10 replies to this topic

[olikunvrhav]

holy hairdo ~ this is why i did NOT want to do counselling/psychiatry bs anymore, cause i wasn't sure where their thots ended and mine began! okay i realize that i need to rework &rewire my brain, and i certainly need to empty it of all the bs i have been fed over the years by both the medical-nazis, as well as untrustworthy & unreliable family and friends/co-workers. i see depression as anger-turned-inward, well now my 'temper' is showing up in some truly unexpected moments. i'm loosing 'my cool' a lot recently, and granted some of the situations it may be warranted, but now i get enraged ~ and that is kinda new for me. i'm sure we all experience moments of anger especially frustration, but now i feel like someone or something is taking over control in my brain ~ and i am awash in anger (great - another way to heat me up to sweat even more!) my one saving grace is the newly acquired 'over-active' bowel and bladder that keeps me running to the bathroom ~ my sanctuary of sorts, as counting to 10 just ain't cutting it! what has happened to all my yoga & zen philosophy?!! i know there are others out there dealing with this but i am getting frustrated reading really old posts and then not being able to find the posters today!! aaaarrrgggghhh ~ having a mini-meltdown! please post here 'newbies' & wise old souls and share your knowledge and experiences, and lets get things more updated and current. thanx ~ & sorry if i offended anyone...well no i am not = i got a freakin headache reading thru so many posts last night only to learn those people are gone or from years back. please lets get a more current thread of sharing 'today's' offences,assaults,apathy,atrocities ~ please!!

[plezhelp]

hi olikunvrhav ~ i enjoyed yr new post! i know that i owe you a reply yet at my post/thread, but its been a wonky few days and i'm not sure how long i will be able to even be on. i started taking ginkgo-baloba for my vertigo (drOz recommended) so my nausea&dizziness have lessened, and my eyes have stopped playing foosball in my head - but i am still struggling with my balance. i sure hope you were able to glean information reading thru even old postings, i know i too was discouraged to learn so many were really old posts ~ but i beleive you can still get useful info from them even if you cannot reach those people anymore.
you have not said if what brought you to cymbalta-hell (?) plez share and hopefully others will be able to add to your searching. peace&love

[olikunvrhav]

howdy ho and here's to another fun-filled day of battling cymbalta! i had decided after reading all that i have here that i too will be 'weaning' off cymbalta. my dr had suggested doing the half dose for 2/3 weeks - but after less than a week i was so sick and literally imploding! i informed him that it was too brutal so he agreed that i should do what works for me and 'count kernals'. i also had read here where a chap shared that "..if you want to know if it's cymbalta symptoms..test by taking some cymbalta and see if symptoms abate.." i am paraphrasing as i have yet to find that particular thread again since i read it during one of my episodic-episodes.
Common sense also tells me that i should split my dose (12 hr intervals - since i read that is how long its 'active' in our system) doing this i noticed right away the vice-grip headaches have lessened, nausea and fatigue is more manageable. i always take my vitamins this way too ~ more economical. i hope this helps others battling this poison.

[plezhelp]

hey...hope you are experiencing success with your attempt to get off the poison. i think you had shared you were planning 'an escape' to the country or something, so maybe you are enjoying a time of disconnect frm the world. look forward to reconnecting with you, peace&love

[olikunvrhav]

well it has been one tough haul recently. i am dealing with swollen aching ankles -- they are so painfull. i cry every night night when i can barely stand --both literally and the pain! we use to call it 'stocking-up' when it happened to horses, and i have been practicing the same treatment(s) we use for them: first we sweat them {instead of a furacin sweat i am using a castor oil sweat}then i sit in a lawn chair in the back yard and allow the sprinkler to 'cold water hose' them. just b4 bed i soak them in 1-2 cups epsom salts & hot water - wrapping soaked towels to my knees. i am also taking 3 times day 75/200mcg arthrotec. the pain is almost unbearable, and it takes everything i have not to break down weeping constantly from the pain. i even walk {just like we did the horses} NOthing seems to work..except when i finally fall into bed asleep exhausted, by morning the fill is gone. yet as i sit here this AM i am feeling the horrible throbbing begin and i can literally watch/notice as my ankles and feet begin to fill with fluid. Anyone else experiencing this from cymbalta-hell-withdrawl?? i am aware and careful about salt intake, so any suggestions of how to rid the swelling or manage the pain better? i need help ..or i will have to do what we do with the suffering broken down horses - take me out back and shoot Me!!

[olikunvrhav]

tho that turns out is the same in 'drugs' as it is in retail = where they love to bait & switch you {they will get you in/hooked with a sweet deal at beginning, then the quality/quantity always seems to drop - yet by then they play on how much you need it} i was fine when i was able to buy large amounts or even get 'shake' to make my own edibles. i thot when your dealer is also a user it would guarantee the quality/quantity factor, well they think you should use as much as 'they' and are quick to think you are not supporting them enough and become belligerent.
most dealers in canada prefer to deliver and also sample with you - so they know you are not a narc, and know where you live!! unfortunately i prefer to ingest rather than smoke {and tincture is new here} plus i wanted to give my doctors the benefit of trying their recommendations..
i guess if i learned anything from all this BS - its that i KNOW myself better than anyone else, and i need to fight for myself more..and be more skeptical and protective, and less trusting and naive.
the pain of coming off cymbalta is pure hell and i am fully prepared to fight so NO ONE else suffers like this...but first i need to get well/better - i am almost useless as i am now...fkn cymbalta poison will not win!

[plezhelp]

hey olikunvrhav here's my update:
ok - i do not like playing 'the numbers' game, but i did just come thru my 2nd month of being cymbalta-free = my re-birth-day! i wish i could say it's over & it's all good, but i can say it's improving more each month = the anguish days are sowly being replaced with better days. i wanted to stay completely 'drug-free' yet the battle with pain in my back/knees/ankles/feet was off the charts. NO fkn way was i interested in ever going back on cymbalta because i learned enough that shit only alleviates the pain till you became immune and then need to up the dose = what fkn good is that?? tylenol 3's {which i am prescribed to take up to 6/day = are virtually useless {as well as any drug store meds} so i don't take, but have had to go on arthotec75 daily since the end of august as i could hardly walk.
i had just moved so i kept chalking up most of the 'pain' to over exertion/stress etc, yet i was very careful not to overdo anything or overthink. i still have bouts of needing to sleep lots; still have days when i need to lock myself away from the world and decompress; i have learned that physical pain truly changes a person = i cry easily; i get angry super-quick; i just crave/desire peace & quiet as i startle easily; and i yearn &meditate for pain free moments; my stomach is problematic likely due to cymbalta mostly 'frying it'...like our brains - and certainly arthotec is aggravating it = but i need some release from pain or i will go insane!
i wish i could say it gets easier but right now that is too misleading and discouraging as so many of us find that when we believe we have broken thru...we only wind up in a reprieve then we are right back in the thick of the battle with bullshit side effects.
this stuff is fkn poison = and until they begin listening to Us {who have been there done that} there will be countless others who need to learn and come to these forums, so for the record all you one hit wonders = who fkn post one damn time then go fkn hide = PISS OFF! you wreak just as much damage to people trying to come off this shit; and i noticed a pattern that most one-hitters are/chose to go 'cold-turkey'...so maybe they really have "left the building" = cause this shit is Not something you want to just stop - it will come back to bite you in the ass.
you have to be aware and educate & arm yourself with a mountain of arsenal so you can a fight a good fight. being flexible and open to try different methods/things you glean from others WHO HAVE BEEN THERE...AND ARE STILL HERE = its necessary to beat it. realize 2 that as each of us is unique in certain ways = & this fkn drug has/will morphe into whatever IS our own personal-hell...you need to be diligent and own it = its basically up to ourselves to make "us" better.
so you gotta admit for something that was touted as "non-addictive or habit forming" well i think they should just put the shit-cymbalta in the water of those who peddle/push/created it - and then take it away...let's see what the assholes "say" then.

So in summary it seems that the cymbalta continues its' wretched battle to wreak havoc - tho the intensity is still there most days it is lessening in duration each month.

[olikunvrhav]

wow, thank you so much for reaching out plezhelp.
i did get lost in my own experiment with pain-management recently. it started with a nice holiday in wine country, tho not a huge fan of wine - i was desperate to 'feel nothing' and especially to lighten my physical pain.
long story short turns out all the warning labels to limit alcohol intake while taking certain pain-meds is not without some merit. it started innocently enough when i forgot when/if i took anything for pain that day; since i was just planning a nice relaxing day in the sun, and to eventually meet up with a good friend and his boat. He also brought his good friend 'alcohol' aka wine. After some sun, fun, and fckn oblivion - truthfully all my bleak days just totally disappeared and were forgotten. Any pain was virtually non existent - which why would any person choose to experience life any other way(?) i was happy like i had not been in so very long; i laughed again, and even loved (well i got jiggy with it!) OMG i forgot how healing orgasms truly can be!
WTF is this shit they put us on?? Who the hell gave them the right to take away the few pleasures that this harsh life has a way of diminishing over the years anyways? i'm only in my 40's and yet i was feeling re-energized, uninhibited, hopeful and virtually pain free. to have achieved that for even a brief time was so rewarding and so healing.
i came home to more pain filled majorly frustrating days trying to figure out what the hell am i to do next?? i remember a friend sharing a verse in the bible (in psalms or proverbs) it basically said "give wine to the hurting." i concur now,
So.....i will keep you posted!

[olikunvrhav]

question: anyone else notice that the withdrawal symptoms are cyclical?
i am not long off cymbalta and i know weaning was the kindest way to come off it (and so far successful ~ FOR ME) yet the side effects seem to lift somewhat, and then come back with a vengeance after a time(?) anyone else notice this pattern?
For me alcohol is not the route i want to take long term for pain management ~ its too hi-caloric and i want to get rid of the excess junk-in-my-trunk!
I still need to find the most successful way to manage the pain-filled days that knock me on my ass.

[Heartfeathers]

Yes! yes! yes! The withdrawal symptoms ARE cyclical!! Every few weeks .. BAM!!

[plezhelp]

well hopefully this will be some long awaited "good news" on the cymbalta withdraw front(?)
i will try to shorten this and yet i need to share necessary info leading up to it, so please bear with me. don't get me wrong = CYMBALTA IS FKN POISON and it needs to be pulled off the shelf and obliterated, but i have discovered an interesting thing and i am wondering if it is an anomoly (?) so plez...anyone else experience something similar after withdrawal??
setting this up: i still love my new place and i have experienced a real lightening of my being. there has been a lot of healing with the peaceful solitude i am allotted, and tho i still experience pain-filled moments/days when i feel like my body is attacking itself with a baseball bat...where my bones feel like they are shattering - those intense days are becoming farther in between.
i am also experiencing some truly magnificent days...where "i feel" actually hopeful/happy about a better future. this is taking practice and working at being mindful. i have not felt this way in a long time so i am experiencing this as mostly de-ja-vu...since its been tooo long since i have been able to connect with that 'positive' feeling.
Recently my roommate chose to share some of his less attractive-side with/at me, yet what impressed me was that tho i still have a fairly high tolerance level for bitchy stupid people - when the attack became full on 'personal' i stood up & fought back. i stood my ground! No fkn way has this asshole earned any right to spew on/at me - and tho i love & appreciate this place...i am NOT going to live in fear. i manifested this home and i will manifest an even better next one!
interestingly for me was his feeble attempt at an apology the next day; when it occurred to me that i have NEVER experienced a proper apology my entire life. there's actually 3 parts to a proper apology: #1 - the perpetrator must seek out the individual they have wronged; #2 - the perp must in his own words articulate Exactly what THEY did (wrong) #3 - THEY seek atonement = where the perp must ask what THEY need to do (which is DECIDED by the wronged one) to reestablish the broken trust.
i have practiced this apology and it has never failed to be an interesting classroom = it is certainly NOT easy, which is probably why i yearn most in my life to here these 3 words more than any others: "i was wrong."
ok back to the 'anomaly' - the rage that was stirred up in me thru use of cymbalta-poison - might it have some "use"? i am wondering if this is a"silver-lining"(?)
my roommate attempted to make light of...or even conveniently try 'forget about it' - but that's not doing it for me; in my mind i have been put on notice = next time the gloves come off and i go literally jackie-chan on his ass! i'm not interested in being a martyr. tho this place is far better for me than the last...i refuse to live in fear. Not surprising this guy has burned thru 3 roommates in less than a year = but all that said i am more interested in the change/impact on/in me. i choose to see this as a classroom experience: i have battled depression most of my life and i believe depression IS anger turned inward. i did NOTHING to bring on my roommates temper tantrum, and NOTHING to deserve the shit he spewed; so unfortunately i am made aware that i still have many raw-wounds from my past and he just unfortunately was the 'tool' that was used to direct my focus on some unhealed parts.
All said...has anyone else experienced this? Anyone else have a type of awakening of their self-preservation? plez share or am i totally alone in this(?)