouldn't have to be around when you aren't taking meds."
I am finally getting to the point where this is humorous. . . Needless to say I am single.
When I decided to come off of Cymbalta and try EmSam, I was excited to let my fiance know, because I knew she was frustrated by my depression and never really understood it.
We were driving back from her mother's house and I said that I was coming off of Cymbalta (we were both haters of the "wonder drug"), and that for the first time in years I had hope for the patch that I would be trying. I told her that I loved her, but over the next month I wasn't sure if I could be the strong one in the relationship. I asked her if I could count on her to support me during this time.
She said, and I quote "Nope. Its not going to work and I am not a psychiatrist, I shouldn't have to be around when you aren't taking meds."
I am finally getting to the point where this is humorous. . . Needless to say I am single.
#3
Susan
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Posted 03 February 2008 - 01:02 AM
"....She said, and I quote "Nope. Its not going to work and I am not a psychiatrist, I shouldn't have to be around when you aren't taking meds."...Wow! That's harsh Molly. How long were you together?
My husband has been anti-meds for a very long time now. He swears that they have any been a disservice to me. I felt, easy for him to say, since he has never had to cope with having depression. Although now that I type that, I guess he has had to cope with it, a lot more than I thought. I am sure living, and being married to me, hasn't always been a visit to Disneyland (without the lines and people
) for him.
As for being used to me having no real emotions, I would have to say, yes, he was used to me having only one true emotion, that being, one of a depressed walking corpse.
My husband has been anti-meds for a very long time now. He swears that they have any been a disservice to me. I felt, easy for him to say, since he has never had to cope with having depression. Although now that I type that, I guess he has had to cope with it, a lot more than I thought. I am sure living, and being married to me, hasn't always been a visit to Disneyland (without the lines and people
) for him.As for being used to me having no real emotions, I would have to say, yes, he was used to me having only one true emotion, that being, one of a depressed walking corpse.
#4
LowMo
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Posted 04 February 2008 - 03:48 PM
You know, I almost miss not having emotion- I am on my 11th day of no Cymbalta and I my emotions are so strong I am about to burst. I feel anger stronger than I ever have before, almost to the point of feeling sheer hatred. I have to go out of my way not to be mean to those around me, and yet I know that I am in the wrong. The anger turns into guilt, and then I go into spurts where I cannot stop crying for hours. My body is racked with so much pain that I want to die.
Yes, I think that I would prefer being a mindless zombie at this point.
Yes, I think that I would prefer being a mindless zombie at this point.
#5
Susan
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Posted 04 February 2008 - 04:43 PM
Molly~ In the beginning, I had to lock myself in my room because the rage was out of control. I have an eleven old son and my husbands feelings and safety to consider, so I would stomp off a number of times, and shut and lock my bedroom door, in order not to throw something or scream. It is now day 31 for me, and the rage is better, or more manageable, anyway. I still feel I can't control everything that comes out of my mouth, which I hate, but I find I can hold back better.
#8
todayIstheDay
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Posted 15 March 2008 - 12:24 AM
Interesting. I am new here. I am just starting to try to get off of Cymbalta. My husband and I have not really fought much the past couple years, but I thought it was because I learned how to deal with him in my therapy. Now I wonder. It will be interesting to see what will happen.
#9
mom9903
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Posted 14 October 2010 - 01:40 AM
I thought the withdrawal symptons were going to be the worst of it. Now that i'm on day 18 cold turkey I realize the dizzy, naseating brain zaps were the easy part I would just take some dromamine for that. The real problem now is that I'm feeling things. My husband has never really understood my anxiety/panic attacks we sat down together and discussed me stopping after 6 years on cymbalta he was so supportive he was ready to have me back. Now I realize I don't know who (ME) is anymore. He informed me this morning that I have been blind now for years about how he was feeling. I'm not sure our marriage is going to make it now that I'm not blinded by the drug. Was I really blind for 6 years?? What I'm feeling now, is it the withdrawals? I know not to make any spur of the moment decisions but I often think it'd be much easier to go back on cymbalta than feel anything. Then when I realize what I'm thinking I get so angry and think fine he's not worth it then I get angrier for thinking that because he is we've been together 15+years so obviously there was something there in the first 9+years but for the life of me I can't remember what it was or is. I've always been a person who doesn't give into crying. Now I cry all the time. I'm so confused I don't understand how I've been so blind or is this just part of the withdrawals, or have I actually felt this way and just didn't care enough to say anything I know now walking around like a zombie and going through the motions of the day is not the answer but at the moment it seems easier. Thanks for reading I just have to vent somewhere
#11
BelleNY
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Posted 29 January 2011 - 11:36 AM
Glad I found this site. Been on Cymbalta 5 or 6 years and have hated it for almost the entire time. I felt so unfeeling and emotionless and resigned to life. I called Cymbalta my stepford wife pills because as long as I was on them my husband was happy. I made the mistake of going off them cold turkey - lasted 6 days. I was so crazy I was screaming about wishing the person who took my parking space would hit a pole and die. Needless to say I did a little research and went back on Cymbalta at half the dose. Will down-dose over months now.
I was very angry that my husband would only think about how life without this drug would effect him. What about me? He said it should be a joint decision, but I don't think so. I'm the one who wants to feel. He says when I feel I'm unreasonalbe. I don't remember what normal is for me anymore. He says he remembers and he doesn't want to ..... oh whatever. The arguments just go in circles.
Just glad I found this site to know its NOT ME - its the CYMBALTA. No matter what, I'm getting off this drug.
I was very angry that my husband would only think about how life without this drug would effect him. What about me? He said it should be a joint decision, but I don't think so. I'm the one who wants to feel. He says when I feel I'm unreasonalbe. I don't remember what normal is for me anymore. He says he remembers and he doesn't want to ..... oh whatever. The arguments just go in circles.
Just glad I found this site to know its NOT ME - its the CYMBALTA. No matter what, I'm getting off this drug.
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