38 replies to this topic

[schmb01]

Bobbie, by FM boards, do you mean Fibromyalgia? If so, have you had your vitamin D levels checked? Being deficient in it can mimic Fibromyalgia. Just a thought. There is a thread about it in the nutrition section.

[CathyH]

Hi all.......I'm having a very hard day today. I have cried all through the day. I can't seem to get it under control. I did get alot done, but I cried through it all. I cleaned, I cried. I grocery shopped, I cried. I made dinner, I cried. I can't seem to stop.

I'm sure it's a combo of the residual withdrawals, mood swings from withdrawals, and dealing with what my husband has done. My heart is just breaking. I still feel the same way, about being off the Cymbalta, and working things through with my husband, but it doesn't mean it's easy, I guess. Like I told my husband, I want to work it out, stay married, and get on with things, but it isn't going to happen overnight. Guess not. Thanks to him, there is going to be alot of pain to work through.

I can do this. I just want some good days in between, you know? Truthfully, what I really want right now is to go out and get really plowed. The relief sounds so good. All day, I've been telling myself, "Wait til tomorrow, k?". And it's kept me alcohol free today at least.

I'll get back to where I was. Hell, maybe tomorrow will be totally different. Or at least tolerable.

Day 16: Still not a Cymbalta taker.

CathyH

[schmb01]

Oh Cathy hon! You know, it would be hard to differentiate between what is pure sadness from the situation, and what is mood swings from Cymbalta, and you are likely feeling both. You have every right to feel sad, and angry, and betrayed. This will be a rough road for awhile, and honestly, I think it is one that you will handle better being off of Cymbalta.

I sure wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom for you though. All I can say is you have a right to your feelings, and you have been given a lot to handle, yet I still can read/hear you clearly when you say what you are feeling, so at least you are getting more and more clear in your thinking.

Keep coming here to vent, it is safe, it is anonymous, and there are many here who are listening.

Take care dear

Babby

[CathyH]

Houdi and Babby.........Your words are so encouraging and they help to much. It's so priceless for someone to see you exactly where you are and have some understanding of that.

Day 18.

Your right: It is hard to differentiate between what is withdrawal, mood swings (withdrawal), and what is just pure pain from my husbands lovely shit bomb. I've kind of given up differentiating: It's all just one mess right now. I believe, after the initial chaos of the whole thing, it will separate itself, and be more clear. I DO have more clarity, tho, and I think that has everything to do with being off the dreadful Cymbalta.

I AM feeling again. I'm starting to get some of my life back. Between the Cymbalta and too much of some other meds (of which I have decreased--before the Cymbalta withdrawal), I was way over-medicated. Walking around zombie-like. No more. Even if I can't be completely med free, I will insist my dosages be the least that I can get by with. No cymbalta, though. Never again. It is a plate-ful to be feeling again, tho. It takes some getting used to. Like at the end of the day, I've pretty much had enough. I can't handle much input at the end of the day. I get pissy and ticky, and just need some peace. I'm trying to take the peace when I need it, but is sometimes difficult when I have two teenage boys around. Also, the withdrawal symptoms seem to really rear their ugly heads in the evening. F*ckers.

I'm going to the beach today. Get some sunshine and wind and water. God things. I went yesterday, too, and found it took me right out of myself.

Hugs to all,
CathyH

PS: Could I be over the hump at day 18? I'm feeling maybe so. But I don't want to get ahead of myself. I don't want to think I'm "in the clear" if I'm not. Yeah, I'm still feeling some withdrawal, but could the worst be over?

[CathyH]

BTW.......I've been posting here mostly because I can't remember where I've posted before. Is there any way to keep track of the topics you have responded to?

[schmb01]

I do think I was past the very worst by this point too. Still some bumps and things, but the mood swings were less radical, and it seemed to just slowly keep balancing itself out.

The little circle thingies by the post titles will be red if you haven't read or replied to them, but that is all I have figured out, and I don't know where the instructions are for tracking posts.

Hang in there, we are still here for you!

Babby

[CathyH]

Hey, thanks, Babby......I had a pretty rough afternoon and night last night. All physical symptoms, thank God. Felt like I had the flu: Stomach hurt, chills, my balance was wrecked, headache, just generally crumby. Thank God no mental shit. 'Course I wasn't the happiest camper, 'cause I didn't feel good. I've read that these types of symptoms can occur for quite awhile, but if I'm over that mental shit, I can deal with this.

I have a feeling, in my gut, that I am past the worst of it (knock on wood). It's day 19!!!!!! Just think, in two days, it will be a full three weeks :mrgreen:

I'm so grateful for this site, and you people. I have another site I go to regularly, too, and they, too, have been wonderful. It's a site for people who have had electroconvulsive shock therapy. I've had a total of 19 shocks.

Anyway, I'm doing good tonight, and hope everyone else is well, too.

CathyH

[iliao93]

At the top of each page on the left you can click on User Control Panel ,new msgs,View your posts & at the bottom left you can suscribe or unsuscribe to topics.
Also When you are at posting, under where you type your post you can check the box for replies. It is also on the left andis under options & looks like this:
(the box is here) Disable BBCode
Disable smilies
Do not automatically parse URLs
Attach a signature (signatures can be altered via the UCP)
Notify me when a reply is posted

That is what I've stumblrd into so far, hope it helps

[CathyH]

Thanks for the info. I have a hard time with some of this stuff. I used to be able to find my way around the computer pretty well, but not so much anymore.

It's officially day 20, as it is after midnight!!

Had an interesting thing happen tonight. It concerned and disturbed me. I was calling it a night (had enough input for one day), and I was feeling all this pent up emotion. I got out my drawing stuff, and just decided to let whatever come out. I found myself drawing lots of knives with blood, hearts torn to pieces, eyes crying, that sort of stuff. Even wrote a couple of evil sounding poems. I didn't know this was in me. I must be in some pain, DUH.

I don't in any way want to hurt myself or anyone. This was just how my heart was feeling, like torn to shreds. It did help to get it out, but brought some things to my attention. The things I can think of that I am in pain over are my husbands recent indescresions, the pain of my illness and how it has affected my life and those I love, losing so much of my life due to over medication, losing who I am and am meant to be. That was stolen from me by docs that just want to push their pills.

Maybe this is the wrong forum to post this on. I don't expect anyone to be an expert, or fix this or anything. I just wanted to throw this out there, and maybe get some feedback.

I think this may be partly due to the anger I mentioned earlier, too. Pain and anger seem to go hand in hand.

Anyway, I don't want the hospital again, and I don't think I need it. But apparently, I need to get this shit out of me.

CathyH