19 replies to this topic

[FiveNotions]

Warning, this is an epic rant. If you're not in the mood for rants, just skip it. ;-)

As most of you know, I've ended up dumped into the expanded medicaid program, and have to go to a medicaid clinic for my GP and shrink and a therapist.....the appointments are just 15 min long, an assembly line of pill pushing.....

The first witch doc I had at the clinic left, as I think I've mentioned elsewhere here. He was useless anyway...in just the time since my first appointment inJan, he didn't bother to show up for two subsequent appointments, and never returned the urgent calls/messages I left for him about the issues I was having with the damned poison...he also had told me he doesn't believe that there are any "withdrawal issues" with the poison....and wanted me to go on sertraline, I got the rx filled, but have decided I don't want to start taking it...unless I really and truly can't manage things without it...

So, I've been tossed over to a different/new witch doc, at yet another clinic.....a young Indian (India) woman who seems nice, but nice isn't enuf....another 15 min appointment....the first question I asked her is if she is familiar with what is called "cymbalta withdrawal syndrome." She said yes, so I thought to myself, wonderful...this one I can tell about what happened to me...both physically and now with the discovery of memory loss, weird behavior, etc. so, I gave her a brief summary of events since early December.

She swiveled away from the computer, where she had been typing...they never actually talk to you at these places.....crossed her arms, leaned back in her chair and said "I just need to tell you that it is my professional, clinical opinion that there is no such thing as extended, extreme withdrawal from this drug. A week of mild symptoms at the most. What you are describing cannot possibly be connected to the cymbalta."

I asked her if that meant she's calling me a liar.

And I told her about the research articles, etc. about this.....well, at least the one FH found.....I also told her about the law firm in California that is taking legal action against cymbalta, the mfg, based on just this issue, because the wife of one of their partners suffered through this as they saw first hand the hell it is....and that they already have hundreds of others signed up as clients, myself included.

I probably shouldn't have said that, because now she'll make a note to file that I'm a litigious bitch.

Fuck it.

We did not get off to a good start.

I then asked her if she was at least open minded to learning more about this issue, and reading the research articles that are being written about it. She said I could drop off the articles if I wanted to, and she'd look at them...and then reiterated, almost verbatim, what her clinical opinion is....

She also wanted me to start taking another antidepressant in the same class of drugs as the poison. I said no....I also decided to ease off, and act subservient and uneducated about meds.... she immediately became nice again....

I said I wanted to first try to go without another drug for "a bit longer" to see if I "could manage" without one. I assured her that I if I find I can't, I'll be happy to take her advice and start another one.

She also wrote me a refill for the one remaining antidepressant I'm still taking and a refill rx for the diazepam.

I played dumb, and asked if there are any alternatives to the diazepam, because I've heard it can be addictive....and I said I'd heard about something that isn't a benzo....Clonidine...and she wrote an rx for .1 mg twice a day....as needed....

All these jerks want to do is hand out more drugs and get you out of their office....so they can claim the medicaid/insurance reimbursement and move on to the next person....all of whom at these clinics are poor, illiterate and non Caucasian.....they do not want anyone to ask intelligent questions, or to know anything about these meds and how they work...or don't work....

So, after 7 months of experiencing the aftermath of this poison, I still do not have a doc who believes what I'm telling them has happened to me...not the GP at the clinic, not the 2 witch docs....and in august I'm supposed to meet with their resident "therapist" to talk about....whatever....I have zero hope that she will believe me either. But I will go through the "medicaid motions" in order to "comply" with the expectations of this sicko system.....and I will use every bit of information I can get from any of them to help this law firm get this drug off the market.

I am also going to call around to several other medicaid clinics and drug rehab programs to ask if they have anyone on staff who believes in this withdrawal syndrome...if so, I'll do my utmost to get myself switched to a doc there.

Oh, and one more thing....the GP last week said my systolic bp is running a bit too high...put me on hydrochlorothiazide 12.5 mg once a day....I just read up on that....it's a sulfanomide.... A class of drugs to which I'm violently allergic.... That allergy is noted prominently in my med records at this godforsaken clinic....had I started taking it without knowing this, I'd be in the hospital now....

I swear to God, if I'm ever well enough to work again, I'm going to find some organization or association that's fighting big pharma and that is where I will get a job. Every bit of legal and librarianship expertise I have will be devoted to destroying the evil that has tried to destroy us.

[FiveNotions]

PS....she wanted to refill the lunesta...I told her no...that I'd discovered it was actually making my sleep worse, and that I'd stopped taking. I also told her that I'd had a full day of withdrawal as a result.

Guess what....she said there isn't any withdrawal issue with lunesta....

If I didn't have this place to come, if I hadn't found this place....I would still be buying into the BS....and they would have me believing that it's me who is nuts.

Thank you all, I am eternally grateful for each and every one of you.

[thismoment]

FN

 

Oh dear what a frustrating experience! 

 

I admire your strength! Both the doc and the therapist said to me that it's a couple of weeks. I mentioned my continuing headache to the therapist (a year ago) and she said she didn't want to hear about that anymore! 

 

As I mentioned before, I said to the therapist that nobody is left unscathed by the antidepressant experience and she said I was exhibiting "fused thinking".

 

I sometimes feel this is cowardly, but I no longer mention anything to people in the medical industry any more; I'm on my own. I often wonder if I would get more serious medical attention if I said I'd been abducted by aliens and they took my aboard their spacecraft and injected me with alien DNA.

[FiveNotions]

Hahahahaha....next time, I'm going with the alien abduction approach! Not just for treatment by the aliens, maybe also what I tell the docs has happened to me.....at least they're familiar with folks having those stories to tell ;-)

Thanks for reminding me about the "fused thinking" thing....

I, too, have decided I'm no longer going to mention this to any of these clinic docs and therapists....not worth it....I'll just play along and get the meds I need, and take care of myself.

Yes, I realize fully that I'm on my own in this...except for this forum.

I am, however, still going to see if I can call around and find some doc or therapist, who is aware, knowledgeable, about this issue. If I'm successful, yippeeeee, if not, at least I'll have tried.

[air3333]

A medical opinion is just that, an opinion. It is not proof nor a scientific law. More people will come out against Cymbalta. I think in the future Cymbalta will be even more restricted because of harmful side effects.  

 

One time I had my car towed to one repair shop and they thought my engine was completely destroyed. I brought it to the dealer and they fixed the problem. Obviously, medical professionals are not going to understand what happens to people because they have never been on it. Experts can give us advice, but advice can be flawed and may not be reliable. Sometimes you have to go with your gut when it comes to your health. One patient can't convince the medical profession because some in the profession have a lot of overconfidence and arrogance and they think they know better than you on the subject of drugs. 

 

People also thought the world was flat. Doctors recommended cigarettes. Heroin was also good to use by Freud. History shows much of the reversals in the medical community because of overconfidence and everyone is trying to look for the magic bullet to defeat depression with some kind of product. Just because we are living in the 21st century with gas stations and food everywhere does not mean they know everything about the brain. 

 

Doctors do not mean harm, they just do not know what it is like on the medication, withdrawal, and lingering effects because they never went through it. More 

[ShadyLady]

FN...regarding "being dumped in the expanded Medicaid program"...I have a PPO, Blue Cross, and it is the same situation with every doctor I have seen! 15 minutes is actually longer than most of my past visits! I am too afraid to see the shrink & pain mgt. doctor and tell them what I am doing in stopping/tapering the prescribed meds over the last nine months. I have a pharmacy full of meds as they are filled for three months at a time through mail order pharmacy. I guess my point being is that, in my experience, PPO's are no better in the quality of doctors or visits! So, I sit here daily now and read post after post on this site to keep from giving up! I am unable to leave the house for anything while trying to make it to a day when my brain & body connect again:/

TM..I follow your posts for some much needed humor in this hell of CDS (where I live that stands for cul-de-sac;)) Any laughter I can get helps soooo much in helping me to heal myself:D All you 'God-likes' truly are!!

[gail]

Thismoment, just saw that you were promoted to God-like!

 

I, too, enjoy your posts and thank you for being there for all of us.

 

Same goes to FH, FN and others. As I often mentionned, angels.

Maybe the God-like word could be swapped for Angel-like.

[FiveNotions]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom and encouragement. After I made those posts I went to bed for a nap. Just woke up, read what you've written, and feel heartened again.

CymSik, thank you for reminding me that it's not just the medicaid system....and you are correct, I thought back to just last spring, when I still had high-end Blue Cross Blue Shield.....15-20 min was the time I got with my GP.....and all he did was write prescriptions...and referrals to specialists...who then wrote me more prescriptions.

Perhaps it really is time for me to talk with a naturopath, etc.... someone, anyone, who is not "owned" by big pharma.....

[FiveNotions]

Gail, I've written so many posts, and ended up with the G-L monicker not because I'm God like or angel like....it's simply because writing gives me hope that I can help others....helps me feel at least a bit useful and productive....and this hope helps me to ward off my own fears and darkness.... :-)

[dreamingotters]

What. The. Fuck.

 

I just...I guess I just haven't realized just how shit medical professionals, har har, can be. I mean, I knew, but I thought maybe it was my limited experience. Aren't they supposed to HELP? I guess that's just gone out the window.

 

I'm sorry you're dealing with this FN

[thismoment]

Thismoment, just saw that you were promoted to God-like!

I, too, enjoy your posts and thank you for being there for all of us.

Same goes to FH, FN and others. As I often mentionned, angels.
Maybe the God-like word could be swapped for Angel-like.

How about "Blabbermouth"? lol (Speaking strictly about myself, of course).

[gail]

How about "Blabbermouth"? lol

Absolutely not!

[gail]

Gail, I've written so many posts, and ended up with the G-L monicker not because I'm God like or angel like....it's simply because writing gives me hope that I can help others....helps me feel at least a bit useful and productive....and this hope helps me to ward off my own fears and darkness.... :-)

FN, understand quite clearly what you are talking about.

 

A healthy way of helping others while helping yourself.

Your honesty is quite a God-like quality, a great gift you were given. And I mean a GREAT GIFT.

[xman]

FN

 

I just read your "rant". It is not just the Medicaid clinics MDs that are ignorant about the withdrawal syndrome. You know. I can't remember--did you say you filed an FDA adverse event report? My thought is that the more that they have, the more effort will be put towards getting this drug off the market and/or provide education about what happens to your brain on this drug as well as when discont'd.

 

Also, of course, the law firm in CA with Zachary (sorry can't remember his last name) sound committed to helping the process.

 

I could clearly visualize your appt., per your expert details. :~) The docs from India are very focused. And you are right, will not take you serious unless they, themselves, have had an experience or have had a family member that has been through this hell. They may have a lot of "education" but do not veer from the books or literature marketed by the said company.

 

Throw an rx at you...

 

I'm exhausted now.

[brzghoff]

makes me wonder... maybe the anger issues we're feeling that we've attributed to cymbalta withdrawal is really a symptom of MEDS - Medical Establishment Denial Syndrome. 

[GonnaMakeIt]

makes me wonder... maybe the anger issues we're feeling that we've attributed to cymbalta withdrawal is really a symptom of MEDS - Medical Establishment Denial Syndrome. 

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA - TRULY AWESOME!

[Wagtail]

Fivenotions, have you started the Clonidine yet ?, very interested to see how it effects you ?... Your rant sounds like something we can all associate with unfortunately ...:-(

[FiveNotions]

Nope, haven't started the Clonidine....in fact, just about the time you posted, I was wondering if I should give it a try tonight....was thinking I'd start with the half dose like FH suggested for you....but I'm going to hold off, because I made it through today with no anxiety at all....and no Valium so far....so, I'm going to take 1 mg of the Valium right before bed, and see how I feel tomorrow....

I'm glad I have the Clonidine though....it's comforting to know I've got a backup if things get bad again....if the anxiety continues to stay low, if possible, I'm going to try reducing the Valium.....to just bedtime, rather than every 12 hours...

Heck, given how weak my Valium dose is, it likely is just a placebo...either that or I have the metabolism of a small lab rat....

[FiveNotions]

Brzghoff, you've coined a new one for our lexicon....right up there with "crapalta".....MEDS....medical establishment denial syndrome....

I sure hope Zachary from Knox Ricksen sees this.....it'd be great to toss it into a court filing or document of some sort ;-)

[brzghoff]

Brzghoff, you've coined a new one for our lexicon....right up there with "crapalta".....MEDS....medical establishment denial syndrome....

I sure hope Zachary from Knox Ricksen sees this.....it'd be great to toss it into a court filing or document of some sort ;-)

 

 

quoting brzghoff is always a good way to establish credibility in a court of law