201 replies to this topic

[tamatola]

Sounds like you're doing great. I feel fine today except I can tell I'm getting a cold, but all the kids that I keep as well as my own little boy have colds. So I knew one was coming! But as far as withdrawal, I am having none today. Hallelujah!! I am beginnning to think this isn't gonna be quite as hard as I was afraid. But, that was one of my things; being afraid of what "might hapen". I wish I had a dollar for every "what if" thought that has passed thru my mind! I'd be a rich woman.

I hope you are able to enjoy the weekend with your grandchild. Glad you're doing so well.

Tam

[perrypool]

Hi Tam... hope your cold decides to pack up and leave. Feeling like your coming down with a cold is also a withdrawal symptom so don't be surprised if you don't get sick. lets hope you stay well. I know what you mean about the what if statements. They can be our worst enemy.

I'm trying to enjoy my weekend with my grandson but having a wee bit of trouble. Getting ready to write about it in my daily post. Hope your weeekend is great and keep up the good work1

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 39: 14th day on 15mgs of Cymbalta. Well the withdrawals are either getting the best of me or I’m just a miserable old ass. To say I’m pissed off and disappointed at myself is putting it lightly. Let me explain. After anxiously waiting three weeks for my grandson to come visit for the weekend, he arrived yesterday. Overall everything went well yesterday other than the damn brain zaps that decided to attack when I took him out to play. I also got a little upset when I found out that he has developed a fear of the dark. I’m talking about a kid that at the age of two thought that it was fun to sit in my tiny half bath under the stairs in complete darkness and play with a flashlight turning it on and off. He is now also afraid to ride on our riding lawnmower… something he loved to do just 4 weeks ago. I’m beating myself up thinking that maybe he has inherited my panic and anxiety disorder. See that in writing makes me realize how foolish that sounds. I mean, come on, he’s just 3. It’s probably just a phase… anyway let’s get to today….

Today has been awful. I have had no patience with him at all! After my wife went to work it was just him and me. Everything that went wrong pissed me off and every time that I overreacted I felt worse. I feel so stupid writing this. I got mad when he pooped in his pull ups. That was stupid of me because I know he is still being potty trained. By the time I got him changed our cereal had become soggy… then he didn’t like it! You can image how mad that mad me. To top it off, as I cleaned the kitchen up, he pooped again! Every time I corrected him for doing something he shouldn’t, he cried for his mommy. Why was I so mad? I feel totally inadequate as a paw paw. Mature people don’t act this way. What the hell is wrong with me? Did I mention when we laid down for a nap, not only didn’t he sleep, but when I dozed off he fell out of the bed because he was rolling around like a maniac? Of course he went to crying, which led to wanting mommy, which led to me calling her for the third time today. She calmed him down and he said he wanted to go outside and play. As I was putting his shoes on, I smelled something all too familiar… yes… more poop… the worse one yet. Luckily after we went outside things improved and by 4:30 my wife got home. I’m not proud of the way I behaved today. I would like to think I’m just stressed out and having withdrawals. I’m sure that’s part of the reason… the rest is my fault. I wrote this long story because I feel it’s important. If I’m gunna come on here and celebrate my successes, then I think its only right that I write about my shortcomings. You wanna know the best part? Every time I got upset today and I was muttering stuff to myself… when I would look over to my grandson, he would be enjoying whatever he was doing because he has enough sense to let things go. He didn’t continue to rehash wanting his mommy or paw paw being mad or stinky poop in his pants. The kids got more smarts than me! Maybe I’ll pay more attention to him.. Maybe we all should view more things the way children do… Bet we wouldn’t need as many meds. I feel better now… hope you do too.

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 40: I still feel bad about the way I acted and reacted yesterday. We had a much better day together today. I decided when I woke up this morning that no matter what happened I would remain on my best behavior. So far I have stuck to my promise. I didn’t have as many brain zaps today and my mood is a little more upbeat. See ya tomorrow…

Perry

P.S. I am having some joint pain and stiffness, especially in my knees.

[perrypool]

Dear Divine... thank you very much for the encouraging words! I hope I can return to being the happy go lucky person I once was. I'm hanging in there for now.
Thanks again,
Perry

[perrypool]

Day 41: 16th day on only 15mgs of Cymbalta I didn’t sleep well last night… don’t know why. Been kinda depressed all day today but the good news is I haven’t had any brain zaps! I’m hoping this week I will go from 15mgs to 0 mgs. Take care everyone….

Perry

[nossri4me]

Don't be afraid, it will turn out ok. In fact, in the long run, it is very likely it will be much better.
N.

[perrypool]

Don't be afraid, it will turn out ok. In fact, in the long run, it is very likely it will be much better.
N.

Thanks Nossri4me...kind words are always welcomed here.

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 42: 17th day of 15mgs of Cymbalta. Hi everyone. Well having a pretty crappy day so far. The brain zaps appear to be gone but I’m depressed, tired and lethargic. This Cymbalta weaning is one hell of a rollercoaster ride! I thought by now I would feel different, you know, in a good way. Guess I’ll have to stick it out a little longer. Planning to cut down to 0mgs later this week if all goes well. Hanging in there for now…

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 43: Not feeling up to par today. Last night I was anxious and had some panicky feelings. Think it will be a day or two before I cut my dosage down to zero. I hope these feelings are just temporary… I really want to get better. That’s all for now.

Perry

[nossri4me]

Hey Perry,
Just checking in on you. I was amazed at the ass kicking this drug doles out as we withdraw.May be worthwhile to go off completely as he head into the weekend so work schedule or other obilgations are at a minimum. I pushed myself to do things that had to get done but laying around is the way to go.
So you wrote you had some mild panic or anxiety last nite. Have you thought about non-medication ways to deal with those feelings? My old doc told me the best thing I could go learn was Zen...but alas, I do not have the money to study it. But I do keep relaxation tapes around to distract me and try to do physical exercise.
I still feel Xanax is ok as needed, even if its once a day every day. Some docs get nervous about dependence but I'm not an addict or abuser- I'm an anxiety patient. I know the current "first line" treatment for anxiety and depression is SSRIs but I am no longer sure I agree with using those drugs forever.
Anyway- hang in there, you will feel better and experience a wonderful clarity when this stuff is finally gone.
N-

[perrypool]

Hey Perry,
Just checking in on you. I was amazed at the ass kicking this drug doles out as we withdraw.May be worthwhile to go off completely as he head into the weekend so work schedule or other obilgations are at a minimum. I pushed myself to do things that had to get done but laying around is the way to go.
So you wrote you had some mild panic or anxiety last nite. Have you thought about non-medication ways to deal with those feelings? My old doc told me the best thing I could go learn was Zen...but alas, I do not have the money to study it. But I do keep relaxation tapes around to distract me and try to do physical exercise.
I still feel Xanax is ok as needed, even if its once a day every day. Some docs get nervous about dependence but I'm not an addict or abuser- I'm an anxiety patient. I know the current "first line" treatment for anxiety and depression is SSRIs but I am no longer sure I agree with using those drugs forever.
Anyway- hang in there, you will feel better and experience a wonderful clarity when this stuff is finally gone.
N-

Hi nossri4me,

Thanks for writing. The past two days it seems that my anxiety has increased somewhat. I really don't know why. I take Xanax twice a day for my anxiety but it's a really low dosage. The other thing is that I haven't been leaving the house much lately and when I don't drive often enough my agoraphobia starts to increase. It's just that since I began tapering off Cymbalta the brain zaps and stuff haven't made me feel like driving. Hopefully this evening I will push myself to at least drive around the block. The other thing thats on my mind is that I thought by now the clarity I so desparately seek would have returned. It's day 18 for me on only 15mgs of Cymbalta so I thought by now I would be feeling much better mentally. I'm starting to get the "what If" thinking that maybe it will never return. Any thoughts you may have on this would be greatly appreciated. Again, thank you very much for writing.

Sincerely,

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 44: 19th day on 15 mgs Cymbalta only. Feeling somewhat discouraged today… thought I’d be feeling better by now. I’m still having mild brain zaps and feel tired and out of it. I just feel out of sorts. Kinda hard to explain… kinda like my head is fuzzy. My get up and go has got up and gone. I want to feel stable again. Thinking maybe I should just drop down to no Cymbalta at all tomorrow and get this over with. Sorry I sound so down. I don’t want to discourage anyone that might be contemplating getting off of Cymbalta. I’m just telling you how I feel. Anybody have any helpful hints, I’m all ears. I’m starting to think what if I don’t feel better after I stop completely. I know that’s stinking thinking. It’s just been a long journey and I’m tired. Hope tomorrow is better. Thanks for listening…

Perry

[nossri4me]

Hey Perry-
I dont think you'll have clarity till the drug is completely gone for a couple of weeks. 15mg is 15mg. Work towards none of this stuff in your system and reassess yourself at two weeks "clean".
See if your doc will do higher doses of Xanax..what's your dose? Mine is 1 mg daily, most to the time it works.
As for the agoraphobia- lemme think, I have to run but will be back later.
N

[perrypool]

Hey Perry-
I dont think you'll have clarity till the drug is completely gone for a couple of weeks. 15mg is 15mg. Work towards none of this stuff in your system and reassess yourself at two weeks "clean".
See if your doc will do higher doses of Xanax..what's your dose? Mine is 1 mg daily, most to the time it works.
As for the agoraphobia- lemme think, I have to run but will be back later.
N

Hi nossri4me,

Thanks for writing. I need to hear that 15mgs is 15mgs. In my clogged mind I guess I figured that 15 mgs was almost none, but what you said makes perfect sense. I also take 1mg of Xanax daily. If you get a chance read my post from today... well I still need to write it but Day 45 will have some exciting news! Again, thank you very much. Your reply really gave me my sense of hope back and thats just what I needed.

Sincerely,
Perry

[perrypool]

Day 45: 1st DAY WITHOUT ANY CYMBALTA!!!! Well I made up my mind and stepped from 15mgs to ZERO today! I figured if I was going to feel bad I might as well be feeling bad and cleansing my body of Cymbalta at the same time. I had been on 15 mgs for 19 days… thought it was time to move on. So far so good. It’s 7pm as I write this and my only symptom right now is brain zaps and some dizziness. I usually take my Cymbalta at 10 am so I’m nine hours clean…LOL Hey , you have to celebrate all victories, no matter how small. My wife and I actually celebrated with a high five when I made one hour clean! I still have my sense of humor! In fact, I’ve been in a goofy mood all day… almost a drunk feeling… don’t know why! I stayed busy doing things around the house today to keep my mind occupied. I hope the energy I burned will help me sleep better tonight. I know I have some rough days ahead of me. I know there will be times I’ll wish I hadn’t quit Cymbalta, but I must do this. I think the only way I have a chance of solving my anxiety and agoraphobia issues is to be able to think with a clear head. I know that’s a ways off right now but hopefully I will be patient in the meanwhile. I know when I need help or advice you will be there for me. ? I also upped my fish oil pills to 1000mgs 3 times a day stating today. I had been taking just one and from what I’m learning 3 should help with the symptoms. So this journey that I started 45 days ago is not over yet… which means I’ll be posting again tomorrow! Thanks to everyone for the kind words and encouragement you have been sending my way. I am truly blessed to be able to share my life with you!

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 46: 2nd day no Cymbalta. Well I made it thru the first day! I didn’t sleep well at all last night… had a lot of bad dreams and woke up several times. Today I am having big time brain zaps and a bad headache, but maybe things will improve as the day wears on. I still have a positive attitude and I’m still glad I decided to take the last step getting off. Gunna Take it one day at a time… that’s all I can do.

Perry

[nossri4me]

Perry!
Yay for you- you stopped. I bet by now you probably feel rather crappy. Sorry. Think of this as the last of the process but like a really bad case of the flu.
You mentioned your agoraphobia getting worse.
I suppose you dont have the energy to do much of anything but my best advice to you is you must do SOMETHING. If you don't you will find you have become one with your couch and four walls and your anxiety about leaving home is climbing.
So whats SOMETHING you can do? Not sure where you live but here's some ideas that dont demand much physical exercise yet let you practice tolerating anxiety outside the house: sitting through a quarter or more of a local high school football game. Lots of people to watch, lots going on and no real need to interact with anyone.Its usually free,too, one of my favorite things. Short walks in decent areas of your town. A mile takes 15-20 minutes. Its ok if its a park or a street.If you get tired, find someplace to sit and chill. The key is change of scenery. And being outside your home. I dont recommend the local mall or grocery store as those are annoying even on a good day. Learn simple deep breathing to self calm yourself too, I imagine along the way some therapist taught you this.( No breathing in paper bags either, you'l look like an idiot in public.And the cracking is annoying )
Just some thoughts. You can disagree, I'm ok with that too.
Remember: now you have stopped there is an official light at the end of the Cymbalta tunnel. The next days you will feel lousy but you will get through it. Rest, eat, ask the family to write you a pass cuz you don't feel good.
It will be okay. The world existed without Cymbalta for a looong time!
N

[perrypool]

Perry!
Yay for you- you stopped. I bet by now you probably feel rather crappy. Sorry. Think of this as the last of the process but like a really bad case of the flu.
You mentioned your agoraphobia getting worse.
I suppose you dont have the energy to do much of anything but my best advice to you is you must do SOMETHING. If you don't you will find you have become one with your couch and four walls and your anxiety about leaving home is climbing.
So whats SOMETHING you can do? Not sure where you live but here's some ideas that dont demand much physical exercise yet let you practice tolerating anxiety outside the house: sitting through a quarter or more of a local high school football game. Lots of people to watch, lots going on and no real need to interact with anyone.Its usually free,too, one of my favorite things. Short walks in decent areas of your town. A mile takes 15-20 minutes. Its ok if its a park or a street.If you get tired, find someplace to sit and chill. The key is change of scenery. And being outside your home. I dont recommend the local mall or grocery store as those are annoying even on a good day. Learn simple deep breathing to self calm yourself too, I imagine along the way some therapist taught you this.( No breathing in paper bags either, you'l look like an idiot in public.And the cracking is annoying )
Just some thoughts. You can disagree, I'm ok with that too.
Remember: now you have stopped there is an official light at the end of the Cymbalta tunnel. The next days you will feel lousy but you will get through it. Rest, eat, ask the family to write you a pass cuz you don't feel good.
It will be okay. The world existed without Cymbalta for a looong time!
N

Hey Nossri4me... you betcha I'm feeling crappy...lol flu like is a good way to describe it! It's even hard for me to sit here and try to write this but I had too. Your reply really made me feel better. just the thought of knowing I'm not alone helps alot. And your suggestions for helping my agoraphobia were spot on. The bag breathing thing gave me a much needed laff. i'm gunna try to rest as much as I can. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'll talk to ya soon.

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 47: 3rd day no Cymbalta. Had another rough night… couldn’t sleep and when I did had bad dreams. My head is buzzing like a chain saw today! But it’s ok… I’m gunna make it and it will be worth all of this. I have to get off the meds this time. I will be clear again! That is my goal! I am strong!... but pray for me anyway… this crap is hard! I appreciate it. I will check in tomorrow. It will be a better day then. If you are going through the same thing right now… hang in there… we will make it!

Perry

[nossri4me]

Day 47: 3rd day no Cymbalta. Had another rough night… couldn’t sleep and when I did had bad dreams. My head is buzzing like a chain saw today! But it’s ok… I’m gunna make it and it will be worth all of this. I have to get off the meds this time. I will be clear again! That is my goal! I am strong!... but pray for me anyway… this crap is hard! I appreciate it. I will check in tomorrow. It will be a better day then. If you are going through the same thing right now… hang in there… we will make it!

Perry

Ok, its day four for you. If your withdrawal is anything like mine was, day 4 is the HALFWAY point to feeling better (mine was bad for eight days, remember?)
So you mumble "yeah right, yay for me, this sucks".
It does suck, no doubt. Crawl back on the couch. Time is on your side.
Hang tough...
N-

[perrypool]

Day 47: 3rd day no Cymbalta. Had another rough night… couldn’t sleep and when I did had bad dreams. My head is buzzing like a chain saw today! But it’s ok… I’m gunna make it and it will be worth all of this. I have to get off the meds this time. I will be clear again! That is my goal! I am strong!... but pray for me anyway… this crap is hard! I appreciate it. I will check in tomorrow. It will be a better day then. If you are going through the same thing right now… hang in there… we will make it!

Perry

Ok, its day four for you. If your withdrawal is anything like mine was, day 4 is the HALFWAY point to feeling better (mine was bad for eight days, remember?)
So you mumble "yeah right, yay for me, this sucks".
It does suck, no doubt. Crawl back on the couch. Time is on your side.
Hang tough...
N-

Hey Nossri4me.... It's always good to hear from you. Taking your advice... spending most of my day on couch. I'm hanging.

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 48: 4th day off Cymbalta Another restless night last night. Dreams woke me numerous times, but I made it to day 4. Brain zaps have been on and off today. Think I’ll feel much better when I finally get a good, peaceful night’s sleep. I don’t know when that will be but I’m looking forward to it. Still taking my fish oil tablets 3 times a day and plan to continue. Does fish oil give you nausea? Been having a little nausea… not real bad… just can tell it’s there. Been a little gassy too… maybe more info than you want to know….LOL… just keeping it real. On a positive note, my libido seems to be making a come back! Hey I’m not making you read this…LOL Okay, before I disclose any thing else , I think I’ll close for today. Take it easy.

Sincerely,
Perry

[perrypool]

Thanks for the info Houdi... I'll look into it.

Perry

[perrypool]

Day 49: 5th day of no Cymbalta. Soon after I wrote my lighthearted daily post last night, my whole mood changed. I went from being in a good mood to being very sad and emotional. All of a sudden it was as if some one turned on a faucet. I couldn’t stop crying! To make matters worse the brain zaps were the most powerful ones I have had yet. The crying spell didn’t last too long, but boy it was intense. Guess the strain of not feeling well built up inside me and had to burst out. The brain zaps stayed with me the rest of the night but did diminish somewhat. I woke up with a headache this morning. Seems I’ve had a headache for about three days now. I did manage to sleep for about 7 hours last night without waking up… although my sleep was still filled with dreams. I didn’t really do too much today. By 2 pm my head was hurting and my brain was buzzing so I took a nap. Didn’t get up in the best of moods. Head still hurts and still feeling tired. I think there’s a battle going on inside my body right now. My body wants its drugs back but my mind’s determination is winning that battle; so to be spiteful my body is causing me to feel like crap! I’ll take the crappy feelings if it means a better life in the end. I just wish this crap would get over. It’s kinda like the feeling I got once I decided not to evacuate for Hurricane Katrina… there’s not much I can do now but ride out the storm. So here I am…riding. Hope your day is going well.

Perry

[nossri4me]

Ah Perry.....
Your mood is
then :shock:
then
then :evil:
All in about five minutes time?
Ah, Cymbalta withdrawal.

It is truely is tougher than Chuck Norris.
And remember....Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the whole Earth away from him.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Just being stupid here. Obviously.
But seriously...YOU will feel better soon.
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Can't wait till you join us us on the detoxed side. We saved you a seat.
N.

[perrypool]

Ah Perry.....
Your mood is
then :shock:
then
then :evil:
All in about five minutes time?
Ah, Cymbalta withdrawal.

It is truely is tougher than Chuck Norris.
And remember....Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the whole Earth away from him.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Just being stupid here. Obviously.
But seriously...YOU will feel better soon.
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Can't wait till you join us us on the detoxed side. We saved you a seat.
N.

Nossri4me... you hit the nail on the head with the emotions! You also gave me a chuckle when I needed it most! Keep that seat warm for me. Don't know when I'll be taking it but really glad to know its there. Thank you for making my morning.

Sincerely,
Perry

[perrypool]

Day 50 6th day off Cymbalta. Not having a good day at all. Don’t feel like doing anything. Can’t seem to concentrate. Feel tired. Having brain zaps. Just plain blah. Don’t know what else to say. I’m really out of it today. Hope tomorrow I’ll have better news.

Perry

[perrypool]

Perrypool:

I'm sorry for your bad day. I wish I could switch with you for a day. That would give you a glimpse into your future 100+ days off Cymbalta and the great days you are going to experience. Real days with real feelings, emotions, minimal physical issues and good life. I do remember day 6 off Cymbalta. I joined this forum about day 3 off Cymbalta. I thought I was going nuts and found I wasn't alone. You are in the worst of it, and you are about to come out the other side...promise! :|

I know you have been weaning, so I bet you feel you have been "in this barrel" for ever. Honestly, hang in there, it's really good when you get a little further out. Remember, Benadryl seems to help the brain related withdrawal symptoms, at least for me. Tylenol for general aches. Previcid for nausea helped me tons, and still does. Omega 3's and Super duper B vitamins. Eat something, even crackers every hour or two. Walk a little and get some sunshine to help the mood and move those joints. Don't get overwhelmed. Limit visual and emotional stimuli. One thing at a time. Lay down and cover your eyes for 5 minutes every once in a while. You don't have to sleep, just focus on breathing. Because you have been so diligent to wean, your days will quickly get better!

Perrypool, you are a warrior and you will win the war. You have battled everyday to beat the poison called Cymbalta. I wish you one of those really good days we all get when withdrawing. And I hope they are frequent for you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Dear Houdi,
I"m much better at talking than at writing but I will do my best. I can not express enough in words how much your compassion and encouragement means to me. The thought of you taking the time and energy to sit and write such a beautiful note really touches me. Its people like you and others which have written that give me the hope I need at such a difficult time. My panic disorder and agoraphobia has not been helpful with making and retaining friendships so for someone like you to not only listen to me, but to also share your thoughts and feelings is something that I thought I might never have in my life. Your wish that I have one of those really good days is coming true. Not only am I feeling better, but I also plan to get outside and enjoy the sunshine and cooler temps we are having here today. I sincerely thank you and hope you have very good day too! I'm gunna take your advice and rest for a little while now. The brain zaps kicked in about 20 mins ago. I'll be back to write my daily post later. I'll let you know how the sunshine felt.

Thanks Again,
Perry

[perrypool]

Day 51: 7th day no Cymbalta. Yesterday may have been my worst day yet. I had all the bad withdrawal symptoms and I was totally out of it. But today… today I woke up feeling much, much better! The clouds parted and there was the sun! That’s exactly what it felt like! I know it’s far from over. I know I might have some bad times ahead. I know I still face many challenges. But today I woke up feeling better and that’s good enough for me! I went outside today and enjoyed some sunshine! I weeded the garden, trimmed some trees and did some other yard work. I tried my best not to over do it but I probably did…LOL Tonight my brain is a zappin and I’m feeling kinda tired but I’m happy. I’m gunna make it! I hope everyone has a great evening and as always… I’ll be back tomorrow.

Perry

P.S. Houdi... the sun felt great!