77 replies to this topic

[Lundeliz]

Thank you thismoment. I really appreciate the kind words. I will take the anxiety meds if it gets too awful. I thought I was strong enough to make it. But Cymbalta is getting the best of me.

[Clara]

lundeliz, wrapping my arms around you!!! You CAN do this!!! Listen to you body and do what's best for you! Wish I could take it away for you! Hugs and prayers for sweet solace and peace!!!   clara

[Lundeliz]

Thank you, Clara! I keep telling myself not to give up now. What if tomorrow is the day I would

start feeling better? I really appreciate the encouragement. I've got to do this!

[thismoment]

. . . What if tomorrow is the day I would start feeling better? 

 

Dear Lundeliz, that is hope! And hope is the main building block in the foundation of your recovery and your flourishing!

[Wagtail]

Lunderliz, I feel you pain & feel for you so much. What you describe is terrifying & I've been there & have felt the fear. THE FEAR OF THE FEAR , it's what I'm scared of the most.
If only we could push through the computer screen & hold you & comfort you & tell you to look the fear right in it's ugly eye & tell it that you are not threatened by it .. Tell it that it's just a bad feeling & it can't really hurt you , it can't kill you !!! tell it that YOU'RE THE MAN / WOMAN & you are stronger than it is ... It's a black dog & it's bark is worse than it's bite....

Yes, I know that in the dark of the night that you feel all alone & physically you might be , but try to remember that we are all feeling the same or similar feelings as you & somewhere nearby , or across the other side of the world , someone else is thinking of you & chearing you on ...You can do this , you can look FEAR in the eye & tell it that it's days are limited ... Take the anti anxiety medication & deep breath your way through , minute by minute until you beat it's shitty little arse ( sorry for the swearing ) ..
It's 9pm here in Australia & I am sending you all the strength I can muster .. & am holding your hand ..:-)

[Carleeta]

Lunditz. .we are here supporting your every dreadful moment. Vent every feeling, no matter how intense, it is here on the forum. Loving people are here to listen, and give all there experiences, opinions, suggestions, prayers and guidance. We love you..

[Lundeliz]

Oh you guys, thank you so much for all the kind words. They really do help so much. I appreciate

it more than I can say. I am hanging in there and will keep hanging in there. Thank you!!

[Wagtail]

Lundeliz , how are you today my friend ?...:-)

[Lundeliz]

Thanks for asking, Wagtail. I'm a little better. Enough better that I can

endure it. Thank you to all you wonderful people for getting me through a

very rough spot!

[Lundeliz]

Dear friends, I'm so very miserable. Anxiety got bad and I started not being able to sleep a

few nights ago. The first night I took some Xanax and still didn't sleep. Is it possible

for Xanax to have an opposite effect on you? The next day I felt like I was going to

explode. The agitation was horrible. Same thing last two nights. I slept for a few minutes

at a time, and I can't even describe the feeling I had when waking up. I have only taken

a small dose of Xanax three times over the last month. I definitely won't take any tonight.

It seems to make things worse. Is that possible? How do I get out of this mess? I'm so

miserable. I'm just lying in bed today, but can't relax. Feel like I will really lose it

any minute. I'm not sure what I will do about sleeping tonight. Dear God, please let this stop.

[bkasml]

Hang in there and yes, in my experience, that is possible.  Almost any medication that warns "will make you drowsy" has me climbing the walls.  If it says "won't make you drowsy" I can guarantee I will be out cold for 12 hours!

[fishinghat]

bkasmlis right. Many of the benzos (Xanax is just one of them) can cause bad anxiety in some people. Which is strange considering it is so effective in so many people without creating side effects. When I first started taking meds for my anxiety they tried all the way up to 8 mg a day of xanax (which should knock out a horse, lol) and it didn't even make me sleepy. On the other hand lorazepam and clonazapam worked great. Anyway, you both hang in there.

[Lundeliz]

OK, thank you both. Good to know. I won't be trying Xanax again. The severe agitation

has settled down now. If I can't sleep tonight, I will try a tiny dose of Benadryl.

Thanks again!

[Lundeliz]

Feeling pretty discouraged.  This, my 11th week off, I have felt more disabled than ever.  I will

 

say that the agitation has settled down quite a bit.  This week the headaches have been severe.

 

My head feels like I can barely hold it up and the nausea has been bad.  It seems like everyone

 

else by this time has turned the corner, feeling better, but I feel even worse.  I am so very weak.

 

I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I'm having a really hard time keeping my spirits up.  Will this 

 

last 2 or 3 years for me?  How do people accept that this might be a very long term thing?  I'm

 

sorry, I know I will find a way to get through this.  It's just so darn hard.

[Lad]

I am very sorry to hear you are still suffering Lundeliz. I have not posted lately but I have been following your journey here.

 

Things are not perfect for me either but I think I was more fortunate than you and your situation. All I can do is offer you my encouragement and hope you will get there. Don't worry about being "a downer" here. It is what makes it real for everyone and individual struggles bring this community together.

 

Keep your chin up as best you can. You may not win every daily battle but keep your eye on winning the war!

 

Lad

[Lundeliz]

Thank you Lad.  I have been wondering how you are doing.  Sounds like you are doing ok. I have

 

an appt with a new doctor to check out some other things like my thyroid.  I quit my thyroid med

 

after I discovered it was making me very agitated all of a sudden.  So maybe I'll get some answers 

 

there.  I'm trying to hang in there.  Can't wait to get my life back.  Thank you for the encouraging words.

[fishinghat]

Lundeliz, You have a good ideaa there as the old thyroid can complicate things while going through withdrawal. It might also expplain why you have been so slow to improve. I hope all is well and you get better soon. Keep us posted.

[Lundeliz]

Yes, Fishinghat, I imagine my thyroid is playing a part in it since I quit my meds.  I just can't

 

make myself take them as I get horrible episodes of great agitation.  The doctor I'm seeing

 

is also familiar with lyme disease, so I sure hope she can help me figure this all out.  My

 

appt isn't until March 6, but I will let you all know what I find out.  Thanks for the support.