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#91 ittybittysmitty

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 02:07 PM

Thank you FN for your sweet reply...

My cognitive distortions went into full gear this morning;o))

I've told my friends and they understand...and one said she's had dizzy spells and they aren't fun...sweet lady..like my mom always says..if they're friends, the will understand, right?

Can you refresh my memory, FN..? How long have you been off Cymbalta? How are you feeling these days? Is the dizziness gone yet?

I'm going to take my anger out on my garden today!! That spade will chop through the dirt really well. lol. I hope you have more pillows...LOL..

I took this week off and noticed this morning with my foggy brain that my mother wouldn't be well served if I can't figure out how to take care of her. She hired a home health care agency and they are lifesavers!! So thankful we can afford it.

You and Fishinghat have been so supportive and helpful...God bless you for that...

#92 FiveNotions

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 04:55 PM

I'm 6 1/2 months off....quit cold turkey from 60 mg a day for 7-8 years....all the physical symptoms have faded....except for occasional bouts of optic neuritis and sensitivity to light....I also have to be careful that I don't overdo physically, or the next day I do feel crappy and can't do much of anything...it's a crappy feeling like general malaise, no energy and extremely achy muscles and joints....the mood swings have stopped, etc.

If I recall the dizziness faded about the 4th week....

Now I'm dealing primarily with anxiety and cognitive issues....and I think those are improving, ever ever so slowly....except if I get overtired...I also think the anxiety is due to me feeling overwhelmed by how my life was torn up , both while on and now off the poison....I have a lot of messes to clean up :-@

#93 Wagtail

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 05:03 PM

FiveNotions, we seem to be @ a similar stage in our recovery , me @ 7 months & you @ 6 1/2 months . My anxiety has returned also & I'm having trouble dealing with it , especially when I first wake up. I don't want to become reliant on a benzo & then need to go through another withdrawel .
I seem to have lost my determination & fight & I feel that after 7 months the Cymbalta has worn me down & is trying to make me need it again ... I'm scared !..:-(

#94 FiveNotions

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 05:41 PM

It is indeed exhausting, isn't it, wagtail!?

For me, the sense of impending doom seems related to me carrying all this cymbalta saga around inside me, with no professional to talk to talk it through with and counsel me....also, don't have a group, or even a couple, friends with whom I can share this and get it out there in the open. Carrying secrets is a killer....if not for this forum, I'd be in a psych ward now!

I really really think that once you get a handle on the anxiety you will feel much less exhausted....and I bet you that talking with your therapist regularly...remember, regularly, even every week for a while if you need it....will really help relieve the anxiety....

I,for example, am feeling tremendously relieved right now for two reasons..both related to talking openly about what I'm dealing with....

This morning I finally got a call back from a psychotherapist who accepts this medicaid crap insurance I'm stuck with...took me several messages to her to get her attention, and she can't see me until august 5th, but she came across as sympathetic on the phone, and she told me sessions with her are 45 min long (not the 15 min junk I get with the clinic docs), and I can have up to 12 sessions automatically covered by insurance, if I need more she'll just file a special authorization request. I'm thrilled....it's crumbs off the table compared to what I would have had under my high end plan while I was employed, but it's time where I can talk my self blue in the face!

Also, I just spent almost an hour talking to someone from my parish who I knew has had/does have a mental health issue....he isn't a professional of any sort, and I didn't know him at all well but screwed up my courage to ask him if he could talk to me about a problem I'm dealing with...I told him my cymbalta saga, and he was not only sympathetic and could understand, he was horrified and angry on my behalf....it felt so validating to see and hear his reaction to what's happened to me...and, as it turns out, he's got a great sense of humor, so we had some good laughs about it as well....I told him some of the weird stuff I'd bought online....;-). And, he told me to stay in touch with him because he cares about how I'm doing and to call him if I need help! Wow!

You are going to get through this Wagtail! Lean on your daughter and other close family members, they love you and are there for you!

I came home with a weight lifted off my chest.... :-D

#95 Wagtail

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 06:02 PM

It is indeed exhausting, isn't it, wagtail!?
For me, the sense of impending doom seems related to me carrying all this cymbalta saga around inside me, with no professional to talk to talk it through with and counsel me....also, don't have a group, or even a couple, friends with whom I can share this and get it out there in the open. Carrying secrets is a killer....if not for this forum, I'd be in a psych ward now!
I really really think that once you get a handle on the anxiety you will feel much less exhausted....and I bet you that talking with your therapist regularly...remember, regularly, even every week for a while if you need it....will really help relieve the anxiety....
I,for example, am feeling tremendously relieved right now for two reasons..both related to talking openly about what I'm dealing with....
This morning I finally got a call back from a psychotherapist who accepts this medicaid crap insurance I'm stuck with...took me several messages to her to get her attention, and she can't see me until august 5th, but she came across as sympathetic on the phone, and she told me sessions with her are 45 min long (not the 15 min junk I get with the clinic docs), and I can have up to 12 sessions automatically covered by insurance, if I need more she'll just file a special authorization request. I'm thrilled....it's crumbs off the table compared to what I would have had under my high end plan while I was employed, but it's time where I can talk my self blue in the face!
Also, I just spent almost an hour talking to someone from my parish who I knew has had/does have a mental health issue....he isn't a professional of any sort, and I didn't know him at all well but screwed up my courage to ask him if he could talk to me about a problem I'm dealing with...I told him my cymbalta saga, and he was not only sympathetic and could understand, he was horrified and angry on my behalf....it felt so validating to see and hear his reaction to what's happened to me...and, as it turns out, he's got a great sense of humor, so we had some good laughs about it as well....I told him some of the weird stuff I'd bought online....;-). And, he told me to stay in touch with him because he cares about how I'm doing and to call him if I need help! Wow!
You are going to get through this Wagtail! Lean on your daughter and other close family members, they love you and are there for you!
I came home with a weight lifted off my chest.... :-D


FN, do you mind if I ask you what you're taking for your bad doom feelings & anxiety ... ?.
I'm taking 0.5mgs Zanax early morning & @ bedtime , this is a new regime for me because previously I only took it when needed which meant I could go days without it , but now I feel that because I started needing it twice a day that it will make me addicted to it ... This adds to my panic .
I'm thinking that there must be something that's not addictive that will settle me down sufficiently to cope with my day to day activities !. Do you have any thought or advice on this please .
You sound like you're staying strong & still able to self talk & stay in control ..this makes me happy for you . I on the other hand feel like I'm losing control over my positive thoughts & I'm feeling more negative ...:-(

#96 FiveNotions

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 06:25 PM

For the anxiety I'm taking just the 2 mg per day of Valium...split into 1 mg doses 12 hours apart....and I've just gotten signed up to see a psychotherapist once a week for 12 weeks....

FH and TM say that Valium dose is too weak to be doing any good, but it seems to work for me...either really work, or just a placebo...either way, that's fine with me.

Knowing I'm going to start therapy is an immediate, huge anxiety relief....

The other thing I'm doing to relieve the anxiety is, I think, different than where you're at with your anxiety.....for me it is facing up to, and trying to make right the life messes I made while on cymbalta...I made a list...man is it long! And each day I try to do one thing and cross it off......for example, I just filed four years worth of taxes....I just scrubbed and disinfected my walkin closet where I discovered my elderly cat pooped, I just had dinner with an old friend I'd blown off while on the poison and apologized and reestablished the friendship, etc etc....

Each time I cross something off the list, I feel a release of anxiety....

It's different for you, I think.....I think you may be carrying some old wounds or some such that you may never have talked about.....and they're now festering and they want to come out and be talked about.....like I was back 30 years ago when I finally had to start talking about the alcoholism and physical violence in my childhood home....the anxiety then was totally overwhelming and was preventing me from living my daily life, working, everything....once I let myself talk, in a safe place with an understanding therapist, the anxiety disappeared.....I ended up on an antidepressant, but that was just fine by me....:-)

#97 FiveNotions

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 06:30 PM

PS and my doom feelings are, I'm pretty sure, directly related to the fact that I've been living off my retirement saving account since last June....I have just enuf money for about four more months rent...and I have to get a job that will at least pay rent...soon...Iand I have to be well enuf to do so....have no family or friends to whom I can turn....

That's actually a rational source of stress and anxiety, I think....if I wasn't anxious, that would be abnormal ;-)

#98 FiveNotions

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 06:34 PM

Wagtail, you really must talk to your doctor about this...you need your doctor and therapist directly involved to help you sort through this....stuff like this is more than our fragile little brains can handle...at least you've got a real doctor....I've got a medicaid paid idiot.... :-)

#99 Wagtail

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Posted 17 June 2014 - 06:37 PM

" If I wasn't anxious, that would be abnormal !."

This resonates with me !!!!!, the situation I find myself in ATM I could say the same thing , I am going to run with this thought for today & hopefully it will sustain me for now .

Thank you FN , you certainly are a gift from God ..xx

#100 kathyms3150

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 08:32 AM

Hi FN,  You said you get bouts of optic neuritis. I've also had eye pain while on Cymbalta. I do have dry eyes and had shingles around my eyes a few years ago. The eye doctor said the pain is from dry eyes, but I'm wondering if it's more than that. What is optic neuritis and is it permanent?  Thanks!


#101 FiveNotions

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 08:37 AM

Hi Kathy, I've got a long post about it somewhere here,I 'find it and put the link here....

Nope, not permanent..my doc called it "transient"..... It was constant for a couple of weeks....now, very much faded symptoms, and only when I get overtired or forget to wear sunglasses in bright sunlight.....I didn't have the dry eyes, but that can e part of it for others, or a symptom on it's own....



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