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New Here And Day 9 Of Ct Withdrawal


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#1 Amysgarden

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 10:22 AM

Hello all

Spent much of last night reading on this forum and finding some comfort in the knowledge that I am not the only one. Let me introduce myself and my AD history...

I was started on antidepressants in late 1995 for anxiety attacks and seizures, what my psychiatrist pinpointed as physical signs of depression. Was on Zoloft and Buspar until late 1998, when I was pregnant with my first baby. Zoloft cause some pretty severe side effects for me while I was on it.... Nausea, constipation, emotion numbness, sexual dysfunction. It took a few months to taper off, but the only really bad symptom of withdrawal was brain zaps. After my daughter was born, I had severe baby blues a couple weeks after the birth, and I took Zoloft again for maybe a few days, but the nausea was so severe that I stopped. About 7-8 months later, I was so depressed that I could barely eat and slept too much. I was nursing my daughter, but I could not keep up, and my weight dropped down to about 108 lbs, which for me at 5'5" medium build, was dangerously thin. My doctors were alarmed, and my psychiatrist put me on Paxil.

I stayed on Paxil during my second pregnancy, as they were very concerned about my depression history. When my second daughter was only 4-5 days old, she had a small seizure, which I think was related to her withdrawal from my meds. In 2004, I was diagnosed with PTSD, had four nervous breakdowns, tried to commit suicide. By the end of the year, I was on Wellbutrin and Temazapam (for sleep issues) and prazosin (for PTSD nightmares) in addition to the Paxil. Wellbutrin made me so jittery and hyperactive that I basically had ADHD....and vertigo and large scale tremors to the point where i no longer had fine motor control. I eventually stopped the welbutrin cold turkey, but it took nearly 6 months to heal from the tremor and motor control loss.

In 2006 I switched to Cymbalta to help deal with chronic pain that my doc thought was fibromyalgia. And it did help with the chronic pain. And while Cymbalta was a very good drug compared to the other antidepressants I had taken, it was expensive, especially since I was on 90mg. I had very few side effects, other than constipation and night sweats. But with my PTSD still out of control, I eventually ended up on time-release Xanax. It was quite the stew of toxic drugs for awhile. By the end of 2008, I had figured out what was prolonging my PTSD (marital stress and an emotionally abusive spouse). At the beginning of 2009, I made a resolution to get off the benzos. I dropped the prazosin, went cold turkey off the temazepam. I didn't sleep at all for about 3-4 days. I managed to drop half my Xanax dose with few problems. I had been taking two of the control release pills a day. But because they were control release, I couldn't break the pills. So I dropped it cold turkey. The withdrawal and healing took a good 6 months, and I still occasionally have digestive issues related to the benzo addiction.

Anyway, that is my not-so short history of psychiatric drugs. I had tapered down from 90 mg to 30 on the Cymbalta, with plans to do a bead count taper this fall when my outdoor job slowed down. But my not-at-all-helpful husband retired and switched insurance plans without explaining to me what the details of the insurance switch would be. As a result, I had to get prior authorization to transfer my prescription from the required mail-order pharmacy through Aetna. Well, my psychiatrist retired a few months ago, I lost my primary care doctor with the insurance switch, and I ran out of Cymbalta before anyone could get their act together. I was off the drug cold turkey for 5 days before husband returned home from a trip and could do anything about the insurance issue. I did not have any contact info or authorization to deal with the insurance stuff. He tried to insist that I get back on Cymbalta, but honestly after having already done five days of detox, I wasn't willing to jump back on the drug. Yeah, I'm pissed. I am self employed as a gardener, and it's pretty difficult to get through a 6 hour work day of physical labor while coping with withdrawal. But so far I'm getting through. Missed a couple days of work.

So here I sit, putting my story out there this morning before work. My worst symptoms are acute sinus pressure and pain, brain zaps, insomnia, diarrhea, muscle and joint pain, tingly and achy skin, abdominal tension/shaking, crying jags, and anger outbursts. Sigh. This is definitely the worst withdrawal I have faced yet in my history of cold turkey withdrawals.

I'm glad to find a group of people who know what it's like.

#2 FiveNotions

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 10:37 AM

Hi Amysgarden, I'm so glad you found us! Welcome to a wonderful place, with wonderful people ... I never would have gotten off the stuff without their help.

I quit cold turkey, like you ... and for pretty much the same reasons... it's the hard way to go, but you can do it! A number of us here are "cold turkeys" ... we all made it, but we wouldn't recommend it as the best way to go... however, ya' gotta' deal with what you've got.. and I can tell you've already got a handle on how to deal.

Your story, and the progress you've made with getting off the drugs and healing, is remarkable. Thank you for sharing.

I need to reread what you've written before I give any real thoughts/suggestions...but I just wanted to welcome you to the group... others will be arriving soon to do likewise...

Hang in there, and stay with us!

#3 fishinghat

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 10:55 AM

Welcome AG. I hope all goes well as you continue to withdraw. God Bless


#4 brzghoff

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Posted 15 August 2014 - 11:38 AM

 

hi amy… wow. what a story, you sound like a real survivor. the road ahead may be rocky, and don't be alarmed if your feelings get out of control, this too shall pass. everyone is different. i have to take my recovery day by day and i choose to do the best i can with what i've got and trying not to have any expectations for the future such as defining when i think i "should" be done with symptoms. i ended up with no cymbalta coverage with new insurance (don't let me get started on my tirade about the plans on the "exchange") but wanted to be off anyway. i went on a quasi taper method... with no side effects at all until i reached the point of splitting  30 mg caps and taking 15 mgs every other day. i learned that is about the same as going cold turkey. i have been fortunate to have not had any significant bouts of anxiety for over a week (i am 13 weeks off)  but that has been a big struggle for me and many others on this board so if it kicks in it WILL pass, along with the other withdrawal/discontinuation symptoms. 


#5 Amysgarden

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Posted 22 August 2014 - 01:38 AM

On day 16, and I don't know whether it's getting better or worse. The achy, tingly skin-crawling feeling is worse, along with the joint pain. I'm barely getting through my usual 6 hour work day. What's worse is that I feel like I'm functioning at about 60% physical strength and stamina right now, and that is debilitating for the kind of work I do. Before, I wouldn't think twice about spending the entire day doing shovel and wheelbarrow type work. It's exhausting, but I've always had the energy and physical strength to labor all day, day after day.

The worst is that my irritability level is going up, along with my anger issues. I have not been so hot headed for a very long time.



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