38 replies to this topic

[gail]

Hello to all of you,

 

From month 3, things got so much better. Much progress in every aspect.

 

Not back to normal, but a few 3 to 5  good days followed by the s**t days.

 

That lasted for 1month and a half. God, was I ever happy about this.

 

At the mark of 4 and a half months, the last two weeks, the s***t hit the fan, very few good days. 2 in fact. Tried upping the benzos, just like taking sugar pills, of no use. I can have a 3 or 4 hour window where I feel ok. Not many though. Benadryl helped a few times, but I hate the after effect.

 

Anxiety wise, that is the killer, or the bear walking by my side. Tinnitus, which I can tolerate and on and off headaches that I can handle. The bear, well, if any bear hunters around, welcome anytime. Plane tickets free. Got a tiny bit of humor left.

 

Clonidine was prescribed to me this morning by my doctor to help me through this. Suggestion made by our dear Fishinghat.

 

I feel as I am back in the beginning, I am not very brave, and that scares me a bit.

 

What helps me for a few minutes is reminding myself that  month 4 to 6 are the hardest ones.

That info does not come from this forum, but from Paxil progress.

 

Any word of encouragement would be welcome, thank you.

 

 

[air3333]

Yes I think the hardest months are 4-6 months with the mood swings, anxiety, and depression from my own experience. I would keep going to see if it clears up in 6-8 weeks. 

[TryinginFL]

Gail,

 

I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly.  I understand about the anxiety as it seems to be close to me as well.  Right now, nothing seems right and I'm sure that is how you are feeling as well.  I have been off this crap for 6 1/2 months now and am not happy with my "state of mind", such as it is.  I feel very strange, but don't know how to describe it.

 

Hopefully FH will come on shortly and give you more insight into the Clonidine...I know nothing about it.

 

Hang in there ...  you have come so far!

 

Love, hugs and prayers,

Liz     

[FiveNotions]

Gail, I'm so sorry this has hit you.... I just counted, and right at the beginning of my 6th month off is when I had an anxiety meltdown...first week in June .... that's when I ended up on diazepam, and then added on clonidine...I'm now almost off the diazepam, and using just the clonidine ....

What dose valium and what dose clonidine did the doc prescribe for you now? Have you taken the first dose of clonidine yet? (With me, it doesn't seem to take too long to get into the blood stream and I feel it working within an hour.)

I'm finding the clonidine to be excellent for my own type of anxiety...a sort of adrenaline rush sensation that leaves me frozen between fight and flight ... I hope and pray that it works well for you!

Could this be caused by the valium? Do you think you've developed a tolerance and that now it's actually causing anxiety, rather than alleviating it? Or could you be feeling withdrawal between doses?

Another thought .... Is there anything going on in your life now that could be an external stressor? Or was there an issue you were working on at the time you went on Cymbalta that perhaps didn't get addressed because the drug masked it?

For example, my meltdown was, I believe, directly related to the return of much mental clarity, and my sudden recognition of the magnitude of the messes I'd made in my life while on Cymbalta (not filing tax returns for 6 yrs or so, etc.), plus needing to start a serious job search ...

At the time I was put on the poison, I didn't have any issues I was dealing with ... I was put on it to glue me back together after I had a drug-induced psychotic episode caused by the Teva generic Wellbutrin ... so I don't think Cymbalta was masking any issues that have now come back to the surface ...

Keep posting here frequently so we know how you're doing!

[gail]

FN, been on valium for maybe 6 weeks, crossed over from ativan to valium the aston way, safe way. My daily dose is 21.5mg, was doing pretty ok with that. So, no, for the tolerance bit. Taken 7 hours apart, no withdrawal.

 

No external stressors at all.

 

Starting clonidine tomorrow morning, .1mg, since the mornings are the worst. In a week, maybe another one at dodo time.

 

This is not a situational anxiety. I know of all the issues that have to be worked on, it's crystal clear,and, I had to cancell my rendez-vous with the therapist tomorrow. As she mentionned before, get it under control, then we can work on those issues. Since I have only 9 sessions left, so I reported it.

 

I will keep you posted of how clonidine works on me, thanks FN.

[gail]

Gail,

 

I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly.  I understand about the anxiety as it seems to be close to me as well.  Right now, nothing seems right and I'm sure that is how you are feeling as well.  I have been off this crap for 6 1/2 months now and am not happy with my "state of mind", such as it is.  I feel very strange, but don't know how to describe it.

 

Hopefully FH will come on shortly and give you more insight into the Clonidine...I know nothing about it.

 

Hang in there ...  you have come so far!

 

Love, hugs and prayers,

Liz     

Speaking of state of mind, Liz, I am not happy with mine either. And, also, I cannot describe it. Anxiety, I can describe but not what follows, I feel like s***t is the best I can do.

 

Thanks for your kind words, FH has allready explained the clonidine from a to z.

[gail]

Yes I think the hardest months are 4-6 months with the mood swings, anxiety, and depression from my own experience. I would keep going to see if it clears up in 6-8 weeks. 

Air3333, that is my plan, wait.

 

Where are you at with this discontinuation?

[FiveNotions]

Gail, based on all that you added to your first post, it sure sounds like you know what's going on with yourself, and so I'm with Air .... I'd say ride it out ...

I think this is one of those "waves" as someone here (TM?) described it .... and you'll soon be adding clonidine... just watch for possible sleepiness/drowsiness with it.. I was prescribed 0.1 mg twice a day ... all I need is 1/2 of the tablet twice a day... (however ... as I learned with the diazepam, I seem to react to small doses of all this stuff)....

Rooting and praying for ya'!

[fishinghat]

Clonidine is a classic bp med BUT it is very effective on anxiety. It is an alpha antagonist which means it stimulated alpha adrenaline synapses. These synapses are located in the frontal lobes of the brain and are used to control the amount of adrenaline our body produces. When these synapses are stimulated by the clonidine the brain thinks that it is due to adrenaline and it tells the adrenal gland to produce less adrenaline. It is a little slow to kick in, about an hour and a half. It has a 12 hour half life. Most drs prescribe 0.1 mg twice a day. One to be taken about an hour before bedtime and the other in the morning. Because it decreases adrenaline it has a strong calming effect which helps a per son get to sleep and stay a sleep. It is not unusual for people to have a little daytime drowsiness from clonidine until they get use to it ( one or 2 weeks). It does NOT work faster sublingual (under the tongue) like benzos.

[TryinginFL]

Perhaps I need a sturdier boat...

[gail]

. When these synapses are stimulated by the clonidine the brain thinks that it is due to adrenaline and it tells the adrenal gland to produce less adrenaline.

 

The brain thinks....well, it will be fooled manana. So ready for this. Let you know how it goes, thanks to all.

[air3333]

Well I am on 30 mg and I feel the effects of dropping from 90 2 months ago. 

 

I am happier, can think better, remember, etc. All around better life which I am grateful for. 

 

I am also experiencing IBS and and slurred speech. 

 

The slurred speech part is ridiculous, I have to repeat words to people. I have to talk to people in a different way. 

[air3333]

Also would like to report anxiety is way down on 30mg than on 60 mg..

 

Isn't that odd that an anti anxiety drug gave me more anxiety?

[gail]

Also would like to report anxiety is way down on 30mg than on 60 mg..

 

Isn't that odd that an anti anxiety drug gave me more anxiety?

 

 

Odd, yes, that it was prescribed to me exactly for that. And depressive symptoms. I was better off before I started this whole crap thing. At least, before starting it, I had many good days in a month.

[air3333]

The reality is that it is just marketing, and you just have to laugh about it.

 

They may or may not help people.

 

Wish there was some way to be an activist or join an organization against drugs like these. 

[gail]

 

They may or may not help people.

 

Wish there was some way to be an activist or join an organization against drugs like these. 

 

Yes my dear, they may help people for a while and then...wish I could say it helped me, not a least bit.

 

I see in other forums people that have been going from one ad to the other endlessly. Then swore on cymbalta. That will last a while, and then the s**** will hit the fan sooner or later. Side effects will sooner or later pop up. What ever ad you are on.

 

And this forum wont be big enough....A friend of mine has been on Celexa for the last 10 or more years, then klonopin was added, then sleeping pills were added, physical symptoms were added, has moody days, cant sleep days, panic attack days and so on. Buys things on and off, remodels the house every 6 months, needs to go to Cuba 4 times a year. Spends endless time on internet for bargains for the next trip. Cant seem to be satisfied for long.

 

There must be something else besides antidepressants to help. I recognize that at times, psychotherapy is not enough.

 

I tried all natural stuff before going on this shit, nothing helped. Many years of therapy.

 

Ranting here, I guess, it occupies my mind while this darn state of mind passes, sorry.

[TryinginFL]

Gail,

 

Rant on.... I agree - it is so upsetting to see what these drugs are doing to so many.   Even at 6 1/2 months off, I have never felt so strange in my life!  Oh, how I wish I had never taken this CRAP!!  Right now, I cannot remember when I last felt truly happy... 

[goldensilence]

Hello to all of you,

 

From month 3, things got so much better. Much progress in every aspect.

 

Not back to normal, but a few 3 to 5  good days followed by the s**t days.

 

That lasted for 1month and a half. God, was I ever happy about this.

 

At the mark of 4 and a half months, the last two weeks, the s***t hit the fan, very few good days. 2 in fact. Tried upping the benzos, just like taking sugar pills, of no use. I can have a 3 or 4 hour window where I feel ok. Not many though. Benadryl helped a few times, but I hate the after effect.

 

Anxiety wise, that is the killer, or the bear walking by my side. Tinnitus, which I can tolerate and on and off headaches that I can handle. The bear, well, if any bear hunters around, welcome anytime. Plane tickets free. Got a tiny bit of humor left.

 

Clonidine was prescribed to me this morning by my doctor to help me through this. Suggestion made by our dear Fishinghat.

 

I feel as I am back in the beginning, I am not very brave, and that scares me a bit.

 

What helps me for a few minutes is reminding myself that  month 4 to 6 are the hardest ones.

That info does not come from this forum, but from Paxil progress.

 

Any word of encouragement would be welcome, thank you.

You ARE brave, Gail!!  This medication is a profit-generating pill of lies on so many levels and YOU are beating it. You are doing this work. You are putting yourself through the legitimate suffering of one who seeks a life free. Free of the chemicals peddled by the medical establishment and their lies, fraud and deceit.  And yet you are making your stand.  I tried to go from 60mg to 30mg about two years ago.  It nuked my mind and wrecked me physically.  It scared me so much that I let two years of my life go by, afraid of coming off of this sh*t.  I'm on day #8 of bead counting and am SO thankful that I have this pl;ace where I can talk to people who can relate.  I know how lonely it can be to try and explain the myriad challenges we suffer as we rid our minds, bodies and souls of this junk. 

You are an inspiration, Gail.

[gail]

Hello Goldensilence,

 

What a lovely user name.

 

Day 8 on bead counting, the wise way to do it.

 

And you are right about this being the place where people can relate, that brings a lot of soothing and calming to see that even though we think we are losing our minds, we are not.

 

It does take courage to do this, and now you are doing it. The time is right and the method you are using has been prooved by so many to be a good one.

 

Keep posting, reading here, the good and the less good. There will always be someone to hear you and help you out, suggestions, encouragement in the rough times. Goldensilence, again, I love to repeat myself, love your user name.

[Unknown]

Hi, Gail -- 

 

I, too, am at the five-month mark right now, and I know the anxiety and depression are tough. It's frustrating to actually being feeling good and feeling happy, in your heart, but then your brain doesn't want to match up! I've read several times that the eight-month mark is when things really start to get good, so I am pushing hard toward that finish line! Keep up the great work, and thank you for your inspiration. 

 

Some things that have helped me: 

• Drink LOTS of water. 
• Exercise. I try to exercise every day, even if it's just a 15-minute brisk walk. 
• Practice breathing techniques. I'm one of those people who holds her breath a lot, and I don't even know that I'm doing it. 
• Make sure you are getting enough sleep (but not too much, of course!  )

[gail]

Hello WAH, been out of commiission those the last few days, was having my daughter over for a few days.

 

Thanks for your compassion, and yes, after 4or 5or 6 weeks of feeling better, have the impression to start all over again at some point.

 

Nausea in the last week, imagine that. After 5 months. My daughter bought me apple cider vinager tablets, and says it does wonders. And the anxiety that was under control is taking a life of it's own. Every day is different in intensity.

 

You mention holding your breath a lot, have always done that. With the start of meditation 2 or 3 months back, I often try to remember myself to breathe, not an easy task.

 

And those feeling of unease in the night when I wake up and go back to sleep. That was so much better. It is not every night, one night on two, and I hate this.

 

Yes, let's hold on to the 6 or 7 or 8 or whatever months it takes to feel ourselves again. Thanks, keep on posting, it's always nice to see that we are not the only one going through this.

[fishinghat]

Hey Gail, I hope you had a great time with your daughter. You deserve it. I am also glad to heaar aboout the ACV tablets working. I was thinking about picking some up. Are they just the Malic Acid tablets or do they actually contain the dehydrated ACV? Thanks

[Carleeta]

Gail, I'm sorry to hear this has creped into your life after 5 months of a fairly decent stabilization. It's not easy to have something like this flare up after 5 months. I do understand how scary, disappointing, unhappy you are feeling right now, and in search of something which could take this all away. It seems as though we know the answers to getting our anxiety level to a tolerable state, although doing it is quite another thing. The only suggestion I can offer, as I am not good with prescrptions, vitamins, and the like, as Fighinghat and others are, would be to just keep doing your meditation exercises even if you feel they are not helping because eventually they will lessen some of the anxiety which is brought on just by worrying. Even though you don't feel there are external stressors, the one stressor we neglect is the one in our minds called 'uncertainty" which seem to be faded in our daily lives. Just thinking something is back, or nothing is working, or fearing something will not work is just enough to set off a level of anxiety let alone the one which comes from withdrawing from Cymbalta or any medication.

You are in my thoughts always...

[gail]

FH, each capsules contains 500mg apple cider vinegar powder, 300mcg potassium and 4mcg bore. To be taken with a lot of water.

 

Always hesitant to try something new. Anyway, started this morning. Even read on the web that it was good for the anxiety and so many other things.

 

I cannot tell you if they work, all I know is that it did wonders for nausea, from what Annie tells me. She had a friend weaning off opiates, nausea real hard and that is what helped him. Could have helped him on other ailments, I dont know.

 

Yes, had a good time with Annie, even though the anxiety and ill feeling were present, it did good to think of something else besides moi.

 

Still on this last 3 weeks of *****. Good days seem so far away.

 

Read about your last bout of s***, so sorry.

 

I pray everyday for all of us here, asking to help us through. To give us the serenity to accept what we cannot change.

If I could make miracles, this forum would not exist. We would all be just fine.

[fishinghat]

Thanks Gail. I am going to my health food store on Sunday and look in to this. Maybe they won't be so hard on my stomach.

[gail]

Gail, I'm sorry to hear this has creped into your life after 5 months of a fairly decent stabilization. It's not easy to have something like this flare up after 5 months. I do understand how scary, disappointing, unhappy you are feeling right now, and in search of something which could take this all away. It seems as though we know the answers to getting our anxiety level to a tolerable state, although doing it is quite another thing. The only suggestion I can offer, as I am not good with prescrptions, vitamins, and the like, as Fighinghat and others are, would be to just keep doing your meditation exercises even if you feel they are not helping because eventually they will lessen some of the anxiety which is brought on just by worrying. Even though you don't feel there are external stressors, the one stressor we neglect is the one in our minds called 'uncertainty" which seem to be faded in our daily lives. Just thinking something is back, or nothing is working, or fearing something will not work is just enough to set off a level of anxiety let alone the one which comes from withdrawing from Cymbalta or any medication.

You are in my thoughts always...

 

Carleeta, thank you. Yes, that coming after a 5 week well enough period this is very unsettling. Meditation, those last days, so hard, mind all over the place.

 

The worry I have is all about this coming back, exactly the way I felt at the 3 week mark.

 

The good days have been so rare. When it is not the anxiety, it is this ill-feeling of I dont know what.

As for vitamins and supplements, I think I have all that is needed.

 

I've been here, I came out. And since nothing lasts for ever, Thank God, this will pass. I will reapply myself with the meditation.

 

And pray and hope to get pass this phase ASAP. And I thought I had it bad before starting on this s****, had I known it would have screwed my mind this way, can we use this word here, well it is said. Yes, screwed up my poor brain.

 

Merci Carleeta, it will reinforce my motivation for meditation.

[gail]

Thanks Gail. I am going to my health food store on Sunday and look in to this. Maybe they won't be so hard on my stomach.

 

You can get this at any druggstore. Well here in Canada at least.

 

FH, do you mind telling me what you will be using it for?

[fishinghat]

Gail I am looking to reduce my triglycerides. I am allergic to the prescriptions for this. Some research indicates it can lower triglycerides by up to 50%. Serum levels are suppose to be below 220 and mine runs around 900!!! So I definitely need some help!!

[FiveNotions]

FH, the ACV (liquid form) that I've been taking cut my triglycerides from above 300 down to about 200 .... in just two months ... you had such a bad reaction to the liquid acv, so I'm sure hoping the pills work for you!

[TryinginFL]

Think I would like to try the pills too - I'm not overly fond of the ACV tonic but I'm still drinking it!  Wonder if they will work as well....