Time Out
#1
Posted 14 January 2014 - 01:53 AM
Today I got a slap in the face & not sure if it's part of the journey or my brain playing tricks on me.
19 weeks tomorrow I have been zero Cymbalta. Most of you already know my story & were probably cheering me on as I seemed to be on the way up & nearing the end of my trip.
Yesterday I felt the depression starting to hit & today has been very bad .. I'm praying that it is part of the w/d & I'm not starting to suffer DEPRESSION again .
I saw my doctor this afternoon & he wants to put me on a very low dose of a newer / different antidepressant until I feel better & then wean from that .. I admit I'm not familiar with the difference in Ssri 's .
I don't know what to do but I'm very scared in making a decision .. If this is just another hurdle than maybe I will feel better without taking anything.
He also doesn't want me to take Zanax to get to sleep because it's so addictive too. He has given me ENDEP 10 ( AMITRIPTYLINE HYDROCHLORIDE )..
Also I am still gaining weight , even though I'm watching everything I eat & drink !.. Very sad :-(
Yesterday I felt so strong & now I'm so confused again ..:-(
#2
Posted 14 January 2014 - 02:30 AM
It's only a very low dose of 10 mgs & is only to be taken for a couple of weeks whilst I'm feeling the return of the depression symptoms .. I just don't trust my decision making while I'm in this state as well as feeling like I'm failing .. Just took 2 1/2 mg Zanax to stop the panic .
I think I read somewhere that this was a possible s/e & not a recurrence or relapse ..
Good God I hope I'm making sense .
Thismoment I hope you have some advice for me !..:-)
#3
Posted 14 January 2014 - 09:17 AM
Wagtail
As we have discussed in the past, withdrawal symptoms like depression are often mistaken for the broader condition of depression, and a new antidepressant is prescribed. This may be happening in your case.
The Endep is a TCA, a Tricylic antidepressant similar to SSRIs. It's main difference is that it is more broad-acting and produces drowsiness as well. So the physician may be aiming at controlling both the depression and the insomnia with this one drug.
Of course keep the anxiety down first! But before taking the TCA Endep consider some of this-
Can you manage the depression for some time to determine if it's a side-effect of withdrawal? At 5 months out it certainly could be a withdrawal side-effect.
In the latter days of withdrawal, the overt, coarse symptoms are gone, but we are left with a post-battle lingering melancholy that feels like threshold depression. We've come through this acute struggle without having the opportunity to really take stock. But now after 4 or 5 months we are looking more closely in the mirror, at the state of the house, the condition of our relationships, the time gone by (and the perceived opportunities lost), and finally- the forgotten body. I've put on 20 pounds, and that is depressing!
But to really test to see if this is the return of depression or just another withdrawal symptom, you will have to be pro-active and address those things that were neglected when you were trying to hang on through those horrible early days of withdrawal. It has to go back to the mirror, the state of the house, the relationships, the time gone by (I can fix that one- you were on the battlefield in a noble cause), and the last thing is the weight gained- I know how important that is to you, and I know that hurts your heart. And I know you know how to address that.
Work to straighten these things out and see what that does to your mood. You've just come out of a horrendous battle, and mostly you've won, but this follow-up work is important- it will keep that wolf at bay.
With your doctor in the loop, perhaps you could consider Zopiclone (a hypnotic) rather than the TCA antidepressant as a temporary sleep-aid. Insomnia is also a side-effect of Cymbalta withdrawal, and it can go on for months- or even become chronic. As you become more pro-active in getting things in order, you will become more tired as well. Walk a lot if you can. Get tired. Look after your deep self; buy something nice to wear. Pick up some bubble bath.
See if you can knock the depression down via your pro-action, and avoid the new antidepressant.
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#4
Posted 14 January 2014 - 02:22 PM
Thismoment, I totally agree and appreciate your words to Wagtail. At this point in the withdrawal phase its without a doubt difficult and fearful for Wagtail. Asking to manage the depression for a while to become proactive in things undone from the past, appears to be a great approach. Totally agree with going out and purchasing somethings for herself and even bubblebath. Your approaches are so very well appreciated here from everyone and I just wanted to commend you on all the effort you put forward to help so many. Thank you.
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#5
Posted 14 January 2014 - 02:40 PM
Wagtail, I agree with Thismoment in trying to manage this feeling you are experiencing. If I may add, this time of year with the holidays over and the inbetween time before spring arises, could be dreary, which almost everyone experiences. This lapse in time before spring comes most people tend to be exhausted, overwhelmed, empty, and stuck inside their homes with less daylight time. It is very possible this could be the case for you at this time. With that being said, hopefully you can agree with managing your feelings a bit and become proactive. I myself look out the window and dread seeing sunlight for just a few hours and then its nighttime at 4:30 pm. It feels as though Im just waking up at 11am, totally out of the bed by noon and decide to take a bath and go check my bills, with effort get one or two things done, then before I know it its 3pm and in another hours or so it will begin to get dark. I turn around and throw the pjs on to get warm from the cold outside, and ready to settle in for the night. To me this is a horrible feeling as compared to the spring/summer days where I would get in my car and go somewhere or sit on the porch and smile looking at the plants Ive planted and have a nice cool drink. Ive already started planning in my head a trip I might make in 3 week down south where it is warm. Which I am looking forward. In my case the more I have something to look forward to the better I am. This may not be your case, although looking forward to buying something new or pampering yourself in some way, could be a way to manage your feeling for a bit in order to see if this just might be a withdrawl symptom. I wish you all the luck I could give. Please keep us posted..
#6
Posted 14 January 2014 - 04:13 PM
Like you said thismoment , I had read & was aware that this might happen & thought I was prepared for it .
I was coping with feeling depressed & the negative thoughts that accompany it BUT my nightmare is panic attacks , & as soon as I felt that creeping in as well , I lost all my courage & desperately needed some support .
You didn't let me down & with all my heart I thank you for that , you have no idea how you help .
I am going to take your strength & run with it my good friend ..
Being in such a state yesterday while talking to the doctor , I didn't fully hear what he was saying to me re the ENDEPT .
I thought he was just giving me a sleeping pill to replace the Zanax .
I read the enclosed leaflet & realized that it was another type of antidepressant & I was too upset to take it all in & understand what was happening.
Thankfully I have woken up today & don't feel the panic & can think more clearly & with the advice from both of you I will remain drug free for another day ( 2 months 1 week today ) .
Thismoment , your knowledge on the different antidepressants is so appreciated on here .
Because as I learned yesterday , when someone is in the eye of the cyclone & not able to even think clearly , Googling things is almost impossible & overwhelming .
Give yourself a huge hug from myself & others that you have reached out to & dragged out of their fog & given strength to continue.
Xx
#7
Posted 14 January 2014 - 04:29 PM
Also one of the lingering s/e for me is balance or lack of which makes going for a walk very difficult . The area I live in is also very hilly so taking a walk is more like mountain climbing .
During my withdrawals, I have managed to PUSH myself to the absolute limit just to keep my home clean & tidy & I never go a day without doing my makeup even if it's just lipstick & mascara.
I guess this is my way of staying on my feet for as long as possible & my way of fighting back.
My husband & family laugh & always say that even on my death bed I will be wearing my lippy .
,
#8
Posted 14 January 2014 - 06:38 PM
Having said all that, I and others are right here for you for whatever you post or whatever your daily concerns are. I still see your inner strength while you are courageously feeling your physical strength. I wish the best for you. I will keep looking for your posts and utter my words, just in case they are beneficial to you. hugs to you
#9
Posted 14 January 2014 - 10:26 PM
I guess you could call me a perfectionist almost bordering on OCD . I guess it's part of the reason I needed antidepressants in the first place.
I judge myself harshly & I , wear ME out constantly .
I don't seem to be able to stop it. I've had a lot of good / great advice over the years but putting it into action is something I have not been able to do.
Both my parents were perfectionists so I guess to me it's just a natural way to live , albeit soul destroying & just plain exhausting .
I can't believe how much better I feel today !!!!!! Just yesterday I was on the verge of giving up & was SO scared of my feelings that I needed to reach out to you guys for support .
Which you gave with all your hearts , you & the wonderful THISMOMENT , I am so grateful to you both & took the great advice & ran with it.
Today I have energy & the fog has lifted , my balance is a lot better also & I actually feel happy . Maybe yesterday was MY ROCK BOTTOM & I am going to have more good days now!.
Who knows , but I am so grateful for THIS DAY . I will be back later to let you know how I'm feeling .
HUGE HUGS ..xx
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#10
Posted 14 January 2014 - 11:42 PM
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#11
Posted 15 January 2014 - 04:33 AM
#12
Posted 15 January 2014 - 10:56 AM
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