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#31 becki

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 09:32 PM

oh, stubborn, that's bad. I'm so sorry. Don't feel bad for venting here.....we need a place we can do that.
I'm so tired of not being able to move my head, otherwise everything just spins. And my husband is very good to me, and yet I'm really pissed at him. For nothing. This SUCKS....but it's part of the process. We just have to keep telling each other.
When you get past this, then I suggest you re-evaluate the situation with your MIL. It sounds really bad. But you don't want to make any life changing decisions this week!! Come here, and vent to me, I"ll listen! :)
Hang in there. One more day down.

#32 becki

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 09:37 PM

Stubborn, becki, teresa,

Just to let you know I'm thinking about you all and wishing you well.

I'm almost a month Cymbalta free now and I have a new found respect for myself that I had the strength to get this far.
I tried and failed to get off it before, but this time, even if I fail again, at least I'll fail better :)

I'm trying to accept the emotional pain and the panic, and to learn to listen to my body.

I feel like I've turned a corner today. It's the first time I've felt motivated, energetic and purposeful since I stopped the ADs. Long may it last.

All my positive wishes to you XXX

Wow, Lazydaizy, so glad to hear you are having a good day. Thanks for the good thoughts. I need them. Only on day 5, and feeling like this will never end. I'm not giving up......it has to get better. right? please!! :)

#33 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 10:12 PM

oh, stubborn, that's bad. I'm so sorry. Don't feel bad for venting here.....we need a place we can do that.
I'm so tired of not being able to move my head, otherwise everything just spins. And my husband is very good to me, and yet I'm really pissed at him. For nothing. This SUCKS....but it's part of the process. We just have to keep telling each other.
When you get past this, then I suggest you re-evaluate the situation with your MIL. It sounds really bad. But you don't want to make any life changing decisions this week!! Come here, and vent to me, I"ll listen! :)
Hang in there. One more day down.


Thank you, you are right. As much as I would like to throw her stuff on the lawn and tell her to go live under the bridge, doing it out of cymbalta rage probably isn't the best way to go. I think the numbness from the cymbalta turned me, uncharacteristically, into a door mat. I'm normally a pretty kind person but coming off and feeling again I'm wondering how I let a few situations go so far. The good news is, that even though I'm feeling bad, at least I'm feeling again. It has to suck to be pissed at your husband for no reason :( One more day down. Get through this then re-evaluate and dig out!

#34 Lazydaizy

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    I recently weaned off Cymbalta, after using it for 2 years for depression. The depression is gone, but now I'm in the withdrawal horrors

Posted 15 August 2012 - 03:37 AM

Okay, so I'm having a bad night. I'm sorry to bitch but it helps to vent sometimes. I went running at the gym and felt great. I felt human and didn't want to stop. They have a room at the base gym where parents can work out and the kids have a play area with toys. Maybe I need to just take a few sleeping bags and stay at the gym. About an hour later I got a lot of my old aches and pains back, times 100. The pain in my back is excruciating, I have a migraine and I feel really really agitated. My brain is zapping like crazy and I have the really bad vertigo. My belly doesn't feel good either. Somehow, I managed to be awarded an adult human in my divorce. That's right, my ex mother in law follows me and "can't find an apartment" and has lived in my house since June. She eats my food, drinks my coffee, makes messes, pees on my stuff, you name it. She completely undermines my parenting decisions and feeds them horrible crap like donuts, fried baloney etc after I AND my ex-husband have repeatedly asked her not to. It's like having a teenage daughter, she makes it out like she's helping me by watching the kids while I'm at work but she's more expensive than day care and at least in daycare they wouldn't be sitting on the couch doing nothing all damn day. She thought I was at work this morning and I found her in my bed, IN MY BED, it's my bed. I come home every day after working, just want to play with my kids and have to clean up the disaster she's made of my kitchen. GRRRRRRRRRR! Anyway, that is the focus of my rage tonight. I want to tell her to get the eff out of my house. I'm a little OCD but again, it's MY HOUSE! Thank you, as always, for listening.


OMG stubborn it's no wonder you're hitting a wall. I think if my mil moved in one one us would end up buried under the patio. That's extra stress you just do not need.
It seems like you've answered your own anger by saying that you need her to get the eff outta your home. When you feel up to it, ask around about childcare. I think we all know how fragile and precious our mental health is, and a doughnut dispensing mess machine will not help you get better. Much love and best wishes to you XXX

#35 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 04:17 PM

OMG stubborn it's no wonder you're hitting a wall. I think if my mil moved in one one us would end up buried under the patio. That's extra stress you just do not need.
It seems like you've answered your own anger by saying that you need her to get the eff outta your home. When you feel up to it, ask around about childcare. I think we all know how fragile and precious our mental health is, and a doughnut dispensing mess machine will not help you get better. Much love and best wishes to you XXX

Usually you lose the MIL in a divorce but NOPE!!! I have the childcare plans ready, I just feel so bad for some reason even though I'm being totally taken advantage of. Part of it is that my kids already dealt with their dad leaving, I hate the thought of taking someone out of their life. I'm hoping the clarity that comes with stopping cymbalta will help me stick up for myself. I couldn't imagine being in someone's home and feeling unwelcome, so I empathize, but I would never act like this in another person's home, nor would I stay, rent free, for months. Thank you though, I am fragile and that's where my latest rage goes, I'm just not up to taking the plunge and throwing her out.

I'm so glad I have the great people on this website. I hope everyone is hanging in there today.

#36 becki

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 07:27 PM

since we're complaining so much anyway...can I add more to my list of complaints??
my hair won't stop falling out!!! Tell me this is going to stop! Please!!!!!
ugh. Oh, and the nightmares started last night.
life is so fun now. (that's my sarcasm).

#37 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:51 PM

since we're complaining so much anyway...can I add more to my list of complaints??
my hair won't stop falling out!!! Tell me this is going to stop! Please!!!!!
ugh. Oh, and the nightmares started last night.
life is so fun now. (that's my sarcasm).


Complain as much as you want!!!!! I had the hair falling out as a side effect of taking the cymbalta. I haven't really noticed a change either way since stopping. You have nightmares on top of everything else????? That sucks! Did you have them while on the medication too? Or only through withdrawal? I'm going to research the hair thing a little more. I really really hope that it will stop for you very soon. Now would be good. That could either be straight withdrawal or possibly the emotional duress as a result of the withdrawal?

Ugh! One more day down! I'll be with you at the gym in spirit tomorrow, sweating more of this horrible stuff out!

#38 becki

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 11:04 AM

stubborn,no gym for me today. by 9:30, I had already made 3 trips to the high school, driving my two oldest back and forth to different practices. ugh. then throw in a Dora memory game with the 6 year old. That was fun with my brain that can't think straight!
re: hair falling out....has been happening for 3 years! I never put it together it was this dumb medicine. I would go to my dr every few months with the same complaints...."i'm exhausted all the time, my hair is falling out, and I work out like crazy and eat really good, and can't lose a pound"......she just kept sending me for bloodwork (only to say everything was fine), and suggesting trying more drugs. I felt like I was slowly dying, literally. Now I realize it was probalby ALL from being on this drug, that I thought I was taking all along to be HELPING me. I'm so mad about this! I have read hair falling out is a side of effect of the drug (I didn't find that until I did some really hard digging and research, it's not widely advertised anywhere), and is also a withdrawal side effect. Here's hoping it stops soon before I have none left. ugh.
and Re: nightmares.....I have seen posts on this sight about them coming with the w/d's , but I didn't let myself read them, becuase I didn't want to put the idea into my head that it could happen. it happened anyway. But so far, only one really bad night.
I feel about the same today.....day SEVEN! But i'm one week down of no drug, and I"m not turning back.
HOw are you today? hope you're hanging in there.

#39 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 04:38 PM

stubborn,no gym for me today. by 9:30, I had already made 3 trips to the high school, driving my two oldest back and forth to different practices. ugh. then throw in a Dora memory game with the 6 year old. That was fun with my brain that can't think straight!
re: hair falling out....has been happening for 3 years! I never put it together it was this dumb medicine. I would go to my dr every few months with the same complaints...."i'm exhausted all the time, my hair is falling out, and I work out like crazy and eat really good, and can't lose a pound"......she just kept sending me for bloodwork (only to say everything was fine), and suggesting trying more drugs. I felt like I was slowly dying, literally. Now I realize it was probalby ALL from being on this drug, that I thought I was taking all along to be HELPING me. I'm so mad about this! I have read hair falling out is a side of effect of the drug (I didn't find that until I did some really hard digging and research, it's not widely advertised anywhere), and is also a withdrawal side effect. Here's hoping it stops soon before I have none left. ugh.
and Re: nightmares.....I have seen posts on this sight about them coming with the w/d's , but I didn't let myself read them, becuase I didn't want to put the idea into my head that it could happen. it happened anyway. But so far, only one really bad night.
I feel about the same today.....day SEVEN! But i'm one week down of no drug, and I"m not turning back.
HOw are you today? hope you're hanging in there.


Day 6 for me!!!!!!! I didn't make it to the gym this morning either, I had the day off but I spent most of the morning registering my oldest for kindergarten. I'm going to go to a cross-fit type class at the krav maga gym in about an hour. That class KICKS MY BUTT so I'm hoping it will help. I've had a pretty good day today! I still have lots of zaps but they don't seem to bother me as much today. Maybe they are decreasing in intensity. I did some research on the hair thing too. Like you said, sounds like cymbalta is to blame (again). The stress that the withdrawal is causing your body is most likely making it worse.

I have been going to the krav maga gym a lot but doing less actual martial arts classes because when I get stuck with a d-bag partner it makes me really angry and I don't enjoy the class as much as I usually do. I'm really not very nice right now :( Again, I seem to take it out on strangers, so I'm lucky there. Most people probably don't even know they've pissed me off!!!!

No nightmares for me yet, or no more than the usual nightmares that I had on cymbalta. I've had some very odd, vivid dreams with the withdrawal but nightmares haven't kicked in yet. The cymbalta side effects sound similar to those of hypothyroidism, which is odd.

Either way, another day down (ONE WEEK FOR YOU YAY!!!!!!!) and closer to being done with cymbalta.

#40 olikunvrhav

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 07:35 PM

Question stubborn47 = Why are you not kicking out the extra/unwanted roommate?? i don't care who they are {sperm donor, egg donor, or stray idiot you picked up off the street} fundamentally things have changed = YOUR life has hugely changed, so get your husband to find dumb-mom an apartment = hell pay for the first month(S) cause it will be cheaper in the long run = and oodles less distressing for YOU.
i'm not interested in arguing semantics here, its just i am curious if there's a possibility of one good thing to come out of your cymbalta heallacoaster ride that it might be that YOU NEED to thro out/off others' bullshit problems - and get about taking better care of YOU.
If momma ain't happy...ain't NObody gonna be happy - right?
if i learned anything working/living this long "We cannot save everybody" and i see a lot of us battling depression as self induced martyrs...And how's THAT working out for us!!"

#41 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 16 August 2012 - 10:03 PM

Question stubborn47 = Why are you not kicking out the extra/unwanted roommate?? i don't care who they are {sperm donor, egg donor, or stray idiot you picked up off the street} fundamentally things have changed = YOUR life has hugely changed, so get your husband to find dumb-mom an apartment = hell pay for the first month(S) cause it will be cheaper in the long run = and oodles less distressing for YOU.
i'm not interested in arguing semantics here, its just i am curious if there's a possibility of one good thing to come out of your cymbalta heallacoaster ride that it might be that YOU NEED to thro out/off others' bullshit problems - and get about taking better care of YOU.
If momma ain't happy...ain't NObody gonna be happy - right?
if i learned anything working/living this long "We cannot save everybody" and i see a lot of us battling depression as self induced martyrs...And how's THAT working out for us!!"


You have an excellent point. I'm pretty sure that's one of the many changes that will come out of this. I really think that being numb for two years really turned me into a door mat. One of two things is going to happen: She will support herself here, or she will go back home to her family. I'm slowly digging myself out.

Thank you for the additional motivation though!!! Hearing other people say what I'm thinking reminds me that this really is an unbearable situation and that it's not just my craziness :) Time to dig out.

I have totally become a self-induced martyr and that's not who I want to be!!!!! I have to worry about my feelings too!

Hope you are doing well!

#42 plezhelp

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 12:04 PM

i too have been made aware of what a 'martyr' i had/have become = NOT who i want to be(but it runs in my family) i truly beleive a lot of our depression is due to this faulty thinking, just another insideous indoctrination "suffering b good 4 the soul" = NO IT FKN IS NOT!! i am noticing now how true it is that what we 'put out' attracts back to us more of the same = i'm fkn done being a victim. i deserve love & respect = and not the phony ass shit that people pass out cheaply. i value my time = MYSELF, and since children learn best by example why not tweak your understanding of self-love and decide to be the best EXAMPLE to those watching & learning from you(?) this is NOT to think/manipulate others = but to check yrself and make sure the choices you are making ARE THE BEST FOR YOU! remember this is a new mind-set and will take practice and tweaking along the way, but i am starting to notice a 'natural' level of respect coming to me thru no 'demand' = but by my attitude/action toward myself. i guess i am reminding myself what it feels like to stand up for myself {like i was always stepping up and fighting for others} now i do for myself so i learn/know again what it feels like - and it BE GOOD!!

Nameste'

#43 plezhelp

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 12:05 PM

:blink: :unsure: :rolleyes:
thanx for sharing stubborn47 - i've truly enjoyed reading yr posts.

#44 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 04:45 PM

Thank you! I really did need a nudge. I researched some options and it is WAY cheaper to use daycare and I think it would be better for everyone involved. My type A personality is slowly creeping back. This whole thing almost feels like dying my hair for years and trying to remember what my natural color was :) Glad to be feeling again! I'm fkn done being a victim too! One week of cymbalta withdrawal DOWN!!!!!

I still have crazy road rage. I always get mad at stupid drivers but it's definitely worse with the withdrawal. If anyone lives in San Antonio and sees my crazy arse out on the street, I apologize in advance!

Karen

#45 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 06:20 PM

So I'm crying and I'm not sure why. I don't even really feel sad, but I felt the tears coming and they started coming.

#46 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 08:06 PM

So I still can't stop crying, it's upsetting the kids. I can't help it. On another note, I told my ex husband that the employee relationship with his mom is over and if she's not out by the end of the month, she's going back to VA. I will not take the kids from her. She is welcome to live here and see the kids whenever she wants but I will not pay her to watch the kids anymore. That is over. If I was paying someone else to watch the kids and they acted like her, I would fire them.

I think I just have to get through all of the stuff I was numbed through and I'll be okay.

#47 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 08:08 PM

i too have been made aware of what a 'martyr' i had/have become = NOT who i want to be(but it runs in my family) i truly beleive a lot of our depression is due to this faulty thinking, just another insideous indoctrination "suffering b good 4 the soul" = NO IT FKN IS NOT!! i am noticing now how true it is that what we 'put out' attracts back to us more of the same = i'm fkn done being a victim. i deserve love & respect = and not the phony ass shit that people pass out cheaply. i value my time = MYSELF, and since children learn best by example why not tweak your understanding of self-love and decide to be the best EXAMPLE to those watching & learning from you(?) this is NOT to think/manipulate others = but to check yrself and make sure the choices you are making ARE THE BEST FOR YOU! remember this is a new mind-set and will take practice and tweaking along the way, but i am starting to notice a 'natural' level of respect coming to me thru no 'demand' = but by my attitude/action toward myself. i guess i am reminding myself what it feels like to stand up for myself {like i was always stepping up and fighting for others} now i do for myself so i learn/know again what it feels like - and it BE GOOD!!

Nameste'


Great inspiration! Thank you!!!!!! I really want to get there!!!!

#48 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 10:25 PM

The dark cloud that was making me cry seems to have passed, but now the zaps are pretty intense, I feel like I could jump start a car. One more day evicting this crap from my body. I think I need to go to a krav maga class in the morning and sweat/hit some stuff!!!!!

#49 plezhelp

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 10:30 PM

hey stubborn47, i shared this at another post...i think you need to see/read it too:

"Tears are a river that take you somewhere.
Weeping creates a river around the boat that carries your life-soul.
Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground,
carrying it downriver to someplace new -
somewhere better."

hope this helps = it sure does 4 me!

#50 becki

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Posted 17 August 2012 - 10:36 PM

Stubborn what a day for you.
Hope tomorrow is better. One day further from this crap.....

#51 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 07:54 AM

hey stubborn47, i shared this at another post...i think you need to see/read it too:

"Tears are a river that take you somewhere.
Weeping creates a river around the boat that carries your life-soul.
Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground,
carrying it downriver to someplace new -
somewhere better."

hope this helps = it sure does 4 me!


I really like that!!!!! I might even print it out and stick it to my bathroom mirror, maybe stash one on my desk drawer, thank you!

#52 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 07:57 AM

Stubborn what a day for you.
Hope tomorrow is better. One day further from this crap.....


For the most part, the crying just really freaked me out. I don't really cry very often, I get upset, that's just not normally how it comes out. I'm sure it was probably good for me. I woke up feeling pretty good this morning so that's a start.

How are YOU doing?

So I changed my profile name. I don't know why, I just did. :)

#53 Unsure

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 12:29 PM

I was just prescribed (this morning),Cymbalta 30mg, (also given a RX for 60mg) for chronic pain and anxiety. Have not filled it yet. Wanted to come online and read about it-when I found this site. Now I am really confused!!?? I was thinking this was the solution-from what the Dr. was telling me, non-habit forming and a great solution. From everything I have read, it sounds like a nightmare. Anyfeedback would be greatly appreciated. Any recommendations of what someone would do in my position?? Thanks.

#54 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 01:08 PM

I was just prescribed (this morning),Cymbalta 30mg, (also given a RX for 60mg) for chronic pain and anxiety. Have not filled it yet. Wanted to come online and read about it-when I found this site. Now I am really confused!!?? I was thinking this was the solution-from what the Dr. was telling me, non-habit forming and a great solution. From everything I have read, it sounds like a nightmare. Anyfeedback would be greatly appreciated. Any recommendations of what someone would do in my position?? Thanks.

I by no means want to tell you what to do, or judge you regardless of your decision. That said, if I could go back to the day my doctor started me on 30 mg (for fibromyalgia) I would take the samples to the pharmacy, ask that they be destroyed along with my 60 mg prescription. Cymbalta is absolutely habit forming. It's hard on your liver and there are some studies linking it to problems with the pancreas and type II diabetes. It numbed me through a terrible divorce and some other rough stuff and now that I'm stopping the drug it feels like the third ring of hell. I will say that initially, it did help with the fibro/nerve pain, but that was temporary for me and I had sleep issues, lots of hair falling out and felt like a zombie along with too many side effects to list. I've suffered anxiety for most of my life but did not want to go the medication route. The cymbalta took the edge off but I really wasn't feeling anything, good or bad and I need to feel.

Coming off, my nerve pain is off the charts again, the best fixes are exercise, guided meditation and taking things one day at a time.

Again, totally your decision but having gone through what I have and knowing what I know now, I would never EVER take that medication again. The pain is more manageable than the side effects and withdrawal when it is finally time to come off.

If you decide not to take the medication, there are a lot of people with fibro on this site and a lot of people with anxiety as well. Feel free to stick around and ask/vent/get ideas whatever. I'll be more than willing to tell you what worked/didn't work for me dealing with fibro. Everyone is different but if you try enough ideas, you should find something that helps.

Best wishes!

Karen

#55 becki

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 01:30 PM

I was just prescribed (this morning),Cymbalta 30mg, (also given a RX for 60mg) for chronic pain and anxiety. Have not filled it yet. Wanted to come online and read about it-when I found this site. Now I am really confused!!?? I was thinking this was the solution-from what the Dr. was telling me, non-habit forming and a great solution. From everything I have read, it sounds like a nightmare. Anyfeedback would be greatly appreciated. Any recommendations of what someone would do in my position?? Thanks.

Unsure, I have to agree with everything Karen said. I was also prescribed for fibro/nerve pain. And same as Karen, it did help initially and did *seem* like a "wonder drug". After a year or two, though I started so many terrible side effects, that I had NO IDEA were caused by the cymbalta, even after complaining to my dr, over and over about the same symptoms (exhaustion, hair falling out, weight gain, no energy,). Add to that, I literally have felt NOTHING for the past few years in my mood. My marriage has almost been destroyed over and over again. I know this sounds extreme, but I really have linked every single one of these things to the cymbalta. And now that I am trying to get off it, I am in even worse hell......waiting for the day it will stop and I will feel better.
I also know the physical pain of fibro, and I know the feeling of "i'll take anything to make this pain go away". But really do your research before you start any pills. There are many diets/clean eating that seem to help with the pain, you might want to try that approach first, if you haven't already.
Best wishes to you.
Becki

#56 becki

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 01:33 PM

For the most part, the crying just really freaked me out. I don't really cry very often, I get upset, that's just not normally how it comes out. I'm sure it was probably good for me. I woke up feeling pretty good this morning so that's a start.

How are YOU doing?

So I changed my profile name. I don't know why, I just did. :)

Karen, I like your new profile name! :)
I understand about the crying....I have rarely cried for many years, and spent this morning crying.
I"m just so irritable. I hate myself right now. Wondering what "normal" will feel like if I ever get there again. I might be normal and bald with how my hair keeps falling out. BUT...one day further! I'm not going back.

#57 KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 18 August 2012 - 06:21 PM

Karen, I like your new profile name! :)
I understand about the crying....I have rarely cried for many years, and spent this morning crying.
I"m just so irritable. I hate myself right now. Wondering what "normal" will feel like if I ever get there again. I might be normal and bald with how my hair keeps falling out. BUT...one day further! I'm not going back.


Thank you! I initially just slapped something up there because I was desperate for help. Stubborn for refusing to continue any more tapering and just "doing this" and 47 is a shout out to a favorite football player. Decided to use my real name, added middle cause it was taken. On that note, stopping the drug entirely is worse than the taper, but the taper involved almost two months of misery. I still don't advocate cold turkey, but I might have tapered faster had I known this was the inevitable end result.

The crying this is just so bizarre. Please don't hate yourself :( You've helped a lot of people on this site, I'm sure you do the same in life. Just hate the cymbalta and what's it's turned you into, but not yourself :)

I can't find anything on the hair. I've found lots of people who had it as either side effect or withdrawal symptoms, but no solutions. I'll keep looking.

I seem to be alternating between better days and awful days right now. Crazy roller coaster! Today is one of the better days, zaps and the normal everyday migraine, but much better than yesterday. I was really freaking out yesterday.

#58 becki

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Posted 19 August 2012 - 10:21 AM

Karen, sent you a PM on here, let me know if you got it.
My bones hurt. This is never ending.
And I have this strange feeling like i just want to laugh. this is so so weird. I don't think I better go out in public, people are gonna think i"m crazy.

#59 KarenAnnabelle

KarenAnnabelle

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 06:09 PM

Karen, sent you a PM on here, let me know if you got it.
My bones hurt. This is never ending.
And I have this strange feeling like i just want to laugh. this is so so weird. I don't think I better go out in public, people are gonna think i"m crazy.


Sorry I've been off of the site for a couple of days. A/C went out, warning lights came on car dashboard, everything at once. I got your PM and replied. Did you get my response?

I'm kind of having some weird emotional stuff too (better than the crying though) and just feel out of whack. The brain zaps are really slowing down and I'm thankful for that. I haven't had the laughing thing, but I'd rather see you laughing than crying :)

#60 becki

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Posted 21 August 2012 - 07:02 PM

Sorry I've been off of the site for a couple of days. A/C went out, warning lights came on car dashboard, everything at once. I got your PM and replied. Did you get my response?

I'm kind of having some weird emotional stuff too (better than the crying though) and just feel out of whack. The brain zaps are really slowing down and I'm thankful for that. I haven't had the laughing thing, but I'd rather see you laughing than crying :)


No, I didn't get your get PM. send it again?
Sorry to hear everything hitting at once, not what you need right now.
My moods are really weird, either really high, or really irritable. And they change in a heartbeat. But I actually feel some JOY....its a word that just keeps coming to me, and I think its something I haven't felt for a very long time. And I have energy. Real energy.
I'm so afraid to get my hopes up...but I think its gonna get better!



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