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[mytwohands]

I have been "lurking" this site since I started this several weeks ago.
The words of so many of you have helped me through this. I am a recovering drug addict, and have experienced some difficult withdrawals in the process, but none were as physically or emotionally trying as this. I think anyone who can get through weaning off Cymbalta is very brave in my book.

I just wanted to leave a little post about my experience so others can known what they're getting themselves into and how long it will last. I scanned these pages, desperately seeking information on "HOW LONG WILL THIS LAST?"

+ I began weaning off of 60 mg at the beginning of June. I am 21 years old & have been on Cymbalta for 5 years.

+ I did 1 week 40 mg, two week 20 mg, and then went off completely 10 days ago.

+ 60 mg to 40 mg was difficult. I experienced diarrhea, nausea, "brain shivers", dizziness -- the typical symptoms, only to a lesser extent than if I hadn't taken it period. I definitely experience an element of suicidality at some point, knowing full well that it was symptom and not a conclusion of my natural brain function.

+ 40 mg to 20 mg was less stressful, but still unpleasant. I stayed on 20 mg about a two and a half weeks, mostly because I thought I should become adjusted to 20 before I let the fallout occur.

+ Ceasing the medicine all together was a nightmare, as I'm sure we all known. Constant diarrhea, severe nausea, hot sweats, chills, "flu-like" symptoms, brain shivers, electric-y feelings throughout body, lethargy, severe head aches. The second day was definitely the hardest. Every unpleasant smell made me think I would vomit. I thought if everyday was like, I wouldn't be able to make it.

But things have gotten progressively better. Since making it through the first week, I am starting to feel more like myself. Many symptoms still remain (particularly the diarrhea and nausea, as well as the all the electric-y stuff, which I have become shockingly accustomed to).

Things that got my through the roughest part:

* sleep (when all else fails, just sleep through it)
* lots of water & physical exercise (mostly walking as I was experiencing vertigo)
* distractions! art projects, cleaning, even social functions. I thought I would a zombie this whole time, but forcing myself to think about other things rather than reflect on how effing horrible I felt was the best thing I could for myself.
* support. I told people what I was going through, tried to explain. My boyfriend has been amazing to me.
* positive attitude. This does not come naturally to me (as I'm sure many of us can understand, being on antidepressants). But I found that more I catastrophized the situation, the more miserable I felt physically. If I found a more comedic approach, laughed at the circumstances, praised myself as each day passes, tried to keep my chin-up, etc ... well then things were livable.
* positive notes ... as lame as this sounds, this was really helpful. I wrote notes like, "YOU'LL BE OKAY. HANG IN THERE" or "YOUR EMOTIONS ARE PRODUCT OF WITHDRAWAL" or "YOU'LL FEEL BETTER SOON" ... my mental disposition has been questionable. I get into spouts where I think it's always going to be this way, that I am going to die from these symptoms -- highly dramatic. The stickies were like little cheerleaders, as I sat at work for 9 hours, slowly watching the minutes pass.

Now, towards the end of day 10, the most difficult factors are mental. I am a highly easy going person, to the point of even being obnoxiously passive. But since beginning the taper, I've become much more confrontational and short tempered, snapping at people, even yelling at people. I've been overly sensitive with my friends and loved ones. I feel so judgmental in my head, thoughts moving through me, filling me until I'm hot with anger at all human existence. I can barely move I hate everyone around me so much, at times. I imagine them all combusting, spontaneously.

Aside from bouts of anger, I'm starting to act like my old self. I have chunks of good, where I feel giggly, find happiness in certain things. The first week, I enjoyed almost nothing.

I look forward to the following weeks. I didn't think I could do this. I am very proud of myself and have a profound respect for everyone who is going through, has gone through or is even considering going through this. I look forward to not having my life controlled by Cymbalta, worrying if I am only a few hours late, I will become very ill again. I look forward to getting to know who I am without antidepressants (I have been on them since 14).

Good luck to us all. We can do this.

**** EDIT ****

I've seen people on this board saying they have gotten on other antidepressants to get off this one. I just wanted to let you know that I got on Cymbalta five years ago because they were trying to wean me off Effexor (very similar withdrawal effects) and I couldn't handle it. PLEASE BE CAREFUL what you use to get yourself off, because you could just develop another addiction. It seems to me that this counter-intuitive to trying to live medicine free, if that is your goal. Many other medicine have very severe withdrawal effects too (Effexor being one of them), so do your homework!

[Houdi]

Dear Mytwohands:

Thank you for posting your story. It is a success story all around. Your words are important for so many of us! Hope you keep posting and continue to support all of us.

All my best wishes....Houdi