62 replies to this topic

[MissAnnThropic]

I've never really done the forum thing but I have been reading posts here for the past few days. I had no idea what I was in for when I decided to stop taking Cymbalta. It wasn't just Cymbalta though. It was also Cymbalta, Celexa, Pamelor, Prozac, Dicolfenac and Dyazide. I am tired of being controlled, and unsuccessfully so, by drugs. Now...all these years I've never questioned what I was taking or why. Just took what the Dr. gave me. Now as I have begun to research I have to wonder why I was taking so many of the same kind of drug. Doesn't make much sense. When I decided to stop taking everything I really had no idea what I was in for. Now that I read more about it I am saddened that I ever let it go this far. Seems I will suffer the repercussions of my actions severely.

 

I have been told by friends that some natural supplements may aid in my withdraw so I went out this evening and picked up St. Johns Wort, Biotin, Omega 3, Acetyl L-Carntine, Alpha Lipoic and B12. I work full time but have not been able to go to work for the last 3 days. I can't drive due to what I guess are referred to as brain zaps. I went to my Dr. today and my motor skills are severely skewed and I burst into tears for no reason. Anyone who knows me and has witnessed the crying has been in complete shock because I don't cry. And I most certainly don't cry in public. I have never felt so out of control in my entire life. I don't even know why I'm posting here. This is so out of character. To think I may have months...even up to a year of this is almost more than I can bare. However...I REFUSE to be controlled anymore. I will NOT give up or give in regardless of what my Dr. has suggested. Taking a pill every few days and lowering the dosage seems to me like it will only prolong the inevitable. So...that's where I'm at. Again...not sure why I opted to post other than maybe because I learned so much from this forum over the past few days. I just felt compelled. 

[thismoment]

Hi MissAnnThropic

 

Welcome!

 

It's not your fault; nothing to feel guilty about: you were under the care of the physician. I'm with you on wondering about the list of drugs.

 

You indicate that you've reached a stage in your life where you want to take control. That's great, and that's precisely the motivation for many of us who have struggled (and are struggling) to get off these drugs. Sooner or later we hit the wall and say, "That's enough. I can't go on this way. I've got to take control of the life I have remaining."

 

Sure the water under the bridge can make you sad. But you didn't plan it, you didn't set out to end up where you are. It just happened. You can't fix the past but you can influence the future by what you do right now, and how you do it.

 

I see you picked up some supplements. I never used any except Omega 3, but others on the forum swear by supplements. Time is the critical supplement.

 

Cold Turkey is a rough road, and I note the brain zaps have arrived. The crying is a good thing; it shows there is emotion near the surface- many of us ended up with all emotions in flatline- gone. For me it took a couple of months for emotions to re-emerge, but when they did . . . they really did!

 

Yes you will have some months of discontinuation (after the drug is out of your system- about a week from your last dosage), and there could be a variety of disease-like symptoms appear. Often folks go to the doctor because they are frightened by the intensity of the symptoms. Often the doctor will suggest another SSRI/SNRI, and many people end up on a similar drug within a few weeks of quitting. Discontinuation can remain in focus for a long time, but generally as things get better and better, you'll suddenly notice you are thinking about other things. 

 

That voice in your head will tend to get louder, faster, and more critical. It's always been there and always will be- it just somehow gets ahold of a microphone and a big amplifier during discontinuation. Look into Mindfulness Meditation for when you can concentrate- might take a few months from now- but it will help attenuate that voice that just keeps saying things.

 

I note that you don't want to wean off, but would rather stay cold turkey. That's fine; many people actively posting here have quit cold turkey. There's something you should know- weaning off isn't prolonging the inevitable, it's making the inevitable more bearable. There's no noticeable difference in the timeline of cold turkey and a 3-4 month weaning program, but there's a big difference in the pain you will endure during the first couple of months. If I were to do it again (lol), I would do one of the ultra-slow weaning regimens over about 15 months- very few (almost none) symptoms.

 

It may be reasonable to suggest (but I don't know) that the character of the symptoms are a direct reflection of the quality of healing that is taking place in your brain. Something worth considering is the effect stress may have on prolonging discontinuation. 

 

Good luck with this! Stay strong! Please keep us in the loop.

[fishinghat]

Welcome MAT. This is going to be a challenge but you can handle it. Slow and steady wins the race. Don't put too much pressure on yourself during the withdrawal. try to kick back and relax as much as possible. It will make things a lot easier.

 

God Bless

[MissAnnThropic]

Thank you both for the input and encouragement. It is needed as well as appreciated. Day six and I want to crawl out of my skin. I find myself wanting to find other sources of relief such as alcohol. I have refrained thus far but the craving is becoming quite severe. Is this normal? Should I expect other cravings?

[fishinghat]

Quite common. Most on here have either an alcohol craving or food cravings. If you can keep away from the alcohol.

[FiveNotions]

Hi MAT, welcome! So glad you found us and have started posting!

 

A few questions that will help us help you ... what dose of Cymbalta were you one, for how long, for what condition, and was it the brand or the generic..

 

What other meds are you taking right now, and for what conditions?

 

I gather that you've quit the Cymbalta cold turkey ... if yes, why? It would be much more sensible to use the bead counting method. (I went cold turkey, and it ain't pretty or fun....)

 

What did your doc say about all this?

 

Do you have a benzo or anything else on hand to help with the anxiety?

 

Do you have any vacation or sick leave you can take to give yourself an extended period of time away from work so you can get off this stuff?

[MissAnnThropic]

Ok. I was taking 60mg of Cymbalta. Not generic. I was only on Cymbalta for about 6 months. I have been on others like it though for the past 4 to 5 years. I took Prozac most of my life off and on without any problems but the Dr's just kept adding different things. The Cymbalta was added to help with nerve pain and to help stabilize my moods. I have 5 herniated discs and severe degenerative disc disease. I still work full time. Sometimes as much as 60 hours a week. Not light work either.

 

I am currently taking Norco 10mg six times daily and Morphine 60mg three times. I imagine those are helping immensely with certain side effects.

 

I have nothing for anxiety and had a severe panic attack two nights ago. The first one in many years. I screamed at the person driving to stop and I jumped from the vehicle before it stopped. It took nearly 20 minutes before I was able to calm down and return to the vehicle.

 

My Dr was unaware of my intentions. I saw him Monday. He advised me to taper down instead of quitting cold turkey but I stated that wasn't an option and that I would never again take that CRAP. Regardless of how bad the suffering my be.

 

I have been out of work for a week now. Fortunately for me I have earned respect from my Superiors and they are all being very supportive. I am going to try to return to work on Friday. Right now I am trying my best to rest and get as much fluids, food and supplements as I can. Something I don't normally do. I am prone to forget to eat often but right now I think it's best to nourish myself as well as possible,

[FiveNotions]

Thanks for the additional info, MAT!
 
You are one tough gal to be working full time, actually more than full time, with herniated discs and degenerative disc disease ... clearly you are no stranger to pain and suffering ... I now understand a bit better why you feel you're going to be able to handle quitting crapalta cold turkey ... and I agree, your other meds are likely helping ease the Cymbalta withdrawal effects ..
 
I'm so sorry you got hit with that panic attack the other evening ... awful stuff the panic, just awful ... it seems to hit almost all of us at one time or another during this process ... I went several months without anything for it, and was going cold turkey like you ... it would have really helped me through the harder times if I'd had something ...
 
So, I do suggest you contact your doc and tell him about the panic attack and ask for something to have on hand for the anxiety ... a benzo, clonidine (a bp med, used off label for anxiety, I'm using it and it works like a charm), or hydroxyzine (sp) ... Fishinghat is our resident "drug specialist," and can give you details about all of these if you have questions...

Also, bravo for taking a bit of time off as you get settled into the process ... and give yourself permission to take additional time off as you move further along ...

[Carleeta]

MissAnnTropic, Welcome to the forum.  You've stopped Cymbalta cold turkey and are now experiencing some withdrawal side effects like brain zaps.  These brain zaps will fade and I believe they are not dangerous at all.  You stated you are on Norco and Morphine for pain.  It's possible if you are experiencing physical side effects from Cymbalta withdrawal you might not feel them do to these two meds.  Some individuals who stop Cymbalta cold turkey do experience severe withdrawal symptoms which are very challenging to handle, while others can experience withdrawals which are minimal.  When stopping a medication as Cymbalta there is a good chance you will start to feel much anxiety, as it was masked while on Cymbalta.

 

There are wonderful members here who are so caring, loving, understanding, knowledgeable, and very supportive. Please feel at ease knowing you can post all your concerns here and as often as you like, for there is always someone who can offer their voice.

 

Best of luck to you... Please keep us posted...

[MissAnnThropic]

I was going through my arsenal of pills to dispose of and found another one I left off the list. Though I don't take it every day I have been taking it for a while. It is called Nuvigil. It was supposed to help with my exhaustion from working so much. I am trying to go about somewhat normal activities today but I am very distracted and things are taking much longer than usual. Emotions are from one extreme to another. I am forcing myself to do things though. 

[Carleeta]

MissAnnThropic....Nuvigil is use to promote your waking state.  You did mention how you work 60 hours a week, and that is exhaustion right there.  Once off Cymbalta, you will beging to feel your emotions again...good, bad, the ugly unfortunately.  It's very common to have your emotions going off in all different directions.  It's ok for force yourself to do things, although be gentle on yourself also.  You know you, and don't push too hard...Take it easy and do what you can....

 

Keep us posted on your progress...

[fishinghat]

Like Carleeta said, Don't push too hard. The harder you force yourself to work the worse the withdrawal and the longer it stays.

[brzghoff]

I was going through my arsenal of pills to dispose of and found another one I left off the list. Though I don't take it every day I have been taking it for a while. It is called Nuvigil. It was supposed to help with my exhaustion from working so much. I am trying to go about somewhat normal activities today but I am very distracted and things are taking much longer than usual. Emotions are from one extreme to another. I am forcing myself to do things though. 

MAT, welcome to the forum. i agree with the others here that this a great place to seek refuge where you can get support, vent and learn from others who are going through a similar journey. if you can continue to work, it can be a great distraction from anxiety but the physical side effects like gastro issues and muscle/joint pain are rough regardless. honestly, i can't imagine working with what i've struggled with since i quit 12 weeks ago (tomorrow)  especially going cold turkey after a modified taper - virtually cold turkey. i had made the decision to leave my job for other reasons and then took advantage of the time to get off the C.  if i had tapered through bead counting i feel i would have been able to help my husband more with our "family business". 

 

of course, everyone is different and only you know what is best. however if it gets too tough to stay at work, that is normal - not uncommon at all. if you can afford FMLA, 90 days to get through the rough stuff could be very beneficial. its great that you work with "supportive superiors" - that could make a lot of difference in your recovery. i was in sales, where i would not have had any support, only the constant threat of losing my job if i didn't hit my numbers every month. 

[ShadyLady]

Welcome, MissAnnThropic;). Cool name & nice tat art!! Wow, another cliff diver comes aboard the ship of hope!! I call cold turkey cliff diving, as that is how I view my own experience of stopping the C-crack at 30mg or so, I only had 60mg caps & eyeballed dumping beads, as 'counting beads' (sounds like a jewelry project) was not my forte, though I did try once & lost count, the beads are charged like mexican jumping beans. Anyhoo, I am off the dope for 8 weeks and, imo, I believe the cliff diving is more harmful with more intense side effects and, for me anyway, the brain wreck I am trying to sort through is much more painful & intense than I could have imagined:/

We all choose different methods/reasons to get off the Dope after it turns on us. I wish you peace & the best success to you. I find this forum to be the pony in this pile of $**t of withdrawal/discontinuation;)

Blessings, Rebecca

[MissAnnThropic]

Today is day seven. I got up early...had a single cup of coffee (I usually drink 1 to 2 pots in the morning. Another thing I am quitting.), took my supplements and went to the dog beach with my family and my fur babies. I think the sun and water therapy were just what I needed. Funny...I've spent most of my life hiding from the sun. Today I just knew the sun would help heal me even if temporarily. It did. I felt great. Still struggling with brain zaps and poor motor skills but powering on. I noticed a lot more tightening in my muscles and more pain then usual in my neck and back. I've also notice I'm craving salt. Like straight out of the container. Foods don't taste quite the same either and I have an insatiable thirst. Call me a gluten for punishment but this also makes day two of no Morphine. I'm on a roll. I am determined more than ever. After seeing what these meds have done to me I am more determined to get all this CRAP out of my system. ALL of it.

 

Thanks to everyone for your support and for letting me vent. It really does help.

[ShadyLady]

Incredible, MIssAT!! Day 7 and at the beach with family & fur babies??!! Plus, day 2 of no morphine??!! That's miraculous:)
I stopped Oxycontin then Morphine a year ago...it was ugly & uncomfortable, but nothing compared to kicking the Cym!! You sound like one of the few, fortunate ones able to function a week into quitting the Crap! I am so happy for you, truly;). Warrior Woman, WooHoo!!

I hope you keep posting, it is an inspiration & hope for those here & the ones that will follow in getting off WeLie Lilly's 'Magical Mystery Tour' drug!! You go, girl;)

[FiveNotions]

Man, MAT, you sure are a "Warrior Woman" ... I'm in awe ... wonderful progress report, keep 'em comin'!!

[fishinghat]

MAT, a tip of my hat to you. What strength. And now a third withdrawal, coffee. You were very smart, drinking that much coffee on top of the withdrawals wouldn't be good. Be strong. God Bless.

[MissAnnThropic]

Thank you everyone. Your encouragement helps me feel strong.

 

Today is day 9.

Today I return to work. I spent yesterday forcing myself to do house and yard work. The yard work was in short bursts due to the heat which was unbearable yesterday. On top of that I was sweating more fluids than I could replenish. Again...it is very slow going. Standing up from a sitting or squatting position is very difficult. I feel like I am going to pass out each time. I grab onto whatever is closest and wait until my vision and faculties return. Usually within a minute or less.

 

The muscle pain and severe muscle cramps are really strong. I've also had pretty intense digestion issues. Irritability on HIGH. Trying my best not to snap at my loved ones. Proving a very difficult task. My skin is VERY sensitive as well. Almost a cross between flu and bad sunburn. Certain clothes are very uncomfortable. I seriously considered shaving my head a couple of times because my hair has been "crawling". That's the only way I can think to describe it. I am VERY sensitive to sound. Everything seems so loud and if I had to be in presence of a crying child I think my head would explode.

 

I am still taking my supplements. I don't know if they're helping but they can't hurt. I am very nervous about going back to work. I set such high standards for myself and I fear I won't be up to par. That is putting a lot of stress on me and I have been in tears all morning because of it. 

 

So that's where I am today. Thanks again for your support. You really don't know what it means to me. I will keep you posted.

[thismoment]

MissAnn

 

Day 9; good work! 

 

The flu-like symptoms, aches and pains, skin sensitivity, sound sensitivity, skin crawling, and digestion issues are pretty standard for the course. But they will begin to get better as time goes by. I know it's easily said, but hang in there!

 

I understand it's painful, and sometimes we say unkind things to those around us; I did that. But that's something you can't take back-- go away from them for this period if you have to. People are like elephants, they never forget.

 

Take care. 

[fishinghat]

Sorry things are so tough MAT. Do you take any magnesium? Wheen someone is exposed to heavy stress they lose a lot of magnesium and calcium. You might consider around 300 mg/day. It won'y cure it but it usually helps.

[MissAnnThropic]

I haven't been taking Magnesium but I will most certainly add it to my supplements. 

 

Today was stressful and very trying but also very rewarding. I was never happier to be back at work. I love my job and my co-workers. It was a warm welcome back and after only a weeks time I could see how much my presence was missed. 

 

I started having heart palpitations today. Not sure if it was from the stress of being at work or new symptoms. 

[fishinghat]

Heart palpitations are common with adrenaline based stress. Heartpounding, skip beats, etc. The magnesium will help with that issue too. It also tells me you need to slow down and give yourself a break for a while. Not always easy to do though.

[MissAnnThropic]

Day 10.
Actually feeling less tired even though I only had four hours of sleep because I was at the airport until nearly 6am this morning waiting on my Daughters delayed flight. I this my stress levels will be lower now just having her back home.

Heart palpitations aren't as bad so far today. I will be returning to work again today so I will see if that changes at work. My muscles are killing me and I can't get enough to drink. I still have a serious craving for salt and alcohol. All in all...I am becoming more positive about my situation. Oh...and I realized I can't climb ladders. I was trying to get items down from our warehouse only to discover even the slightest height made me very dizzy. Will try to avoid that when I can. Off for day 2 at work. Wish me luck.

[MissAnnThropic]

Day 11

Yesterday I had a few hiccups. I threw an object at one of my employees. granted he was trying to push my buttons but I usually generate between control. He later came and apologized which made me feel even worse.

I had nightmares at what times I could fall asleep last night. Today I gave into my cravings and started drinking. I have never tasted anything better. Four glorious beers down in approx. 20 mins. I know its not the best thing for me but I do feel its deserved.

Has anyone else experienced a higher than usual sex drive?

[FiveNotions]

MAT, be careful with the alcohol consumption ... the reason you're craving it is likely because it boosts serotonin ... but only briefly ...that fades rapidly, and serotonin levels drop even lower than before the alcohol ... so people crave even more alcohol... you're using the alcohol to self-medicate now that you're not on an ssri ... dangerous ....

This is a really simplistic explanation I found on serotonin depletion... http://www.livestron...onin-depletion/

"Alcohol, nicotine and marijuana cause a burst in the release of serotonin by your neurons, resulting in an initially elevated euphoric mood. However, once the initial feeling of euphoria fades, serotonin levels drop lower than they were originally, a significant serotonin depletion. Often, this leads to continued drinking or smoking in a futile effort to regain the initially heightened serotonin levels.

This article also discusses the relation between alcohol craving and low serotonin ...
http://www3.scienceb.../200000173.html

There's also a link between low serotonin and aggressive behavior ...
http://www.dana.org/...s.aspx?id=43750

[FiveNotions]

What those articles don't address is why some of us, myself included, drink like fish while on  Cymbalta, and then stop drinking as soon as we get off the drug ... I need to research that issue now ...

[brzghoff]

What those articles don't address is why some of us, myself included, drink like fish while on  Cymbalta, and then stop drinking as soon as we get off the drug ... I need to research that issue now ...

overconsumption of alcohol is one symptom of antidepressant-induced hypomania. symptoms of hypomania also include indiscriminate shopping (online or otherwise), rage, poor judgement and more. sound familiar?

 

;-)

[FiveNotions]

yep, that's me ... 7-8 years of hypomania ... had no clue it was happening while it was happening ...

[MissAnnThropic]

Thank you FN. The articles were helpful. I've always have a violent temper. That's one of the reasons they started medicating me from way back when I was a kid. Take this medication for this and this one to counter act the side affects of the other one and now this drug to increase/decrease to results of the second drug...and so on and so on. It's no wonder one finds themselves taking a hundred pills a day. Dr's...over-paid meat magicians.

 

Today is day 12

 

It started off perfect even though I slept only a few hours. I was up all night making Key Lime Cupcakes for my employees to make up for my shortness.I woke up feeling great and didn't have the usual brain zaps. What ones I did have were very mild. 

 

I went to work in a fantastic mood. A little bit of road rage but that's normal even with the medications. As the day wore on and two of my employees called off leaving my already shorthanded crew in detriment. My bright sunny mood took a dive but I powered through it with a smile through gritted teeth. 

 

When I got home I was ravenous with hunger and nothing would satisfy. So I ate everything until I puked. The whole time I'm asking myself "WTH is wrong with me?"

 

Soooo...today has been up and down but I am happy to report that I am feeling MUCH better.