Three years ago, I was put on anti depressants for general anxiety. On a scale of 1-10 I would say the anxieties were about a 7. Why didn’t my doctor just tell me to go to counseling? Maybe because they get a kick back for prescribing medication? Anyways, my point is, is that I never had any problems with my daily motivation and the way I felt until I was put on anti depressants (the first being Zoloft). I would say I had the normal amount of blues and anxieties of life. Over the next three years, I have been treated as a human guinea pig in efforts to get me back to my "normal self" from before the prescription to anti-depressants. Nothing has worked. Nothing has gotten me back to my athletic, motivated self. In year two I was finally placed on Cymbalta. No different from any of the others. Took weeks to adjust, felt tired, unmotivated, blahh like, all the time. Ate what I wanted when I wanted. Never studied...which is detrimental for a Pre-Med student. Upon telling this to my Dr., his solution was to adjust my dosage. So, here I went again, now I had to re-adjust. Once I became adjusted, my mood was back to blahh.
On attempt one I lasted maybe three days before I was taken to the ER for a panic attack...I thought it was a heart attack so don’t judge my over reaction!! haha. 9-13 months went by and I decide once again...Hey I do not need this stuff! It doesn’t make me feel better, I feel like a comatose lump on the couch. So, without the knowledge of my Dr. off I went, cold turkey. Now I get to explain what exactly I felt. These feelings are so out there it is hard for anyone to grasp what you are exactly going through.
My brain is where I would like to start: The best way to describe it...it felt like my head was full of fluid adding extreme pressure to my brain. If only I could poke a hole in my skull to let the pressure out! Graphic, sorry. My brain felt heavy and my head felt even heavier. This was the first day. On day two when I woke up and got ready for work, the ZAPS began. I was in my bathroom and when I turned my head, it was like the rest of the room had to catch up with the motion. Look left and stop. THEN comes the rest of the room. Look right and stop. Then comes the rest of the room accompanied by the rest of the sound, which in this case, was the bathroom fan. I had no idea what this feeling was, or that it could affect me in anyway, so I went to work anyways. Driving was even difficult. I had a hard time concentrating on the road as I would fall into a trance mode for seconds at a time....OH!!! IM DRIVING WAKE UP!!!! A car honked at me and I could FEEL the honk go through my brain. Trippy. I arrived to work which is when the dizziness arrived too. This dizziness is not like a nauseated dizzy, it strictly a head dizzy. I was a lifeguard so every time I moved my head to look at someone, it was like a flash, not like real life. So weird. I developed a migraine on the right side of my brain and could no longer concentrate (which is how I felt on Cymbalta), so I went home. The best solution at this point was to sleep, and sleep I did....for hours. I would wake up thinking I was getting up to do something...like go to the bathroom, but I hadn’t at all. So I would wake up again, do something, only to find out I was still laying in bed, this happened over and over and over. It was like I was paralyzed in a dream-like state. Every time I would wake up, I really was never awake. That one is hard to explain, but the only thing I can say is that I defiantly had my dose of withdrawal crazy. Over the next few days these symptoms worsened. I looked them up on-line and found that the ZAP was actually a common symptom of the cymbalta withdrawal. I also found that I could take months to be free of it. I went back on the drug instantly.
Six months later I am now weaning off again at my Drs. consent. We have both decided that anti depressants are not for me. I have been on a cymbalta-welbutrin cocktail, so she said that I will wean off cymbalta first, then the wellbutrin. She also said that for some people, stopping Cymbalta is difficult, but for others it isn’t. Why does it have to be hard for me!!!?? Today is Saturday and I began this on Wednesday. I cut back from 60mg to 30mg. According to the Doc I can stop Cymbalta completely unless I feel withdrawal, which in that case I am to use it every other day. Well Doc, it isn’t that easy! Here are my symptoms: As I mentioned before, I am a Pre-Med student. Ever tried to study while withdrawing from Cymbalta? Wow, I have never had to re-read material so many times, only to find out that I forgot it right away. My IQ has gone down...my DR. said that that can really happen. GREAT, I have a test on Monday! Speaking to people isn’t any better. I tend to ramble on and on and on....exactly like I am now. I talk to people at a fast pace and have no idea what I’m talking about. I feel soooo slow, but I am actually going super fast. I have breaks in my sentences when I speak, as it is difficult to recall words I want to use. Its like...”uhhh...the cat in the uhhhh uhhh ccchat..I mean hat. What am I talking about?? DO you know??” I will ask my roommate...”no...I don’t she says”. So not only is my IQ down...or whatever is wrong with my cognitive abilities, I have the pressurized feeling in my head and a headache from my neck up. I feel paranoid about everything I say, I’m irritable, and I can't express myself correctly. HELP! I am not going back to Cymbalta, I will conquer this. But, I really do need help. Is there anything that can alleviate my withdrawal crazies? Benadryl wont work because I am a full time student in the middle of mid terms.
I hope I did a good job describing the Cymbalta withdrawal crazies!
