anxiety kicked in big sunday. usual strategy - talking (no, yelling) back and telling anxiety to go to hell, staring it down and trying to get involved in an activity - while staying in the present (mindful awareness). i gave in and have taken kava kava a couple times. it works great for me and is not addictive and is a readily available nutraceutical. if you ever choose to take it - make your own decision based on your own research. there are claims it can cause liver damage, but there was nothing more than anecdotal reports about it in europe about 20 years ago. its been banned there but not in the US. one potential mitigating factor in those cases was a question of how the active ingredient was synthesized (use of acetone and other solvents) which are not used in the US supplies. water is used primarily, and sometimes alcohol (similar to how vanilla extract and such are created - not a significant amount). there was also a question of concurrent alcohol abuse in the cases in europe - as they involved "recreational use/abuse" of the kava kava. additionally, nothing other than the root should ever be consumed - no other part of the plant. hundreds of thousands of south pacific users over the centuries do not have a history of such problems. thats where kava kava plant is from. for what its worth dr oz recommends herb pharm brand of the root powder in a capsule or as a tincture. however, its best consumed as ground root steeped as a tea. i take the caps. the result is a very mild/subtle calming effect. does not make you drowsy. its best used to get you to a point where you can work on the cognitive skills. it is not total relief. there is still work to do!
again, do your own research, i am no expert, just expressing my personal experience.
the anxiety has also jacked up my blood pressure so i've been taking the clonidine every night the past few nights.
such is the life of recovery. two steps forward, one step back. i know this won't last.