4 replies to this topic

[deepbreath]

Wow, I'm glad to have found this forum. I consider myself well-educated, intelligent, and determined -- but this road has been a tough one. My story, as brief as I can make it...I'm divorced, I have one grown son who lives nearby, and several animals. I am have my M.S. and Ed.S and before the insanity of getting off cymbalta, I was gearing up to go back for my doctorate.

I have been on Cymbalta for 2 years. I have dealt with depression and multiple major depressive cycles. I've been on Prozac (didn't really help, weight gain), Effexor (practically made me insane, on and off in 3 months), Zoloft (worked fairly well), Wellbutrin (works, currently on 150), probably something else I cannot remember at the moment.

Cymbalta WORKS for me, regarding my depression and fibromyalgia, but the side-effects are too much. The first time i started cymbalta (August of 2010) I began to gain weight. I went from a mainly protein-based meal plan to carbs without even realizing what was happening. I gained at least 35 pounds in the first year. I decided in the summer of 2011 to get off Cymbalta. I had been on 60, went to 30 and then cold turkey. I spent three weeks with weird symptoms like brain zapping, nausea -- basically didn't leave the house and slept all the time (I work at a school, so I had the summer off). The fourth week, I felt like I had to get my butt moving, and I had a pretty good week. The fifth week I began crying at the drop of a hat and for no reason, interspersed with brief rages. Oh -- I forgot to mention my Dr. upped my Wellbutrin from 150 to 300. That dose of wellbutrin is not good for me, I think. Anyway, after the second week of being curled up on my bed crying hysterically, I called my Dr. and told her I would have to go back on the cymbalta because school would start in 2 weeks and there was NO WAY I could go back to work the way I was. In retrospect, I wish I had never chosen to go back on the Cymbalta!!

Going back on the Cymbalta meant gaining another 40 pounds -- then another 20 pounds in the two weeks after I thought I was done tapering off to 0. Yes -- I gained weight BOTH times I went on it, plus gaining when I went off. <sigh> I decided in February that I needed to get off the Cymbalta due to the side effects (not just weight gain). I went from 60 to 30 and did okay. As many here seen to have found, going down from 30 causes problems. I was determined to taper off much more slowly than I had done last summer -- I went to 30, then 30 every other day for several weeks...but still not slow enough. I ended up off the cymbalta and taking FML from work. I am currently on short term disability and I refuse...REFUSE...to go back on cymbalta, no matter what!!!

I am about to begin ECT, because my depression is not every going to just go away -- drugs or not, and I feel like ECT is an option that might allow me to take charge of my depression and be successful in grad school and with what I want to do in my future. OMG, though, I have NEVER felt so bad in my whole life. I feel bad in every possible way -- mentally, emotionally, physically. I don't feel like I am thinking like myself, I cry at EVERYTHING, flu-like symptoms, nausea, I'm never sure how my system is going to react to anything. I was worried I might be having heart problems for a while (a possibility considering the weight gain!) because even taking a shower completely exhausts me and I have to sit to recover. I have been off the cymbalta for 3 weeks, I think -- though I took one last Sunday because I could not stand the side effects any longer.

My question, after all of that -- I am still dealing with a steep set of withdrawal symptoms/side effects, whatever you call them. I do NOT want to go back on the drug, but I am willing to consider a small dosage if it would help me with the all this crap. What do you all think? Should I just stick with being off it, since it's been 3 weeks? Or do I try some to minimize what I'm dealing with? I have smoothed out the stomach issues a bit with simple carbs -- maybe not healthy, but a sip of sprite will settle my stomach and some fruit or cereal will do the same. I've upped my protein as I can, because I think I need it as well. I am so depressed, and it's so weird because usually I can find a way to pull myself out (exercise, reading, something) but the side effects of getting off the cymbalta seem to have taken any power I have to do anything. Coming across this site is the first time I have felt hopeful in what feels like forever....maybe I'm not actually crazy. I found myself just tonight thinking that this is the first time in my life I have truly felt mentally ill.

So, any suggestions?

[TXcounselor]

Man, what an experience you've had! Is your doctor pretty supportive? Does he or she seem to be well informed about Cymbalta? What is ECT? Electroconvulsive Therapy? Have you tried talk therapy with a good therapist? It sounds like you have been through a lot...

It's hard to give you suggestions, but I can tell you I tried 30 mg every other day for a week, then stopped and it was too much to handle. I had to go back on and I have had a better experience going down slower. I have gone from 30 mg to 20 to 15 now and the symptoms are milder this way (7 days at each dose, I'm opening the capsules to make smaller doses). I hope to drop to 10 this wednesday and 5 the next week, then stop. My neuro wasn't helpful but pharmacists have been. I took other antidepressants in the past and I had the best experience with Wellbutrin. This time, I was taking Cymbalta for peripheral neuropathy and I know if I ever need to be back on medication, I won't touch Cymbalta.

Travel sickness pills have been helping with the nausea, but they do knock me out and I'm trying to go to work through this. As for you being off for 3 weeks already, a doctor friend I talked to (not my doc) told me I would probably be past the withdrawal in about a month, but some people take more like 6 weeks - I guess it depends on what you can handle. I hope you have some good support through this! This forum has been very helpful for me. Hang in there.

[deepbreath]

TX --

Thanks for your reply. Silly question, but are you a counselor? I am, so I just wondered.

My Dr. is mainly a PA I've seen since my primary retired (he was amazing). I saw her yesterday, and my guess is she would rather not be my dr -- I think she just has no idea what to do for me, and unlike my retired primary, is not really that interested in looking into things. Unfortunately, it would be difficult to change dr.'s at the moment, since I'm on short term disability. The PA just kept asking "are you sure this is from the Cymbalta?". <sigh> I did get an EKG that showed my heart is okay, and she is willing to send me for a stress test if I want one. She is not a bad doc, just not equipped to deal with what I'm going through (not sure any family doc would be, though).

I do have a therapist, and over the years have been through a good amount of therapy. My depression is definitely endogenous and has a chemical basis, because things can be perfectly okay in my life and I can be hit with a severe depressive episode. I have done a lot of the emotional work in therapy -- it's the chemistry I have not had luck changing yet. That is why I have decided to pursue ECT (electroconvulsive treatment) -- I would not suggest it for everyone, because it is a very serious thing to do (and slightly terrifying to consider what happens if it goes wrong). I am ready to live my life more fully than my current state of depression (and recurrent depression) allows.

Since I have come this far, I think I am not going to mess with going back on even a small dose of Cymbalta. Man, this stuff will really mess a brain up! It is a struggle every minute right now. I am putting the ECT on hold until I am physically feeling better - frankly the nausea, brain zaps, and light-headedness keep me pretty much in bed all day. I have to hope that these physical symptoms will ease up soon. I wish now that I did not go back on the Cymbalta last summer. I would have been better off taking time off from work to deal with the side-effects of withdrawal than going back on. At least I would have saved myself an extra 40 pounds, which only makes everything harder.

I don't envy you trying to work through the withdrawals -- I seriously could not. My job requires a lot from me, and I would be useless -- or worse, I would break into a crying jag in the middle of something. I cried the entire way to my Doctor's yesterday (about 30 minutes) for no real reason. I didn't feel that bad before I left, just started crying in the car. Of course, I also cry at anything I hear or see or read that is the slightest bit emotional (positive or negative). <sigh> I'm a lot of fun right now. My son came by today and he mentioned how it seemed like this detox was a lot like what his friend went through when detoxing off oxycodone. Well, I would have preferred to enjoy the benefits of illicit drug use if I was going to have to suffer through the withdrawals!!

I take ibuprofen for the headaches and pains as needed (sometimes it really upsets my stomach, sometimes not) and benedryl when I get the twitches/itches type feelings. I sometimes take it at night, too, to help me sleep. I have xanax if I need it, and it is helpful during this transition. I may have to pick up some travel sickness pills to see if they work better. It's ridiculous that something I ate yesterday that helped soothe my stomach can make it upset today! I appreciate the suggestions. I agree that Wellbutrin has been one of the best antidepressants for me, as far as the cost/benefit ratio. Zoloft worked fairly well for me as well, though I did see a slight weight gain and a tapering off of effectiveness (which is why I started Cymbalta). I really think ECT may be the ticket for me -- correcting the messed up chemistry without the side effects of continued med use). I might be wrong, but back when I was sane, I decided it was a risk worth taking to possibly have the life I think I could be capable of. <sigh> I try to remember that during these days when I am unsure I will ever be well again, much less work again, and I cannot imagine going back to my job.

I hope you keep hanging in there. I am sure some people have few if any withdrawal problems with Cymbalta, but for those of us who certainly experience a new level of hell. No matter how bad my depression has gotten in the past, NOTHING has ever compared with what I have been dealing with because of this drug. But, if what they say is right and what does not kill us makes us stronger, then we will be pretty f**king strong when we make it through all of this crap!

[TXcounselor]

Yes, I am a counselor. I work mostly with developmental issues with young kids, so it has been easier to work through this than it would be if I was hearing some of the terribly sad stories I have heard in the past. I'd probably cry with them. I'm working full time and trying to finish a dissertation on the side. I'm not sure which is harder...trying to write ON Cymbalta (fogginess!) or trying to write OFF Cymbalta (hell). Thankfully, I have a supportive husband, extended family, friends (counselors and non-counselors) and workplace. Everyone who knows me well knows about this struggle. I don't feel like I have anything to be ashamed of...I think Eli Lilly has something to be ashamed of. I'm weaning over a month and while I feel sick every day, I have been able to work. I took almost a week off when I tried to come off too quickly because I couldn't function AT ALL.

I hear what you say about the chemical problems...no amount of therapy can fix that. I'm sorry you have had to go through so much. I don't know anyone who has done ECT. It sounds scary, but living a life miserably isn't really living, so I can see where anything would seem like an option. I have tried all sorts of stuff...creams, myofascial release, hypnotherapy, plain 'ol talk therapy, baskets of medications. All I know now is I'm done with the meds. I'm trying to get through chronic pain in the most organic ways possible. I'm going to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester in about 10 days to try to figure out the cause of my neuropathy.

Best wishes on your journey. Keep in touch.

[plezhelp]

@deepbreath i am so glad i found yr thread. you articulate so well what my cymbalta experience has been like, and then when i read yr line "..because even taking a shower completely exhausts me and I have to sit to recover." i knew i had found a true advocate! thank you for sharing, and i hope you are improving...i especially hope you will return and let us know.
i also wanted to share with you that i have been taking ginko-biloba about a week for vertigo {which is sounding more like cymbalta-hell induced} and it has improved those symptoms, but also i started to take my cymbalta 2 times a day on the weaning process {approx 30beads in AM and 25 again b4 bed} either of those may be helping...and i don't plan to change anything! i am truly interested in ECT; as i have asked my doctor about it and neuroplasticity. i am a beleiver that we need to retrain the brain. peace&health