13 replies to this topic

[marbles]

I was writing on any new drugs to help cymbalta which I think was the wrong topic. for me. This is the one I should have written the words I wrote about. Please read.I feel very vunerable. I don`t want to make mistakes that are bed for me. any advice? i know I am driving people crazy but I have no where to turn to that understand.

[marbles]

Thanks so much for your bot replys.Today is the second day of celexa and I have had no more brain zaps.I can stand noise a little better.I am still fearful and extremely frightened that I went into such a DEEP depression. The saddest thing is that there is hardly noone to talk to (not counting this forum ) that understand. It deeply saddens me that people think depressed people don`t try. But the good news is that I may still feel bad but not as bad as I was .!!!!
IAs far as my husband and daughter, I will learn not to bother them with my problem and just do what they want . Right now I do not know how to handle that.
Tonight I go to my first depression group meeting. I hope to find their some people like here on the forum who understand.....just understand....shirl

[marbles]

Thanks Houdi,
Well, I have to say I was rather dissapointed in the meeting. Why? Because only Myself and a man who runs the meetings showed up. I guess I conjured up in my head all kinds of people surrounded in a circle and everyone telling something of themselves and helping me to not just say they have been there , but how they got past it....I want to find ways to become a better me and then I could maybe help someone else. Since my depression is a lifelong chronic to severe at times depression, I have a hard time "getting ahead" in life.,. I don`t like that part of me and I want better. I feel everyone on this forum deserves all the good things in life as other people.
But anyway, I will try to keep going to the group? and also try therapy again. (when I can)...
I think depressed people should be rich as we have a hard time (-:
I do feel better though from stopping the cymbalta.
One thing I did get at the "group" session was a callender to mark my moods from little to moderate to severe. I think all people who get anything for depression need that if they can as i tend to forget when I felt a bad way or what actually happened when i had the feeling that that made me feel unhappy etc....kind of hard for me to explain.
I also keep a journal/diary.
My priority now that I feel somewhat better (thank God ) is to get back to work as soon as possible, and KEEP it ....(-: Do you have problems with keeping jobs or anyone on the forum? I somehow lose interest very fast in everything I start. Then I make bad decisions like Quitting before I really get to know the job,,,,or i feel not good enough ,,,,whatever my mood is in on that job . I actually hate that part about myself .
As far as my daughter she came home tonight in a good mood .My husband is happy that I am feeling better and doing things and not just staying in the bed. I hope I never get so depressed again ,because maybe it scared him. People who are not the depressed type do not understand. But anyway I feel people here care and are there if I need them.
Houdi , how are you doing? I hope good so you can tell me some good new beginnings in your life.....shirl

[marbles]

Hey Houdi,
Hum... 3 things from yesterday?.

1# still breathing

2#still have cars

3# brother`s C/t scan turned out good

Thats about as good as it gets (right now)

Still trying to climb that ladder to get better!

Thanks for sharing.....shirl

[marbles]

Hi Houdi,Thanks for writing back.It is nice to keep in touch with everyone. Well,I honestly do not know where I am on the scale of health but I do know I feel better than I did,also than yesterday when I slept all day!
You know Houdi, You said you took cmbalta for fibromyalgia, I also took cymbalta for nerve pain in my legs along with the plus of depression medicine. It really did take care of the nerve pain>I will give it credit for that,but nothing else.My turning point of getting off was when my family (more than me ) noticed I was so....angry.I would feel like road rage in the area of work or area of homelife.It just wasn`t me.If you knew me in person,I can guareentee that you would say(she is so nice and sweet),so...I am so glad that my family helped me to stop and take a look at myself.
I say climb the ladder as going from the bottom an d slowly climbing back upwards to my normal self. It is different how each person sees their self from any darkness,be it pit,hole,etc....We all want to climb out. I am visual and I imagine in my mind a ladder and right now I guess I am on the second step from 20 steps.
I still can`t get that joy you talk about >I wish I could.
I would like cognitive behavior just to get over my fear.
Depression runs in my family so it is a ongoing struggle.
I really am so happy you are able to have peace of mind.I can understand how fibromyalgia might keep you from enjoying your best in life.
You know I have a son also but he doesn`t talk to me since my divorce 8 years ago.He is 22 almost 23 in november,but my daughter is with me > she is 20 she will be 21 in october.
I miss my son,and the ironic thing is that his dad will still say he will take me back but is glad his son doesn`t talk to me...It really hurts.
but I remarried and have been for 6 years.
When I read your comments about your children,I felt a sadness (happiness for you) but sadness for me. BUT maybe someday?I will have my son back........shirl
:|

[marbles]

Houdi,My 3 today are:


took a long walk

got some helpful books

still have cars (-:

Trying to take a day at a time

[marbles]

Hi,Houdi,
Today,I worked on job hunting....sort of reminds me of fishing....Thinking I may have got a nibble today.....

Thank you for your kind thoughts,Yes Time heals alot....

My 3 things today,

maybe got a job?>>>keep fingers crossed

laughed with my daughter

took another walk with doggie.

How is your fibromyalgia?
You know another funny thingHoudi? When I first wrote you I was not feeling well and shaky,not concentrating etc...and the first time I wrote you I almost wrote Houdini but happened to catch it,did give me a good laugh ..... ....shirl

[marbles]

Hey Houdi,
That was cute about the dog name...I also go by my doggie name>marbles. ha ha

Where does your fibromyalgia hurt the most? Sorry you have such bad time with pain. tooth aches can make me climb the wall..so to speak.

today.It was a sort of blah day for me.I had one brain zap......BUT

The celexa (seems) to be working.Yeah!!!
3 things today>there going to be small....
1-did not feel as nervous today.
2-cleaned on house which needed it
3-got a second interview for tomorrow
OH and I forgot I got a big one I haven`t told you about..be surprised...
4-new cyber friend>you and other friends on here!
talk with ya tomorrow can`t wait to see yours
I forgot tto ask you have you seen the movie THE BUCKET LIST? It is funny,inspiring and somewhat sad,Also I forgot to tell you I looked up Abraham Lincolyn`s favorite poem.It was by:Oliver Holmes.Tittled > THE LAST LEAF Would you read it sometimtime and tell me what you think?...shirl

[marbles]

hI, jUST TO FILL YOU IN ON TODAY.

I do not think I will get the job as the lady I spoke with said such things as "you are soft spoken" and others may run over you. Also, she said I was not only soft spoken but "soft".I just have a feeling that she will not choose me. People want nurses who are very direct etc...
Sometimes I do not know what I want ,I just know I need to work and do the best I can>To over come etc ....fear,depression....and still be a good nurse. I have only 2 years of nursing under my belt and most of it has been not in a hospital setting.It is very depressing and today for the first time in a few days I experenced some depression that nothing will change for me.I feel >
That others sence my inadequacy and all I need is a chance to stay with a job long enough to give me the extra confidence I need.I also pray that if given this chance God will help me with fear so I can push past the fear and become a good competent nurse.Do you think that my life will ever get betterHoudi? I try and have tried so hard in my life.It would be so easy to say "whats the use" but I just keep trudging on.I feel like crying so I will get off and I will talk to you later....shirl :cry:

[Attorney_Victim]

Shirl,
My mom and sister-in-law are both nurses. My mom has been a nurse for 40 yrs!! My sister-in-law just earned her RN about 2 yrs ago. They both work in hospital settings, but very different settings. My mom works at an inpatient physical rehab facility, and my sister-in-law works in a hospital. Both of their facilities are desperate for nurses. There are lots of nursing jobs out there...don't give up!! Use all of these interview experiences to work on your "weak points" and also use them to strengthen your strong points! Focus on yourself...the good things about yourself. What do you like best about nursing, what do you think you do best as a nurse. Then, figure out a way to market those strengths to an employer. You are a highly qualified nurse who is in demand...so, don't sell yourself short!! Good Luck!

[speedy]

I hope its ok to post here, I'm new to this but have found this forum to be helpful reading. I have a therapist and a wonderful family but my worst times are at night when they are all sleeping. It does help to read about problems and symptoms similar to mine and everyone seems very supportive, but I feel so compelled to share my experiences-maybe as my first step to admitting I am an addict-I have never done that before and truthfully, before reading this forum I really never thought of myself that way even tho I am addicted to many things.
I have taken antidepress. and anti anxiety prescriptions for 12+ years but they were prescribed by a DR., I occasionally drink heavily and self medicate with other things but does that make me an addict? I guess it does considering the fact I am having horrible withdrawal sx from cymbalta and I am increasing the use of "other things" to get through it. It was suggested by psych last week that I wean completely off cymbalta since after 4-5 months it was not doing much better than the effexor or paxil had been in previous years. My Medical DR. dx me with depression but antidep. never helped much and I was always weaned from drug to drug-never completely off, period, so its a little scary now because I have never gone through this whole process before. I had a sort of breakdown 2 weeks ago, then started seeing a therapist who recommended a psychiatry evaluation. I was diagnosed with chronic or complex PTSD a few days ago when I saw the psychiatrist for the first time and he didn't feel cymbalta would be the proper tx for that. My dose was 90 mg and I starting by cutting it to 60mg for 5 days(at the advise from my therapist who thought many of my sx were s/e from the drug), now I am down to day #2 on 40mg and am feeling the effects starting already. I have forgotten my meds for a day or two before and I recognize whats coming. I have visual disturbances esp when turning my head and feel very dizzy-my head feels foggy - but what are brain zaps? I have horrible dreams, nausea,headaches,muscle pain/fatigue and cant tolerate any sensory stimulation without going into a rage. I have been taking benedryl at night, phenergan when I am nauseated and have increased the amount of lorazapam I am taking to help with the withdrawal sx. I blame myself for trusting my MD to medicate me for a psychiatric problem I didn't want to face-I should have been in therapy and saw a psychiatrist when I first starting feeling depressed and anxious years ago instead of hoping a pill from the dr. would cure my symptoms without having to go into detail about it. I was always to busy working, raising a family ect. and I struggled on meds I shouldn't have been taking for 12 years because I was never diagnosed properly by a psychiatrist. Now I have to go through hell to get off of them and then start all over again and go through it again because at some point I will have to stop smoking and self medicating too. I will speak to my Dr. about the dangers of prescribing antidepressants to pt. without insisting on a psych referral and counseling to go along with it but what about all the other millions of DR. out there doing the same thing????
Are there any other sx for me to watch out for as I continue to decrease my dose? I have considered going into mental health hosp. because i am afraid this will get worse but I'm still on the fence about that one-anyone have an experience weaning while in the hospital? and is it better to go in or stay home and tough it out?-I read about someone having seizures after withdrawing from cymbalta and I am more concerned than ever about my kids seeing me like this. Any opinions or suggestions would be welcomed and appreciated very much. I know this was very lengthy and I apologize for that-I'll keep them shorter in the future :oops:
gratefully,
speedy

[marbles]

Hey,Houdi and Attorney_ victim,Thank you for your responces,I`m still trying........I have a sinus infection and my ear rings like crazy of which i got a little lump on my neck with the shebang of neck soreness.....so I don`t feel well.
I will keep you guys posted when something good comes my way in nursing.Thanks again for your support .You will never know how much it means to me, just to know there are people rooting for you....
and sorry Houdi,I haven`t much to be happy about lately but I will get back in the running as soon as I can.
shirl

[Attorney_Victim]

Marbles, Hang in there! A good day will come around soon.

Speedy,

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now. The Cymbalta withdrawal is bad enough alone, so go slow with your taper of Cymbalta. If you are now seeing a Psychiatrist, there is a chance that he/she is educated about "Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome" (the medical term for withdrawals). My Psych was informed, and prescribed Prozac (20mgs daily) to help me through the worst of my symptoms. I had taken the Prozac before for depression without side effects, so I figured it was worth a try.

I stopped "cold turkey" from 60mgs without informing my dr, then finally saw her on Day 4. Most of us here do not recommend cold turkey, but, the lowest available dose of Cymbalta is 20mgs. So, unless you are willing to open the capsules and count out the pellets to taper all the way down to 0, then you end up going cold turkey from 20mgs anyway. Most people here who have tapered to 20mgs and then stopped it, still had pretty bad withdrawal effects. So...I personally feel that if a person just "wants off Cymbalta" then it doesn't matter when you quit taking it. But, I highly recommend that when you do quit taking it completely, that you tell your psychiatrist and therapist.

For me, the "bait and switch" method was a very good decision. The Prozac really seemed to shorten the duration of the worst side effects. I was still bed ridden for about 4 days, but then on the 5th day, I was able to get up and go to work on time and felt much better. A few of the symptoms lingered for a couple of weeks, but I think the Prozac made them tolerable. Others on here have had similar success with switching to Lexapro or Celexa. I remained on the Prozac for about 5 wks then stopped it with my drs permission. I had no problems stopping the Prozac because the "half life" of Prozac is very very long, so your body tapers it naturally for you.

Your self medication issues need to be dealt with a.s.a.p. in order for you to get the help you need through these withdrawals. Please tell your Psychiatrist and your Therapist about these issues. Be completely honest with them like you have been with us. They are professionals who do not judge you...but, they need all this information about you in order to best help you. Cymbalta withdrawals can take people to very dark places, and if you are self medicating at the same time, the results could be dangerous or deadly. I do not mean to scare you, but that is the sad truth about Cymbalta withdrawal. You seem to really love your children and husband, and I wouldn't want them to lose you because of this crazy Cymbalta!! So, be careful!

My best friend is a Therapist, so I can honestly tell you that your Therapist would want to know everything you have told us here. Do not feel embarassed to tell him/her. Your admissions will not "shock" them, and they will not judge you!! The important thing is to be completely honest with the therapist and the Psychiatrist, or you are not going to get the help you need. You deserve to feel better, and you will feel better...as long as you are honest with the professionals who are trying to help you.

Please continue to read the posts here for info, and keep in touch with us on here!! We're here anytime you need us!!

[marbles]

Hi Houdi, I searched and wrote you on the other site.Did you get it?
My sinus infection is better; Thank You for asking.
Why are your nerves bothering you? Do you feel you are doing too much? Having alot of pain?
You just seem so jolly. You remind me of someone who would be British.We could have Brunch and talk
My husband is german and I haven`t been too happy with him lately,but I will tell you later.
My 3 things today:
1------My daughter and her friends went tonight to see their first REAL live concert of NINE INCH NAILS .....I assume your children know them.I am excited for them as I have never been to a live concert.
2-------sinus infection better
3-------still have you as a friend