Ok, ok, ok, ok, that's what goes for the high level of anxiety I experienced this morning. Omg, the anxiety hit the roof this am. Here I was with feeling as could as I can through the last few months with little to no anxiety (out of the norm anxiety) and this am my heart was going about 120 beats a minute. I knew it was coming on, so therefore I just went through the whole level 8 anxiety letting it not reach the level 10. It took a whole hour to start feeling the anxiety was going to subside. Here is my negative this am in a nut shell. One of my nieces had gone to Florida for a month. Therefore, since the summer program was ending where I worked this summer, I told her I would handle her business affairs for her. (she owns a health care service for the elderly). She handled the scheduling of the CNA's to the clients. I handled the paperwork and did interviewing for her and checked on the clients and how they were doing and how they felts with the CNA's assigned to them. Starting at 8am I received 3 calls from clients where the CNA's did not show up for their jobs. Now mind you, I was still asleep at this time and woke up to these 3 voicemails. Being the perfectionist I am, I immediately called them back to see what their concerns were. Once I found out, I immediately called the CNA's to see where they were. All three of these CNA's were on other jobs for which they had been scheduled. I could feel my heart pounding at this point. Trying to call this niece of mine (who is on her way home from Florida) After an hour or so she eventually called me back after numerous voice mails and text(keep in mind she was not driving her husband was). I let her know the concern of these clients and what occurred today. What had happened was when scheduling these girls she moved them around and they had been put somewhere else and forgot to take them off these clients schedules. Which resulted in no care for these 3 elderly clients. At the same time I was talking with my niece another CNA called me and stated she was scheduled to work till 3 pm today on a case, although just notified to leave her case at 2pm to get to another case. I'm at this point starting to feel the tight chest and shallow breathing start. Telling my niece to fix all this right now or I'll send others on this case and/or I'll go in myself. At this point she's telling me she is exhausted (now she is the one on vacation here...lol lol lol), I actually hung up on her, which is what I needed to do because I knew I would have had a full blown level 10 attack. At this point I went to my room, walked slowly, talked myself through this attack, which took sometime, which I stated earlier. About 10 am or 10:30am things were setting down with my anxiety. After that I called each client back to see if they heard anything from my niece or did any CNA's show up, Notta..... well I knew at this point I had to take action and call in CNA's who I told would get paid time and a half if they would go in today. My niece was furious I did this and I let her know exactly what I felt....(just image what I said....). She has been calling all day, I refuse to pick up the phone. I do know she is trying to apologize to me (through my other niece and great niece). I will talk to her tomorrow when she comes here to pick up her paperwork. Oh it felt good to just vent and let go of this negativity. We all have these negatives in our lives and when you are doing your best to keep hanging on to the positives, we need to release the negatives as well. By noon today I was back to my old self and getting ready to cook for the party on Saturday. One day at a time, one step at a time, and not worrying about my next anxiety event because it may never happen. No what if's.