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I'm Not Coping


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#1 Lundeliz

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    I c/t'd from 60mg in 2009. Went back on and started tapering. Spent the next 4 years trying to get off. It was very difficult. Finally stopped at 17 beads on Dec.4, 2013.

Posted 04 April 2014 - 12:03 PM

Hi guys, I'm just really not coping with this withdrawal. I'm four months

off Cymbalta today. The anxiety and agitation have gotten unbearable. I'm

also feeling like I will throw up most of the time. I'm trying so hard to

stick it out. I want out of this mess. My husband is starting to feel I

should go back on a med just to get some relief. I'm so scared. If I knew

I could go on a med and be ok, I would do it. I've become so hypersensitive

to everything I'm afraid I will make things worse. I don't know what my

point is here, I guess I'm just rambling. I'm pretty sure Cymbalta won't

work for me again. Should I just strap myself in and ride this out somehow?

I don't know what to do.

#2 BelaLugosisDad

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 12:09 PM

Hang in there! I am a total mess so am afraid I cannot be of much help but the regulars should be along soon to encourage you :)

#3 thismoment

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 12:18 PM

Lundeliz

Please see the doc and get the anxiety addressed. Anxiety is always the first thing to control. That will reduce the agitation and knock down the queasiness that goes with that. Maybe a benzo or something similar.

#4 Carleeta

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 12:31 PM

Lundeliz. .I'm so sorry you are feeling this bad...I would have to suggest you get to see your physician...Are you taking any meds what so ever? I wonder if stopping all meds around the same time may have caused some imbalances in your system...Please please address the anxiety and aggitation you are experiencing with your dr...I somewhere thought you were on something for anxiety, although I can't find the post....Please keep us informed. .thoughts and prayers are with you. .

#5 Lundeliz

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    I c/t'd from 60mg in 2009. Went back on and started tapering. Spent the next 4 years trying to get off. It was very difficult. Finally stopped at 17 beads on Dec.4, 2013.

Posted 04 April 2014 - 12:37 PM

Thank you for the replies. I do have benzos. I have Xanax and klonopin. I have

taken them occasionally. I'm really afraid if I take them daily, I will reach

tolerance quickly, because I'm very hypersensitive to all meds right now. I'm

sorry, I don't mean to be difficult. I don't know my answer, maybe there isn't

one. I am considering trying a new ssri. I'm not sure I can tolerate those

either. I guess I have to try something though. Things are getting worse, not

better. I really appreciate the support from y'all. I have made a dr. apt for

this afternoon. I know he is tired of seeing me. Third time this week. I'll

let you know what is decided. Thanks

#6 equuswoman

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 01:00 PM

In my thoughts and prayers during this most difficult time... :hug:


#7 gail

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 02:36 PM

Lindeliz, I could have written that post myself today. 7 weeks today. I know about anxiety and wanting to crawl out of my skin, nausea and throwing up at times.

 

Some days are worst, and this is one of them, crying my heart out. Ativan helps me get through this, helps with the nausea also. Had 2 good days in a week, and that is good news for me. When I say good, I mean light and comfortable enough to keep me going in hope.

Let's say that today is a shitty one, if I can use that word.

 

I hope that your doctor's visit will bring some comfort in some way.


#8 Wagtail

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 04:09 PM

Lunderliz , I am @ 5 months & felt like you @ 4 months too.
Take your Ativan or similar to settle you down ... It's amazing what a difference a day can make ...you are getting closer to feeling better .Wow just think ....you are already 4 months off Cymbalta .. This drug is pure evil & will fight you every inch of the way , it will do it's best to make you take it again.
Maybe you will need to take something to get you through the worst of it , don't beat yourself up if you do.
Whatever it takes to make you comfortable.
Good luck my friend , you can do this ...you are strong....get mad & kick this crap in the arse ....xx

#9 Lundeliz

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 05:25 PM

Thank you guys all so much. You really do help! I went to the doctor. The good

news is that all the blood work he had done was fine. There's no need to go back

on thyroid meds right now. Everything else was good. We talked about me going

back on a low dose ssri of some sort. He was not comfortable prescribing one for

me, so he is making me an appt. with a psych. I'm ok with that, just wish I didn't

have to wait. Oh, and I'm switching from my beta blocker to a new one, as I thought

at one point it was causing my nausea. We will see how that goes. I'm ready to try

a ssri to see if I can get some relief. I don't know which one I would like to try.

I guess I'll let the psych figure that out. Seeing all the responses and encouraging

words really helped me feel better and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

#10 fishinghat

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 07:33 PM

Lundeliz, 4 to 5 months is my cutoff point in telling people it may be time for getting back on another med. With you being easily tolerant of benzos it makes me lean toward getting help. I will pass this along to all of you. I am tapering off of my lorazepam and started to run into my old buddy fear again.  I needed some help to deal with the fear while I finish coming off the lorazepam. The Dr. said the rule is when coming off a benzo, replace it with a benzo. I told him I don't care about the rule. He said he would be glad to work with me. I told him I have had good experience with hydroxyzine. While it does make you a little sleepy a light dose is OK. No withdrawal. No side effects (except a little sleepy. )He put me on 50 mg 4 times per day and within 24 hours my fear is gone and I am back in business. It is not addictive and it takes a long time to build up tolerance. It goes in effect within 30 minutes. I have been very pleased with it. If you are tolerant of the benzos this is another option to consider.


#11 Lundeliz

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 08:19 PM

Fishinghat, I do have a prescription of hydroxyzine. I'm really glad it is working

for you! I think that's a much better option than benzos. I'm a big old chicken when

it comes to trying new meds. I have tried a small dose of it a couple of times, but

probably was too small to tell how it would work. I will work up the nerve to try it

soon, because I would like for it to work. Sometimes I use a very small dose of

Benadryl, and it takes the edge off a little bit. This fear is so hard to cope with.

I

#12 Carleeta

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 08:31 PM

Fishinghat. .I'm right here with you...If you are tapering from lorazepam you will find support from me and all the members here...Glad you sought out advice and now are on/ or will be taking hydroxyine. ..You know what works best for you..stick with whatever works..Need to turn that fear around..I'm so sorry to hear it came back...How long were you tapering? When did you start this taper? You take care of yourself...thoughts and prayers....

#13 equuswoman

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 11:31 PM

Lunderliz , I am @ 5 months & felt like you @ 4 months too.
Take your Ativan or similar to settle you down ... It's amazing what a difference a day can make ...you are getting closer to feeling better .Wow just think ....you are already 4 months off Cymbalta .. This drug is pure evil & will fight you every inch of the way , it will do it's best to make you take it again.
Maybe you will need to take something to get you through the worst of it , don't beat yourself up if you do.
Whatever it takes to make you comfortable.
Good luck my friend , you can do this ...you are strong....get mad & kick this crap in the arse ....xx

Wagtail I agree with what you said. It is pure evil. What that nasty poison does to our brains/bodies. It makes me sick when I think about it. I am only 18 days out from swallowing my last bead so some days I have some nausea and HA and occasional emotional outburst. But I am hopeful that the future days will get better and better. Prayers and hope for you my friend. :hug:


#14 equuswoman

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Posted 04 April 2014 - 11:35 PM

Fishinghat, I do have a prescription of hydroxyzine. I'm really glad it is working

for you! I think that's a much better option than benzos. I'm a big old chicken when

it comes to trying new meds. I have tried a small dose of it a couple of times, but

probably was too small to tell how it would work. I will work up the nerve to try it

soon, because I would like for it to work. Sometimes I use a very small dose of

Benadryl, and it takes the edge off a little bit. This fear is so hard to cope with.

I

I have hydroxyzine and it helps somewhat. I am just so glad to have taken my LAST ever nasty bead of that stuff...

:hug:


#15 fishinghat

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 04:20 PM

Fishinghat. .I'm right here with you...If you are tapering from lorazepam you will find support from me and all the members here...Glad you sought out advice and now are on/ or will be taking hydroxyine. ..You know what works best for you..stick with whatever works..Need to turn that fear around..I'm so sorry to hear it came back...How long were you tapering? When did you start this taper? You take care of yourself...thoughts and prayers....

 

I started dropping at the 1st of the year from 4 mg and got all the way down to 3.3 mg when I started experiencing fear again. I was dropping 3% every 14 days and didn't have any problems with withdrawal until I hit the 3.3 mg. I stuck with the fear for 3 weeks and it didn't change so I contacted my dr and he increased my hydroxyzine dosage from 25 mg 4xdaily to 50 mg 4xdaily. I had almost immediate relief. So starting today I am back to tapering my lorazepam. If things get too bad I can go all the way up to 100 mg/day.


#16 fishinghat

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 04:23 PM

Fishinghat, I do have a prescription of hydroxyzine. I'm really glad it is working

for you! I think that's a much better option than benzos. I'm a big old chicken when

it comes to trying new meds. I have tried a small dose of it a couple of times, but

probably was too small to tell how it would work. I will work up the nerve to try it

soon, because I would like for it to work. Sometimes I use a very small dose of

Benadryl, and it takes the edge off a little bit. This fear is so hard to cope with.

I

Lundeliz, I was using my hydroxyzine as an emergency med (sort of like you would lorazepam) when things got too bad. A 50 mg dose worked real well for 3 hours or so and a 75 mg dose would handle even the worse event and last around 4 or 5 hours.  It may or may not work for you but it sure beats a med that is addictive and has a withdrawal like a benzo.


#17 Lundeliz

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 04:28 PM

You are so right, fishinghat, it's a great alternative to a benzo.

Most days I get by with taking nothing. But I will try the

hydroxyzine again soon, because I would like for it to work. Thanks!

#18 Wagtail

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 05:35 PM

Fishinghat, I do have a prescription of hydroxyzine. I'm really glad it is workingfor you! I think that's a much better option than benzos. I'm a big old chicken whenit comes to trying new meds. I have tried a small dose of it a couple of times, butprobably was too small to tell how it would work. I will work up the nerve to try itsoon, because I would like for it to work. Sometimes I use a very small dose ofBenadryl, and it takes the edge off a little bit. This fear is so hard to cope with.I


Lunderliz the fear hit me again yesterday , like a bolt of lightening.
I took 2 mg of Zanax & it didn't help which is very scary because usually it does help me.
I can put up with the physical s/e's & even the anxiety but the feeling of fear & dread , absolutely scar me to death.
I am going to go to the doctor & get a prescription for the hydroxzine .. I hope I can get it here in Australia .
This feeling of desperation is overwhelming ..& to think it's now 5 months since ai stopped the Cymbalta.

:-(((((

#19 thismoment

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 05:41 PM

Wagtail

Oh dear. Anxiety trauma is absolutely the worst! I have been there, and it's like drowning standing up. Do what you have to do to stop it.

#20 Lundeliz

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Posted 05 April 2014 - 10:56 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry Wagtail. It's very hard. I do hope you can get the

prescription for the hydroxyzine. It seems to help most people. I

hope the fear doesn't hang on long. Cymbalta just won't let some of

us go.

#21 gail

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 08:19 AM

Boy, am I ever glad that I saw this thread this morning.

 

Tomorrow is my first appt with the psychiatrist. I will ask about this hydroxy something.

 

I get scared and I cry. Is that fear? How often in a day do I say, God, I am so scared. Fear of always fealing this way. Panicky and anxious, for no good reasons. And to say that all stressors that were present last year are no longer present.

 

Like you Wagtail, at times ativan does not do it's job and at times it does.  Up to 3mg in the last week, never done this. Before starting on cymbalta, I was at 1.5mg a day. What a mess.

 

And like you Lundeliz, I freak out when the times come to experiment a new medication. But that being an anti histamine should make it easier, I think.

 

Fishinghat's expertise is a blessing and I thank you.


#22 clearglass

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 10:23 AM

Hi Gail and Lundeliz, 

 

Please make sure your psychiatrist looks at your medical records, including bloodwork, and they're willing to listen to you.  I worked for an insurance company and some doctors only offer medication without much discussion.  I switched to a Dr who's focus is the entire body; 1 hour+ each visit. I took my last cymbalta 20mg bead about 3 weeks ago and I'm doing very well. I still take a benzo, clonazepam/1gm, and will start tapering off this week. He's also into vitamins, which are helping a lot too. 

 

You are all in my prayers.

clearglass


#23 Wagtail

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 02:44 PM

Hello Gail & clearglass ...it's another new dawn her in Australia & I am feeling ok .

Gail , fear is the worst feeling to deal with in my opinion . After a reasonable day with some wonderful moments on Friday ! I was struck down with fear on Saturday.
I took 2 mg of Zanax but it didn't make a great deal of difference.
My coping method is SELF TALK & affirmation , either from myself or others from this site . Everyone has helped me @ some point through my journey.
I remind myself that the FEAR is a s/e from the withdrawel from Cymbalta. It's my body trying to scare me into taking more CRAPALTA .
I try to replace the fear with ANGER, & tell myself to stay strong & not give in . Luckily I didn't give in , because the very next day ( Sunday ) I felt much better & the fear had eased to a comfortable level .
I took another 2 mg of Zanax when I woke up & this time it worked . Gail maybe you could take a slightly higher dose until you feel a bit stronger & can deal with the fear feelings, just to break the cycle, then ease back to your low level as you feel better.
Clearglass, I'm so happy that you're feeling better, you seem to be coping well considering it's only 3 weeks off Cymbalta .. That is great news my friend.
Xx

#24 gail

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 04:08 PM

Oh Wagtail, you are right when you mention BREAK THE CYCLE. And like you, today was better, much better.

 

That cycle of panic started when I first stated on Lexapro, on that for 4 months, switched directly to Cymbalta. It worsened on that crap. And when I say that I want to die, it is not suicidal, it is that I feel so bad that I would prefer to die. And that has happened much to often to my liking.

 

I wonder how I am still there.  Every morning while on that crap, I would wake up and feel so bad and scared out of my witts. The diaries I wrote, I would not like anyone to read them, despair. Now, mornings seem better, always writing, but  with less desperation. More inspiration, I would say.

 

Break the cycle, Oh God, that I need. Thanks for your feed-back, from one Gail to another.

 

Clearglass, my blood works came in all normal, no medical history except anxiety and bouts of depression. And you can be sure that I will not come out of his office with a crazy prescription. Or I will do as Fivenotions did, paperbasket. I will accept hydrosomething, I will see how goes.


#25 TryinginFL

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 04:38 PM

Gail...seems that you are on the up-swing!  Breaking the cycle, which works, is a wonderful thing :)  And good test results sure a lift!

I agree - trashing any prescriptions is an excellent idea - I feel the same way!!  Don't want to be put on anything else ever again...

 

Please keep us posted - things are looking up for you!

 

Hugs and prayers,

Liz :hug:


#26 Lundeliz

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 05:25 PM

Oh gosh, just when I let my gp and my family convince me to go see a psych to

 

maybe start on an ssri.  I have been so determined up to now to never take another

 

one, but I'm just not even functioning. I don't know what to do.  My little granddaughter

 

invited me over to watch a movie with her this afternoon. I didn't think I could do it,

 

but just couldn't say no.  I went, and I have no idea what the movie was about, but

 

I managed to sit through it.  I didn't think I could, but I'm glad I did it for her.  I may

 

try an ssri for a little while to make everyone happy.  If it should work, then I'll stay

 

on it a while, take a breath, then taper slowly.  I will be very happy if it works.  I hate 

 

the thoughts of taking them again, but gosh I would like to at least be sorta functional.

 

I'm glad everyone seems to be having a better day today.  Fishinghat, what do you

 

mean that 4 to 5 months is the cutoff point?  Just wondering.


#27 fishinghat

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 06:34 PM

I was just saying that for me, if I have been suffering some ill effect for four or five months with little or no improvement, it is time for some medicinal help. It is a two edged sword. On one hand you will start to be condition to that symptom (like fear or panic) and on the other hand you hate to go on another medicine. But I would say that for me 4 months is long enough. If I haven't brought it under control by then, off to the dr I go!!!


#28 Lundeliz

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Posted 06 April 2014 - 08:43 PM

Oh, ok, fishinghat, gotcha! Thanks.

#29 Wagtail

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Posted 07 April 2014 - 01:00 AM

Talk about not coping ... I'm up & down like a lift !..:-(
I slept pretty good last night & woke up this morning feeling like things were getting better,but by mid morning I felt myself getting worse again.
I always run through everything I've eaten , been in contact with , smelled or used , just in case it's a chemical ( like bleach or perfume ) that is upsetting me.
Why can't I just accept that it is most likely the stupid s/e's still controlling me....one minute I'm ok & next I'm suffering again ..

I want to be better NOW !..:-(

#30 gail

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Posted 07 April 2014 - 05:47 AM

Hey Wagtail, I understand what you are talking about! We have to hang on to whatever good days we have, this is hard at times when you have the impression that this has been going on for ever.

 

You do have good days, meanwhile do what you have to do to get relief. It passes, we know that, alas it comes back! Some things we have to live with for a time

 

I will ask the psyc. this afternoon for the hydroxyzine, let you know how it goes. Hope your day gets better,

 

And to all of you going through this nightmare, let's hold on to hope that soon it will pass.

 

Thanks Liz for the encouragement, and Lundeliz , hold on, you will find something sooner or later, maybe the hydroxyzine, who knows? the brain is such a mystery.





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