32 replies to this topic

[mimimia]

I'm doing the bead counting method because the traditional advice from my doctor put me in a tailspin very fast. I've been on the crap for 5 years at least. So there was no way that method was going to work.

So I get to the 15 mg point and can't am having the horrible jitters, anxiety, feel like I'm losing control and going to come unglued. And I decided to stop reducing the dosage for a while. I spent a week at 15 mg and I STILL felt horrible. Yesterday I literally thought my husband was going to have to stay home from work to keep me safe. And I grab the phone and call the doctor. I explained everything to the nurse who sounded so sympathetic. She said "I'll talk to him and call you back". She calls back and says "he wants to know WHY you want off of it" You're kidding......right? No, he said he thinks if it's that horrible you should just go back to taking the 30 mg for about a month and then try it again the way HE told you to. ?????????????????? WHAT????????????

 

I am stifling back sobs at this point and she hears me and says "ok, if this isn't going to work for you then you need to come in to talk to him."  So I go in tomorrow afternoon.

 

I am printing out everything I think is pertinent for him to see tonight. I've printed the 18 pgs of gathered evidence on the FDA link. But I don't think that is a professional document. I think that was submitted by an individual or something. Anyhow, what else should I take??

 

What else do I need to remember to say to him??

This is NOT the original prescribing doctor. This is just my GP who took over dealing with the rx after I stopped going to pain management.

 

Any help you can provide is greatly appreciated.

[lady2882Nancy]

Did you go from 30mg straight to 15mg? If so then that is why it is so bad.

Now that you have been at that for a week the good news is that you are going to start feeling better soon.

 

If you really can't stand it just go up a bit. Add about 33 or so beads back to the capsules which would put you at about 20mg. That will probably help. Then you will need to taper a little slower once you get settled down again.

 

As to what you should take to the doctor - Did you get the FDA report that BRoss left a link to in Just Saw This On Fda Website About Cymbalta

That should help. There are so many websites that have stuff about Crapalta not being what they said it is, but I think that FDA report is probably something a doctor would consider carried some weight. The link works from the posting.

 

Good luck and try to be calm when you go in or take someone for emotionally support.

Don't forget that we all will be thinking of you tomorrow and our support is there with you.
 

[mimimia]

No, I didn't go from 30 mg. to 15 mg. First I tried doing it the "conventional" way that doctors tell you to. Every other day for a week blah blah.... But after I stopped taking them altogether I fell apart on day 6 or 7. So I decided I'd go back on them but not back to the full dose. I figured I'd take 2/3 of the 30 mg capsule. I took that dose for a few days to let my body get some relief from it and then began my count-down of subtracting an additional 5 beads a day.

 

So I went from 135 beads for a few days then 130 one day and 125 the next. Until I got to 100 and I realized I wasn't dealing well again. So I spent a week at 100 beads. And even after a week at 100 beads / or 15 mg. I was still feeling so anxious, out of sorts, internal shaking etc. That's when I called the doctor.

 

So I go in today with my husband and we agreed there was no way he was going to get me to go back on it. Well after talking for a while he determines that the best cause of action is to stop counting the beads and to stop taking it altogether today. His line of reasoning was "you can prolong the agony or you can rip it off like a band-aid and deal with it all at once". He was understanding and I know I can't do this without something for the horrible anxiety so he prescribed Klonopin. 

 

My husband is such a great guy. He said he would help me in this no matter what it took. And we just want to get on the other side of this and move on in life. I've had a horrible decade and am ready to change the direction of my life. 

 

I know there are some of you that will disagree with this plan. And that's ok. What works for one isn't always going to work for everyone. And if this fails then I will come up with a plan C or D , EFG but I WILL SUCCEED!

[lady2882Nancy]

mimimia

There is no right way or wrong way to get off this crap. We all are different and we all do it our own way,

We are still all here for you and your husband too (what a great guy you have) whenever you need to talk or have questions or just need to vent.

The one thing we all agree on is that we want to get off this crappy drug and get our lives back. We need to know that we are not alone and that someone understands what we are going through and that is why this site is still going strong.

Come back often and let us know how you are doing. I know that I want to be able to cheer you on.

Remember that we share because we care.

Take care of you

Nancy

[mimimia]

Day 3 without Cymbalta and so far so good. I am very tired from the Klonopin and noticed this afternoon I feel nauseated. But that's it so far. I say "so far" because I know it hit me like a ton of bricks on days 5 & 6.

 

And I'm headed right now I give myself my shot of Humira. I take that every other week and of course I couldn't come off this on the "other" week. The Humira makes me tired, nauseated, weak and overall like I've got the flu. It also makes me sleep a lot the first few days. So maybe sleeping through the 1st few days will be a good thing.

 

Keep praying for me!

Thank to all of you for your support. Just knowing you all are here for me makes a huge difference!

[lady2882Nancy]

Will definitely be praying for you mimimia.

 

Sleeping for the next few days will probably be a good thing for you as they are the tough ones.

 

Will be waiting to hear how you are doing and yes you are not alone.

 

Take care of you

Nancy

[mimimia]

Yesterday I took my ultra mega Omega 3 krill oil capsules, drank green tea combined with lemon balm tea sweetened with honey. Ate clean good foods; fresh pears, fresh apples, broccoli etc. Drank water till I sloshed when I walked. And slept.....relaxed......slept......

 

There were a few times I began to feel edgy and I drank the lemon balm tea. I have L-theanine/suneanine for back-up. But I need to monitor my blood pressure if I use that. Because L-theanine can lower blood pressure and since I already take some BP medicine I wouldn't want it to get too low.

 

Ready for the 4th day without Crapalta in my body! Yay MEEE!

 

Thanks for the support Nancy! You're wonderful!!!

[lady2882Nancy]

I'll second that with a "YEAH MIMIMIA"

 

You go girl

[LindaVandy]

I would say to my doctor, "Stupid Question!"

[lady2882Nancy]

LMAO  for sure Linda

How is it going for you?

[mimimia]

This is the end of day 6 without Crapalta in my system.  Can I get a "WOOT WOOT" ??

 

The klonapin is keeping me very relaxed, mellow, sleepy and thank God I have a wonderful husband to take care of me. And unlike so many of you I don't have the worry of a job to go to. I lost my ability to work back in 2009. Funny thing looking back at it. Is that was about a year after the fibro dx and probably within 6-9 months of beginning crapalta. Part of why I lost my job was I couldn't think straight, couldn't remember a think for more than a minute. And constantily felt like my head was spinning. I worked for a wonderful bunch of people who recommended me for severance package of 3 months from a part time job. Well I knew I couldn't find another job where they would be willing to work around my schedules so I filed. After 2 denials I received the disability. I wonder if I would have kept that job or not qualified for dis. if I weren't using crapalta! Something to think about.

 

So today hasn't been as hard as day 6 was with the other method. And I'm happy to be at this point. Now I can see how it does from her.

 

I'm tired and ready to go back to bed. Where I've spent most of the day.

I'll check in again soon!

Ready to be called an EX crapalta addict!

[lady2882Nancy]

WOO HOO mimimia

I don't do the other lol

Glad things are going well and you are getting through this. Sleep is the way to do it. That gives your brain the chance to heal and rebalance itself without all the overload on the senses. I wish I could have done that, but it would have been such a challenge to find something to actually get me to sleep.

Keep us posted.

Take care of you

Nancy

[mimimia]

This is jb, mimimia's husband. She is sleeping this evening and asked if I would post an update. Lady2882Nancy, she especially asked me to give a shout out to you. 

 

I am so glad she has you and the rest. Try as I might, it's impossible for me to really know what it's like to be her. I can listen. I can offer perspective when she asks for it. I can hold her tight or leave her alone, whichever she wants at the moment. I can serve her needs without being asked, encourage her, and reassure her of what a beautiful child of God she is (and she really is!) and help her know the blessing she is in my life.

 

But I can't truly, fully empathize with her. She needs you all for that, and I'm glad she has you.

 

Today is Day 10. In two days she will have doubled her withdrawal record of 6 days! It has been very, very rough for her today. It didn't help that I had to be gone from before she awoke in the morning until noon. That is hard on both of us. I don't like her having to get up - off-balanced, in pain, and depressed - without being there to love her through her morning routine.

 

But the Crapalta Withdrawal symptoms are very heightened today. From what I can see, the pain effects are certainly a problem, but the anxiety and depression I believe are the hardest. She feels relatively decent for an hour or so mid-morning after the Klonopin kicks in. But soon she feels sleepy and wants to go back to bed. She does that sometimes until early afternoon and wakes up anxious and depressed, so she'll supplement the klonopin with Xanax. [The doctor gave her low doses of each of these to help her get through the first month of complete withdrawal. He did say she can take both if needed.]

 

In the early evening I'll fix us some dinner and we'll eat together and watch our favorite show. But not long afterward, she'll be worn down again and want to lay down for a while.

 

I have told her I believe this sleep is good for her. She hates it because she feels like  she has no life. But I believe it's temporary, and it will help her more quickly get back to where she feels like she does "have a life." If it were "depression sleep" to escape life, I'd worry. But I can see that it is not - she doesn't want to be sleeping and she's fighting it off. So I think it's just part of healing, and sleepiness is because her body and brain are exhausted from all that Eli Lilly is putting them through.

 

You see, mimimia is one very special lady. She is multi-talented, intelligent, fun, funny, adventurous, personable, articulate, sociable, creative, and has one of the most tender hearts you'll even meet. She cannot sense those things about herself any longer, she can't live these things out, or at least she doesn't see how she can [she still does, more than she realizes]. And I long to see her get back on track, where she can clearly see herself for the amazing lady God made her to be.

 

Today, as I said, has been incredibly hard for her. I've watched her moods change probably 15 times, and sometimes quite abruptly. But to compound the crap Eli Lilly has caused, one of life's personal challenges - the sort of family problem that would seem insurmountable to anybody on any day - came along. It's intense and interpersonal, and it came  at a very bad time.

 

How do you all deal with these things when you're already experiencing anxiety, depression, and pain?

 

So that intensified everything. She said a number of times "I can't take it anymore!" and begged me to call the doctor. I did - it was 4:45pm on a Friday, so I was hoping I could catch them still there. Fortunately, a very compassionate nurse listened as I explained what my beloved was experiencing. She tracked down the doctor, talked to him, and then called me back. He said that she can actually take 3 Xanax per day as well as the 2 Klonopin per day if she feels she needs to. Just don't touch the Crapalta again no matter what!

 

She did take another Xanax and is sleeping (it's only mid evening). But she's understandable worried - she doesn't want to become addicted to three replacement medicines (Wellbutrin, Klonopin, and Xanax) in order to break her addiction to one medicine (Cymbalta). The doctor assures her that it's just for the first 30 days and after that the latter two will stop (probably not the Wellbutrin yet).

 

What is your wisdom or experience here? We'd love to know.

 

By the way, tomorrow (Saturday the 20th), is mimimia's birthday. I'm just sayin' ;-)

 

And again, thanks for being here for her!

 

jb

[lady2882Nancy]

jb

Let me first say how much I admire you for being such a wonderful supportive husband to mimimia at this time when she needs your care.

 

You are very right when you say that sleep is the best thing for her right now. Yes she is missing out on some of life right now, but it will be so worth it in just another week to 10 days.

The first 2 weeks are the hardest and it isn't until around day 18 that she will suddenly realize that her mind is clearing and that she almost feels like herself again. At first it will only last for part of the day and that can be discouraging but soon even though she will feel tired she will be able to think more clearly. You will see the differences in her long before she does.

 

The pills are necessary right now, but don't over medicate her as that really could delay some of the healing. In fact in a few more days she should start to find that she doesn't feel as bad anyway.

She is due to hit the irritable moody stage but hopefully her meds will ease her through that. I still can have moments of intense angry and extreme sadness. Any increase in anxiety may occur just around day 16 so increasing the meds as needed may be necessary especially if she suffered anxiety prior to taking Crapalta.

If you can get her to move around for a bit when she is up that will help with the pain. I found that even walking up and down my hallway a few times a day helped. I also had muscle cramps and found that a gentle massage and a hot bath helped.

 

Unfortunately, I still am dealing with anxiety and PTSD symptoms that have returned to haunt me, but this is day 23 off for me and I have been able to concentrate on things much easier for the last 4 days and am not so easily distracted. My pain levels are finally coming down so I have actually able to do some housework the last few days which is a big improvement for me.

 

Tell mimimia that I said to get as much sleep as she needs to because it will help her to avoid some of the worst side effects that no one needs to go through if they don't have to. Also that although she is missing things now, it will be so worth it when she is back to herself which will be soon.

 

Thank you jb for letting me and all of us here know how she is doing. I have a very big soft heart myself and with all the sharing we do here I find that I really care about all the people that I have shared with on the site. I hate it that sweet mimimia is suffering and I wish I could reach her to just give her a big gentle hug and tell her that it will be alright. You will have to do that for me.

 

If you have any other questions or concerns let me know

 

Take care of you because I care

Nancy

[fishinghat]

The klonopin and xanax are both habit-forming and just like cymbalta the withdrawal varies a lot from person to person. The xanax is the easiest to kick so I would do the Klonopin first so you have the xanax to help. I know several people who have stopped wellbutrin with no difficulties. The key here is the 30 days. As long as you are on them 30 days or less it should be a lot easier.

 

Thanks for the compliments for our assistance but it doesn't compare to that of a good spouse that is supportive, I couldn't imagine going through this alone and my wife has that magic gift of knowing when to be close and when I need room. But to do this alone...that would be hell. It is not easy to deal with the mood swings so I tip my hat to you sir for your support of your wife.

God Bless.

[lady2882Nancy]

Just a thought for someone

Next time a doctor asks Why do you want to stop taking cymbalta?

You can answer

Because I want to find out what it is like to lose my mind and go temporarily insane.

[Sissy54]

I didn't consult with my doctor first, because I figured she would have me keep taking it. I have stopped because I am sick and tired of the crazy dreams I have. That's it. The only reason. Not nightmares but absolutely BIZARRE dreams.

In years past I stopped Celexa and Lexapro with only a fuzzy feeling in my head. I was down to one capsule a day when I stopped. The dizziness and sick feeling have been unbelievable....for a whole frigging week! It's almost 5 oclock on a Sunday and I haven't gotten dressed yet because I feel so rotten.

[lady2882Nancy]

Welcome Sissy

I understand how you feel. No one warned any of us just how horrible the side effects from stopping this crude could be so bad. The good news is that as bad as it is right now it will not be any worse. The bad news is that it can be another week before it really starts to ease up. It seems that due to this drugs very short 1/2 life (only 12 hours) it makes it horrible to come off of.

Get something for the nausea and dizziness and you may want to see about something for the itch that should start any time now.

If you are near a Health Supplement Store I would suggest getting some L-theanine (just make sure it is suntheanine). It really helps with the mood swings that we get and helps with the headaches that regular pain pills will not touch.

If you don't already take vitamins, get a good one with the full B-complex and take mega doses of omega3.

This helps lots and if you find anything else that helps please let us know.

We are here for you as we have all been where you are now and some members are exactly where you are right now.

We share because we care

Take care of you

Nancy

[tomitsu]

hello minima and jb,

I too was withdrawing from Cymbalta and took Xanax to help with withdrawal however I did have to also eventually wean off Xanax. I started WD from Cymbalta February 2012 from 60mg to 30 for 30 days - then cold turkey. For nearly a month I was in pure agony. I had every symptom imaginable. I was then advised to go on Xanax to help with the anxiety and i was on it from about April 2012 to March 2013. I started to taper off Xanax in January 2012 using water titration method. I followed "the road back" method. they were very helpful to me. they emailed me the whole manual on how to wean off meds. I also follow Bliss Johns Recovery Road Facebook page and her book is at my bedside. I also have a few books by Dr. Peter Breggin and I had to put the book down as I grew very angry at FDA and doctors for allowing this drug to be prescribed..and so many others.
The one thing to remember is for those of us who are off Cymbalta now - that we are healing. everyday our brains are and bodies are healing. I look back and wonder how I made it - all those weeks when my loving husband who is my angel and my hero - he was away running our out of state business. without him it was a huge challenge. I do not have the luxury of not working as I am the owner but I could not work for at least 11 months. a lot had to change. we had to retreat from our plans to expand our business. things were in a holding pattern. today we are feeling the effects of what this drugs impact had on me and my husband. I weep from time to time when I think of all the pain I went through and all the suicidal thoughts, the mental anguish and physical pain. the fact that I was on the edge - wanting to leave this world. my brain wanted out but my heart knew I had too much to live for; I have my husband and best friend - and if it wasn't for him I'm afraid I'd be dead. I finally started to see hope in February 2013 after a few weeks into my other withdrawal - Xanax withdrawal. it wasn't as bad as Cymbalta but I wanted to be medication free. in february i was able to leave my house and drive myself to work!!! i have been working since then and today I am free of drugs. I am not 100% yet. I do experience a bit of anxiety from time to time. i take supplements. My brain is still healing. this is my story and everyone is different. everyone's withdrawal is different. mine was bad, in my opinion because I only weaned off for 30 days - then nothing! I would advise a slow and steady withdrawal for those trying to withdraw. I nearly died. my husband, this forum and along with bliss johns' daily advice have given me wings!! stay strong and know that you and I are still healing.

[lady2882Nancy]

So good to hear from you tomitsu

I am so glad to hear that you are now able to work again. It gives me hope.

Even though I am 29 days off, I know that I have a long ways to go. The anxiety is the worst and keeps me home most of the time.

I have read many of your postings since I asked about the books. It helps to know that others have had the same issues and they are healing. I'm afraid the medical profession still questions that the problems we have are caused by this terrible drug which has made it difficult to get proper medical help.

It is so important that those of us who are still struggling to hear that the ones who were here a year, two years and even longer ago are healing and doing well. For some the battle is so much harder and hope is what we hang on to.

Take care of you

[tomitsu]

hi nancy!
you will get through this. I will get through this. you should see Bliss Johns you tube videos on healing. it really inspires me and it will inspire you. I still cry when I read about others desperation and their anguish. I know what they are going through. I want to help others like me and like us. I have joined the class action lawsuit and I hope that I can set up an organization that helps people like us. I had absolutely nowhere to turn to. apart from my own research and these forums. doctors are in denial. I was bed ridden for months. it got so bad that when I was finally able to work - my back ended up getting sprained and I had to be transported via ambulance to ER because I could not walk. guess what happened? the doc put me on Flexerall and Cyclobenzaprine for the intense muscle spasms. I took it for 14 days. I started to feel depressed and down. i researched these drugs and turns out the cyclobenzaprine causes depression! I stopped taking it immediately. anyway I'm trying to get my core strength back up. the withdrawal has affected every aspect of my life. in fact I am learning all about all classes of drugs. please I encourage you all to read Dr. Breggins books and his website. he's uncovered a lot of the dirt on Eli Lilly. I wish I could hold all of your hands and tell you that it does get better. I could not believe it myself but I had to learn to accept that all those dark thoughts were the "withdrawal" and not the real me. I want to live!! I am healing!!! you are healing!

[mimimia]

I am on day 24 I think. And it's been he!! this week. Mostly because of some out of control personal issues. But I am trying to get all my vitamins, eat right, force fluids and sleep. I have near constant nausea and intermittent diarrhea.

And as I started going through all this extra stress this week I realized I need to get away. I need a retreat. I'm in the process of looking for a place that is spiritually based and either very low cost or free (hey, it must be the crapalta making me think life still has places like that). 

In a perfect world I'd go to a place that is maybe focused on mediation, clean living, offer group therapy but also encourage time spent alone to walk, read or just pray.

My dream has always been to go to Ireland. And in the last few years as my health got worse I kept thinking "if not now, I may not be able to hike, bike or even WALK the way I wanted to while there". So I'm actually looking to see if there is anywhere there first. But somewhere in the states would be wonderful too. 

But then again, I know I'm dreaming. IF a place existed where the clinically depressed from crapalta withdrawal could go we'd ALL be there!

Wow! Wouldn't that be nice!!! For us to all be together to help each other out. Talk when we needed it. And to just be with others who "get" what we are going through! Ahhhh, wake up ..... you're dreaming again!

 

Anyhow not to discourage any newbies but I think this process (at least for me) is going to be long one. Months if not a year or more.  I pray Our Lord won't allow that. He can heal all wounds and I hope He intervenes and heals this one faster for all of us.

Blessings,

Mimimia

[Kittencat]

I have been doing well, except all of a sudden, I can't sleep! Insomnia. Ugh. Why now so far after I've been off it?

[lady2882Nancy]

It could be that your reenergized system isn't producing enough Melatonin. You could try a supplement to see if that helps.

[lady2882Nancy]

mimimia - so good to see you posting.

I love your dream of a place we could all go to withdraw and recover from Crapalta.

Can you imagine the ranting we could do and they could have special rooms for preventing sensory overload.

It would need to be somewhere warm but not too hot.

The time it takes to get over the side effects does not seem to be dependant on how long one is on the med or even on how it affected the person when they were on it.

Some heal quickly and the side effects aren't too bad and others struggle. Maybe it has something to do with how active you are able to be. I don't know and that would require a follow up study by a medical group. If anyone hears of one wanting input let me know.

 

Take care all

[knucklehead]

Yes, sent the fda report to the doctor.  No response from doc, his assistant suggested I up my dosage and stay away from sites like this.  Luckily I think for myself.

[lady2882Nancy]

Crazy isn't it. Like people that are going through the same thing as you aren't good for you.

I actually had my doctor tell me at one point that if I had just stayed on the Cymbalta that I would have been find now. Maybe his definition of fine is that I wouldn't have been a problem for him to have to deal with.

 

That was the turning point for me as far as trusting him as a doctor. This is the only thing that is truely bad about living in a remote area. I will have to travel to get a different doctor.

 

Take care of you

[chimera]

well done to you Mimimia, and your husband, for battling this so hard this week, together

[tomitsu]

I can say that I am about 90% free of a lot of the withdrawal symptoms. I do have tinnitus and I get the odd brain zap here and there. Sometimes I feel as though something crawls up my arms. I am back to running my business 100% and my brain fog is nearly non existent. I can almost multi task again. I have odd day when I feel scared and afraid to face the world - but for the most part I feel great. I want you all to know that you too will feel the healing actually happening - each day will be improved. BELIEVE ME I too was where you all are - wanting to die, anxiety, agoraphobia, nausea, diarrhea, brain zaps, brain fog, crying and screaming bouts. I wanted to DIE! I would curl up in a ball in my bed all day without getting up for 14 hours. My husband would come home at night and find me exactly where he had left me in the the morning. It was bad - I did not know who I had become. I was scared and felt so numb. I never knew that feeling numb would hurt so much. There is a physical pain I had and I cannot describe it - but I WILL NEVER FORGET IT. It was like something inside was dying a slow death. I had gone to see a few therapists and NOT ONE accepted that i WAS EXPERIENCING WITHDRAWALS! One doctor in Beverly Hills in fact recommended ECT [Electroconvulsive Therapy] I broke down and cried - and he did not give a crap. I emailed him on Friday and told him I was not depressed and that I hope he learns to listen to his patients and perhaps accept that he doesn't know everything and that he should do some research before recommending ECT on a healthy individual. 

Today I ran my business on my own, I interact with clients, I am on fire!! I am running again and I am smiling and I AM NOT AFRAID, I DO NOT WANT TO DIE. I AM 100% MEDICATION FREE! NO MEDS FOR ME! I used basic nutrition to help me - no fancy diets.

You will also heal - it took me 12 months to finally start to feel normal and I am now 14 months from the last day I took that poison. I still have a bottle of Cymbalta in my nightstand drawer - it is sealed/unopened and serves as a reminder of my journey. A journey I vow never ever to forget.

[lady2882Nancy]

Hi tomitsu

 

Glad you are finally feeling better and back to running your business.

 

It sure was a long hard battle for you.

 

Thanks for all your help.

 

Take care