My Journal of Withdrawal
#1
Posted 01 June 2008 - 11:26 AM
I am on day 6 now, so I will recap what I've been going through thus far, and continue on from here.
(edit: information removed)
Ok, with that under my belt, let's fast-forward to Wednesday, May 21, 2008. I had forgotten to take my pills that morning, which I had done occassionally before without any serious problems. No problem that day. Also, since I had forgotten to take them, I was unaware of the fact that I was almost out. I got home late that night from taking another cousin out for her birthday, and decided to only take the Wellbutrin before going to bed.
Thursday morning (May 22nd) I forgot again, and was out late again that night watching Prince Caspian. Again, I only took my Wellbutrin. I felt mild discomfort in my stomache and a bit of dizziness. I just thought I wasn't feeling well.
Friday morning (May 23rd) I forgot AGAIN!!!! Hello! What was wrong with me?!?!? That day I felt it. My stomache hurt very badly, I felt carsick (just sitting at my desk I felt carsick!), and I thought I was coming down with the flu. It was so bad that on the way home from work (I have a 45 minute drive right now) I nearly threw up in my car. I was dizzy and nauseous, I had to pull over about 20 minutes away from my house, park my car on the side of the freeway (yeah, not really safe for two reasons: the wall prevented me from getting off the freeway into the dirt, and there is a prison right there) and laid down on my right side so that I wouldn't throw up. I ended up sleeping for an hour with those cars whizzing by!!! Still, I had no clue why I wasn't feeling well. I remembered to take my pills that night. That is when I saw that after taking my pill, I had only three left. I was ok on my Wellbutrin. I figured three pills: Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and I could get my prescription on Tuesday after school and be fine.
Saturday (May 24th) I took my pills as normal, but still felt like I had the flu with hard stomache pains. I was dizzy and nauseous, and I couldn't seem to get anything done.
Sunday (May 25th) I took my pills as normal, and the symptoms had started to receed. I wasn't quite as nauseated, and the pain had lessened. I spent the whole day at home, though, not getting anything accomplished.
Monday (May 26th), Memorial Day, came around and I was feeling nearly well. I only had the occassional stomache pain and no dizziness that I can recall. So, that bit of lovliness was caused by missing my Cymbalta pill schedule for 2 1/2 days, even though I didn't know it at the time. At this point, I had been back on schedule for 3 1/2 days.
Tuesday (May 27th) I meant to go get my prescription so I wouldn't miss a day. Long story short (huh? soooo way past this being brief), I couldn't/didn't get my prescription again at all. I would keep remembering to get it after the pharmacy had closed. No symptoms Tuesday. Now, this is important to remember: I was on my normal Wellbutrin dosage still. Day 1.
Wednesday (May 28th) my tummy hurt a bit and I was dizzy maybe three times that day, but nothing severe. I thought perhaps a flu bug was going around again, or maybe it was stress. Day 2.
Thursday (May 29th) my tummy was starting to feel like crap again, and I was dizzy quite often. I took 800mg of ibuprofin for the pain. I had a hard time getting to sleep that night, and woke up at 4:00 in the morning in such agony! I seriously considered not going to school on Friday, but my kids needed me. It was Field Day. I fell back asleep after maybe 45 minutes. Day 3.
Friday (May 30th) I woke up feeling like crap from the lack of sleep. I had pain in my tummy again, worse than the night before. Driving to work was a joy, since I felt nauseous most of the way there. When I got to work, I wanted to just stay inside and sleep. But, I went outside anyway, and read my book (The Dark Ground, which was ever so good!!!) while the kids did the activities. My stomache hurt so much that I took 800mg of ibuprofin again when I felt it had been long enough. Again, dizzy and a little disoriented. I knew that I shouldn't eat anything so that I didn't feel more sick, but eating seemed to help my tummy, even though it also made it worse (explain that one!). I'm pretty sure I had too much food that day, just trying to ease my pain. I also attributed it to the fact that I was stressed to the max because grades were due at midnight that night and I was worried about being ready. I did find myself a bit short-tempered, but I thought it was just that I was due for a period. Bleh! Driving home that night was a joy! I nearly stopped again to pull over and sleep. But, I was determined to make it home. I finally did, and things went downhill from there. I took another 800 mg of ibuprofin for the extreme pain. I went to sleep eventually, but it was late late late. 3:30 that morning I was ripped from sleep by more pain than I had ever had! I was dizzy to the point where I had to hold onto something just to get around, I was breathing fast and hard to the point where I dried out my lips, mouth, and throat. I hate throwing up more than anything, so I tried to avoid it. I took baking soda as an anti-acid. It reacted and I felt a tiny bit of relief. Still, panting hard, stomach in agony, and bent over the sink hoping not to puke, I felt like I was going to die, no exaggeration. I think I spent about 30 minutes like that. I did end up puking finally, and there was blood in it. O.O Ok, now I was scared. I looked up bleeding ulcer, and I don't remember why, but I included Cymbalta in that search, thinking maybe that's why I wasn't feeling good, since I had missed my pills since Monday. Thank goodness I did, because that eventually lead me to all the literature I've been reading, and also to this website. What I read about bleeding ulcers sounded exactly like what I was experiencing. At that point, I was only concerned about a bleeding ulcer, so I didn't really read much about Cymbalta withdrawal symptoms, only that this was one of them. I called my doctor's answering service, and had the on-call doctor paged. Now, mind you, I was pretty frantic at this point. He called me back and told me a few options I had. I was ready to drive myself to the ER at that point! But, as per his advice, I called my poor cousin, Ben, and had him go get me some Maalox, and that took care of the stomache pain for the time being. I was up until 5-6 am, I don't remember precisely, and finally was able to drop off to sleep thinking that aterrible ulcer was causing all the problems. I planned to research bleeding ulcers the next morning. Day 4.
Saturday, May 31, 2008 I woke up quite late. More pain, and mucho dizziness. Even so, I went straight to the computer to lookup peptic (bleeding) ulcers. I found out how to take care of the pain for now with diet and managing stress. I didn't want to go to the after-hours clinic, so I opted for taking care of this pain myself until Monday. Still didn't know all the Cymbalta issues. I found what I needed to know about what I should be eating and what I should NOT be eating to ease my ulcer pain (if that's what it is). Ibrprofin is bad bad bad for bleeding ulcers. Lovely, how much had I taken in the last few days? LOL I called my cousin and asked her to go to the store for me. I couldn't get there myself, and I knew it. I spent the day in and out of bed, dizzy, nauseous, and in pain. She got me some Tylenol, since that is safe to take with peptic ulcers. That helped with the pain some. I also took the Maalox when I felt the pain after eating. I knew I had to eat, but it took forever. A piece of bread took me half an hour to eat. I had to take small bites and chew chew chew. Yuck. I slept until 11:00pm and woke up. I got online and started really reading these forums. I think that's when I first posted. When staying upright was no longer an option, I went back to bed. (EDIT: I forgot that I took some benadryl before I went to bed, because people mentioned that it helped them). Day 5.
Well, we've caught up to today now. If you've stayed with me through this novel, congratulations. LOL I woke up with no pain and no dizziness...until I moved. Meh! So far, I've been able to eat alright, small bites, and the safe foods. I still plan to see my doctor tomorrow, but now I get to talk to him about ulcers AND withdrawals. I'm not going to take Cymbalta again, no matter what happens. I didn't get my grades done on Friday, since I could hardly think straight. I'll have to get those done today. I honestly believe that I haven't suffered the emotional symptions because I'm on Wellbutrin. I don't know if I'll be able to make it to work tomorrow. I sure hope so. The last day of school is Thursday, and I want to be with my kids. I guess today will determine tomorrow. It's only 10:00am-ish. I'll post again tonight to say how my day went.
#2
Posted 01 June 2008 - 11:38 AM
https://www.cymbalta...24&p=2544#p2544
The world needs you in it. Your students need you. Please be safe during this time. If you can get your cousin Ben or somebody to come and be with you today, please try to do that.
My thoughts are with you.
#4
Posted 01 June 2008 - 10:39 PM
I'll call this the end of the day. If anything happens in the middle of the night, I'll include it tomorrow. Day 6.
Oh, and thanks so much for your kind words, you guys. They really help. Knowing I'm not alone helps me keep a stiff upper chin. (edit: stiff upper chin? hahahaha oh yeah, I'm out of it! Stiff upper lip is what I meant)
#5
Posted 01 June 2008 - 11:51 PM
I always have ringing in my ears, so I don't know if Cymbalta made it worse, but, even after 70 days, I still have an odd thing that happens, that sounds abit like what you describe. If my house is silent, not TV or music, I hear what sounds like voices, or whispers. Not actual words, but just an odd sensation. I don't recall reading that Cymbalta causes tinnitus, but a lot of people sure seem to be experiencing it.
I hope you are now resting, and that your week with the kids goes well.
Still thinking of you!
Babby
#6
Posted 02 June 2008 - 09:10 PM
This morning at 4am I woke me with utter pain again, though not as intense before. I couldn't sleep after that, I was in too much pain. Nothin helped. It didn't matter if i stood, sat, or layed down. It hurt. At about 6:30 I had hard dry heaves. And even with that, I hurt until around 9am. I didn't go to school.
During the day, I had good food, and not too much. Good job, me! So, I went shopping at Kohl's then Walmart. I was completely loopy at Kohl's, but about an hour into Walmart started feeling better. Most of the dizziness had gone.
I took a late shower at 2:00pm and when I got out and combed my hair, my scalp hurt! 0.o This is unusual for me, because I have a tough head.
So, after seeing the doctor, I know that it's not a bleeding ulcer, just gastritis (inflamation of the stomache lining), which hurts just as bad, but takes less time to heal. So, I need to keep eating the right foods for now. And my doctor supports me in not taking cymbalta again. He prescribed stuff for nausea and an acid reducer.
As I'm typing this up, I'm waaaaaaaay dizzy. But, I've been doing a lot today, my body might be saying, "Take a rest, you silly!"
I'm having my cousin drive me to work tomorrow, since I don't think I can drive myself that far safely. Day 7.
#7
Posted 02 June 2008 - 09:14 PM
I would have felt very alone if I hadn't found this forum. Also, I would not have understood what was happening to me. Thank you all for both of those gifts! ^.^
Another day tomorrow. We'll see what it brings. Take care!
#8
Posted 02 June 2008 - 09:45 PM
It sounds like your doctor is being a good source of support, as is your cousin, so that is a large part of the battle. You will start feeling better, and you will look back and be so proud of what you accomplished! I'm proud of all of us!!!
#9
Posted 03 June 2008 - 07:55 AM
I felt so alone at the start of this, so I'm glad that you found this site too. There were a mere 80 members back in February, and we are over 1000 now! Granted, not everyone posts, but even if they come and read and get some advice, that is good too.
It sounds like your doctor is being a good source of support, as is your cousin, so that is a large part of the battle. You will start feeling better, and you will look back and be so proud of what you accomplished! I'm proud of all of us!!!
Good morning! ^.^ I think I slept well. I don't feel completely trashed right now. LOL Everyone here is great! I'm only a little dizzy at this point, but I'll talk about that tonight. After reading the other posts as well, I guess I AM having the brain zaps. Yippy skippy! Heh heh... But, again, knowing what they are, I can deal with it. I'm pretty sure my symptoms are not anywhere near as numerous as others because of the Wellbutrin, but the ones I have are quite severe at times. I'll post tonight to let you all know how today goes! <333
[edit]
#10
Posted 04 June 2008 - 08:26 PM
Morning:
I think I may have actually enough sleep last night! Yay for pills!!! There was no pain in my stomach this morning, even though I was stupid last night and od'd on the marshmallows again. But, they are gone now, so I can't do that again. I'm hardly dizzy at all, which is very nice!
Yesterday in Kohl's if I shut my eyes, turned my head, then opened my eyes again, it wasn't nearly as bad and just turning. I'm finding that it's when I have to readjust where I was going that the dizziness hits the hardest. For example, when someone steps in front of them, and I have to step aside, instead of going in the same direction, that's what throws me off.
There's a line from a song that has been running through my head, and I just now realized what is it! LOL "It seems like i'll never get put back together."
My coordination is completely sad. I have fumble fingers, and it's driving me nutters.
I'm making a "kit" for school:
foods I can eat
Maalox
Tylenol
Benadryl
the two meds the doc prescribed for me
Hopefully with everything with me, I won't have any major trouble. Tya is driving me to school.
Afternoon:
While I was riding to school, I got really really dizzy. By afternoon it was better. I feel asleep on the way home, and was very very dizzy when I woke up.
I've had a lot of rage today, and at the stupidest things. Kids that I would normally have patience for, no matter how irritating they are being, I got upset with. I had no patience for anything at all! It was like I was outside myself watching myself get angry and not being able to do a thing about it.
Day 8.
#11
Posted 05 June 2008 - 12:30 AM
So, today I had rage again. It's very disconcerting. It's not me, and I don't like it. I did have it less often than yesterday, though. Even so, it's frightening.
Today, the canker sores started. They hurt! And I'm eating everything that I see! Curses upon the faculty room goodies! lol I feel full all the time, yet keep shoveling it in! I can't even explain it! I don't remember seeing anyone else write about this, but I haven't read everthing yet, either. If there's no food around, I can fight it easier, but even then I'll go out and get a shake or something. Hope this part is over soooooon or I'll look like the goodyear blimp and not be able to move. Zoiks!
I haven't really been regular dizzy today much, but the brain zaps (where the eyes jerk and send me reeling, so to speak) have been more numerous today than before.
I'm really tired, which I should be, considering how late it is. But, the brain zaps are coming every few minutes as I sit here. I hope it's just because I'm uber tired. Day 9.
#12
Posted 05 June 2008 - 11:40 PM
I woke up late to my phone ringing. I didn't remember turning my alarm off, but that's not unusual, so I can't really attribute that to the cymbalta withdrawals for certain.
I've had lots and lots of insane gas! LOL!!! I'm telling you, I'm going to asphixiate myself if I'm not careful. And I keep going doodle all day! I never poop that much!!!
My scalp is so very tender today still, and now the palms of my hands are the same. They feel like they've been scrubbed completely raw.
Today I was so tired I had a hard time even moving at all. I was lucky that my cousin went to school with me today to help.
Also, I had a short temper again today. I got after a student (that deserved it, by the way) but I was not as patient as I would normally be. And I "watched myself" and couldn't make myself stop.
Twice today I walked away from something that was frustrating me to the point of violence (not with people, but with objects). I remembered that some advice said to walk away, so I did. If I hadn't read that here on these forums, I probably wouldn't have done it. I was too irrational to think for myself.
Oh, and I'm still having strangely real dreams. I really can't tell the difference between dreams and reality sometimes. :?
So, there's today's adventures in a nutshell. Fortunately today was the last day of school for the summer. I'll go back tomorrow and pack up my room. But, I'm going to take it slow, and not frustrate myself. Day 10.
#13
Posted 07 June 2008 - 04:36 PM
Wow, my gums are swolen and sore. It could be what I was eating, but I doubt it. My head feels like it's full of cement today. I'm all puffy, but that could be water renention from PMS. I also can't seem to stop eating, even when I want to. :/ I feel like an utter mess. But, no stomache pains (other than making myself too full) and some dizziness with the brain zaps. Day 11.
Just posted this in another forum, thought it would be appropriate to include here as well:
Awww, sweetie, if you can make it, stay off Cymbalta. The others on this site know much more than me, but I have experienced some of what you have. It's not easy, and until you know what is happening, it's terrifying. Even after knowing, it's still scary.
I went cold turkey on accident. I don't know if a slow tapering would have been better or not, but I'll never really know. Doesn't matter, really, what matters is that I'm on Day 12 right now, and I am starting to feel like I might actually end up back to ... well, normal doesn't seem the right word ... perhaps healthy. I'm not sure what day you are on, but you should count your first day without Cymbalta as Day 1. Yes, it's hell, and I don't use that description lightly. AND my withdrawals are less severe than others. BUT it's completely worth it.
When I took the Benedryl on the night it helped, I took two 25 mg pills. I haven't felt like I've needed it desperately since then. I'm keeping as much drugs out of my body right now as I can. I'm still on my Wellbutrin, and I'm taking vitamins. I also have been taking the two meds my doctor prescribed for nausea and vomiting and also the acid reducer. That's it. These guys on this forum have been super great. Stick around, and I'm sure you'll feel better. They made ME feel better.
Make sure several people that you trust know what you are going through. I actually had my cousin with me for 48 hours during some of the worst part of it. There's no way I could have gone to work without her. Also, some you tell may take it very lightly and act as if it's nothing. Please don't take that to heart. It's not your fault. It's the drug. Don't let that hurt your relationship with them. For some people, unless they have gone through it themselves, they will not understand. It hurt me at first, that people I trusted basically dismissed what I was going through. But, in retrospect, I realize that some personality types have to feel stuff first-hand. It doesn't mean they love me less. It's just part of their character make-up.
Being forgetful is driving me nutters. I can be right in the middle of a conversation and suddenly stop, having lost what we were talking about. People laugh when I do that, and it IS funny. But, it's disconcerting, too. And the dreams blending with my reality are unnerving. I'm hoping those stop soon.
Anyway, stay, post, let the others help you the way they have helped me. They are wonderful!!! Hope you do well this weekend. Take care! ^.^
#14
Posted 11 June 2008 - 03:19 PM
The brain zaps are coming only about 5-7 times a day now, I think. It could be more, but since it's less than before, it seems like a small number. LOL
I think I've been grinding my teeth at night now. I'm not sure if it's the withdrawal or the soreness from the cankers. I wake up with a sore jaw, and sore teeth. Bleh!
Still having food issues. I eat constantly still. I swear, my stomache can't be that big!!! And yes, it's making me feel uber-fat!!! But, I know this is all part of the process, and it won't last forever (it better not!!! :x ).
Oh yeah, and still having vivid dreams. Still mixing them with reality. I have to keep asking people if I've done something, because I'm not sure. hehehe
So, today I am working on my house. I'm buying a condo and I should be closing on the 19th! ^.^ Hot diggity!!!! And I had my last counseling session last night! Woohoo!!!! I feel very empowered!
So, here's to today! May you have lots of sun, and only rain if you love walking in the rain! ^.^ I'll write again in a few days! Day 16.
#15
Posted 17 June 2008 - 12:07 PM
The overeating is still not under control. It's very disconcerting. It is still one of those standing-outside-myself things. But, I'm going to use two phrases and hopefully break that: "It's all about the self-denail, baby" and "Every calorie counts." Wish me luck on that one.
Hmmm....I can't think of anything much else that has been going on. I'm still controlling myself when I feel myself getting upset or frustrated. It's bad for my stomache. Oh! I'm off the acid-blockers and anti-nausea pills now. I seem to be mostly ok in that regard. But, when I get a handle on this eating thing, I'll still be eating partially for people with peptic ulcers. I won't completely restrict myself, but I will have much less of the things that would aggravate it. Speaking of, I'm hungry, and it's way past breakfast time. If I think of something else that needs to be here, I'll edit. Day 22.
[edit] Just remembered another thing. My coordination is bad!! LOL I can't even pick something up without nearly dropping it, or actually dropping it. Mhm, don't ask me for a glass of water, you might end up wearing it.
#16
Posted 21 June 2008 - 12:09 PM
I am having days of nearly no dizziness, and then days of LOTS of dizziness. My stomache has been on a roller coaster, too. Some days I'm ok, and other days it's just upset! A long, hot bubblebath helped the other day. My stomache was upset, my ears were ringing, and my head ached. After my bath I felt mostly better.
I didn't do too bad yesterday with the eating thing. I'm going to go to the store this morning (ok, it's nearly afternoon >.>) and get some healthy foods to eat. Then, I'll try to eat a little something every few hours. I've never had to pay this much attention to eating, which maybe is a good thing now. lol
I'm still having the dreams, but I can't remember all of them now. I hope that's a good sign.
Um, can't think of anything else that's been happening the past few days. On a side note, I got the keys to my new condo yesterday! ^.^ I'm a first-time buyer, so this is really exciting for me!!!
Oh, and I wanted to say thanks again for everyone's support, and posting your own experiences. It helps so much!!!! <3
Day 26.
#17
Posted 22 June 2008 - 10:11 PM
I think I've stopped losing my hair unnaturally. I started losing all my hair when I started cymbalta. I'm glad I'm not going to end up bald.
I have NOT had a good day. I've been very weepy. And just a little bit ago I had rage. My 5-yr-old niece was really rude to me, on purpose, and I felt the rage. I wanted to slap her so hard. So, I left. I had gone over to their house to feel better, becuase today has been really bad. And that made me feel worse. I feel so out of control right now. Day 27.
#18
Posted 11 July 2008 - 11:11 AM
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