You may have already read these first 3 "parts" below that I started over in Cymbalta in the news because i linked to a great article from the REBT network web site. i realize its more appropriate to post here.
i don't mean to be self indulgent, but i am working though anxiety and getting it all down "on paper" so to speak is helpful in my fight, and hopefully there might be something buried that can provide insight to others. some of this is repetitive since originally posted on three separate ocassions, feel free to "glaze over" if its too redundant
part 1
when we're in the throes of high anxiety, its like having an out of body experience, a feeling that everything is spinning out of control. the reality is, nothing has changed except for what we are telling ourselves. one way we can help talk ourselves down before we get too high is to challenge the irrational circular thinking that ratchets up our anxiety.
this link leads to an article that is from the web site for the REBT (rational emotive behavioral therapy) Network. it outlines a number of examples of irrational thinking that can set the spiral of anxiety into motion
http://rebtnetwork.o...rary/ideas.html
please note, the author uses hyperbole to get his point across, for example, the first irrational concept addressed is:
it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community.
most of us probably don't think that everyone should love us, but we may expect that someone in particular must love us, such as our children. you get the idea. i am a big fan of albert ellis, the founder of REBT. check it out.
part 2
i forgot to add that the inspiration for me posting this is because anxiety kicked in yesterday evening (after a good day) and i was working on getting my head "on right". it is therapeutic to post what is working for me, it helps reinforce my "lesson". it was a practice session.
no i don't know what the incident was that provoked the anxiety. daughter and family - including my 3 grandkids - arrive friday night and i am trying to get this place in order - and its actually going well, not much more to do. i am actually very excited! so i don't know if it was that or not. the feeling is much more physical, the heart rate and chest tightness. i guess just one of those things. we don't even know we are doing it to ourselves sometimes. my therp says sometimes we "worry about worrying" maybe that's it. it becomes a habit and we don't notice we're even doing it to ourselves. so that's one more irrational idea : even if i am not worrying now i might worry in the future and it would be awful to feel that anxiety and i couldn't stand it.
i would like to add that cymbalta withdrawal certainly makes us vulnerable to anxiety where we weren't before. our own body and brain have lost the mental strength to recognize the irrationality for ourselves. even if it is due to cymbalta withdrawal, the process to recover is the same. while meds help us get to the place we can work on the cognitive skills, we have to work on that part too. we can't just depend on time to take care of it. kind of like where you break your leg and wear a cast. once you get the cast off, your leg is fixed, but your muscle has atrophied. you've got to work on rebuilding the muscle tone. you can't just sit around and wait for it to mend on its own. the analogy works for those who took the C for pain and not depression as well. your muscles would still atrophy if you didn't break your leg but wore a cast. anti-depressants are a "cast" on your brain.
remember the "this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs" public service announcements? we could do one for the C, "this is your brain, this is your brain in a cast"
;-)
part 3
more thoughts i am posting that are helping me wrestle with the big bear of anxiety:
i posted over in the positives thread about family coming to visit. its been great, but not without taking a toll - or me allowing it to take a toll. anxiety requires permission to enter our consciousness, whether we realize it or not. chronic anxiety is a learned habit left over from when a repeated stressor triggered our fight or flight response to begin with. soon enough, it comes naturally with or without a trigger. the fear of fear. that is why its so darned difficult to treat, i must unlearn my habitual thought patterns. seems just when i think i have it licked, i find i still have a lot of work to do. the relationship to the C withdrawal is that when i was on the C, it masked the "result" of my irrational thought patterns - which is anxiety. in my case, before i took anti-d's i was depressed, but anxiety wasn't one of the symptoms. i think i got away with perpetuating irrational thinking that typically results in anxiety - but in my case, i didn't notice it until the C started leaving my system. of course withdrawal magnifies it.
its not easy to deal with. even though i have strategies, controlling anxiety is a constant work in progress. i suspect it will be lifelong. anxiety at times is excruciating and if i don't watch it i start to tell myself "i can't stand it" . well i am here today to tell you i can. if i couldn't i wouldn't be typing this. if i can do it so can others.
i do take clonidine which works to help lower blood pressure and heart rate, which are physical manifestations of anxiety - caused by the rush of cortisol, the hormone that is produced by the adrenal gland located on our kidneys. our brains trigger the glands to produce the cortisol. the clonidine doesn't get rid of my irrational thinking, just the physical result. i still have to deal with the irrational thinking. relying on a drug, whether it be clonidine, benzos, or something else, mask symptoms they do not remove the root cause. i know we all must make our own decisions, but i won't take benzos because i struggle with anxiety everyday. if i rely on a benzo to knock it down, the anxiety will come back when i stop. benzos are addictive and eventually they will poop out and i would be in worse shape than prior to taking them. i try to limit the clonidine to night-time to help with sleep, but it is still a crutch, just not one with as devastating consequence as a benzo. i have high blood pressure, i guess that helps me rationalize taking clonidine its is used as a BP med. for me benzos are good for reducing anxiety due to a temporary situation such as fear of flying or getting an MRI. i know when my flight is over. i don't know when my anxiety will end.
gotta, go wish i could finish, i have interruptions going on right now