7 replies to this topic

[ittybittysmitty]

Hello friends,

I have been withdrawing for 53 days and still am a basket case. I nearly ruined a friendships yesterday..

I have bipolar and am rapid cycling accordingto my psychiatris

my friend emailed me telling me she misses me but never calls or wants to get together...So I reacted offensively to her and cut off our friendship!! She is precious to me but i AM PARANOID and ASSUME she doesn't care.

I can't believe who I have become...

Does anyone else struggle with behaving like a complete a**?

[FiveNotions]

Yep, I know just what you mean, IBS...I was whacked out, and my one close friend bore the brunt of some really awful outbursts on my part...hysterical crying, flipping to rage ...in 3 seconds flat...totally misunderstanding stuff he said to me and reacting like a nut job...oh yeah, lots of us have "been there, done that"!

I'm assuming your friend knows you are bipolar, and that you are quitting crapalta, yes? If so, then just apologize profusely, explain that you were in a bad place when you reacted as you did, ask for forgiveness...and perhaps don't respond to any emails or phone messages while you're in a bad place...delay, re-read what you write before sending, wait before calling, etc....

Now, as to the bipolar and cycling rapidly....is your psychiatrist helping you to get a handle on this? What meds are you taking for the bipolar? And was the Cymbalta added to the mix for the bipolar, or for something else? Also, are you getting regular, frequent talk therapy?

You likely have already posted this info, so I'll go back now and read through your earlier posts....I just wanted to get a reply posted to you on this as soon as possible...

Hang in there!

[FiveNotions]

You just the other day went back up to 60 mg from 30 mg....and as TM and FH said, it'll take some time before that kicks back in again ....

Until it does, please ease up on yourself...I get the sense that you're pushing yourself too hard...if so, that will only make things harder...and make it take longer....

Please do tell us more about the bipolar and what you're doing/getting for that ... the rapid cycling can be awful, I had a secretary who had bipolar and she shared the struggle with me....she eventually found that Abilify worked very well for her ... which was ironic, because I was part of the legal team that handled the immigration documentation for that company's "Abilify Team" scientists and global managers who they brought to the US....

[fishinghat]

Hey IBS, you are a completely different person when in withdrawal. Not only does the mood swings cause problems with friends but many suffers loose all confidence and become very insecure. BUT it does go away. Hang in there!!!

[ittybittysmitty]

FN/FH,

Thank you for your support on this..

Nope, i'm still on 30..i have a call into the doctor on call...on thursday my pdoc told me to take half of the beads in AM, then 1/2 put into an empty gelcap around lunch or so....he told me CVS carries them and they don't...so i ordered on Amazon....
I'm fine until i take my Cymbalta and Celexa then turn into a raging lunatic...i'm trying to take care of my mom as a way of paying rent but she's so disabled and moans constantly and won't stop telling me how much pain she's in...my nerves are so raw from listening to her chatter...I have no more compassion....i'm going to get a doctor's note because this stress is making me worse.

My friend and I made up..she forgave me..i didn't tell her i have bipolar..she's one of those people who think Christians shouldn't suffer...

I AM pushing myself too hard...thanks for noticing that FN!! ))) It makes me mad when I hear my friend tell me how much fun she's having...some people have NO clue what suffering is like...

FN, i will try mindfulness today...thanks for sharing your insight.

Monday is my first appointment with a new therapist...

God bless you all...hope you enjoy your day!!!

[FiveNotions]

Good move with the therapist, IBS!

Too bad your friend is so uneducated about bipolar, etc....and more sorry that she's so uneducated about her Faith and Christianity.....being Christian (or Jew or Muslim or any other religion member) does not give one a "pass" on these illnesses..... or any type of illness for that matter..... same statistics across the board.....she'll learn the hard way one of these days when she falls ill.....if being a Christian meant we don't get sick, hell, it'd be touted as the cure for the common cold..... :-)

Also, suffering is at the heart...at the soul...of what it means to be a Christian.....she does realize, doesn't she, that Christ suffered, and is our model for the value and meaning of suffering?

Sheesh.....

[ittybittysmitty]

;o))) You are so wise FN...you make me smile..so glad we have this in common...our faith...

You nail it on the head about suffering FN...no one escapes it...it's all about how we respond to it...and how God uses it to make us grow to be more like Him I guess. AND, to top it off, we can in turn help others who suffer from the same problems, like we do here. Can I hear an Amen?..LOL

She is a 'name it' 'claim it' Christian...if you want to google 'prosperity gospel' you will find that they think God only wants us to be healthy and wealthy...if we confess that we will be...

I'm not sure what you like to read but I am reading a great book on suffering by Timothy Keller..called 'Walking with God through Pain and Suffering' It's completely biblical, based on the foundation you mentioned and I highly recommend it.

FN, can you please refresh my memory? Did you take Cymbalta for fibromyalgia?

much love today for you and everyone here!

[FiveNotions]

IBS,

Thanks for the book suggestion! I'll check it out on amazon.com/kindle or my pub library.....I read a lot, or I did before cymbalta withdrawal hell, theology, philosophy, history, biography, etc.....pretty much all non fiction....but I've only recently started back to reading again.....it's one of my many post cymbalta cognitive challenges....my reading speed is slowed, my comprehension and recall diminished, and my eyesight, although now much improved, had become awful....

Anyway, that was a bit of a ramble, sorry.....what I wanted to suggest is that you add a post about this book, and any others that you've found helpful, over in this thread on "inspirational books" that Gail started earlier this spring....

https://www.cymbalta...books/?hl=books

In response to your question, no, I didn't take cymbalta for fibro....at least, I don't recall that I did....although at the time I started on it I was feeling fibro sort of symptoms, so maybe that was a part of why I was put on it.....

The main reason I started it is explained in this post I made earlier today....

https://www.cymbalta...trin#entry44283

I know it helped me for at least a few months, after that, without even realizing what was happening, the drug dragged me into a whole netherworld of darkness that I'd never had before.....it's like it cast an evil spell on me....