Jump to content



Photo

Time Out


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 Wagtail

Wagtail

    Like a Family Member

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 511 posts
  • LocationSydney
  • why_joining:
    Need support

Posted 14 January 2014 - 01:53 AM

Hello everyone , for the past two days I have been trying to convince myself that I am stronger than the CRAPALTA.
Today I got a slap in the face & not sure if it's part of the journey or my brain playing tricks on me.

19 weeks tomorrow I have been zero Cymbalta. Most of you already know my story & were probably cheering me on as I seemed to be on the way up & nearing the end of my trip.

Yesterday I felt the depression starting to hit & today has been very bad .. I'm praying that it is part of the w/d & I'm not starting to suffer DEPRESSION again .

I saw my doctor this afternoon & he wants to put me on a very low dose of a newer / different antidepressant until I feel better & then wean from that .. I admit I'm not familiar with the difference in Ssri 's .
I don't know what to do but I'm very scared in making a decision .. If this is just another hurdle than maybe I will feel better without taking anything.
He also doesn't want me to take Zanax to get to sleep because it's so addictive too. He has given me ENDEP 10 ( AMITRIPTYLINE HYDROCHLORIDE )..

Also I am still gaining weight , even though I'm watching everything I eat & drink !.. Very sad :-(
Yesterday I felt so strong & now I'm so confused again ..:-(

#2 Wagtail

Wagtail

    Like a Family Member

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 511 posts
  • LocationSydney
  • why_joining:
    Need support

Posted 14 January 2014 - 02:30 AM

Ok , a little confused apparently .. Just read the paperwork for the ENDEPT .. It is a antidepressant not a sleeping tablet as I previously thought , but taken @ night it helps with sleep .
It's only a very low dose of 10 mgs & is only to be taken for a couple of weeks whilst I'm feeling the return of the depression symptoms .. I just don't trust my decision making while I'm in this state as well as feeling like I'm failing .. Just took 2 1/2 mg Zanax to stop the panic .
I think I read somewhere that this was a possible s/e & not a recurrence or relapse ..
Good God I hope I'm making sense .
Thismoment I hope you have some advice for me !..:-)

#3 thismoment

thismoment

    God-like

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,514 posts

Posted 14 January 2014 - 09:17 AM

Wagtail

As we have discussed in the past, withdrawal symptoms like depression are often mistaken for the broader condition of depression, and a new antidepressant is prescribed. This may be happening in your case.

 

The Endep is a TCA, a Tricylic antidepressant similar to SSRIs. It's main difference is that it is more broad-acting and produces drowsiness as well. So the physician may be aiming at controlling both the depression and the insomnia with this one drug.

 

Of course keep the anxiety down first! But before taking the TCA Endep consider some of this-

 

Can you manage the depression for some time to determine if it's a side-effect of withdrawal? At 5 months out it certainly could be a withdrawal side-effect. 

 

In the latter days of withdrawal, the overt, coarse symptoms are gone, but we are left with a post-battle lingering melancholy that feels like threshold depression. We've come through this acute struggle without having the opportunity to really take stock. But now after 4 or 5 months we are looking more closely in the mirror, at the state of the house, the condition of our relationships, the time gone by (and the perceived opportunities lost), and finally- the forgotten body. I've put on 20 pounds, and that is depressing!

 

But to really test to see if this is the return of depression or just another withdrawal symptom, you will have to be pro-active and address those things that were neglected when you were trying to hang on through those horrible early days of withdrawal. It has to go back to the mirror, the state of the house, the relationships, the time gone by (I can fix that one- you were on the battlefield in a noble cause), and the last thing is the weight gained- I know how important that is to you, and I know that hurts your heart. And I know you know how to address that.

 

Work to straighten these things out and see what that does to your mood. You've just come out of a horrendous battle, and mostly you've won, but this follow-up work is important- it will keep that wolf at bay.

 

With your doctor in the loop, perhaps you could consider Zopiclone (a hypnotic) rather than the TCA antidepressant as a temporary sleep-aid. Insomnia is also a side-effect of Cymbalta withdrawal, and it can go on for months- or even become chronic. As you become more pro-active in getting things in order, you will become more tired as well. Walk a lot if you can. Get tired.  Look after your deep self; buy something nice to wear. Pick up some bubble bath.

 

See if you can knock the depression down via your pro-action, and avoid the new antidepressant. 


#4 Carleeta

Carleeta

    God-like

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,801 posts
  • LocationNew York
  • why_joining:
    Read so many painful stories on here and offering others support while trying to heal myself from cymbalta and other antidepressents.

Posted 14 January 2014 - 02:22 PM

Thismoment, I totally agree and appreciate your words to Wagtail. At this point in the withdrawal phase its without a doubt difficult and fearful for Wagtail.  Asking to manage the depression for a while to become proactive in things undone from the past, appears to be a great approach.  Totally agree with going out and purchasing somethings for herself and even bubblebath.  Your approaches are so very well appreciated here from everyone and I just wanted to commend you on all the effort you put forward to help so many.  Thank you. 


#5 Carleeta

Carleeta

    God-like

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,801 posts
  • LocationNew York
  • why_joining:
    Read so many painful stories on here and offering others support while trying to heal myself from cymbalta and other antidepressents.

Posted 14 January 2014 - 02:40 PM

Wagtail, I agree with Thismoment in trying to manage this feeling  you are experiencing.  If I may add, this time of year with the holidays over and the inbetween time before spring arises, could be dreary, which almost everyone experiences.  This lapse in time before spring comes most people tend to be exhausted, overwhelmed, empty,  and stuck inside their homes with less daylight time.  It is very possible this could be the case for you at this time.  With that being said, hopefully you can agree with managing your feelings a bit and become proactive.  I myself look out the window and dread seeing sunlight for just a few hours and then its nighttime at 4:30 pm.  It feels as though Im just waking up at 11am, totally out of the bed by noon and decide to take a bath and go check my bills, with effort get one or two things done, then before I know it its 3pm and in another hours or so it will begin to get dark.  I turn around and throw the pjs on to get warm from the cold outside, and ready to settle in for the night.  To me this is a horrible feeling as compared to the spring/summer days where I would get in my car and go somewhere or sit on the porch and smile looking at the plants Ive planted and have a nice cool drink.  Ive already started planning in my head a trip I might make in 3 week down south where it is warm. Which I am looking forward.  In my case the more I have something to look forward to the better I am.  This may not be your case, although looking forward to buying something new or pampering yourself in some way, could be a way to manage your feeling for a bit in order to see if this just might be a withdrawl symptom.  I wish you all the luck I could give.  Please keep us posted..


#6 Wagtail

Wagtail

    Like a Family Member

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 511 posts
  • LocationSydney
  • why_joining:
    Need support

Posted 14 January 2014 - 04:13 PM

Hi Thismoment & carleeta .. Thank you both very much for replying I was feeling desperate.

Like you said thismoment , I had read & was aware that this might happen & thought I was prepared for it .

I was coping with feeling depressed & the negative thoughts that accompany it BUT my nightmare is panic attacks , & as soon as I felt that creeping in as well , I lost all my courage & desperately needed some support .
You didn't let me down & with all my heart I thank you for that , you have no idea how you help .
I am going to take your strength & run with it my good friend ..

Being in such a state yesterday while talking to the doctor , I didn't fully hear what he was saying to me re the ENDEPT .

I thought he was just giving me a sleeping pill to replace the Zanax .
I read the enclosed leaflet & realized that it was another type of antidepressant & I was too upset to take it all in & understand what was happening.
Thankfully I have woken up today & don't feel the panic & can think more clearly & with the advice from both of you I will remain drug free for another day ( 2 months 1 week today ) .

Thismoment , your knowledge on the different antidepressants is so appreciated on here .
Because as I learned yesterday , when someone is in the eye of the cyclone & not able to even think clearly , Googling things is almost impossible & overwhelming .
Give yourself a huge hug from myself & others that you have reached out to & dragged out of their fog & given strength to continue.

Xx

#7 Wagtail

Wagtail

    Like a Family Member

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 511 posts
  • LocationSydney
  • why_joining:
    Need support

Posted 14 January 2014 - 04:29 PM

Just thought I should add , that there are days where it is impossible to do anything that needs energy. There are days where a I can barely walk around the house because I am so fatigued .
Also one of the lingering s/e for me is balance or lack of which makes going for a walk very difficult . The area I live in is also very hilly so taking a walk is more like mountain climbing .

During my withdrawals, I have managed to PUSH myself to the absolute limit just to keep my home clean & tidy & I never go a day without doing my makeup even if it's just lipstick & mascara.
I guess this is my way of staying on my feet for as long as possible & my way of fighting back.

My husband & family laugh & always say that even on my death bed I will be wearing my lippy .


,

#8 Carleeta

Carleeta

    God-like

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,801 posts
  • LocationNew York
  • why_joining:
    Read so many painful stories on here and offering others support while trying to heal myself from cymbalta and other antidepressents.

Posted 14 January 2014 - 06:38 PM

Wagtail, I hear your pain and I feel your pain. Just the fact you get up and put lipstick on and mascara is a sign you care about you. Yes, getting your house tidied up is supposed to be done, (per the ocd people) although in all actuality, if you didn't do it, guess what? it will be there tomorrow. You seem exhausted to me. Let me, if I may, tell you something. I live with panic attacks and it reached a point where I became an agoraphobic. My cure for agoraphobia was one statement from one wonderful Psychologist who told me for everything I worried about just answer it with "so what". I did that and was able to go out into the world again and not panic and worry. Its just recently after 25 years or so the panic attacks came back. I am attributing them to the loss of both my parents in a matter of 11 months and other family matters within those 12 months which exhausted me physically and emotionally. I found a wonderful book that I read to help with panic attacks and its an amazing 21 second countdown and it works wonders. Easy book to read.too easy.. Its called "Panic Away". Its just a suggestion in case you would like to read it for the panic attacks. I thinks is so cute that your hubby and family say you will be wearing your lippy.. Also maybe the PUSHING yourself to the limit is causing too much stress for you on top of other things. Try and ease it up a bit and see if you have a bit more energy. Always remember its "ok" to not push. Staying on your feet is great, getting off them from time to time is great too. Fatigued is exactly what it states Fatigued. Sounds to me like too much fatigue without a break is too much for anyone. Im sure Thismoment will agree that maybe you are just doing too much.. Pushing oneself to get things done is good, although I feel you might be overpushing yourself, and that's just my opinion. As for your dizziness and walking and feelings of being unbalanced, would you try standing with a back against the wall and walking in place? This way maybe getting some physical exercise in and keeping you steady. Also, being female, what helps me with lightheadedness is a banana for potassium and orange juice for the vitamin C. Im not one for all the health store supplements or things like that, although just the regular food sources found in a grocery store. Any little thing that is good for us anyway certainly won't hurt to try.
Having said all that, I and others are right here for you for whatever you post or whatever your daily concerns are. I still see your inner strength while you are courageously feeling your physical strength. I wish the best for you. I will keep looking for your posts and utter my words, just in case they are beneficial to you. hugs to you

#9 Wagtail

Wagtail

    Like a Family Member

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 511 posts
  • LocationSydney
  • why_joining:
    Need support

Posted 14 January 2014 - 10:26 PM

Oh Carleeta, you are wonderful & very insightful too. You're so right & Ive been told before that I expect too much from myself , I'm my own worst enemy.
I guess you could call me a perfectionist almost bordering on OCD . I guess it's part of the reason I needed antidepressants in the first place.
I judge myself harshly & I , wear ME out constantly .
I don't seem to be able to stop it. I've had a lot of good / great advice over the years but putting it into action is something I have not been able to do.
Both my parents were perfectionists so I guess to me it's just a natural way to live , albeit soul destroying & just plain exhausting .

I can't believe how much better I feel today !!!!!! Just yesterday I was on the verge of giving up & was SO scared of my feelings that I needed to reach out to you guys for support .
Which you gave with all your hearts , you & the wonderful THISMOMENT , I am so grateful to you both & took the great advice & ran with it.
Today I have energy & the fog has lifted , my balance is a lot better also & I actually feel happy . Maybe yesterday was MY ROCK BOTTOM & I am going to have more good days now!.
Who knows , but I am so grateful for THIS DAY . I will be back later to let you know how I'm feeling .
HUGE HUGS ..xx

#10 Carleeta

Carleeta

    God-like

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,801 posts
  • LocationNew York
  • why_joining:
    Read so many painful stories on here and offering others support while trying to heal myself from cymbalta and other antidepressents.

Posted 14 January 2014 - 11:42 PM

Wagtail..don't feel guilty or blame yourself for being a perfectionist on the edge of ocd. I too am a perfectionist, have some odd with certain things, and I'm very territorial. .How those three..ha ha ha. I can live with a few days off with one exception..making sure all doors are locked at night..You know what they say about Rock Bottom; Once you hit it the only way is up! Try not to judge yourself to hard. You are great just the way you are. Funny story I'll share with you..My mother was a perfectionist and a stay home mom. When any of her children and grandchildren knew she was coming over we all changed the towels in the bathroom to very neat and clean ones..ha ha ha...we called them the grandma and gramps towels...Once they left we put our towels back up..I also made sure I dusted the house before she came because she did check for dust..How we laugh about this today. My cleaning days were Saturday and Sundays because of my work schedule..it's OK to be a perfectionist, a bit ocd, and a bit territorial. It's also ok to let a day or two slide. Still put on that lipstick everyday though..I love that one..Great night.

#11 Wagtail

Wagtail

    Like a Family Member

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 511 posts
  • LocationSydney
  • why_joining:
    Need support

Posted 15 January 2014 - 04:33 AM

Carleeta, I just went to the Amazon site to buy the ' Panic Away ' book & they wanted $ 499 for the book & cd's . Is that what you paid for it ?. Very expensive for a self help book I thought !... I would love to learn how to control my panic , I'm very scared of the " fight or flight " feelings .. Have had a really good day today but slightly anxious tonight .. Praying that tomorrow is another GOOD day ..:-)

#12 Carleeta

Carleeta

    God-like

  • Active Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,801 posts
  • LocationNew York
  • why_joining:
    Read so many painful stories on here and offering others support while trying to heal myself from cymbalta and other antidepressents.

Posted 15 January 2014 - 10:56 AM

Wagtail, No I paid way less than that..A bit less than half. It is costly although for me it was well worth the money. Go to www.panicaway.com and read the overview and watch the video to see if it's something you might be interested in. This way you will know if it's something you are interested in. It may or may not be for you. I hope this information is helpful to you. Please let me know..God luck to you.



0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users