Gail, what you described isn't what I was "betting" you'd say....
I was heading towards suggesting that you might have a dopamine deficiency type of depression, as I do.... it's when you want to do things but just have zero motivation or energy...a sort of psychic malaise or lethargy ..... Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant that acts on dopamine....I've been on it for 15 years, with wonderful success... I never should have been put on cymbalta, but that's another story...
But, this doesn't seem to be your "flavor" ...... Yours seems to be chronic and debilitating anxiety/panic .... which you, most courageously, "soldier through" and continue on with as much of your life activities as possible....
Without going into my story, here's what helped me to recover from the worst of my panic and anxiety (before the cymbalta debacle)...and what's helping me post-cymbalta..... Perhaps you, or one of my other fellow forum members, will see something here that might be useful ...
1. Find a good female therapist, not a shrink....not a man .... (My own bias...I believe that women are wired far to differently from men to be able to develop an intimate therapy relationship) .....I knew I needed to identify my underlying issues and get to work on them.....
I found a women's counseling group, and began going to see a wonderful LCSW...twice, sometimes even three times, a week for a couple of years, then once a week for a couple of years....
The LCSW focused on talk therapy and with a huge emphasis on changing my behavior and learning new ways of thinking and doing....no psychotherapy crap, just practical how to live stuff...that I'd never learned growing up.... (She's the gal who told me about the books by Lerner)....
2. Look into Twelve Step recovery programs.... There's one for almost every issue....
http://en.wikipedia....lve-step_groups
At the LCSW's suggestion, in order to deal with specific issues and situations in my life, I started going to Al-Anon and Codependents Anonymous meetings ...I went a couple or three times a week for a couple of years...... (That was my "social life" hehehehe)
Here's an article about their value. ...
http://www.ncbi.nlm....cles/PMC181125/
In researching my thoughts for you, I discovered that now there's also a twelve step program -- Emotions Anonymous (EA) -- for recovery from mental and emotional illness.
http://www.emotionsanonymous.org ....... I'm going to find out if there are meetings near me, and start going!
My research also pulled up a book I'm about to order:
Journey to Peace: A 12 Step Program for Anxiety, Panic, & Life (look inside)
http://www.amazon.co...c/dp/1438923651
3. Post-cymbalta, as I've posted elsewhere here, I've been using some amino supplements with excellent results....yes, they may all be placebos, as Fishinghat has posted some excellent research to that effect, but placebos are fine with me... Also, subject to a caution that aminos are strong, and shouldn't be taken without careful research...and to start with very small doses and work up....
The ones I've been using are GABA, for anxiety and sleep at bedtime; theanine for anxiety during the day; and tyrosine as a dopamine booster during the day. (Don't use tyrosine if you're not short of dopamine....it'll jack you right up and you'll feel awful.)
4. Post cymbalta -- also for anxiety, I sip on damiana tea during the day.... again, a caution that all herbal remedies need to be researched carefully and tried gradually....( if I could find a good Chinese traditional doctor or herbalist like Xiaojie, I sure would be happy!)
5. post cymbalta -- I've gone back to doing (trying to do) yoga.... it was very calming and strengthening for me years ago, and is proving to be the same for me now.....
I hope this doesn't come off as too preachy or pushy.... I wish there was a "one size fits all" remedy for all of us.... But, like life itself, it's an individual journey....we're alone in the experience of it, yet we come together to share our experiences in hope of lending others some strength and wisdom....