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Well....i'm Back


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#1 Amybc7

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Posted 29 September 2014 - 07:33 PM

I haven't been around much the last month.  I was feeling okay...reducing beads very slowly.....feeling (dare I say it....) good.

 

Went to my last doctor visit and just was left feeling disappointed.  She insists that withdrawal is all in my head.  She said that the small number of beads I am taking have no affect on my body and wouldn't refill the prescription to allow me to taper off.  My trouble sleeping that suddenly popped up when I began tapering?  Sleep Apnea and she referred me to a sleep clinic (which I refused).  Gastro issues that popped up when I began tapering?  My diet (which hasn't changed!)  

 

Her only solution was to offer me another anti-depressant.  I'm pleased that I'm not feeling depressed.  Yes...there are "down days" but not the grunge that I struggled with before.  My anxiety on the other hand?  Awful.  Horrible.  It wasn't a big issue for me before and it is just horrible.  That?  Nope.  No prescription - instead I'm supposed to try meditating.  I get the value in that, but when I cannot function it's hard to find a way up to meditate my way through it.  

 

So following that appointment a few weeks ago - I said forget it.  I said I knew my body and I knew what was real.  I continued the taper as I was and did okay.  Then I realized I didn't have enough beads left to finish it out and started tapering faster.  

 

Today I am back three months ago.  I am crying as I write this.  So nauseated.  Bone tired but can't sleep.  My entire body hurts.  And the anxiety!  Today I have survived on the couch with some benzos to take the edge off (not quite back alley obtained, but not prescribed to me which in turn gives me anxiety!) So frustrated.  Scared.  Feeling alone.

 

The last two days I took 4 beads.  FOUR STUPID LITTLE BEADS!  Is this all in my head?  


#2 Carleeta

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Posted 29 September 2014 - 07:48 PM

Amy, I hesitant to say it's good to hear from you.  Was not expecting to hear the bad news and how you are feeling.  I can just imagine how horrible this is for you.  Is there anyway you might be able to get back to your doctor and get more Cymbalta?  there possibly another doctor you can talk with and explain somehow how you need to taper from Cymbalta and your doctor just cut you off completely.  One thing I know about most doctors is they have one thing in common and that is a taper plan for all meds whether they be pain killers, or anti depressents, and the like.  You need to do whatever it takes to either get more Cymbalta or convince the doctor your anxiety is so high you will need something.  It's ok to say benzos have worked for you in the past because this way you will have a better chance of getting them prescribed for you now if you feel they will help you get through this just in case you are unable to get a Cymbalta prescription. 

 

We are here for you Amy, please please keep us posted.....


#3 DoneWithCrap

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Posted 29 September 2014 - 08:07 PM

Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about the way your doctor is invalidating your pain. It makes me sick how "professionals" can be so arrogant that they wont lesten to their patients.

 

I hope you can find a way to discontinue this poison with as little discomfort as possible.


#4 TryinginFL

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Posted 29 September 2014 - 08:15 PM

Amy...

 

Happy to hear from you but not your circumstances!  I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I am now on my 3rd doc within a year-any chance that you could find another for a benzo and enough crapalta to bead count?  Your current doc sounds like an idiot and I used to think that I couldn't question them... HA! I don't feel that way any longer - if they won't listen to what I am saying or want to prescribe something I don't want, I just don't go back.

 

You need to get another prescription so that you can bead count as you were - more slowly and safely.  A benzo is needed to get you through this - at least I got that with no problem.  If you explain the anxiety you're feeling, I can't imagine that a doc won't prescribe for you - I used to feel like I could climb the wall!

 

Please see another doc - don't mention the bead counting - just say that you need another prescription.  If you go into too much detail, you'll confuse the poor idiot  -  they don't believe there is much withdrawal at all.

 

I wish you the best and remember you must take care of yourself - go for it!

 

Liz


#5 FiveNotions

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Posted 29 September 2014 - 08:20 PM

What a total asshat your doc is, Amy ... there is no need for you to be suffering like this, just because she's clueless ... this isn't "just in your head" ... it's real ... damn real ... and you're back in hard withdrawal thanks to her ... all rules are off now, I'd say ... do NOT live with this suffering just because of an asshat with an MD....

 

how 'bout you just "fib" to her ... tell her what she wants to hear .... call her, and say that you've given a lot of thought to her suggestions, and you do think you need an anti-d, but that that rather than go on a new one, you want to go back on the Cymbalta... at a low dose, like 20 or 30 mg ... that you think that's what was best for you .... also, ask her for a benzo to use while you get back on the Cymbalta ...

 

Then, use the new Cymbalta rx and go back up to the level where you were last stable, stay there until you feel good again, and just go back to the tapering as you were doing. No need to let the doc know, just do what you already know is best for you ... in the way that works best for you ...

 

Use the benzo to help you stay settled while you're getting yourself stable back on the Cymbalta ...

 

Also, as soon as you get stable on the crapalta, it may be the time to start looking for a new doc ... or, just wait until you've finished tapering fully off the crapalta ... and at your next appointment, tell her you're off the shit, no thanks to her ... :P


#6 Amybc7

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 06:10 AM

Thank you all!  

 

It is frustrating and scary.  

 

Then you get in that point where you doubt yourself.  It fuels the rest.  

 

I love the idea of telling her I'll go back on it!  I'm not sure why I didn't think of this!


#7 FiveNotions

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 08:00 AM

Amy, you didn't think of that idea because you were busy feeling frustrated, scared, and sick .. and doubting yourself ... thanks to Dr. Asshat :angry:

 

That's one of the many wonderful things about this forum ... we've got friends here who can do the thinking/figuring out for us when we're not quite able to think for ourselves ...

 

Keep us posted on how "Operation Asshat" goes ... :P


#8 brzghoff

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 09:44 AM

Thank you all!  

 

It is frustrating and scary.  

 

Then you get in that point where you doubt yourself.  It fuels the rest.  

 

I love the idea of telling her I'll go back on it!  I'm not sure why I didn't think of this!

 

 

i am so sorry you have a doc that totally dismissed your experience. she is not worthy of using the title "Doctor".

 

glad you are going to use FN's suggestion of telling her you're going back on and then tapering on your own. i was going to suggest that but FN beat me to it. as for not thinking of that yourself - you were in shock. who would ever think your doc would be so dismissive?


#9 gail

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 04:05 PM

FN, signed in just to say that you are GENIOUS, our mind is so fucked up that we dont think clearly on the moment.

 

Hey doc, I need to go back on the crap. Surely, Amy, the doc will go for that.


#10 FiveNotions

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 07:00 PM

They don't tell us the truth .... well, why then should we tell them the truth ...... two can play that game .... :P





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